Te-Erika's Blog: I'm Not Really A Hero

Someone called me a hero today.

It caused me to have a panic attack. I think that one of the reasons why I share so much about my personal life and thoughts is the fact that I hear so many compliments from people about my talent and my personality that- I try to show them who I really am, because I wonder if they'll still like me if they got to know me.

Pretty people ain't got it easy. LOL Don't shoot me, but I know I'm beautiful by society's standards. The thing is, I hear so many fake compliments that I don't believe them anymore.

Why lie?

I don't know. Of all the work I do creating things to inspire women and shake them out of their self imposed limitations, I still have some limitations that I am quite comfortable with. Love, for example, I won't allow anyone to love me.

I do everything in my power not to make an emotional connection with people, romantic or platonic. I don't welcome new people into my personal life. I don't make new friends. I only have one night stands with strange men so that I won't risk falling in love. Hey, you can't fall in love with someone when you don't remember their name the next day.

So that's where this declaration that I am a 'hero' comes into question. I had to take a break from the internet after I read it. I'm not a damn hero, I just don't give a damn anymore.

Talk shit about me. Ostracize me. Tell me No. Fight me. Jail me. Kill me. I'm not afraid of death.

I believe there are certain people who are here to make a difference. Through years of studying other people who have achieved what I have not been able to, on a wide scale basis, I have learned so much about the mentality of success. I now have it, yet I don't really want the admiration that comes with it because there's so much more that I can do and be.

It feels creepy because I still view myself as a failure in most ways. To me, I'm still trying to make it so reading so many letters of admiration makes me feel like I'm lieing to people or that they see something that isn't true so I share even more of the REAL ME but the letters keep coming.

I am not perfect.
I am not someone to admire.
I have not done the things I'd really like to do in this world.

I would love to be able to run a company that aids women. Wait, I already incorporated it.
I would love to help elevate women in their platforms. Wait, I created a platform to celebrate them.
I would love to eat all the foods I want without cooking it myself. Not there yet.

I have so many hopes. I wonder at what point will I believe that I will have 'made it'. Is it when I'm featured on the cover of a magazine? Will it be when I receive my first million dollar grant? Will it be when I hire my 100th employee? Will it be when I fling open the doors of my fabulous new home and my sons run in to see it and find their rooms? Will it be when Oprah calls me for advice? Will it be when Kanye West asks me to marry him?

I don't know.

I'm not a hero. I'm just a woman who isn't afraid to fail anymore, to look foolish or to be told No.

You know what? Fearlessness combined with my diabolical intellect is a very dangerous combination kinda like- dynamite.

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Activist Gathers 23,000 Signatures Against Prison Privatization

TAMPA, Fla., Feb. 3, 2012 /PRNewswire-USNewswire/ -- A Florida Department of Corrections activist took it upon herself to circulate an anti-prison privatization petition and gathered more than 23,000 signatures in just five days.

Christina Bullins, a Miami probation officer supervisor, started the petition Sunday using signon.org. Just 48 hours later, 10,000 people signed. As of today, more than 23,170 people have signed the petition.

"I'm beyond thrilled – and both honored and humbled at the same time – to have done this," Bullins said. "It just shows that Florida citizens are extremely worried about the dangers of private prisons and the devastating impact it will have on thousands of corrections officers."

The petition said the privatization plan "will compromise public safety, cause unemployment, and hurt communities and small businesses across Florida."

In a letter asking people to sign the petition, Bullins wrote, "Did you know that private prisons do not chase escaped inmates past the perimeter like the public prisons do, which means more escaped prisoners in our communities? And private prison corporations have often failed to live up to legal requirements in the past. This bill will just make the problem worse."

Bullins is a member of Teamsters Local 2011, which represents Florida Department of Corrections Officers. FDOC officers from every region in the state came to Tallahassee daily for the past two weeks to lobby against the prison privatization bill. Bullins testified against the bill before the Senate Rules Committee on Jan. 18.

Bullins said she hopes to come to Tallahassee again to deliver the signatures in person to the Senate leadership.

For more information, visit http://fdocteamsters.org.

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EDITORIAL: Unfair Immigration Practices Used As Cover Up For More Pressing Issues

By Christina Fermin
Society & Politics Columnist

The subject of immigration seems to hit a nerve with folks that I do not quite understand. Maybe it’s because I come from a family of immigrants or maybe it’s because I see things differently, but one thing I know is that this country was founded by immigrants, this country’s economy works off the backs of those immigrants and I believe our recent treatment of illegal immigrants to be very unfair.

