From The Publisher: Wailing Women Are Out of Style

Dear My Savvy Sisters,

Once upon a time women were told they shouldn't speak up so their suffering went unnoticed and unchanged. Then it became a source of empowerment to wage war against the bottled up angst and frustrations that women face by venting our frustrations through song, in plays, movies and books. Today, the trend is changing. It is no longer cool to be a wailing woman, satisfied in pointing out all of the injustices in the world and celebrating victimhood.

Your struggles don't make you seem strong. Your battles don't build you up. We already know you hold the weight of the world on your shoulders as the mothers of the earth yet, there has to be an end to this 'Look at what they did to me' mentality.

Yes, there will be people who hurt you, intentionally or unintentionally but at the end of that day, no matter what their tactics are, you know that you will survive. Why relive those painful moments by dedicating monologues and screen plays to them? Why revive those troubled times by sharing speeches and gossip sessions that replay those petty incidents? It's not cool to be hurt, it doesn't make you a better woman to be a survivor.

We have to let go of the wailing woman attitude that we think elevates our status as women. We are more than survivors. We are more than the remains from our checkered pasts. We are the solution that this world has been seeking. No one can hold us back. None of their tactics will work. Every setback is a springboard because we are savvy enough to flip each and every negative circumstance we face into a situation that will benefit us in the long run.

We are not victims. We do not need to wail and create entire albums and books of poetry to voice the pain we once felt before we learned how to successfully navigate life.

Wailing women are out of style. The new version of cool, strong and trendy is to be HEALED, AUTHENTIC and BOLD.

Join Us.

Love,

Te-Erika

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From The Publisher: If Rihanna & Chris Brown ReUnite

Dear Readers,

I saw some interesting rants about the possibility of pop star Rihanna and Grammy winner Chris Brown getting back together. As usual, I cocked my head to the side and laughed.

If Rihanna and Chris Brown get back together, I won't be upset. Rihanna is a grown woman who knows more of this story than I do. If she is willing to forgive and move on from this situation than I have no problem with doing the same. If she is healing from this trauma and willing to give friendship another chance then who am I to force her to hold a grudge?

The problem with our society is that we define ourselves by our worst moments. Yes, this was a defining and publicly humiliating moment for Chris Brown and Rihanna but they have both done amazing things with their careers that few ever have the talent or perseverance to do. Who are we to become emotionally outraged by someone else's choices for their personal life?

As a general rule, I say "If you like it, I love it." I am fascinated by women who break the rules and live their lives on their own terms. I allow other people to live their lives as they wish and you will never catch me becoming outraged by how some women choose to live their lifestyles. It's none of my business, really and I am too focused on pursuing my own goals to become emotionally attached to someone else's choices. If you were busy building your dream, you wouldn't have time or the energy to form an opinion about someone else's life.

Become outraged by your own circumstances enough to change them. As for everyone else and their lives- laugh and then turn the page if it doesn't impact you personally or affect your bottom line.

All My Best,

Te-Erika

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From The Publisher: The Value of Entertainment

Dear Readers,

I was always one to gripe about the fact that men in tight pants holding a ball were paid millions of dollars to run across a field while our public school teachers have to get second jobs while they take on the insurmountable task of educating our children.

I couldn't stand it when people would make a fuss about celebrities, especially rappers, who do nothing but gyrate to degrading lyrics that do not uplift or educate or help anyone in any way.

Then, when I heard the news that songtress Whitney Houston had died, I felt the sting of the announcement in my heart. I cried. Yes, I cried. Her voice walked with me as I grew into the woman I am today. Although I have never met her, I felt like she was a part of me. This confused me until I realized exactly why the entertainment industry is so valuable.

We all have goals and dreams and we work damn hard to achieve them. Day in and day out we either put up with annoying bosses and co workers or we are breaking our backs trying to build our own empires. We know what it means to labor for our dreams and to maintain the lifestyles that we believe we deserve. We understand what its like to hunger, to yearn and to break barriers in business as we attempt to leave our footprint on the world. But even those moments of victory as we achieve our goals aren't nearly as sweet as the moments when we are simply free to 'be'.

During those moments where profit margins don't matter, outsmarting the competition isn't a concern and the bills aren't weighing us down we are free to truly enjoy life. These moments of bliss are often earmarked by a particular song we heard or a comparable scene from a movie. As we write the scripts for our own lives, we take pleasure in the simple things that allow us to experience the essence of 'being'- our emotions.

What do we do during those times when we aren't toiling away at our goals? We take our shoes off, we sit back on the couch and we turn on the television or log on to the internet to be moved by someone else's creative work.

We lose ourselves in the songs that musicians create. We become emotionally invested in soap operas. We root for out favorite sports teams because their victory feels like ours. We visit message boards and type out angry tirades against the decisions of politicians because we believe our opinions are important too.

