The Minimalist Lifestyle: Laura's Tiny House

Laura LaVoie is undertaking a few huge transitions in life. She’s embarking on a new career as a freelance writer, she’s moving from Atlanta to Asheville, North Carolina and she is downsizing her life from a 2400 square foot home to a 120 square foot custom built tiny house that she will share with her partner, Matt.

Why would any woman do that? Who would voluntarily give away all of her ‘stuff’ to live in a tiny hideout in the woods that is barely big enough to host a dinner for four?

Laura is well aware of how ridiculous that sounds in a society that celebrates wanton consumerism. She is well aware yet, she doesn’t care because for her, a minimized lifestyle maximizes her freedom.

“Two years ago we sold a 2400 square foot house in the suburbs and moved into a 900 square foot high rise apartment on the north end of Atlanta. We really liked our big home and enjoyed using it while we had it - we'd throw parties and have friends over all the time,” Laura remembers. “But it was a lot of work maintaining that house - we always had to worry about the weather and the roof and the basement. When we sold it, we felt liberated."

This newfound liberation led to scouting the mountains of North Carolina to find a suitable place to build her own home. “We have spent the last three years building a 120 Square Foot house with our own hands. This has been an incredibly rewarding experience. The house has everything that two people need: a kitchen, a bathroom, a sleeping loft, a sofa and a dining table. On top of that, the house is situated in the middle of 15 acres on a mountain. It is so beautiful there that you can't help but be less stressed with life in general.” Laura says.

Blogging about the experience of building a Tiny House has allowed Laura to connect with other women and men who appreciate the minimalist lifestyle.

“I was originally just writing updates on my LiveJournal for myself and I had no idea anyone was reading it,” says Laura.” Eventually, people started to contact me about our build. A tiny house blogger in Charlotte was the first to feature our house on his website and I realized that maybe more people would be interested. I had no idea how big the tiny house movement was going to get.”

The Tiny House Movement is indeed awakening the minds of Americans across the country. As more people opt for personal and spiritual gains over material treasures, these miniature custom built homes are being constructed as permanent residences and vacation get-aways.

For more information about the Tiny House Movement please visit these outstanding websites.

Tiny House Design

Tiny House Blog

Tiny House Listings

Tiny House Forum

Blake's Tiny House

The Tiny Life

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WEBINAR- 7 Symptoms of a Poverty Mentality

This WEDNESDAY, April 25, 2012 from 7-9pm Eastern, the Publisher of MySavvySisters.Com will offer a FREE WEBINAR called The 7 Symptoms of a Poverty Mentality.

During this LIVE video chat on BlogTV.com, you can sign up for a FREE account and chat LIVE with Te-Erika to ask questions and offer feedback to the lesson.

Topics We Will Cover:

1. What are the top 7 Symptoms of a Poverty Mentality?
2. How do these symptoms affect our ability to enjoy life and prosper?
3. What changes must we make to achieve a better quality of life?

To receive an email reminder before the start of the event, subscribe to the MySavvySisters.Com listserve by sending an email to MySavvySisters@aweber.com.

Looking forward to empowering you!

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Create Your Own Adventure: Under The Sea in Belize

By Te-Erika Patterson

Recently, Mary Ann Reid, author and creator of the acclaimed Marry Your Baby Daddy Day, an all expenses paid wedding event for unmarried parents, decided to take the time to create an adventure that would frighten the faint of heart.

“My life has been really turned upside down for several years now and I am putting it back together,” Mary Ann confides. “I wanted to do something else besides reading the self help books because ‘a good scare is better than good advice".

That ‘something else’ that Mary Anne is referring to led her to grab her passport and explore the depths of the beautiful country of Belize during a solo vacation where she challenged herself by facing her fears and diving into the unknown, on more levels than one.

“During one of my feeble attempts to meditate I started to envision water and swimming,” Mary Ann recalls. “Someone told me this means ‘feminine energy’ and that my intuition is provoking it. The water just seemed safe as a place to cocoon and cover myself from life's blows. I have been really, really down after the last traumatic event and I was ready for a good, healthy scare.”