If you really sit down to think about it, everyone in this country (except for the Native American Indians) are descendants of immigrants. Many of our traditions, favorite foods and American pass-times were passed down as traditions from immigrants. It is the work, sweat and blood of immigrant families that have made this country so great.

The biggest lie that I see come from politicians and the mainstream media outlets is that illegal immigrants are the reason for our economic depression. This premise is rubbish. The main reason for the 21st Century Great Depression is because of bad economic policies, corruption to the highest levels of government and greed. Beginning with past President George W. Bush and now President Barack Obama, illegal immigrants are being sent home in record numbers on the premise that they are stealing American jobs and are criminals. Many of these immigrants are leaving behind families, businesses and friends. What’s even more devastating is that there are many illegal immigrants being sent over to a country they may have been born in, but share no ties with. Forced to settle in an unfamiliar place with an unfamiliar language and/or culture with no immediate family, friends or connections.

There are many who would like you to believe that illegal immigrants are using our resources, taxes and taking our jobs. This is not the case. Many of these people use very little resources and contribute to taxes without ever taking out because they cannot since they do not have a social security number. Illegal immigrants work jobs that American workers do not want or they open up their own businesses, usually serving the needs of their communities. Many of these immigrants are serving in the armed services and fighting for a government and people who ostracize their families or culture. So why is it that these people are being treated so horribly? I believe it is to detract from the real problems we face as a nation. These debates are used to keep Americans from seeing the real issues and real problems that are bigger and more disastrous than illegal immigration.

Immigrants, especially illegal immigrants are being used as a scapegoat. Plain and simple, we are expelling entire cultures for being different when they mean no harm and are here to create better lives for themselves and their families. Because of bad American policies towards Central and South America that will not allow those people to have the opportunities they have here, immigrants come to America to live the dream. Instead of pointing the finger towards immigrants, how about we take a look at some of America’s foreign policy issues or the fact that the richest people in this country pay less (or no) taxes than the poor or the fact that lobbying and citizens united, the supreme court case that allows corporations and unions to donate a limitless supply of cash to political causes, has poisoned our politics and created a cesspool for corruption or the fact that our civil liberties are in severe jeopardy, especially with the recent passage of the National Defense Authorization Act, which allows the government to detain American citizens indefinitely for merely "suspecting" they are a terrorist.

While some of these issues have been looked at, they have not been examined in detail. They are not the center of Presidential debates or the headline for the President’s State of the Union address. When you ask average people about these sorts of issues their knowledge is usually shallow or mirroring that of which was said in the news. The mainstream news media outlets are tools of propaganda used by the people in power, twisting facts and telling half truths. Soundbites of what we are ‘allowed’ to know are used as an instrument of fear to blacklist a group or culture so that we fear the ‘other’ and grow to have biases against them even though the government was instituted to protect those who do not have a voice, the little guy, the immigrants and minorities of this country.

James Madison once said: “If Tyranny and Oppression come to this land, it will be in the guise of fighting a foreign enemy.” We have seen this with the governments bias towards Muslims after the 9/11 attacks and we see this now as we blame our economic woes against Mexicans and other foreign ‘intruders.’ Realize we are to blame for our current systematic failures and no one else. You need to just look at a mirror and decide it’s time to do right.

Foreigners have always been an important component of American society and accepting them into America has always been our greatest quality. It is time we pave a path for those immigrants that have been here for years and re-examine our policies in allowing immigrants to come here to live, work or play. We should strive to keep families together instead of ripping them apart. Isn’t that the Republican mantra?

Family. Do something, be somebody and help change the world!



About the Columnist
With a bachelors degree in political science from Florida Atlantic University, Christina Fermin has always cultivated her love for history, politics, sociology, ancient knowledge and teachings, the outdoors, the ocean and the environment. Christina strives to make our world better by helping us all create a new reality and understanding of all taking place here and now. You can reach her at Christina@MySavvySisters.Com

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Men Are Sensitive- A Match.Com Study Reveals

According to a study published today by Match.Com, men appear to be more sensitive concerning issues of love and romance than women.