During those times when we aren't doing what we HAVE to do, we get to do what we want to do and what is that? We want to laugh, to cry, to hate, to cheer- we want to feel emotion. The value of entertainment is in its ability to induce emotion in the spectator. If a woman can belt out a tune that makes us feel her pain, we applaud.

We are always seeking an acceptable outlet for our emotions. In this society we are deemed mentally ill if we express any feeling besides a placated happiness. But we are more than just that fake smile we wear at the office. We are more complex than that happy go lucky image we think people want to see. This is why we are drawn to the drama and the passion of watching the details of the lives of celebrities and this is exactly why we are willing to pay big bucks to be entertained.

And you know what? We deserve it. We work hard for it. We endure. We keep the world moving.

So go ahead, you celebrity puppets. ~clap, clap~ Do something silly.

Entertain us.

I mean, we're paying you enough.

All My Love,

Te-Erika

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From The Publisher: Suicide Is Not The Gateway To Hell

Dear Readers,

This week the entertainment community at large mourned the death of famed Soul Train host, Don Cornelius.

Cornelius, who was the visionary that brought soul to mainstream television through his widely watched dance show that first aired in 1970 was found dead in his home of a self inflicted gunshot wound. Cornelius was 75.

While the mere passing of any iconic figure is enough to spread massive mourning, the manner in which he died overshadowed the fact that he is no longer with us. Bloggers and commenters alike debated over whether we should mourn him or scorn him for taking his own life.

He's going to hell.

He sinned the biggest sin.

The truth is, this man was 75 years old and his decision to end his own life is his personal choice. He's not going to hell because hell does not exist in an afterlife. Hell is living a life in fear of going to hell. Hell is believing that you can not have the life you envision and allowing others to dictate your life choices. Hell is dismissing the value of your current life in favor of an afterlife that someone you love described to you.

No, I am not an advocate for suicide. I do not believe that anyone should end their life because they believe they have no other options for a bright future, however, at 75, I think he has the right to say, "I'm done with this. I am good."

I do my best to help others to create heaven on earth. I hope they understand that there is a better life waiting for them if they stop pressuring themselves to achieve versions of success that are not dictated by their own desires. I want to help stop the madness of depression that plagued me for so many years because I had not achieved 'success' like so many others expected of me.

I do all of this work to help ease wounded souls, but I do believe at a certain point, no amount of motivation can help you to value this life experience. If your extreme desire is to be done with this, so be it. I can not hold you back, hold you up or condemn you for it.

I'm still here, moving and shaking and there are plenty others who are doing the same. For those of you who want to live life abundantly and without limits, I ask you to join me in creating a super adventure out of your life.

Let's have as much fun as we can. Let's become so focused on enjoying our personal version of heaven on earth that we don't have time to judge others. Focus on you and transforming your life into the life of your dreams while allowing those around you to do the same.

All My Best!

Te-Erika

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From The Publisher: Help Stop SOPA

If you visited our site yesterday, January 18th you may have been surprised to notice that our url redirected you toa website that shared information about a bill that is in front of Congress called SOPA. SOPA is an acronym for Stop Internet Piracy Act and on the surface it seems to be a good idea for those who create movies, music and other intellectual property because it would protect them from thieves who steal their creative work and profit from it.

However, the details of this plan move beyond the protection of intellectual and creative property. The details of this proposed bill call for any website that could possibly allow the infringement of a copyright to be closed down. This means that any website, including our favorite sites like Youtube, could be permanently shut down simply for creating the space that may possibly allow someone to infringe on someone else's copyright.

This hurts the dissemination of information and creativity that the internet thrives on. Just imagine how our advances in communication will be reverted back in time. We have all learned to adjust to the changes that the internet brought into our lives and many have learned to profit from them. If this bill passes, we will all have to go back to reading newspapers and waiting for someone to tell us the world news instead of watching and reading as our internet friends report it as it happens.

To help stop this bill you can visit AmericanCensorship.Org.

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From The Publisher: State The Vision & Make It Plain

One of the key factors in achieving any goal is to have the end result in mind when you begin. The plan you deveop will NOT happen the way you envision it but in keeping the end result in mind, you will be able to adjust your plans quickly and with ease understanding that there is always more than one way to get what you want.

Sit down for a moment and decide what you want to be when you grow up. In other words, when your goal is accomplished what will you see around you that will let you know you have arrived at your destination?

I have decided to share my vision for MySavvySisters.Com.

