REBUILD: Redefining The Rebuild Your Life Project

Today I almost had a breakdown. Standing in traffic looking at the cars pull up I thought to myself, "I'm wasting my time asking for donations. There's so much more I need to do."

The reality is, the donations I collect on the street corners help fund this project and without them I wouldn't be able to assist the women that I meet or take buses to the places I need to go.

Most people think this project is about homelessness. It is not. The Rebuild Your Life Project is about facing your biggest fear of losing everything and becoming homeless and how even the worst case scenario can be overcome with the right mental attitude, knowledge of resources and belief.

After my first attempt to organize the job fair did not go well I have to redefine my intentions, which haven't changed much.

MAIN OBJECTIVE of The Rebuild Your Life Project:

To empower women to overcome their fear of failure and losing everything by allowing them to watch me as I rebuild my life from nothing.

1. Teach mental strategies for success through video.
2. Showcase resources that women can use to find help if they need to rebuild their lives.
3. Establish a grant to help a single mom move off of the streets and into her own place. 3 months rent and living expenses. Target: $3,000
4. Host a job fair specifically for homeless women in Miami-Dade and Broward counties that has 30 businesses participate.
5. Raise funds to redevelop MySavvySisters.Com into an online community that serves women.

In addition I will now have to:

Find a quiet place with a strong internet connection to work on my project during the day and evening hours EVERY DAY.
Secure events to raise funds for this project
Profile 30 homeless women who are employable to showcase to potential employers
Seek donations to furnish the home of the woman who wins the grant.
Secure speaking engagements to share about my project and the resources I find.
Continue to provide empowering articles and resource information through MySavvySisters.Com.
Continue to assist other homeless mothers in their quest to rebuild their lives.
Continue to investigate the homeless lifestyle and it's trappings and resources and report on them.

I have a lot on my plate and the hours seem to go by fast every day.

Bit by bit. Day by day. Phone call by phone call.

I will do this.

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REBUILD: Dusting Myself Off

My heart is hurting so much right now.

I'm 3 days away from my job fair and now I decided to cancel it after realizing: YOU CAN NOT QUIT YOU DIDN'T REACH YOUR GOAL.

I wrestled with this idea for a half hour. I called my sister and we went over the ramifications and the truth is, if I don't finish what I started I will be a liar.

I have to set another date for the job fair and I have to start all over again. I have two interested businesses and I have to set the time to find more. This month was a slow start with me adjusting mentally and physically to this new beginning and lifestyle.

I can't even BEGIN to look for employment for myself until this job fair is a success.

I'm feeling like a failure a little bit but I'm trying to give myself some room to grow and make mistakes.

All kinds of things went wrong during this first month:

The post office never set up my PO Box so all the mail I SHOULD have received all month was sent back to the sender. When I gave the job fair venue my date and time I asked them to let me know if anything needed to be changed and they didn't so I began marketing this event and at the last minute I had to change the time which made my two businesses have to back out due to the time change. My first donor said she mailed me a check and I never got it which held me up from securing the venue. I began vending (asking for donations for the Homeless Voice newspaper) on the streets which wore me out physically and mentally as I transformed from website publisher to a street walker asking for donations.



My goodness! I am doing so much at once. Adjusting to a new lifestyle and trying to do something that no one can lead me through doing and I don't have much strength to be emotionless. I cry every single day.

I feel like crying right now.

I don't know what I'm doing and how long this will take and I miss my sons and I don't even know if this is something that will be good for anyone.

I am feeling the pain of not seeing my sons for a month.

I was all happy go lucky yesterday and now look.

I'll write more later when my spirits are up.

Everything is a good thing. I'm trying to remind myself.

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REBUILD: Hop In Your Car For A Dollar

Would it be too weird of me to say I'm gonna miss this place?

I know I'm supposed to show the horrors of homeless living but if you count the guy who farts all day or the stinch of stinky feet there's really no horror.

These people are weirdos, but so am I.

I fit in but I don't. None of us fit in but together we make sense.

I'm extremely horny. Everyone else is too.

If I don't get to see the man who "finds" clothes and tries to sell them for crack money, I feel sad. Everything he has is "brand new" and "only $2." I bought 3 pairs of pants for $2 one time. I'm wearing a pair right now.