After receiving a random email about a driving trip in The Maldives, Mary Ann’s curiosity got the best of her and she researched the qualifications to become a diver. She quickly learned that she had to become certified to participate in scuba diving which tickled her because she had never swam in any depth of water that would cause her to stand on her tippy toes to see above it. She recognized it as a challenge that would take her focus off of her recent life transitions and she decided that a solo trip to Belize for her birthday would be the perfect gift to rejuvenate herself. Before she knew it she was on a plane coasting over the Gulf of Mexico about to experience a thrill of a lifetime.

For some women, the thought of traveling alone seems horrific, but Mary Ann believes this trip was unparalleled with any other life experience.

“I was nervous since I have had nothing but drama lately, but that shed quickly and I was able to be my authentic self again,” Mary Ann shares. She soon found herself zip lining, becoming a certified scuba diver, eating alone and sharing stories with kindred spirits. Bogged down by the demands she placed on herself, her time spent rediscovering her majesty in Belize was actually the antidote to her heavy heart.

As she returns to New York, ready for whatever may come her way, humming the tune to Billy Joel's 'Don't Ask Me Why', Mary Ann is now more certain about her place in the world.

“You have to walk out in the world like you belong in it," she asserts. "Step into it. Walk straight, give people eye contact, smile, take a seat at the bar and order your favorite drink---let people stare and marvel at you. Embrace you.”

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EDITORIAL: Uneccesary Subsidies

My uncle graduated from college in New York in 1975, his tuition was $0 per semester. Today that same college charges $230 per credit or $5,430 for the year full time tuition. When he told me this, my jaw dropped. He told me during the time he was in school, college was subsidized by the state. When talking to other folks of his time, I get the same story. Either school was free or a student could work part time and afford to pay for college and the cost of living. In 40 years, a lot has changed.

After poking around and talking to several people about education and the cost of higher education. It seems at some point the states stopped subsidizing tuition and began subsidizing other things. A subsidy is an assistance paid to a business or economic sector. Government usually does this to prevent decline in an industry, an increase in prices for products or to encourage hiring of more labor. With this in mind big oil has made record profits in recent years. I’m talking billions and billions and billions of dollars.

These oil and gas companies making billions of dollars in revenue, the federal government gives these companies roughly $10 billion dollars a year in subsidies. Between 2002-2008 $72.5 billion dollars were given in fossil fuel subsidies. Disturbing is it not? Especially when programs such as higher education continue to suffer and tuition increases 3-8% each year. With this in mind, our lovely U.S. Senate recently voted 51-47 to continue over $20 billion in subsidies payed for by you and I. That means while we suffer at the pump paying $4 per gallon and some families up North suffer more by not being able to afford to pay for heat, we (yes, you and I) are paying for them to screw us and harm the environment.

Now let us take a look at how the fossil fuel industry affects politics. Think Progress performed an analysis and 47 of the Senators who voted in favor of keeping oil subsidies received an astonishing $23,582,500 in campaign contributions. That’s roughly $500,000 for the Senators who voted to keep the subsidies, to get a more detailed analysis check out this website. This is how money corrupts politics and the people who control the money control the politics. This is the kind of thing that needs to stop, this is why our politicians are corrupted and this is why the average lay person could never get elected into office. With the deficit we have one would think programs such as subsidizing an industry that makes record profits would be the first to go. This is more proof of how congress has no idea nor do they have the intention of making this country better.

President Obama continues to voice his opposition to fossil fuel subsidies and we the people have to help. If we are to go towards the path of renewable energy and towards a path where tuition increases stop and cuts to education and other social programs are halted. Federal subsidies such as this one must stop. The fossil fuel industry is not the only industry that receives government help while making profits we only dream of. While there are some industries that may need government subsidies there are many who do not. Let this year be the year of change and let us vote out of office those who support programs like this and it is time we have a discussion on taking money out of politics. Write to your congress person, make a phone call or pay them a visit and make sure you let them know how you feel. Things will only change if you demand for that change. What are you waiting for?