• MySavvySisters.Com is known world-wide as the leading destination for the empowerment of women.
• The women who are honored as MySavvySisters are leaders in their respective fields and offer insight and inspiration for those who have similar visions.
• MySavvySisters.Com offers a variety of ways to connect women with the resources they need to aid them in prospering holistically.
• MySavvySisters.Com hosts conferences around the globe that connect women whose desire is to help each other succeed.
• MySavvySisters.Com offers a variety of products that create income to sustain itself financially and affords us the opportunity to offer the financial assistance women need to survive during life's down times.
• MySavvySisters.Com trains and supports the newest generation of female leaders, offering them the opportunity to join our speakers bureau and spread their unique offerings of inspiration.
• MySavvySisters.Com proudly reinforces the path to enlightenment, offering the keys to self acceptance while negating the idea of "tolerance" for a more celebratory respect for all beliefs and expressions of faith.

All My Love,

Te-Erika

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From The Publisher: We're Learning To Accept Ourselves

I'm wondering if it's just the way our technology is evolving that has affected the way we see ourselves or maybe it's the fact that we no longer feel we are so isolated because there are now a multitude of ways to connect with other like minded individuals through cyberspace.

Through my personal interactions with others I have found that although we can celebrate our individuality, we find true peace of mind in loving ourselves as a result of making heartfelt connection with others. Although we pretend we don't need to be accepted, we really do appreciate it when we can be our true selves and are appreciated for it.

I read a quote somewhere that said the phrase 'Really? Me too.' is the first sign of friendship.

If you are a lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgendered or questioning individual and you are afraid that no one will understand or accept you, allow me to be the first to say: Really? Me too.

I am bisexual.

My Coming Out Story

About two years ago, I was innocently serving as a waitress when the restaurant doors opened and in walked the most beautiful woman in the world. I didn't know what to do besides stare with my mouth open and when I went home that evening I sat in confusion wondering what was going on with me.

"That's a girl," I said to myself. "That was a GIRL."

But why did I want to talk to her, to get to know her, to hold hands with her? Why did I want to match with her and be bestfriends with her? Eventually I realized that I wanted to kiss her too. It was a rough 3 months for me as I sought out people to talk to about what was happening in my mind. The people around me that I knew were openly gay didn't believe me and laughed at me when I tried to ask questions. They told me I was playing around but I wasn't.

I decided to fight through the confusion and I joined a website called Downelink to see if I could meet someone to talk to. There I met so many beautiful, smart women who loved other women and I even met my first internet girlfriend. Through her I learned that I could love a woman's heart and mind. Then I began to notice other women noticing me and on an impulse I went out to perform some of my spoken word art and I met the woman who would be my first.

Although she turned out to be someone who wasn't very nice to me, I appreciate that experience because I completely faced my fears of my questioning sexuality. I transformed from the 'Q' in LGBTQ to the 'B' as I embraced loving and being loved by both sexes.

I shared some of my thoughts during this process on my youtube channel. Here's a sample video.



I am proud of who I am today, tomorrow and everyday that will come. It doesn't really matter who is comfortable with who I decide to love as long as I decide that I can love who I want and not be ashamed of it.

I'm beautiful. I'm smart. I'm sexy. Why wouldn't both sexes want me? ~grins~

It's okay. Take your time. Explore. Love. Live. Be Proud.

Love,

Te-Erika

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Innovator, Strategist, Philosopher- Celebrating The Wisdom of Steve Jobs

After the announcement of the death of Steve Jobs this Wednesday, Apple's lead visionary, the entire technology community and those who value its innovations mourned his passing. Jobs, who passed away from pancreatic cancer, was not only the lead visionary behind Apple's remarkable brand, he was also an inspiration leader, sharing the secrets of his success to all who would listen.

Many who worked for him described him as "tough" and "unrelenting" yet those who benefit from his strict adherence to the development and implementation of his ideas are grateful for his personality and passion for his work.

Yes, he was an innovator, a strategist and an organizer but he was also a philosopher, well known for planting seeds of unique wisdom for future leaders.

I believe I am a future leader. I believe I have a significant contribution to make to this world yet I wrestle with doubt and confusion because I think so differently from most. People describe me as a "crazy genius" and many laugh at my efforts to teach women how to empower themselves through thought and freedom from the pressure to be great. I sometimes describe myself as crazy because I feel that way, never fitting in, always feeling like I'm the only one fighting the good fight for the benefit of others and trying to create ways to give what I have always wanted to receive.

"Why are you doing this?" I am asked frequently.

"I want to help women be better than me, to truly appreciate themselves in freedom," I reply.

"You're not Jesus," they say.

"I know, I just feel like someone has to do it."

Today I am grateful that I shared the same lifetime as Jobs and have benefited from his wisdom. These are just a few of my favorite words of wisdom from Steve Jobs.

Inspirational Quotes by Steve Jobs

You can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.

Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.

Be a yardstick of quality. Some people aren’t used to an environment where excellence is expected.