Then there's an older lady who uses curse words that were outlawed in the biblical days. She "finds" prescription drugs and tries to sell them to everyone else.

There's a lady here who has 3 men fighting over her. "I don't know what to do, Tee," she said. I laughed and laughed. Her ex came one night and sat outside, crying and crying because she won't see him.

There's drama everyday and I wake up smiling to see what will happen next.

I've come to really like the people here even when I'm angry because I need affection so badly and I take it out on everybody by being a bitch.

"I hate you!" I'll announce to everyone and feel better after saying it. Until I get a real hug, I hate everyone.

Today was a rainy day out on the streets asking for donations for the paper. I still made good money because there were plenty of men out driving today and my shorts are so short it looks like I'm not wearing anything. My tanned and toned legs bring in the donations, even on a rainy day.

While I'm on the median and walking back and forth through traffic my mind is buzzing with all kinds of thoughts like:

What will my baby with Kanye look like?
How long will it take to get out of here?
Men are waving me over to their cars with $1 bills in their hands; I feel like a prostitute.

In fact, a man propositioned me today.

"Why don't you come with me to my house for a couple of hours," he suggested.

I laughed and called my Mom.

"Mama! I think I got my first offer for prostitution!"

"Ewww," she said. "How much?"

I laughed.

"Is that gonna be your next 'assignment'?" she asked.

"Mama! I told you I'm gonna be a dominatrix next!"

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EDITORIAL: Women Need Affordable Daycare To Pursue Education

By Erika Martin

Education Columnist

One of the things that I am grateful for while pursuing my high school diploma in my 30's is the fact that my kids are in school while I'm working with my assessor at the Vermont Adult Learning Center. I'm also grateful that I work for myself so my schedule is flexible and I can go to meetings and work on my schoolwork while my kids are at school. Not every mom has these luxuries though, and it can be difficult for them to make the time they need for higher learning.

Many women work outside the home, some are single moms and some have children that are too young to leave by themselves. There are many obstacles that mothers have to overcome and work around when pursuing a higher education, a diploma or a GED.

Many programs and colleges are built around the framework of reaching out to young people without children. While that's understandable, since most of those attending college are teenagers right out of high school, it puts mothers of young children at a disadvantage when trying to pursue a higher education. Mothers of young children need to find child care and a way to pay for it. They need to work around job schedules, as well.

Mothers that are pursuing a higher education or brushing up on skills that would help to get a promotion at work need to have better options for flexibility and child care. Some programs and colleges offer child care for free or a minimal cost but there are far too few of these types of programs out there. Those without child care options claim that funding is unavailable for staff to take care of these younger children and that leaves many mothers in a bind and there are many that put off or never pursue their education goals because of this.

In thinking about this, I propose a solution to this problem. Volunteer/intern-run child care could take much of the financial burden off of programs and colleges. There are high school students that are planning to go into early education, special education and child-related professions that could earn credits and experience by volunteering in a child-care center on campus so that mothers can pursue an education.

Many middle schools offer babysitting certification classes to students and being able to volunteer their time in a community college child-care center would give them additional experience and also looks great on a resume and college applications. Many students are looking for community service projects and volunteering in a center like this could fulfill requirements and credits needed. College students needing intern opportunities and credits could also volunteer. There are also older people in the community that love working with children that are looking for volunteer opportunities to fill up their days.

I realize that there are financial hurdles in running centers like these. Insurance and liability would need to be paid, some staff may need to be paid, etc. There are grants and private monies available that could be applied for. Local fund raisers and organizations that look to provide opportunities for mothers to get a higher education are also a way to access the needed funds. Of course, there are logistics behind this solution that would need to be worked out, but it can be done with the right planning and organization.


College Grants for Single Mothers lists seven major universities that offer student daycare services.

1. The University of North Florida In Jacksonville has daycare services for students located right on campus. This is also true of its Gainesville, Florida location.
2. All locations of the University of Wisconsin Madison, Milwaukee and River Falls offer on campus daycare.
3. The University of Southern California offers daycare services.
4. Harvard University now offers on campus day care for its Ivy League students.
5. University of Illinois Urbana-Champaign and the Chicago Campus
6. University of Georgia
7. Georgia State also offers daycare

Below are two programs that offer childcare grants:

The Minnesota State University Mankato offers a childcare grant

The University of North Florida has a grant program


There are many ways that we can make pursuing a higher education for women with children an accessible and less stressful endeavor but we need to pull together as a community to make this possible and offering child care is one way we can start.