To get a deeper understanding of these subsidies check out this site

U.S. Senate Votes to Continue Oil Subsidies

Big Oil's $38 Billion Defense

Skyrocketing College Costs

About the Columnist


With a bachelors degree in political science from Florida Atlantic University, Christina Fermin has always cultivated her love for history, politics, sociology, ancient knowledge and teachings, the outdoors, the ocean and the environment. Christina strives to make our world better by helping us all create a new reality and understanding of all taking place here and now. You can reach her atChristina@MySavvySisters.Com

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Educated Immigrants Moving Back Home For Job Opportunities

In growing numbers, experts say, highly educated children of immigrants to the United States are uprooting themselves and moving to their ancestral countries. They are embracing homelands that their parents once spurned but that are now economic powers.

Enterprising Americans have always sought opportunities abroad. But this new wave underscores the evolving nature of global migration, and the challenges to American economic supremacy and competitiveness.

In interviews, many of these Americans said they did not know how long they would live abroad; some said it was possible that they would remain expatriates for many years, if not for the rest of their lives.

Their decisions to leave have, in many cases, troubled their immigrant parents. Yet most said they had been pushed by the dismal hiring climate in the United States or pulled by prospects abroad.

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Now Trending: Stretched Earlobes

As the new generation is becoming more comfortable with displaying their individual tastes, there seems to be a constant struggle to show the world how much of an individual they are. Nipple piercings, tattoos and dropping out of college are the old fashioned way to rebel against what society deems to be appropriate behaviors for its youth.

How can I be different? That’s a hard question for many. In case you haven’t noticed, long gone are the days when a simple ear piercing was enough to show you’re cool. These days you must demonstrate your individuality and disdain for the mainstream by stretching your earlobes so wide that you can fit a pencil through them.

Wondering what the inspiration behind the new stretched earlobe trend is? We were too. We decided to have a chat with Issa Waters, the beautiful spirit behind the blog LoveLiveGrow to see what she thinks about it.

MSS: Who was it that inspired you to stretch your earlobes?

Issa: I don't know who I first saw with stretched earlobes. I'm a Burning Man participant - a burner - and many burners have stretched earlobes, and lots of my friends and acquaintances do, so I see them all the time. I love other body modifications like tattoos and piercings, so I view stretching a piercing as just one more neat thing that can be done to the body.

I regularly have the urge to do something different to my body like get a tattoo or dye my hair. This urge hit me once at a time when I wasn't in the mood for a new tattoo, and had two roommates with stretched earlobes, so on a whim I decided to go for it.

MSS: What did you do to prepare to alter your body in this way?

Issa: I didn't do a lot of research at first. I relied on my roommates to guide me along the process, although I've read more about it since then. It's just called "stretching". Some people call it "gauging,” but that's grammatically incorrect since gauge is a unit of measurement, not a verb. Getting your ears pierced is the only part of the process that requires a professional. After that you can just gradually work in larger sized jewelry to stretch the piercing. And I do mean gradually! I would stretch the next size, then wait for the stretch to heal completely before stretching again. It took months to go from a standard ear piercing, around 18 gauge, to the size I have now at 00 gauge.

MSS: Why do you believe this is such a hot trend these days?

I don't really follow the "hot trends". Is it one? If so, I guess it would be because tattoos have become relatively mainstream, so in order to be different you have to try something else. I've seen a lot of really creative work in the areas of piercings and stretching, so there's plenty of room there to be unique. My social group is mostly burners, so that's who I see with stretched earlobes, along with lots of other body modifications.

MSS: Does this piercing style affect your family or work?