My job is not to be easy on people. My jobs is to take these great people we have and to push them and make them even better.
I’m convinced that about half of what separates the successful entrepreneurs from the non-successful ones is pure perseverance.






Here’s to the crazy ones, the misfits, the rebels, the troublemakers, the round pegs in the square holes… the ones who see things differently — they’re not fond of rules… You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them, but the only thing you can’t do is ignore them because they change things… they push the human race forward, and while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius, because the ones who are crazy enough to think that they can change the world, are the ones who do.

Thank you, Steve.

You made a difference.

Te-Erika

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From The Publisher: We're Murderers

I don't know how America slept last night. I know for a fact that I couldn't rest. To think that there was nothing we could do to stop our court system from murdering a man and label it 'punishment' makes me want to cry. I am crying. I weep for us all. How helpless are we? How unimportant were our pleas? All across the country men and women spoke out, begging for a delay in the execution of Troy Davis, a man who was convicted of killing an off duty policeman in 1989.

Yes, I grieve also for the family of the slain officer. Their loved one was taken from them in an act of violence and I do believe in justice, just not this way. The rumor mill alleges that there was not sufficient evidence to uphold the 1989 conviction yet, for some reason, the Supreme Court overturned the final appeal.

In the final four hours as we waited for the Supreme Court decision I asked myself- What kind of country are we? What kind of people govern us? Do the laws that were put in place to protect us really serve us in this modern day?

Our prisons are filled with men and women who are snatched away from their lives. Isn't that punishment enough not to be able to live, work, play and grow and then to be released and stigmatized for the rest of your lives? Wouldn't that have been punishment enough for Troy Davis? Who are we to play God? Who are we to decide who lives and dies?

I would expect this kind of behavior from rebel forces who did not understand the power of love and light, but not from the greatest country on earth. I guess we're unstoppable. I guess we have to answer to no one. I guess this is a sign that we are no different than those we label terrorists when we terrorize our nation too.

America, watch out. There is a universal principle in progress that is best described by the yin and yang symbol. Nothing is permanent- not our pain, not our struggles, not our weaknesses nor our failures. Everything in life has to balance out. There can not be constant power and domination because nothing in life is constant. Instead of believing that we are invincible disregarding the mercy that our Creator granted us, we must remember to remain humble even at the height of our greatest conquests because through all of our might, all of our glory, all of our successful ventures- this too, shall pass.

In Love,

Te-Erika Patterson
Publisher
My Savvy Sisters

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Oprah: The Chosen One

I am not an Oprah Winfrey fanatic like most women I know. I was in school when her shows were on television and I never jumped on the band wagon frankly because I was too busy trying to survive and understand myself.

I heard great and wonderful things about her show and her career. I even managed to study her life quite a bit as I studied the great leaders and movers of my time. I was impressed by her natural ability to connect with people and I always wondered what she had, that I didn't have. I wondered what it would be like to have a bit of that magic.

I think I felt a personal connection with Oprah's life story around the time that I began to transform spiritually. It's funny how her endorsement of Eckhart Tolle's A New Earth made me pay attention to her messages. I saw that Oprah had began the journey to enlightenment. Gone were the days when her message was solely one of upliftment. I saw in her what most extremely successful people seek, an understanding of themselves.

When you accomplish every dream you ever had, then what? When you exceed your own expectations for life then what? When you can buy and sell small countries, then what? What's left to conquer? What's left to reach for? I know, you reach for understanding. You wonder about the truth of the mysteries of life and the world.

You wonder about your own powers. You wonder why others can't tap into those same things. you wonder if maybe you were just lucky or what your life would have been like if you were different. You realize that you aren't really special but then again, you wonder what set you apart.

I believe Oprah came to that point and she was still searching for that fulfillment that only comes with complete self acceptance and the true understanding that, we will never understand anything. It's best to simply adopt beliefs that make you feel good and try your best to be happy every day.

I watched her show's finale as a spectator who is not really impressed by fame and it didn't move me as much as I thought it would. The legacy she has built and the amount of people she has aided through her fame and fortune made me tear up, but that is because I can only DREAM of giving a portion of the aid she has given. It felt like a glimpse into my future.

I want to give that same help to women.

I want to give it through this website and other foundations and organizations. I'm shaking my head as I type this because it all seems so unrealistic as I sit here in the homeless shelter, desperately hoping that more businesses will partner with me to make my job fair a success.

I'm just one woman giving a nod to a living legend who is being celebrated for sharing her gifts with the world.

Oprah: The Chosen One

I bet she had no idea she would become who she has become. None of us do.

Surprise. Surprise.

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Why Are You Still Single?

Dear Readers,

I have asked myself this question countless times? At first I figured there was something wrong with me so I made it my personal quest to fix myself by delving into personal development and studying philosophy and psychology. While I enjoyed every minute of my studies, in the end I came up with an answer that shocked me; there is nothing wrong with me.

