Say YES: I Was Invited To A Fetish Party

Yeah so, on Day 1 of the Say YES Challenge I reveal that I was invited to a fetish party.



It's all good. In my mind, I'll go find something to wear and go to this party, meet a guy who likes to get his ass whooped for fun and have ME some fun whoopin his ass! No sex. No condoms. No strings, just me letting out my aggression. Cool?

But when I reach the store and walk in, shit gets kind of real as I am shown a slideshow of pictures from the last party and that shit was kind of freaky and those girls had perfect bodies and I'm wondering what the hell I could wear to a freak party because I don't have a body like that.

So my anxiety started acting up and I became nervous about it for the first time. I imagined that people would try to talk to me and it scared me because, well, people ALWAYS try to talk to me, especially couples. Couples love to invite me home with them- maybe I look like I'm down. Well, I kind of am. I mean, if I'm in the mood. Well, ok, I'll do it, but I have to be comfortable.

I hate that I experience social anxiety. As a counselor, I'd say the root of social anxiety is worrying about what other people will think of you. Do I worry about that? Well, not really, but yeah. It's just, my looks. People are attracted to me because of how I look and they want to get to know me but my looks and my personality don't match- I don't think.

So I feel like they are always disappointed. I don't even think I'm that cute. I know I'm cute but not jaw dropping cute. Sometimes I think it's my energy that people are attracted to because with this gut, I don't see how anyone calls me sexy.

It's my energy. It attracts so many different people. They say I ooze sexual tension, but I'm not trying, I think they're just horny.

I don't want to have sex. Right now, I don't like the feeling of a man touching me. It feels wrong. I don't like to think about spending time with a man alone- it feels like a bad decision. I don't like the thought of touching a woman without loving her, it feels disrespectful. I don't want anyone to notice me and become attracted to me.

Why am I going to this party?

Oh yeah, cuz this is The Say YES Challenge. ~rolls eyes~

Oh god. I can't believe I'm gonna spend money on this party and a costume just to stand in the corner and not talk to anybody.

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Say YES Challenge: Day 1 Exercise - Fear of Surprises

Today is the first day of a life changing month for you. Get excited! This month you'll learn why it's important to follow the path that life lays out for you. You'll also learn how to step outside of your comfort zone to embrace your life's greatest adventures.

Today I want you to take a moment to think about the reasons why you become frustrated by life's surprises. You may become frustrated because:

1. Things happen that you feel you have no control over.
2. You are afraid that unexpected situations can only cause bad feelings.
3. You are so focused on your goals that any delays or hinderences cause you to feel like you will never reach your mark.
4. You know how to handle your life as it is and any changes that come you may not be able to adjust to.

As we take a look at the list mentioned above we can see that the main factor why we feel we can't handle life's surprises is the fact that we are afraid. Why are we afraid of life? Are we afraid because we do we not believe that we deserve good things? Why aren't all surprises seen as happy surprises?

In today's exercise I want to shake things up a bit. I want you to list a major event in your life that caused you to be sad.

1. After taking a risk and chasing my dream of becoming a professional writer, I changed jobs and worked for a PR Firm. After two months I was fired and spent 3 months trying to stay afloat financially. I was majorly depressed.


Now I want you to list 1 event or situation that was an after affect of the situation you mentioned that caused you to be happy.

2. As a result of my losing my job, I was invited to move to a new city where it only took 2 days before I found my very first position as a professional writer at a national magazine which jump-started my journalism career.

Do you now see how losing one thing led to finding exactly what I had been dreaming of? It will be the same for you this month. No matter what happens to you this month, I want you to Say YES.

If you are afraid of the end result or you're fearful that you could end up losing everything, I've already created a step by step guide to overcoming your fear of failure. It's called The Rebuild Your Life Project. I became homeless on purpose to show you what homelessness looks and feels like and how you can rebuild your life if you happen to lose everything. I've shown you your worst fear so you won't have to fear it again.

You can watch the videos of my day by day journey on our youtube channel, Embrace Your Fantasy. Now that I've done that, you should not have any worries.

The best thing you can do to prepare for The Say YES Challenge is to start to think about what you'd like your life to be like. Say a prayer that everything that is presented to you this month will push you toward your goals. Trust that nothing can keep you away from the highest ideals that come from the desires of your heart and be OPEN to creative ways to realize your dreams.

1, 2, 3...

This month looks like magic to me!