About the columnist:

Erika Martin was withheld from attaining her high school diploma and a higher education due to living in a spiritually abusive upbringing. She is currently working towards attaining her high school diploma and plans to pursue a degree in Psychology after graduation this June. Erika will highlight relevant news and information that relates to education as well as chronicle her journey toward her diploma.

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Your World News Report - May 4, 2011

Berlyne Julmis

News Coordinator

Qaddafi Under Pressure

Saif al-Arab, son of Colonel Muammar Qaddafi, was killed during NATO’s air strike in Libya. Qaddafi has requested that NATO cease its fire yet NATO is refusing Qaddafi’s request providing attacks on civilians continue. Thousands attended the funeral of Qaddafi’s son and his three grandchildren who were also killed during the air strike--mourners vocalized their desire for revenge.

Recep Tayyip Erdogan, Turkey’s Prime Mister, is demanding that Qaddafi steps down from power. Prime Minister Erdogan was quoted in saying, “tears, bloodshed and autocracy” the Islamic world denounce violence. Qaddafi’s ministry, family, and associates Swiss accounts have been frozen.

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Flight 447 Voice Recorder Found

The cockpit voice recorder from Flight 447 from Rio de Janeiro, Brazil to Paris, France crashed on June 1, 2009 killing all 228 passengers has been recovered. Officials are hopeful that the voice recorder will help determine what happened on that dreadful day. The state of the recorder is unknown.

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Mexico Drug Lord Appears in Court

Notorious drug kingpin Benjamin Arellano Felix appeared in front of a judge eight years after his extradition from Mexican prison for pushing drug through an illegal ground tunnel into the US. Felix pleads not guilty for drug and racketeering charges--U.S. District Judge Burns ordered Felix to be held without bail.

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Floods Threatened Cairo

Army Corps blast Mississippi River levee during the night to help lower the level of the Mississippi and Ohio River that threatened to flood Cairo, Illinois. The Ohio River rose to 61.72 feet, but has since fallen more than a foot since the blast.

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Prince Charles Goes to Washington

Prince Charles will meet with President Obama nearly a week after his son Prince William married Kate Middleton. Prince Charles will travel to America in a private plane to help save British taxpayers money. President Obama and Prince Charles will meet in the Oval office to discuss various matters. During Prince Charles’s two day trip will visit US Supreme Court and city farm in an impoverished city in Washington, will meet with injured US servicemen and women, and a reception celebrating US and British events for troops.

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REBUILD: The World Is Your Bedroom

If you are a homeless person, you learn to get your rest when you can. That is why you see so many people sleeping on park benches or on bus stops or behind buildings.

You've already been at your lowest of lows, a little dirt doesn't scare you. You sleep peacefully in the most sound slumber ever and you're refreshed when you finally awake.

Fearless sleep on the surface of the earth. The entire world is your bedroom.

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REBUILD: You Are Too Pretty To Be Homeless

Tonight I was speaking with a very handsome young man who lives in the shelter. He shared the same sentiments about feeling at a loss when he hears the same comment I hear day after day as I ask for donations on the streets, "You are too pretty to be homeless."

He says that he experimented once and didn't cut his hair (hair cuts are donated free by barbers in training every week) or shave and he collected more money in donations.

He says because he takes care of himself and keeps a clean cut and appearance he has to explain himself more when he is taking donations.

While ALL of us are out there because we live in a homeless shelter and this is how we contribute to taking care of ourselves, for some reason, many people don't believe we are homeless if we are attractive.

What does being attractive have to do with anything?

Am I supposed to be living in luxury just because I have a cute face?

"But your hair, your eyes, your skin color, your body," one man said to me. "How could you be homeless? Why hasn't some man snatched you up?"

Hell if I know!

All I know is no man has ever taken care of me in the way I believe I deserve and maybe I wasn't meant to be taken care of in the first place.

"They tell me that I need to be a model," the handsome young man said. "How am I supposed to do that?"

I don't know.

I don't know why people tell me the same thing.

I'm not a model. I'm a journalist. A homeless journalist trying to make a way for myself.

I may be pretty, but that doesn't mean much in the grand scheme of things.

Obviously.