Issa: I'm not sure my childhood family really noticed. The last time I saw them I had bright pink hair, so I doubt my earlobes really stood out. I don't expect my earlobes to impact my future at all. With the people I hang out with, the jobs I have, and the activities I pursue, stretched earlobes are nothing too exciting. My grandkids will probably think it's totally boring, since they'll have moved on to something else.

My ears aren't usually the most interesting or obviously weird thing about me, so, honestly, they hardly ever come up. I do like wearing flesh tunnels - the jewelry that lets you see right through my earlobe so that it's most obvious that they're stretched. If I'm really looking for attention, I can stick something through there. If I'm at a restaurant, I can stick my straw through one earlobe to entertain the kid the next table over. Unless I do something like that to call attention to them, though, most people won't even notice.

MSS: So much for being different.

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Connie Rice Is A Modern Day Superhero

By Te-Erika Patterson

"When you're focused on the mission, you forget that you're scared." ~ Connie Rice

Constantine "Connie" Rice, the author of the newly released memoir Power Concedes Nothing, is just one cape away from being a modern day superhero. The Los Angeles based civil rights attorney’s tumultuous work confronting the social justice ills that plagued the underprivileged in her community is the basis for this tell all book that allows the intellectual advocate to recount her personal and legal journey as she attempted to quell the violence and corruption that had become the unfortunate trademark of her neighborhood.

MySavvySisters.Com spoke with Connie Rice about her book, her background and the mental strategies she uses to achieve her goals.

According to Connie Rice, she didn’t experience much of the social and personal angst that many teenagers experience. “My parents poured a lot of attention and stimulation into my life,” Connie remembers. “I knew who I was and I had a purpose in life. I didn’t really care what other people thought about me. I was focused on my job which was to learn as much as I can about the world.”

“We were overloaded with high expectations,” Connie continues. “My first word was Mommy, my second word was Daddy and my 3^rd word was college. It’s kind of hard not to come out of that household with anything but an achievement agenda.”

As a social justice advocate Connie claims the progress she made is tied to her intricate view of problem solving. “I like to think about who is needed to solve this problem,” she offers. “I also understand who has real power. There is official power and there is real power. You figure out who has the real power and you convince them that your vision is best for their vision. You bargain with them. You try to persuade them and make them offers they can’t refuse. If you are standing in my way to a solution then I will do everything in my power to remove that barrier. If you’re smart you will join me.”

The Harvard graduate and New York University law school alumnus says her intimate involvement with the Los Angeles gangs as well as her work with the Advancement Project (www.AdvancementProjectca.org) which she co founded, is a result of her personal priority of having no fears.

“I’ve never been particularly afraid of anything,” Connie asserts. “It comes from having to perform and being focused on the mission. When you’re focused on the mission you forget that you’re scared.”

Having never been labeled as a feminist, Connie is well aware of the limitations placed on progress for women due to societal restraints. “I have never accepted the normal constraints that women have,” Connie says. “We’re supposed to fit in the space that we are allowed. I never followed that rule.”

When partnering with the Los Angeles Police Department to forge an alliance between the city’s gang members, Connie became a legend in Los Angeles. She formed a gang academy comprised of ex gangsters who willingly come forward to work with her to keep the community safe through open talks about the high stakes war between the two forces.

“We’re working very close with the community these days,” Connie shares. “We are running a community policing force. For the first time in LAPD history an officer will receive a commendation for demonstrating how they prevented an arrest versus how they facilitated one.”

Connie Rice offers these words of wisdom for any woman trying to make her dream come true.

• Everybody has to come at their goals in a way that fits their personality.
• You have to understand and accept what you don’t know and then find people who do know what you don’t know, to work with you.
• Start at the outcome and then make your plans in reverse. Ask yourself, ‘What is it that has to happen for this to happen?’
• Find another way through impossible. If it looks impossible on paper, sometimes there is another way around what looks impossible.
• I keep my eye on what matters. Life’s too short for dress rehearsals. Just get out there and do what you want to do.
• Figure out what the game is and if you want to play it play it. If you don’t, create your own game.