Leave a comment below to let us know you're participating and what you are hoping for. Remember to check back everyday for more exercises and inspiring messages as we Say YES to life!

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Your World News Report - September 1, 2011

Hopeless Job Seekers Flee Portugal in Droves Portugal seems to be losing its youth as unemployed professionals migrate to Brazil and Angola due to lack of employment opportunities.

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Prosecutors Request Extension For the Detainment of Man in Missing Woman's Case

Gary V. Giordano will continue to be detained at the request of prosecutors as they try to strengthen their case against him. Giordano has been in custody for nearly a month after he reported that his travel companion Robyn Gardner disappeared while they were snorkeling off the southern tip of Aruba.

Prosecutors are considering a range of possible charges, including murder, manslaughter, accidental death and insurance fraud.

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Department of Justice Hopes To Halt At&T- T-Mobile Merger

The United States Department of Justice hopes to halt a merger between AT&T and T-Mobile claiming that such a venture would reduce market wireless competition. An official announcement made in March stated that AT&T has offered T-Mobile $39 Billion to buy out the company. The Department of Justice believes this buy out will drive wireless prices higher as these two companies make up half of the 4 major wireless carriers in the U.S.

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Malaysia’s First Openly Gay Pastor To Wed on Independence Day

Barely a month after same sex marriage becomes legalized in Malaysia, it’s first openly gay pastor, Rev. Boon Lin Ngeo will marry his partner Phineas Newborn III, 47, a Broadway producer.

The couple has planned for a New York City Hall wedding for their nuptials and plan to celebrate again next year in Chinese-Malaysian tradition.

Malaysia is a predominantly Muslim nation which prosecutes sodomy and “carnal intercourse against the order of nature”.

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Poll Results: Do You Truly Love Yourself?

MySavvySisters.Com posted a poll that asked its readers to answer the question: Do you truly love yourself?

Of the women who responded:

20% answered YES
40% answered NO
40% answered NOT SURE

Analysis- What does this indicate about the mental state of women who read our online magazine?

The women who read our magazine are in need of a good dose of self love. We are women who strive to create our best lives but somewhere along the line we seem to have forgotten how to love ourselves as is, that is, if we ever knew how.

What does it take to learn to love yourself? The process begins with self acceptance. The only true way to learn to accept yourself 'as is' is to make peace with who and where you are. This is a task that is not easily undertaken as we attempt to battle the daily images from the media and consistent messages that try to show us that we are not good enough as we are.

Fix this. Look like this. Make yourself better by buying this.

These are all messages that we see that make us compare ourselves to the flawless images and people who adorn the advertisements. We must understand that in every call to action to be "better" there is an underlying message: BUY THIS.

The people who create the campaigns that ultimately make us feel badly about where we are and who we are, create those images to try to SELL US A PRODUCT. We do not need these things yet they try to convince us that we would feel better if we drove a more expensive car or we hired this particular dating coach. We have created a social system that thrives on celebrating the abnormal. Yes, those size 2 women with perfect teeth and hair were manufactured to make us feel less than.

No one can set an ideal goal for your life. No one can tell you that you are not up to par. Do not waste your life striving for an ideal that some magazine art director put together based on the company that hired him to sell a product.

Who are you? No, who are you really?

You are not the attainment of your goals. Your life worth is not measured by your ability to sustain a romantic relationship?

Why don't you love yourself? I know, it's because you are not where you want to be in life. But the reality is, you are alive and you're still afloat. I have witnessed personally the tragic mentalities of those who have given up on life. You are not one of those women. You are an awesome creation right where you sit.

You are amazing because...you ARE.

Your ~BEING~ keeps you among the best of the best. the fact that your ancestors survived thousands of years of the world's most horrific tragedies demonstrates that you are among the most brilliant of survivors.

You don't have to be GREAT. You don't have to win awards. You don't have to be the woman with the biggest house on the block. You are valuable because you were given the gift of life and you haven't given up on it yet.

In order to love yourself more it is important that you rid yourself of everyone else's ideals of who you should be and where you should be by this point in your life.

I am not a woman who has it all together. In fact, just last week, a mean spirited person said to me, "I'm better than you at life." This statement didn't hurt me, it simply let me know that I'm doing something right where someone would have the time and audacity to compare themselves to me. When anyone compares themselves to you, ESPECIALLY if you are unfavorable in comparison, it really means that they believe that you are better than they are, otherwise they would not stop to make the comparison.