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REBUILD: Smoking Is An Activity For The Homeless

At the Homeless Voice Shelter, nearly everyone smokes cigarettes.

I planned to stop smoking once I became homeless but this homeless shelter is basically a giant ashtray. After observing I realized that most people smoke a pack of cigarettes a day because- it's something to do.

That's all.

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REBUILD: Blacks & Poor People Donate More Often

As I stand on the intersection across the various neighborhoods in Miami-Dade and Broward counties taking donations for the homeless shelter I was surprised to realize that Blacks and poor people are more likely to give.

I can see a Mercedes Benz or a Land Rover and the driver will not even look in my direction while the car with bald wheels and a busted bumper will empty out their ash trays to put something into my bucket.

As I speak with other vendors of the newspaper who also accept donations on street corners they say the same thing: Black people will give even if they don't seem to have much.

The ONE time that I worked in Kendall, a predominantly hispanic neighborhood, I did the WORST in collections. I figured it was because I am Black but when I spoke to the other vendors of other races they said the same thing: Black people give more.

As one white vendor told me, "Blacks give more because they understand the struggle."

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REBUILD: Most Homeless People Want To Be Homeless

There's a revolving door among the homeless population and today I had a chance to talk about it with a man who has been homeless and has been working as an advocate for the homeless for more than 10 years.

He said he didn't want to detract from my project but there is a side of homelessness that I will never know because I am not mentally ill or drug addicted. I told him that I know about that side from hearing stories but I will never know what addiction to substances is like because I have seen too many horror stories that I will not try those things.

"The point is," he said. "You chose to be in this situation so you don't have the pressure to escape through alcohol or drugs that most homeless people do."

No, I do not have that desire to self medicate like that. I am a leader. Leaders need to have a clear and sober mind.

The truth is, and my gentleman friend confirmed my suspicion, most people who are homeless WANT to be homeless.

There are resources available to those who have drive. Those who want to get out of this life get out, those who want to make it a lifestyle decide that this is how they want to live.

In thinking about REBUILDING MY LIFE, i have to consider what I am trying to rebuild it into. Everyday that I stand on the corner taking donations for the shelter I see hundreds of cars passing by and most people seem miserable as they drive to and from work and other obligations.

I'm standing there in the hot sun with a smile on my face and they seem angry with me for asking for donations when they are miserably making a living to take care of themselves and have shelter.

Do I want that?

No.

I am the type of person who chooses happiness over stability because I know that stability is an illusion. I hope to be able to experience luxury and financial freedom one day but I have to be sure to realize the peace of enlightenment that is discovered when you finally realize that happiness comes from within.

It isn't a car or a job or a mate or a group of friends. Happiness is a choice.

That is why even in this homeless shelter that I am living in, everyday I see people fall in love, get drunk, have fun, smile and argue just like everyone else.

If they desperately wanted to join the rat race for shelter, they would. If they had someone to lean on, they would. I believe that the people here would prefer to be more comfortable and if they could, they would, but they lack the drive to do more because their habits are more important to them.

How do you kick a habit that is seemingly destroying your life? From the addicts that I spoke with, they had to find something that was more important than their addiction. They had to find something that they valued more and they knew they could lose in order to finally let go of the drug or alcohol.

People are generally generous. There are entire organizations dedicated to helping those who seem to be less fortunate. When I spoke with the man today who had dedicated the better part of his life to helping the homeless i asked him, "Why do this when you know that most homeless people you meet don't really want to do things differently?"

"Out of 10 people who are homeless, there is ONE who may really want the help," he said. "I do it for them."

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Day 22: 3 Weeks In

During the 3 weeks that I've been here I've seen people come and go. Some have gone and had to come back. Some stop by just for the night.

There's a difference between the ones who have been here for years and the ones who are here in transition. The ones who are here in transition are a bit more annoyed by the policies and procedures that are set in place.

There are lots of rules here but if you understand them, then you understand why they are in place. There is a 14 day lock down for new clients which means for 14 days after you first register to stay here you are not allowed to leave the premises at all.

This is set in place so that police background checks can be done and these checks sometimes take up to 2 weeks. Many of the people here are sentenced to be here by the court. Regular drug and alcohol tests are done for drug rehab offenders. It doesn't stop them from doing their drug of choice but it does make them more aware of the state they are in when they come in each night. If anyone is found to be drunk or high they are dealt with in various ways, the most drastic is suspending them for a night. If someone is found to have drugs in their posession they must leave for several days.