I am single because I choose to be. Sometimes I think I'd like to have a partner but I realize that this desire was born out of frustration from having to figure things out alone and to support myself alone. I didn't really want a romantic partner, or I could have had one. I was really looking for a sponsor and a business partner. Turning myself into a brand name and owning my own business was my main goal and I only fantasized about a companion who could help me attain those goals.

After writing my first self help book, It's Not A Sin To Be Single, and really looking at myself backwards and forwards, upside and down, I realized that I am not really unhappy with stumbling through the world alone. I think I was pressuring myself to meet that ideal life marker because I was faltering in every other area. I simply wanted to prove to myself that I could do SOMETHING right. I guess romantic love wasn't a good gauge.

I have been single for 9 years and I am weirdly proud of this accomplishment. To me this means that I have not settled for anything less than I deserve and I can't remember the last time I cried over a partner. I am not sitting up at night wondering if someone loves me for real and I am not waiting for a rescuer anymore.

I am FREE.

Free to love myself the way I always wished I had been loved by someone else. I still have desires and urges but I am very creative and I take care of them just like anyone else. I no longer pressure myself to find true love because it's not something that you can pressure yourself into.

I cringe at the thought of years I wasted badgering myself and condemning myself because I had not met the ONE. The ONE is in everyone, if I weren't so caught up in my ideal. I can be loved a thousand ways and I have been. My mistake was in putting love into a box and not accepting it in the countless ways it had been offered.

I caution you, dear reader, with your face scrunched up as you read my words. I caution you to relax and allow yourself to enjoy this time in your life. You never know what is around the corner and you'll have wasted years being angry instead of enjoying this season. No season of your life is permanent and no season is without a good cause.

You are single for a reason. Allow yourself the freedom to seek, learn and grow.

This week I am featuring women who are making the most out of their single life. Some of them yearn for love while others are adamantly against it, but in every way, they love who they are and they wouldn't change anything about themselves.

In all sincerity,

Te-Erika

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The Truth About Psychic Intuitives

Dear Readers,

Have you ever contacted a psychic?

Why would you? You're in control, you know just what to do. You're in charge of your destiny and you know it. You don't need any help.

Millions around the globe may disagree especially when it comes to career counseling and insight on direction for life. I have always been intrigued by the psychic career path. I wondered what it would be like to know what is going to happen and how this knowledge would affect your choices. Is it even possible to know what our future holds?

By chance I was approached by a psychic intuitive a few years ago. She was a reader of my personal blog. She offered to give me a reading and I accepted. She had nothing good to say which annoyed me. She only predicted more struggle and hunger.

I'll never forget reading her words, "There is no love around you at this time." I was annoyed and upset but she was right.

At the beginning of this year something about her caught my attention. Although we hadn't emailed each other in over a year I sent her an email asking how she was doing because we had stopped corresponding and her kind words even despite her ugly prediction resonated with my spirit.

When she replied she seemed happy to hear from me, "I have a premonition for you although I am sure you don't want to hear it," she began. Her prediction was startling and upsetting to say the least. She predicted that I would get married- not soon, but in the near future. With no prospects and no love at all in my life, I brushed off her prediction and kept moving.

As my life shifted and everything began to fall away, my jobs, school, my friends, my life direction changed in a way that I never thought it would. I was depressed and sad and I didn't know what to do with myself.

One afternoon in the midst of this depression I received an email from her. "You need a reading. You think you don't but you do."

I accepted the reading and she emailed me a 5 page report. The main idea of the report was a new direction for my career which then evolved into My Savvy Sisters.Com. She predicted that my destiny was to begin a website for women that offered resources to help them to survive in life.

I was a bit thrown off by this prediction. "I guess I am a survivor," I thought to myself. "But I'm in no way capable of leading others. I'm barely surviving myself."

But, I had nothing better to do so I began the website anyway and look at what it has turned into. She didn't give me specific instructions but she did give me a general overview and I had to do all the work myself.

"Through this website you will achieve the thing that has eluded you the most," she wrote. "Personal fulfillment."

She was right.

After accepting her advice and beginning this work I have never felt more in tune with who I am and I have never felt more happy to serve. I could have served a hundred tables at Red Lobster or written a hundred more books, but THIS work, meeting you and serving up inspiration and survival skills, is what feeds my soul.

I am not suggesting you run out and go pay a psychic for help. This week I am featuring Intuitive Counselors because I want their work to be respected and recognized because it is a valuable and credible profession for many who have learned to unleash the gift of intuition that is inherent to us all. We ALL have this gift, but these intuitive counselors have tapped into it and have decided to make their gift, a gift to the world.

Read More about our featured Intuitives as the week goes on.