Give yourself a break this week. Let the things you call flaws hang out. Go outside without a bra on. Sing as loudly as you can in your most off key tone. Don't wear make up one day.

So what?

Who is your judge? Have you won an award lately for trying to keep up with the neighbors? Do you receive ANYTHING for your efforts to be better than the women featured in magazines?

I have been called beautiful my entire life and I get nothing but free drinks at the bar- does that really mean anything?

I am nothing special and I'm happy with that. I don't have to live up to the pressure of maintaining the number one spot. I don't have to fit into a size 6 dress. I don't have to worry about my partner finding someone better because I'm single and I am free to do what I want.

I have a job that I enjoy and I am free to learn, spend time with my sons and work on the things I am passionate about. I am rich in all the ways that most "successful" people are not and that is simply because I live my life for ME and I'm happy with all the ways I made mistakes and all the ways I triumphed.

You can be happy too. Don't you want to be? Stop beating yourself up because your life isn't perfect. It's not supposed to be like that. You're not a robot. You're not a clone. You are an individual and you can walk into life's surprises with the expectation that you are walking into the next unique part of your distinct journey.

You are so special. You are so wonderful. You are such a gift to this earth. Love yourself for ~BEING~ and for being able to smile and contribute what you can. Self love is easy when you throw self condemnation out the window.

Forgive yourself.

Live.

Make mistakes.

Shrug.

Laugh.

Take risks again.

Relax.

Smile.

You always get chance to try again and if you don't get it right then, oh well, try something else.

Life isn't a test, it's an adventure.

Salud.

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REVIEW: The Civilization Of Maxwell Bright (2005)

The Civilization of Maxwell Bright, a 2005 romance film starring Patrick Warburton and Marie Matiko is a brilliant film that celebrates the woman who is complete within herself.

Patrick Wilburn stars as Maxwell Bright who on the surface seems to be a male chauvinist. He has had no luck in the romantic department so he decides to look overseas to find a mail order bride. Marie Matinko portrays the lovely Mai Linn who is sent to wed Maxwell.

The untrained eye might find this film offensive due to its opening scenes with glaring full frontal nudity and coarse language but the most insightful audience members will catch a glimpse of a rare life transformation as Mai Linn dutifully cares for a man who is hurting so much that he can only lash out in anger, yet has a gentle side that allows us to see him as he truly is, vulnerable, caring and in search of peace.

We can all learn from Mai Linn- the dutiful wife because she personifies poise as she stands beside Maxwell during the most troubling time in his life, guiding him toward inner peace through her interactions with him instead of harsh words.

There were several scenes in the movie where Maxwell's actions would bring any woman to tears yet Mai Linn was never shaken by any of Maxwell's antics, instead centering herself on her duty as a wife and healer. She could have taken his harsh jokes offensively but I could tell that she sees no enemies in life so she was able to laugh at and become a partner in his crude humor. She could have been deeply offended by his lack of respect for her spiritual beliefs but instead she knew that she owned her own beliefs and did not demand that he respect them at all. His pejorative language was simply shielding his own pain and lack of faith in love and she saw through that, never nagging him and insisting that he change, but simply seeking to understand him and offer her own positive energy to their marital exchange. Her energy overpowered his in the end and led to his blissful reunion with himself.

We can learn a lot from watching this movie as Maxwell undergoes his spiritual and physical transformation, the most important being that our duty as a wife is to partner with our husband in a dual quest for enlightenment - complete peace with 'what is'.

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Fertility & Yoga: How Ancient Healing Methods Can Help You Get Pregnant

/PRNewswire/ -- More and more women are combining medical fertility treatments with holistic therapies, but do they help?

As they have gained acceptance both in the popular culture and in the medical community, natural healing remedies such as acupuncture and yoga have become supplemental fertility treatments. This makes sense because some infertility issues are lifestyle-related while others are biological. You too can take advantage of these natural fertility boosters.

Why Yoga?

Tending to your sense of well-being is an important consideration as you set out to conceive, and any stretching or meditation practice that relaxes your body and lowers your stress level will help your body to be healthy.

Yoga is one way to reduce stress, according to the Mayo Clinic. Other natural therapies, such as fertility acupuncture, also boost your chances of conception considerably. Yoga, when compared with other treatments like acupuncture, is both inexpensive and practical - a healthy yoga routine can be done almost anywhere.