Understand that this place is a last resort for most who come here. The only alternative is trying to find a hiding place on the streets.

Nearly everyone here has a good heart. No one has stolen from me yet. Everyone shares what they have. Families who have faced eviction come here. Mothers with children and mentally ill who have been abandoned by their families live here too.

Tonight two young black men came in and I didn't ask them why they are here. I made jokes with them and shared cigarettes with them to welcome them.

I'm finding that most people here, although they sometimes complain, really appreciate the opportunity to be here. A man I spoke with said that he did not know how he ended up here after a long life of working and having friends.

I feel grateful everyday, usually after I have my pity party about not being where I really want to be in life. I am grateful to know that there is a place that accepts those cast away by society. These people have no friends or family who are willing to take them in. They become each other's family.

And now, I am family too.

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Day 21: I'm Not A Superwoman

Today I sent out a new press release announcing the job fair which is less than a week away. I am not stressed anymore. I held down my end of the bargain. I can't help who decides to participate. I only have 3 businesses.

Now for the business of marketing and planning this event so that it looks professional. I'm using the money I raised and my own money from working.

My heart hearts tonight even though I had a good day. I'm longing for the same thing I always long for; a connection. A heart connection.

I just want ONE person I meet to understand me so I can stop feeling like an alien on this planet.

I'm surrounded by people yet, I feel so alone. Sometimes its like a big vacuum where I SEE people but I feel like I'm in a bubble.

That's kind of why I love working on a website so much. I get to inspire people from a distance. I get to help without being too involved or too judged for being who I am.

I love people. I believe people are good at their root but their fear of rejection and their lust for material things causes them to be mean and hurt others to scratch their way to the top.

I'm not like that. I don't believe in competition at all. In fact, if I meet someone and I feel like they are trying to compete with me, I let them win because I already know what it feels like to win.

I'm a winner by nature. I've been a winner all my life. Winning isn't that exciting to me anymore. I expect it and I get it. Others who NEED to win, they can have it. I'd much rather be understood and find a place where my talents and personality can be useful and appreciated. I've never experienced that.

So here I am in the middle of this experience of rebuilding my life and I'm kinda sad everyday but it's not a depressed sadness. I thought I would be sad because I have nothing but its the same kind of sadness I've always had. I've always been sad because I am never understood. No one "gets" me.

I'm NOT some strong superwoman just because I did this. I'm not average by a long shot but I'm not some super human. I just, know what failure looks like so I'm not generally afraid of it. I'm used to transitioning and starting over and being by myself with everything.

What does the opposite feel like? I'm not sure. I've never fit in. I had to be hustled and struggle to learn the lessons I have learned in life. I feel stupid everyday because I am kind of naive. I believe the best in people so I trust their words unless I feel a bad vibe then I stay away.

Right now I'm sitting on the patio and there are at least 30 other people out here. Everyone is lounging and watching TV and laughing and enjoying each other and here I am, writing and trying to plan out my next step to make this job fair a success.

Last night I had a dream that I was rich. I was driving a really nice car and I had long hair that was STRAIGHT and dark.

I think I'm going to take a break from writing tonight to just- do nothing at all.

I'm tired.

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EDITORIAL: With bin Laden Gone, Our Biggest Threat Is Debt

By Christina Fermin

Politics & Society Columnist

As of Sunday May 1, 2011, President Barack Obama broke the news to the American people that al Qaida’s mastermind Osama Bin Laden had been killed in a firefight where United States special forces were instructed to kill Bin Laden. Osama Bin Laden was buried out to sea early Monday morning according to Islamic law which calls for a speedy burial, because apparently there was not a single country willing to bury the body on land.

A day of reckoning for the families that lost their loved ones in the September 11, 2001 terrorist attacks, or are there just more questions left on people’s minds? There is no doubt that many people, American’s and muslims alike, wanted him dead. Osama Bin Laden was a terrorist and admitted to killing many people, his actions against innocent peaceful people were a justification for his death; what will be the fate of his organization al Qaida?