To learn more about Connie Rice, please visit The Advancement Project.

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Te-Erika's Blog: The HodgeTwins My New Addiction

I. I'm sorry. I haven't been myself lately.

I usually have this "Ugh get away from me" attitude when it comes to men because I realized that after so many years of meeting men who didn't appreciate my friendship and weren't mature and just- meeting average men- I lost all interest in them. Like, at no point do I ever meet a man and think to myself, 'I wonder if he's the ONE'. I don't want any of them to be the ONE.

I deserve better than that. I don't like them. I don't trust them. I don't think they have anything positive to add to my life. I don't want them near me if I can help it. I feel safe with this armor up.

But then something changed a couple of nights ago when my little sister called me to tell me to check out this youtube channel by these dudes called The Hodge Twins.

~BOING~

Not only are these dudes super extra FINE, their personalities really got me. I found myself watching their videos one after another. It confused me because deep down, I don't really like attractive, muscular men who like women. I like mildly attractive, skinny or fat dudes who are secretly gay.

Why are these dudes so appealing to me in an animalistic way? It's like- not only do I now believe HEAVEN exists in a HodgeTwin sandwhich, but I find their opinions to be entertaining too. I love their personalities. I don't even watch TELEVISION because I believe it to be a waste of my precious time I have on this earth to make my dreams come true. I'm bout that. I'm about using my time every minute I can to study and create and make myself more valuable.
BUT for the past 2 days I have been wasting HOURS of my day laughing and staring at them. What's wrong with me? I feel guilty. I am torn because I don't even look at Kanye or Jaleel White the way I look at Keith and Kevin Hodge and Kanye has been my imaginary boyfriend since 2005 and Jaleel was the inspiration for whatever dream man ideals I had in my head since I was a child. But here I am, making a video like a damn GROUPIE just to say Hi to them. Ugh!



I don't want a man. I decided that a long time ago. More recently I decided to stop sleeping with them altogether because it's a waste of time and they don't know what they are doing. It's not worth the effort anymore.

But here we go, some dudes waltzed across my screen turning me into a groupie, laying up in bed staring at my 32inch TV that I use as a monitor for my laptop. And I'm confused but so happy. I don't even like men like that, especially solid, hunky, muscular fine ass men with amazing personalities.

I feel guilty. I don't know what to do. I don't even like men. What's happening? Maybe my obsession will go away quickly so I can get back to work but for now, I have to watch just ONE MORE VIDEO. I can't STOP!

Sad.

LOOK AT THESE MEN!

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New Arizona Law: Pregnancy Begins 2 Weeks Before Conception

In Arizona, women are now legally pregnant two weeks before conception, according to a new law, the Orwellianly-named, “Women’s Health and Safety Act,” signed yesterday by Republican Governor Jan Brewer. The scientifically, medically, ethically, and intellectually dishonest legislation is designed to reduce the amount of time a woman is allowed to have a legal abortion, and is one of the most draconian bills to become law in America.

The bill was sponsored by extremist Arizona State Rep. Kimberly Yee, (image, right) who last month penned an op-ed titled, “No drug test, no welfare.”

“Planned Parenthood of Arizona lobbyist Michelle Steinberg called the law the country’s ‘most extreme piece of anti-abortion legislation’.”

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10 Steps To A Weed Free Lawn

By Tami Moore

1) Keep pulling the weeds. You're going to get new ones every year (sorry, but if your neighbors aren't weeding, you'll get weed seeds) but the more you weed, the healthier your grass will be because the weeds won't be stealing the nutrients.

2) Saturate the soil. If you don't want your yard to look like a cornfield, you won't go all the way to tilling (if you don't care, it WILL help), but you can cheat and go somewhere in the middle. You can either buy or rig together some shoes that have sharp nail-like bottoms. Your feet are safe, but every step should stab lovely holes into your turf. This is good for any soil, but especially for dry, brittle dirt (like we had in Texas). If you don't have a big yard and you have a very small budget you can run around with a pencil, stabbing your lawn. Bonus points if combat curious neighbor stares with shrill giggling or yelling about evil gnomes.