Here is an excerpt from the results:

Men fall in love just as often as women do and are more likely to experience love at first sight. By age 30, 58% of men who say they have been in love and believe in love at first sight have experienced it, compared to 51% of women.

PDA approved? Men are more likely to show their love and affection in public. 41% of men would be very comfortable kissing in public, versus 31% of women.

Men are more willing to make a commitment either without being in love or without feeling sexually attracted to their partner. Men are more likely than women to be willing to make a commitment to someone who has everything they are looking for in a partner, but whom they are not in love with (31% of men and 23% of women) and willing to make a commitment to someone who has everything they are looking for in a partner but whom they don't find sexually attractive (26% of men and 22% of women).

Men find loneliness just as stressful as women do. 31% of men and 33% of women report that they find loneliness to be "very stressful" or "somewhat stressful." And men are more likely to report that loneliness is a challenging aspect of being single (27% of men and 22% of women).

Men admire working women. Close to half (45%) of all men are turned off by a woman who "doesn't care about her career."

When it comes to cohabitation, men want to commit sooner than women. Contrary to popular belief, when dating a new partner, 46% of men and 26% of women would expect to move in together before they'd been dating someone for less than a year.

Men are far more concerned about their weight than their height. 55% of straight men and 63% of gay men are more concerned with their weight than their height (6% of straight men and 3% of gay men).

To read more visit Match.Com.

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Birth Control Pills Recalled in The US

The pharmaceutical company Pfizer has recalled ONE MILLION birth control pills that it says is not the correct dosage to safely prohibit unintended pregnancies.

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Poll Results: How Often Do You Have Sex?

MySavvySisters.Com posted a poll that asked its readers to answer the question: How Often Do You Have Sex?

Of the women who responded:

25% answered - Never, I'm a virgin
12% answered - A few times a month
62% answered- I'm in a drought

Analysis- My Savvy Sisters aren't getting any action. What is really going on?!!

Our readers are typically between the ages of 25-45. Are there really virgins left in this age group?

Do these results shock you?

Tell me why or why not in the comments.

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From The Publisher: Suicide Is Not The Gateway To Hell

Dear Readers,

This week the entertainment community at large mourned the death of famed Soul Train host, Don Cornelius.

Cornelius, who was the visionary that brought soul to mainstream television through his widely watched dance show that first aired in 1970 was found dead in his home of a self inflicted gunshot wound. Cornelius was 75.

While the mere passing of any iconic figure is enough to spread massive mourning, the manner in which he died overshadowed the fact that he is no longer with us. Bloggers and commenters alike debated over whether we should mourn him or scorn him for taking his own life.

He's going to hell.

He sinned the biggest sin.

The truth is, this man was 75 years old and his decision to end his own life is his personal choice. He's not going to hell because hell does not exist in an afterlife. Hell is living a life in fear of going to hell. Hell is believing that you can not have the life you envision and allowing others to dictate your life choices. Hell is dismissing the value of your current life in favor of an afterlife that someone you love described to you.

No, I am not an advocate for suicide. I do not believe that anyone should end their life because they believe they have no other options for a bright future, however, at 75, I think he has the right to say, "I'm done with this. I am good."

I do my best to help others to create heaven on earth. I hope they understand that there is a better life waiting for them if they stop pressuring themselves to achieve versions of success that are not dictated by their own desires. I want to help stop the madness of depression that plagued me for so many years because I had not achieved 'success' like so many others expected of me.

I do all of this work to help ease wounded souls, but I do believe at a certain point, no amount of motivation can help you to value this life experience. If your extreme desire is to be done with this, so be it. I can not hold you back, hold you up or condemn you for it.

I'm still here, moving and shaking and there are plenty others who are doing the same. For those of you who want to live life abundantly and without limits, I ask you to join me in creating a super adventure out of your life.

Let's have as much fun as we can. Let's become so focused on enjoying our personal version of heaven on earth that we don't have time to judge others. Focus on you and transforming your life into the life of your dreams while allowing those around you to do the same.

All My Best!

Te-Erika

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The 2012 My Savvy Sister of the Year

The readers of MySavvySisters.Com were asked to select a representative from among the women honored as My Savvy Sister of The Week during our last fiscal year. The women honored ranged from New York Times best selling authors to women's advocates, entrepreneurs and television stars.

The readers selected Sikivu Hutchinson as the very first winner of My Savvy Sister of the Year.