Sue Frederick - Intuitive Career Counselor

In Love,

Te-Erika

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Recovering From Spiritual Abuse

Dear Readers,

From personal experience I understand the inner workings of spiritual abuse. It begins slowly and is truly understood once you leave the abusive situation. This week we will share stories of women who have survived spiritual abuse.

I am a survivor. I do not define my life by that experience but it has left a permanent mark on my spirit. I joined a group of radical young Christians when I was an undergraduate. I loved this group because they represented the family that was absent from my life while I was away at college. I was a young college student and a mother and I wanted to belong to something that would ensure that I wouldn't make mistakes in life. I needed answers. I needed guidance. I desperately wanted to be approved and shown the way. I looked around at so many families in church and I felt that they were the perfect representation of success. I wanted that life too. I reached out to them and they accepted me. They cared for me. They taught me. They walked with me hand in hand, teaching me. They called it discipleship. Their teachings were very different from mainstream churches but the basic premise was that because God had led me to this spiritual family, I should submit to their authority and only then would I be okay.

I began to notice the signs that my former church was spiritually abusive once I decided to leave and move back home. I was done with school and ready for the next phase of my life. My Pastor told me I needed counseling before I made the decision, pastoral counseling of course. When I refused he said I was being immature and leaving the covering of their authority.

Spiritual authority? Who came up with that idea?

There is no man, woman, pastor or child who is capable of guiding you in life better than you are capable of making the best choices for yourself. The reason why spiritual abuse is so rampant is the fact that we are taught from birth that we are dirty, sinful creatures and that we need something or someone outside of ourselves to save us from ourselves. We seek approval from spiritual leaders and instead of serving our spirit or a higher power, we become servants to them.

I have watched as my friends made decisions based only by what their pastor advised. These same friends advised me to do the same. "You better go find someone who can hear from God better than you!" a friend once told me. This statement, along with another friend who told me, "There are different levels in Christ, wait until you get on my level," completely pushed me away from organized religion.

While I am a firm believer that everyone should have something to believe in, giving away your personal power to believe you can make the best decisions for your own life will lead to spiritual abuse.

Unless you are forced into a spiritually abusive situation because you are under aged and have no choice but to obey your caretakers you have the right to walk away from anyone who says they are in charge of hearing from God for you.

But some of us want to give away our power because we don't want to take responsibility for our lives. We hand our power to those in "official" positions because we desire to be good and righteous, we want to have the best lives yet we have no idea how to ensure that will happen. We follow others, hoping that their way will become the "right" way for us too. When we begin to think for ourselves we see other choices but if the choices are not agreed upon by the ones we respect the most, we fall in despair because we don't trust ourselves and their opinions mean everything to us.

You know you are in a spiritually abusive situation when:

1) Someone says they are your authority and can hear from God on your behalf.
2) Your decisions are not your own and must be approved by an official or group of people.
3) Your spiritual group believes they are the chosen ones, set aside from all others in your belief system.
4) You determine your self worth by how your spiritual group feels about you and your decisions.
5) You are told not to associate with other members of society who do not belong to your group.
6) When you try to leave you are shunned or harassed or told that you are walking outside of the will of God.

Why would anyone succumb to spiritual abuse? It's simply a lack of trust in the ourselves. We should trust ourselves more. We feel like we can't make the best decisions for ourselves but we can. The ability to transform our lives into what we want it to be lives within us.

We don't believe we are able to trust that small, inner voice so we don't sit still and listen. We only think that others who are more holy or appointed can hear direction, but we are wrong. There is no need for a middle man to assure us of our path. We need not seek approval. We give our power away when we believe that anyone has the authority to tell us what we should do with our lives. Our spiritual leaders are their to affirm us and not map out every step. Our spiritual leaders should direct us toward listening for our own guidance when we feel we have lost our way.

We have ears to hear but we don't use them because we have been trained that we are not worthy to reach understanding within ourselves. This is not true. The truth lives with you and in you. The answer is the force helping you to breathe. You breathe the power of this inner guidance every day in every moment. Trust yourself. You know the way.

Take a look at this week's feature stories.

Cindy, a spiritual abuse counselor shares insight on the cycle behind the abuse. Read here

Erika tells her story of being raised in a spiritually abusive environment and gathering the courage to walk away. Read here

Both of these stories were shared so that if you are not content with where you are, if you feel like something is wrong with what your leaders are telling you, if you even feel the slightest nudge to get away you will know that you can survive.

Everyone's life journey is unique and should be respected. There is no way that I can guide you or tell you what to believe. I do know that when it's right, it feels right. When something is true, there is no control. When someone truly loves you, you do not have to do things their way all the time. They respect and trust you to make the best decisions for your lives and they support that.