Now that Osama Bin Laden is dead our main objective for war has been completed, in the coming days will we begin to see the end of the wars taking place? With al Qaida’s mastermind dead, we should begin to see the disintegration of his organization. The biggest threat to the United States of America has been eliminated, war must end! Only in the end of the wars will we begin to recover from this depression that has effected so many people.

We must take this opportunity to pressure our elected officials, including President Obama to end the wars and bring home our troops because Osama Bin Laden is dead. Despite the news of Osama Bin Laden’s death, we must not forget the problems that plague our country and we must not lose sight of those who are responsible. Our biggest threat is the debt our country has and the continuing of expensive war which will rob us all of everything if we do not hold the feet to the fire and start creating solutions to our problems.

Peace & Joy,

Christina

About the Columnist

With a bachelors degree in political science from Florida Atlantic University, Christina Fermin has always cultivated her love for history, politics, sociology, ancient knowledge and teachings, the outdoors, the ocean and the environment. Christina strives to make our world better by helping us all create a new reality and understanding of all taking place here and now.

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EDITORIAL: Taking Back America, One Local Economy at a Time

By Christina Fermin

Politics & Society Columnist

The economy is looking grim as the value of the dollar continues to fall and unemployment remains stagnant. The only growth in employment is in the service sector area which are usually low wage jobs. With the future of the united States of America uncertain and the future of the economy looking grim, we must begin to focus locally. Building local decentralized economies will save communities from the turbulent days that lay ahead.

Building a local economy and focusing locally will assistant yourself and your community through these tumultuous times. As unemployment benefits end, food prices soar, gas prices soar and the future of our country is unknown, pulling together and localizing will help one another cope and survive. Before globalization, the centralization of the economy, politics and banking our country did very well. When things were decentralized communities and people flourished.

Focusing locally is good for our environment, lowers our carbon footprint, makes us less reliant on vehicles, diversifies the economy, allows for variety, employment opportunities, quality of life, safer neighborhoods and self-sufficiency. Becoming self-sufficient is one of the most important markers we as a civilization must meet if we are to continue as a species. As the planet goes through catastrophic changes which are altering landscapes and coasts we are going to realize even more how devastating it is to rely on goods that come from far away places.

Food prices are rising and hunger is the primary cause of death in many developing nations, it makes sense to begin a community garden and/or start our own small gardens. As gas prices begin to rise many people seek an alternative such as car pooling, biking or public transportation, but as budget cuts start hitting local cities, towns and communities having a strong local economy will allow accessing goods more easily even if you have to walk. As the local economy begins to grow it will help diversify the economy and business’ will begin hiring.

We are advancing into a more technologically advanced society with technology meeting the demands people once did. With this new “free time” we can concentrate locally and within, allowing for a more harmonious, synchronistic society. As we concentrate locally we begin to gain the power back from big business and large corporations, defeating the elite stronghold one city, one town, one community at a time. Why are we giving our economy away to China or multinational corporations? Focusing locally will take that power away from other interests and place it into the hands of the people.

So what can you do? It begins with you, so take part in your local elections, town hall meetings and make your voice heard. Start a community garden or start purchasing from one that is in your area, search here http://www.communitygarden.org/. Start purchasing your furniture and clothing and other goods from local stores, thrift stores and yard sales. Start a local community reporting blog, aim for sustainable and self-sufficiency. As the united States of America plunges into more debt, inflation begins and unemployment rises focusing locally will assist you and your neighbors meet the demands and needs while the Federal government, Wallstreet and global economies play out the drama they have created. Change comes from the bottom up, we have seen the damage of top down leadership and it does not work.

Peace & Harmony,

Christina

About the Columnist

With a bachelors degree in political science from Florida Atlantic University, Christina Fermin has always cultivated her love for history, politics, sociology, ancient knowledge and teachings, the outdoors, the ocean and the environment. Christina strives to make our world better by helping us all create a new reality and understanding of all taking place here and now.

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Osama Bin Laden Is Dead

By Berlyne Julmis
News Coordinator

Osama Bin Laden has been killed by US hands--President Obama addresses the nation tonight telling the world that U.S. Special Forces have killed one of Al-Qaida’s notorious leaders in Pakistan. Nearly a decade after that horrendous morning on September 11, US specials forces has confirmed that they now have the body of Osama Bin Laden. President Obama said “his death does not mark the end of our effort… We must – and we will - remain vigilant at home and abroad.”

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