How To Raise Your Standards For Life

We all have a set of expectations for our lives which include the way we allow others to interact with us, the kind of jobs we pursue and the relationships we have in our lives. If for any reason, you find yourself wanting more, it's okay to raise your standards, in fact, it is imperative.

Raising your standards for your life is a risk that many will not undertake simply because it requires effort and many of the people, places and things you were used to will have to be removed. Similar to a life change like a relocation, upgrading your life in any area will cause you to feel scared and uneasy because until you actually achieve the upgrade you will wonder if it is even possible for you.

It is.

You can have it.

You can have the better job with better pay.
You can have the man who adores you and never disrespects you.
You can have the friends who uplift you.
You can have the healthy body.

The strongest drawback to raising your standards for your life is the fact that when you make the decision to raise your standards, your whole world will seem to be against your decision.

When you decide that you no longer want to work a wage job, you will find that sharing this news with your wage-job working friends will cause unrest because they won't understand or accept your decision. They may berate you, belittle you or even try to sabotage your efforts. For some reason when others see that you want more for your life and they believe they can't have it, they will try to prove to you (sometimes unknowingly) that you can not have it either.

Raising your standards will take great effort on your part because you will have to be strong enough to say ENOUGH IS ENOUGH. You have to be willing to lose everything you have to gain what you believe you want when there is no guarantee that you will ever be able to have it.

The key is to live your life as though your standard has already been met, accept no substitutions and be willing to let go of anything that does not meet your new qualifications.

Yes, they will laugh at you and tell you that you think you are better than they are. Yes, it will hurt as the world you know comes crashing down and you enter into new territory. No, it won't feel good to have to say goodbye to family, fake friends and familiar complacency. It's going to be tough but until you set a new standard, you won't move forward in life.

Say goodbye to your old life. Raise the bar for your expectations and what you will accept in love, career and social interactions. Stick with it. Fight for it. Be willing to be alone if you can't have the relationship you want. Be willing to downgrade your lifestyle if you can't have the job you really want right away. Be willing to go out to dinner alone if you can't surround yourself with the type of people who reflect what you really want from life.

It takes sacrifice and it hurts to be the odd woman out but in the end, your life will shift and all of those people who would not support the shift will be a distant memory.

You can do this.

Set a new standard.

Stick to it.

Receive it.

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The Unforgiveable Sin: Dating A Broke Man

We're not teenagers anymore. We don't fall in love based on how cute he is or what promises he makes. We don't fall in love with his potential or how cute the kids might look. We don't fantasize about a lifestyle that a man has yet to prove he can provide.

This is not about finding a man to take care of you; you are one of My Savvy Sisters, you can easily feed and pamper yourself. You've worked hard to be able to establish yourself, at least keep company with men who have done the same so you can share secrets to success and support each other in your growth. You shouldn't be the only person offering resources and wisdom. Please don't be bamboozled into caring for a grown up child. If you have children, you don't need another one to take care of just for the sake of companionship.

You must never date a man who has not proven that he can care for himself. That is not respectable and it is truly disgusting. You're worth more than that. Some women have no problem going dutch on dates, but you should. If he can't provide a simple meal for the woman who is sharing her mental and physical time with him then he has a lot of work to do on himself in the areas of etiquette, personal pride and self care and he should not be focused on a relationship. If you truly care for him, tell him to work on himself and give him the space to do that without having to lead the way.

At no point should you:

1. Believe the sad sob stories of his childhood which he uses as an excuse for why he is unable to provide for himself.
2. Believe that if you are the one person who supports him then he will eventually get himself together. You are not his savior. Stop trying to be.
3. Equate sexual pleasure with love. In fact, you shouldn't even be sleeping with a broke man at all. He doesn't deserve the cookie if he can't feed you. He doesn't deserve to touch you if he can't teach you how to prosper.

Raise your standards and learn how to masturbate. Have fun with men, flirt, laugh, accept invitations to go out but never, EVER try to save them. They'll respect you more for giving them the space to learn on their own and if they don't, there are plenty of desperate women out there who would love to take care of them. It won't be you.

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7 Ways To Relieve Stress Without Lifting A Finger

We experience stress when we feel that we are faced with situations that we can not control. Whether you are stressed about the actions of others or situations that seem like they are too much for you to handle, there are ways to relieve the pressure of ALL stress from your life.

Try these 7 Tips for mental stress relief. Consider them promises for your life. 

1. Relax. Life doesn't have to be obedient to your demands. In fact, it won't, and that's okay.
2. Let your children (and friends) live their lives the way they want to. You can't control them or save them and you shouldn't try to because it robs them of their chance to learn and grow.
3. When you don't get what you want, understand that it's truly the best thing that ever happened to you.
4. Your body is your greatest gift. It provides transportation for your spirit and allows you to experience the pleasures of life. You aren't a teenager anymore and you don't have to look like one to feel beautiful. Fall in love with your curves.
5. What you need to continue on your path is already on its way to you. It's coming.
6. Your relationship status does not define you. You define yourself. You make the rules. You are loved. You ARE love. Recognize the love that is already around you and passionately return it.
7. However you want life to be, don't wait, simply DO it. Live your life that way right now without waiting for permission or the proper equipment. Think outside of the box and go back to your childhood play. Yes, you have it now.

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How To Talk To Your Child About Cancer

The Silver Pen, an inspirational website for women created by Hollye Jacobs offers women a special gift in honor of breast cancer awareness month. Hollye, who overcame a battle with breast cancer just one year ago created the site to honor the silver linings she celebrates through all life situations as her own life value blossomed due to her awakening.

Please take a moment to view the video series she created to share her story and wisdom for helping your family to communicate more effectively when dealing with a life threatening illness like breast cancer. In the first video she explains why it is important to speak openly to children about cancer and the best way to approach the subject.

Thank you Hollye for such a remarkable and thoughtful video.

The Silver Lining: Tools for Talking with Children about Cancer from Hollye Jacobs / TheSilverPen.com on Vimeo.

To learn more about Hollye and her efforts to support women through an extreme life transition like cancer, please visit her website, The Silver Pen.

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