Find a group that feeds your spirit and empowers you. Find a place to grow where you can be yourself and not judged and corrected at every turn. Who knows what tomorrow will bring, our beliefs can change at any moment due to any number of influences. As for today, I choose peace of mind over anything else anyone could offer.

In Love,

Te-Erika

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Childless by Choice: Your Choice, Your Life

Greetings to My Savvy Sisters!

This week I would like to introduce an alternative lifestyle that many are unaware of. I was first introduced to this concept last summer when I met a young lady who was recently married. I always ask about love stories and she eagerly shared hers with me. After mooning over the bliss of true love I asked, "So when are you going to have a baby?"

"I'm not," she shared.

"What do you mean?"

"I am not having any children. I told my husband before we were married and I guess he didn't believe me. I don't want children."

I was awestruck. "You don't WANT children? How can that be?"

She shrugged. "Motherhood doesn't benefit the woman in any way," she explained. "I'm not getting into that."

For the next few days I couldn't get her perspective out of my mind. Recently, as I researched various topics to explore on My Savvy Sisters I came across a woman by the name of Laura Scott, who has written a book called Two Is Enough: A Couple's Guide To Living Childfree by Choice.

I was astonished by the Childless by Choice Project and the work that Laura has put into it. On her website she published the results of a survey that details the attitudes of 171 voluntary childless/childfree individuals living in the U.S. and Canada.

The website reports the results of the survey as follows:

The Top Six Motives are:
1) I love our life, our relationship, as it is, and having a child won't enhance it.
2) I value freedom and independence.
3) I do not want to take on the responsibility of raising a child.
4) I have no desire to have a child, no maternal/paternal instinct.
5) I want to accomplish/experience things in life that would be difficult to do if I was a parent.
6) I want to focus my time and energy on my own interests, needs, or goals.

The first three motivations listed above were determined to be top motivators because they were rated a 4 or 5 on a scale of 0-5 by more than 70 percent of the respondents. The remaining three were rated a 4 or 5 by over 60 percent of the respondents indicating they were also strong motivators for the majority of the participants. All of the motivations above had an average rating of more than 3.5.

What are the Least Compelling Motives for this group?

The following motive statements had an average rating below 2.5 indicating that were compelling motives only for a minority of the group surveyed.

“I delayed having children and eventually decided I wanted to remain childless.”

Only 21 percent of women and 22 percent of men gave this statement a rating of 4 or 5. That is not surprising as only 21 percent of the survey respondents described themselves as “postponers.”

The rest of the survey respondents had made the decision to remain childless early in adulthood, or had “acquiesced” to a partner’s wish to remain childfree, or were “undecided.”

“I am concerned about the physical risks of childbirth and recovery.” Only 24 percent of the women rated this statement a 4 or 5. However it is interesting that 12 percent of the men surveyed rated this statement a 4 or a 5 indicating that some men are concerned about the risks of childbirth and recovery, too.

“People I know have not realized the rewards they expected as a parent.” Only 30 percent of men and 25 percent of women surveyed strongly identified with this statement.

“I don't think I would make a good parent.” Interestingly, only 26 percent of the men and 30 percent of the women surveyed were strongly compelled to remain childfree because of perceived lack of parenting skills or aptitude.

After reaching out to Laura Scott to congratulate her on her work, I asked her if she knew any women who wouldn't mind being profiled for this feature. She posted an announcement on her facebook page and 5 delightful women contacted me to be a part of this feature. Each day this week I will post a new profile of a woman who is happy being Childless By Choice.

Whether you're enjoying motherhood or deciding to live a different lifestyle, there is a lot to be learned from women who take a stance to do what they feel is best for them rather than following the status quo to appease others.


Women Who Enjoy The Childless by Choice Lifestyle

Lindsay's Story

Susan's Story

Jennifer's Story

Sheila's Story

Angela's Story


With Love,

Te-Erika

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FOUND: The Cure For HIV

She introduced herself through one of my social networking sites. I replied and we exchanged pleasantries until one day she disappeared. A few months later I received a friend request from a woman who called herself “Natalia”. Natalia revealed that she had been one of my friends before but had to leave due to personal reasons. This was the same woman I had engaged with before.

“Would it be okay if I called you?” she asked. I agreed to speak with her. I had a feeling she had something meaningful to say.

I was right.

“My mother died from HIV,” she began. "I’ve had it since birth. I’ve been on the medication my entire life. I’m 20 now.”

I closed my eyes and took in a breath.

“I have someone you should speak with,” I told her. “You may not believe me but you might believe her.”

I clicked over and connected her with another friend of mine. This friend says that she knows how to reverse an HIV status. That was four months ago.**

In honor of International Women’s Day I want to help liberate women around the world who are suffering from their HIV status. I want to share with you the truth behind “the virus that causes AIDS.”