3) If you have a clay soil...well, you probably wouldn't have any lawn at all, so we'll skip this one and assume you don't.

4) Seed. Seeding is very important if you're dealing with sparse grass. If you are in a neighborhood where you can get away with it, your grass will seed itself for free (especially now that you've weeded! Well done!). Just don't mow it for a while. Once the seed heads appear, they'll dry out, puff up, then start to release if shaken. After that, you can mow, and the next lawn will be fuller than the previous one. Alternately, buy a bag of seed from the store of your choosing (make sure it's a kind of grass that doesn't need heavy fertilization and that does well in your area and shade/sun levels). DO seed when it's going to rain. DO water your freshly-seeded yard if it's not going to rain. DO NOT seed if it's a particularly blustery day. Unless you're trying to seed the neighborhood, then go right ahead. =]

5) Fertilization is rarely necessary (unless you have a particularly finicky breed of grass, and I am looking at YOU, St. Augustine) and it's kind of terrible for the environment and water supply (for humans as well as fishes). It DOES work ... but sometimes it works all too well and you end up mowing four times as much as your neighbors.

6) Be prepared for it to take a year or two to REALLY get going. My mom seeded our Texas backyard and religiously picked up sticker plants by hand for two years before the grass looked "pretty" instead of "patchy". By the time four years had passed, everyone in the neighborhood asked her how she did it.

7) I sound like more of an expert than I am, so I DO recommend doing your own research and ignoring anything I said that doesn't sound right.

8) Worms are your buddies. If you can get a light, moist, dark soil full of worms, you're set.

9) One of the best places to ask around would be at a local native plant store, if you've got one. Not a big box greenhouse, but someone who knows what grass in the area you live in is supposed to look like and behave like. Bonus: native plants NATURALLY grow in your area, which means you need to do almost nothing in order to maintain them. They don't need babysitting or fertilizing or extra watering or anything.

10) If you live in a winter/snow climate and has trees (not pine trees) mulch/chop those leaves up or leave their autumn leaves on the lawn over the winter, they'd be doing their lawn a HUGE favor. Those dead leaves are nutrient city for the lawn, plus the extra ground cover helps protect against frosts. It's not very pretty to just leave it instead of mulching it up, though.

Good Luck!

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The Rebuild Your Life Project - One Year Later

So here I am, one day away from the 1 year anniversary of The Rebuild Your Life Project, where I became homeless on purpose to face my own fear of failure and to teach other women how to survive the biggest failure- homelessness.

Around this time last year, I was hugging my sons goodbye after a weekend of fun at the beach and one last cuddle time, not knowing what would happen after the project. I had such high expectations for my journey into and out of homelessness. I knew I would survive it because I always survive everything. I had no idea how wild the journey would actually be. I wasn't fearful about my safety. I was sure that when people heard about it they would want to partner with me to help the homeless. I was certain that the homeless people that I met were just people who couldn't find work and that all they needed was someone like me, to stand up for them.

I was wrong on so many levels. But that's neither here nor there. That project changed me in a lot of ways, some ways I wish would go back and others that I am very proud of.

The one thing that I can share is, homelessness isn't as bad as you think. Actually, nothing ever is. The FEAR of it is much worse than the reality and everytime I go to work I think about what life would be like if I just let it all go, decided not to work and just be free, homeless and under the radar. I have sons so I could never actually DO that, until they grow up, but it's definitely an option in my mind. I feel disconnected from people in a way that I didn't before the project. I no longer have any desire to be joined to anyone. It's like, I'm participating in society yet, I'm doing it out of habit and not sincere interest and passionate emotion for the roles I play.