Sikivu lives in Los Angeles, California and is the Senior Intergroup Specialist of the L.A. County Human Relations Commission.

She is the author of Moral Combat: Black Atheists, Gender Politics, and the Values Wars. She founded the Women’s Leadership Project (WLP), a South L.A.-based feminist mentoring and social justice advocacy program for high school girls of color. The WLP trains young women to advocate for gender justice in their school-communities around anti-violence, reproductive justice, media representation, undocumented student rights, college access and LGBTQ rights. To learn more about her work, visit her

As our 2012 honoree, Sikivu will join the board of directors of My Savvy Sisters, Inc. our non-profit organization whose mission is to provide the resources, information and inspiration women need to survive and thrive.

Sikivu’s message of renewal and awakening will be promoted during her time as the 2012 My Savvy Sister of the Year as we stand behind her efforts to uplift women everywhere.

The 2012

My Savvy Sister of the Year

Award Recipient

Sikivu Hutchinson

Congratulations Sikivu!

We are honored to have you represent us!

To learn more about her work, visit her MSS profile.

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Smart Advice For Sad Love Songs By Women

Music is a ministry in itself. The lyrics you hear in your favorite songs speak to your soul, imbedding themselves in your psyche. For some reason, popular songs about begging for love strikes a chord in your heart which allows this scenario to play out over and over again in your lives because you think if its in a song, its acceptable to feel this way.

It's not.

Here is Part 1 of Smart Advice For Sad Love Songs By Women.






THE ARTIST: Mary J. Blige
THE SONG: I'm Going Down



THE LYRICS:

Why'd you have to say goodbye
Look what you done to me
I can't stop these tears from fallin from my eyes
I'm going down
Since you ain't around
My whole world's upside down

ADVICE: There are 6 billion people on the planet. Get your ass up and get over it.


THE ARTIST: Mariah Carey
THE SONG: We Belong Together



THE LYRICS:

I'm feeling all out of my element
Crying, Throwing Things
Trying To Figure Out
Where the hell I went wrong

ADVICE: Buy a new pair of shoes, set a goal for yourself and stop breaking your own stuff. That's not too smart, hon.


THE ARTIST: Tracey Chapman
THE SONG: Gimme One Reason to Stay Here




THE LYRICS:
Gimme one reason to stay here
And I'll turn right back around
Gimme one reason to stay here
And I'll turn right back around
Said I don't wanna leave you lonely
You gotta make me change my mind

ADVICE: You are begging him to convince you to stay. Really? Just go back to him already.


THE ARTIST: Etta James
THE SONG: I'd Rather Go Blind



THE LYRICS:

Something told me it was over
When I saw you and her talking
Something deep down in my soul said cry girl
When I saw you and that girl walking round
I would rather go blind boy
Than to see you walk away from me child

ADVICE: You'd rather go blind? That's pitiful. Better take a lesson from Beyonce because you can really have another him in a minute.


THE ARTIST: Whitney Houston
THE SONG: I Have Nothing



THE LYRICS:

Don't make me close one more door
I don't want to have to hurt anymore
Stay in my arms if you dare
Or must I imagine you there
Don't walk away from me
I have nothing
If I don't have you

ADVICE: You have nothing? Young lady, you have a lot. You have health, beauty and free will. Or just go ahead and have an imaginary relationship but please, STOP BEGGING HIM NOT TO WALK AWAY FROM YOU!

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Why You Should Give Up On Life

For some people their best efforts don't seem to be worth much. They've been trying and trying and can't seem to make anything work no matter how much they give.

At this point they may simply feel like giving up on life and that's okay. Give up. Give up trying to go in the direction that you were going in.

Start a new life.

Here's how.

What is it that you secretly wish you could do that you would never even admit to anyone that you were dreaming of?

This is your new direction.

It doesn't matter if you believe you are capable or equipped. All that matters is the fact that you have a strong desire burning in your heart that won't go away.

Go ahead, give up on the life you were living that has been causing you misery and create the REAL LIFE you deserve.

You can have it.

Take a risk. You have absolutely nothing to lose. In fact, this moment has arrived as a gift to you. This is your chance. This is your new beginning. You know what you have to do.

Go get it!

When you have hit rock bottom and you can't see any way out.

When you can't find a solution and you have nothing but doubts.

Here's my solution, I hope you'll understand

That's it's okay to give it all up

And start over again.

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