Through my own desire and interest I have done much research and have come to the conclusion that HIV is not a life threatening disease. Research shows that HIV is not even a virus. The medicine that is prescribed to combat this “virus” is actually the culprit behind so many AIDS related deaths.

If you or someone you know has HIV and are on the medication, I encourage you to stop taking it immediately. A positive HIV status is not an indication that you are doomed to an early death. A positive HIV test result CAN be changed to a negative one. Even if your results never change you may still lead a long and healthy life if you learn to take care of yourself by eating healthy foods and regular exercise.

If you are shocked by what you are reading then please consider why you believe what you believe about HIV. Please re consider why you believe anything that you believe. Most often, it is because someone told you to believe it.

My Savvy Sisters are not women who follow the crowd. My Savvy Sisters are women who seek and define truth for themselves.

Heal yourself. The cure for HIV is in the medicine; if you stop taking it. Live a healthier, more blissful life. The only death sentence you have been given, comes in the form of the prescription handed to you by your doctor.

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**No More AZT For Me: Natalia's Story

Kary Mullis, PhD. On AIDS

Fatal Distraction

Death By Drug

In Love,

Te-Erika Patterson

Publisher, My Savvy Sisters

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Love Your Body - In Honor of National Eating Disorders Week

It's National Eating Disorders Awareness Week which takes place from February 20th through the 16th. To show my support of this effort, I encourage everyone to take a second look at their body and re evaluate what they see.

Anyone who knows me, knows that I have a somewhat conservative style. It's more bohemian, neo-soulish which means I rarely wear skin tight dresses, show off my cleavage or wear mini skirts. In fact, it took years for me to even be comfortable enough to wear an off-the-shoulder dress because I didn't want anyone staring at my body.

If I chose to be intimate with someone the lights were turned off and I still kept my shirt on. Whenever I'd see my best friend Tamara wearing a bathing suit it would bother me. She has two children and still has six pack abs. Why wasn't I that lucky?

Today I woke up and had a heart change. My body is mine. It's the only one I have. If it works just fine, why should I be ashamed of it? I am not a teenager therefore I shouldn't expect to have a teenager body. I am not a model so I don't need a flat stomach and completely tight skin. I am a mother and my body reflects that.

My body is the transportation for the essence of who I am. It does not define me, I define it.

I decided to face my fear of my body image by trying an experiment. I would wear my bikini (the first one I have had as an adult) and walk downtown to see if I could get random strangers to take pictures of me. I have never done anything like this. In fact, there are very few full body photos of me, even fully clothed, in existence because I was too uncomfortable with my body to take them.

As I got dressed I felt a bit nervous. Could I really walk around like this in public without feeling like a fool? But I did. I pressed on.

I saw a man sitting on a bench and I asked him to take pictures of me and he did. When I reviewed the photos I gulped. Is that what I look like with no clothes on? Immediately I began to feel self conscious, my thoughts raced as I went through my mental Rolodex of past lovers. Is this the body they held and caressed and united with? Was it okay to look this way?

I shook off those thoughts and I walked on. I encountered a young man and when I engaged him in conversation he said, "The media will lie to you and make you feel as though you aren't beautiful but you are."

He took pictures of me as well and I felt like a star as I stood on the sidewalk in plain view of everyone.

I wore a bikini on the street and you know what, I don't look that bad.

If you are having a difficult time embracing your body, join with me in appreciating yourself. Your body is your gift. It is the means by which the essence of who you are expresses itself and is allowed to enjoy this experience called LIFE.

You are okay just the way you are.

You are simply beautiful if you believe it.








Join me in celebrating your body. Wear your bikini and take a picture. If you send in your picture I will post it on My Savvy Sisters.

Celebrate YOU!

You are beautiful just the way you are.

Love,

Te-Erika
Publisher, My Savvy Sisters

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Welcome To My Savvy Sisters

Welcome to My Savvy Sisters, an online magazine dedicated to helping women THRIVE in Life.

I am Te-Erika Patterson, an inspirational journalist and Success Coach. I live in Miami, Florida and I am the mother of two beautiful boys, Sai and Solomon. Throughout my life I have endured many hardships but I have overcome them all. Allow me to share the lessons I've learned along the way so that you can see yourself through.

If you are a Savvy Sister, I invite you to contact me at mysavvysisters@gmail.com and let me know how you were able to overcome and thrive in your life.

If you have a business or product you created and want to promote, I will be happy to assist you. If you have a story of triumph to share, I will be pleased to offer it to our readers as a blissful song of inspiration.

Regardless of race, class, lifestyle or religious beliefs, we are all sisters and should remain focused on uplifting each other toward our own versions of success.

I'm excited to begin this endeavor with the highest of intentions and visions. Partner with me as we begin a miracle...together.

Love,

Te-Erika

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