How Yoga Helps

Yoga devotees rave about the rewards of a regular yoga practice, and the evidence to support their enthusiasm is mounting. While the strength and flexibility gained from fertility yoga present obvious advantages in giving birth and recovering from pregnancy, yoga's positive effects begin long before conception. The relaxation and improved circulation that result from a few sessions each week serve to regulate the menstrual cycle. More than that, yoga poses designed to open up the hips may align the uterus properly as well, making conception much more viable.

Consulting a fertility specialist can empower you with clear knowledge about what your body needs. Choose a fertility clinic that supports you and your values as you begin your journey to parenthood. Fertility Specialists Medical Group, a San Diego fertility clinic, supports a holistic, team approach to promote fertility in their patients. Renowned for their successful track record and a caring approach, they are ideal allies in helping you have a healthy baby.

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EDITORIAL: My Voice Against the Keystone Pipeline

By Christina Fermin

Politics & Society Columnist

Tar sand is a type of sandstone from which asphalt can be made. The extracting process of tar sand is so vicious to the environment (google maps picture here), it is no wonder why its been deemed a step backward for us during these tumultuous times. Tar sand mining is a process which clears the land of all trees and brush from the area while also removing all the soil up until the tar sands, the process requires using lots of water and using more energy than conventional oil. If we are to move forward as a country and a species, we must dramatically alter our lifestyle. Most of us know this, when will the business world and politicians jump on board?

As of right now there are over 1,600 miles of a pipeline, specifically the keystone pipeline wanting to be approved to take this crude oil from Canada down to the gulf coast region. This pipeline would cross ecologically sensitive areas, effecting all sorts of wildlife and sit over the Ogallala aquifer, one of the largest fresh water reserves in the world. An aquifer that crosses 8 states and supplies more than 2 million people with fresh drinking water. Not to mention that parts of this pipeline crosses over an active seismic zone which experiences earthquakes. I see a disaster in the works here, Transcanada has already had to shut the pipeline down a few times this year because of leaks. Besides the problems with what I have mention therewill be unintended consequences, consequences that we cannot afford in this day and age.

Where Obama made it a platform during his campaign to move in the direction of renewable energy, this would be a giant step back. Big oil has fought tooth and nail to make any strides forward in terms of renewable energy, we need to meet that push back and demand that the people we elect to do our bidding, they must comply or face the fury of the people. Renewable energy would create jobs that last and boost the economies of the countries while revitalizing creativity and reviving this dying economy. Creating an economy based on renewable energy is the type of economic plan we need during this depression. The pipeline is going to create temporary jobs, and has more risks associated with it than anything else. Politicians have to show more bronze and legislate that which will benefit the people and future generations rather than the money trail that gets them into office.

The keystone pipeline has been met with strong opposition from protesters all over including the indigenous populations of the US and Canada (photo blog here). So far over 350 people have been arrested for protesting against the extension of this massive pipeline that would pump 700,000 barrels of heavy crude oil each day. As of 8/26/11 the State Department released its final assessment stating that there will be ‘no significant impact.’ Outrageous! What I see here is Big Oil over reaching their hand for monetary gain. Government is no longer in the hands of the people if they cannot begin to put fossil fuels on the back burner and bring forth the future that we want. A future that is clean, green and aesthetically beautiful. A future where the air is clean to breathe and pollution is something of the past, a place where the Earth is not used as a trash can.

Everything that is used and thrown away, there is an alternative that is better, cleaner and environmentally friendly. Because our elected “leaders” do not have the courage and balls to stand up to the giant multinational corporations that hold them, we the people must meet these corporations with courage, ferocity and justice. We must be the ones to reign in corruption and greed, the very systems that have been in place to protect us are now being used against us. I read about this and I am enraged. How many more people have to die prematurely because of pollution? How many more people have to suffer from cancer and disease because of an unintended consequence for raping and pillaging Earth as if that what she was put into this universe for? How many more catastrophes and disasters do we have to read about? How much more suffering must be endured until we realize there is a better way! Do not sit idly by while Mother Earth dies, do not let them win. Do Something.Sign the petition and visit this site.

Peace & Love,

Christina

About the Columnist

With a bachelors degree in political science from Florida Atlantic University, Christina Fermin has always cultivated her love for history, politics, sociology, ancient knowledge and teachings, the outdoors, the ocean and the environment. Christina strives to make our world better by helping us all create a new reality and understanding of all taking place here and now.

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