Even though I feel less than enthused about my role in society, I still become excited when others achieve their goals. There's a young lady at work who got a little promotion and it really made my heart sing to hear about it although her whole life is about to become all about the restaurant, something I would never allow to happen in my life.

I wanted to do something BIG for the 1 year anniversary of The Rebuild Your Life Project, but my efforts have all been on learning how to make my blog grow and I haven't had any creative inspiration as far as celebrating.

I work hard at this. I know it doesn't seem like it because it's just another blog but I take classes to learn from the big time bloggers, the ones who earn all of their income blogging. I study their successes. I write nearly every article on here and there are more than 500. I have to research, reach out to women and interview them, at least 5 a week so I can be current. I have to pay attention to who is winning awards and coming out with new things. I organize writers, market my blog posts and structure advertising rates and explore new ways to monetize this blog.

Yes, I want this to be my full time job which will eventually develop into a media empire with a press corps, staff of writers and finally-women contacting ME to use this platform to promote their work instead of me having to stalk them.

The Rebuild Your Life Project was a part of me investing in my business. A part of my business is using my own life to show women how to improve theirs. I call this site MY Savvy Sisters because I believe that as I grow into my dream, I can teach others how to do the same. I picture this site becoming a beacon of hope, instruction and help for women everywhere who need that support to help push them to the next level in life.

Right now I sure wish I had some support when it comes to strategizing and growing my business. Financially would be great, but my job as a waitress at Denny's pretty much takes care of me and my bills. I got off of food stamps and haven't really missed them which is so weird to me; I still eat out with my sons every week. This blog supports itself through some of the affiliate programs I have signed up with and my ebooks, I sell enough of those to pay for the monthly newsletter program and other incidentals like marketing. Press releases are the most expensive investment I make but they are so worth it.

I am not unhappy about being a waitress, I adore making my customers smile and Denny's has the right kind of people who come in; we're a perfect match for each other. Some days I do long to move on from waitressing and work my blog full time but when I begin to feel frustrated I just remind myself to be faithful where I am and to keep trying.

I feel myself growing past the issues of my past. Of course, I am no longer afraid of homelessness but aside from that, I am really, REALLY no longer as impatient as I was. I used to beat myself up about not being where I know I deserve to be. I knew I had this gift that was undeniable and I was waiting for someone else to notice it. That never happened so I had to create my own vehicle, which you are reading right now. I had to make investments in myself, to learn how to stand on my own two feet and to transform any loss or negative situation into a benefit for me.

I can do this now with no sweat. It's crazy that I can't think of anything that would devastate me so much that I can't figure out a way to benefit from it. My mind is trained that way now.

I've lost some friends. Or maybe it's just that I am no longer interested in the things that used to make us bond. Boys. Toys. Drama. I'm straight. I don't need that in my life. While I still love every one of them, my desire to see and interact with them has all but vanished. I send them all well wishes but I am so detached from claiming them as MINE and imagining a life of vacations and shopping and BBQ's like I used to do. I feel like none of that has to happen and I'll be fine.

One of the biggest things that has changed since this time last year is the fact that I am no longer just 'not religious'; I guess you can call me an atheist. It's not like I am totally adamant about the idea that God doesn't exist (See, I even capitalized the word God to show respect), it's just that for me, developing a dependency on any force outside of yourself is a failure method. I see why others do it, they need someone to lean on, but I can't be like that anymore. If God does exist and decides to look out for me, so be it, but I won't wait around for it.

I don't feel like this life is a trial run for another life. I don't feel like I will be judged. I don't care about heaven or hell. What do I care about? Hm. Good question. I care about the fact that this existence, whatever that means, is what I am experiencing right now and I want to be as comfortable as I can while I am in it. I also want to see if I can change the financial future of my family. In every wealthy family there was that ONE person who had an idea or took a risk and it paid off and centuries later, their family doesn't even understand the word poverty. I want to see if I can do that for my family, it would be great if my sons would never have to be on food stamps again and their children would never even have to THINK about experiencing a government hand out.

I also want to see if I could impact people's lives in a positive way. For me, it's really important to give the things I wish I had, the number one being support. I think for years my friends coddled me in my mess and devastation and that was unhealthy for me. I know they were just showing me their version of love but I don't think that is what I needed. I needed someone to show me HOW to not be pathetic and miserable and HOW to live a beautiful life. That's what I hope to teach other women who are sincerely fed up with being sad and miserable. I was just like that and now I'm not.

I still have anxiety but its not depressing like it used to be. I'm good most days, other days I'm GREAT. I'm still trying, still moving along and hoping that this foundation I am laying will blossom into something beautiful one day. I can wait on it. I'm good. I'm okay.

Love,

Te-Erika

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8 Ways You Unknowingly Annoy Your Waitress

The word restaurant is derived from the French word meaning to restore. In essence, our aim as waitresses is to make sure you leave our restaurant feeling better then when you arrived. We want you to come back to our restaurant, better yet, we NEED you to come back so we'll run, hop, sing and play with your kids to make your experience memorable. I'll do my part, the chefs do their part but we REALLY need you to do your part by NOT committing the following offenses that may seem harmless but after witnessing them time and time and time again- become seriously annoying.



1. Changing your seat.
When a hostess or waitress seats you, it is because we are operating on a cycle. Every server gets a turn at the patrons coming in and every server has a set number of tables that they are responsible for. When we sit you at a particular table, it is because it is that server's turn and when you move for whatever reason, you disrupt the rotation.

2. Changing your order after it's already in.
Unbeknownst to the patrons, the server has a record sheet filled with stats that show their performance. We are rated on sales, customer satisfaction (via the surveys we give you) and our accuracy. Our accuracy is measured by the number of voids and promos we rack up. This means that every time you change your order after we have put it in, we have to alert our manager who has to remove it from the check. We usually get a 'talking to' and have to explain what happened. Regardless of what we say, it looks like it is our fault and that we made a mistake. The more mistakes we make, the less confidence our managers have in us which results in- LESS SHIFTS.

Most servers would rather pay for the mistake out of our tips rather than go speak to a manager and we often do end up paying for the drink you tried and decided you didn't like, or the appetizer you ordered but decided you didn't want at the last minute. The two words we HATE to hear are CANCEL IT.

3. Complaining just so you can get free stuff.
Come on, we know you do it. For some people it's a sport to see just how much free things they can get in life. You will order something and when it gets there you complain that its too cold or too hot or doesn't look good so the manager will comp it. We also know when you want to change your order after it comes to the table and expect us to leave it there so you can have double. This is not fair to us. Whatever happened in your day to upset you, we didn't do it. Please don't do this to us.

4. Making us watch you decide what to order.
It's one thing to have a question about an item on our menu, but PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, especially when we're busy, please don't make us stand there and watch you while you and your family read the whole menu. There are other tables that are signalling for us and other obligations we have to meet and when you ask us to wait while you and your family debate over what you want, it slows us down and really gets under our skin.

5. Asking for samples.
Everything takes time to put together. We know how long it will take for each item to be prepared and for desserts and specialty drinks, we most often have to make them ourselves. Every special topping and mix in has to be mixed and decorated to your desire. When you ask for a small sample of a milkshake, it takes us the same amount of time to make the sample as it does to make the actual drink and then if you decide not to order it, it hurts us because we just ignored another customer who is waiting to order so we can create a sample for you.

6. Asking for condiments one by one.

7. Asking about prices.
Sorry, we do not memorize prices of menu items. We will have to go ring your order in and erase the whole order after we see how much it will be.

8. Asking for our phone number.
We do not want to date you. Sometimes we flirt because that's the nature of the job, to make the customer feel like gold but if you take it to the next level of asking for our number, it feels like pressure and we do not like that. We are asked for our numbers several times every single day. If you really want to impress us, leave a big tip and next time, do the same thing. Then when you leave your number, it is likely you will get a call.

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