5 Things My Savvy Sisters Are NOT Doing in 2012

We don't need to make resolutions because we tackle our goals one by one. Instead of focusing on the things we want to change we'll go ahead and take stock of the things we WON'T do in the new year.

My Savvy Sisters Will Not

1. Focus on the details of other people's lives. When we stress out over whether Mary's husband is paying her enough attention or why Jennifer's daughter is running with the wrong crowd, we add uneccessary stress to our lives. Let them worry about themselves. If it doesn't directly impact us, we are going to smile and let it take care of itself.

2. Condemn ourselves for past mistakes. Every action we took that we thought was a mistake eventually led us to another action that made us smile, laugh or prosper therefore there are no mistakes. We can overcome anything. We become wiser. We won't punish ourselves this year because we weren't perfect. We aren't perfect. We don't want to be. Imperfection is the new black.

3. Play the victim. Whatever happens in our lives is a direct reflection of what is supposed to happen and even the losses will benefit us if we stop being emotional and really SEE what we are being directed toward. No more 'woe is me' stories as we introduce ourselves to new people. No more looking for ways to elicit pity so that we can manipulate the people around us. Yes, people will help us, but no one truly respects a woman who plays the victim time and time again. Own your mistakes. Be willing to lose because of them. Stand up and recognize your role and your options in the situations. Sometimes, letting go is the best thing to do.

4. Forget that our friends are important. Sure, most of us dream about a wedding ring and the glorious day we get to be the princess, but for the MAJORITY of our lives we are human beings having a great experience surrounded by people who may not be able to have sex with us or marry us but they do care. This year, we'll choose to focus on those relationships that have stood the test of time and have shaped us for the better, yes even without an orgasm.

5. Allow this year to float by without taking a risk. We have to stop being afraid to lose. We will be willing to make a decision this year that may cause us to lose BIG TIME. We may tell our special someone how we feel about them and risk chasing them away, or we may ask for that promotion we have been craving at work. We may also decide to finally take that big opportunity overseas and risk not having a job or an apartment to come home to. Whatever comes our way this year that seems too BIG to recover from, we will walk head on into it and stop being afraid to take the risk.

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The Rebuild Your Life Project Partners With Denny's For Hiring Event

On December 21, 2011, more than 100 unemployed South Floridians were given on the spot interviews during The Rebuild Your Life Project's partnership with Denny's Restaurants.

More than 14 corporate owned restaurants in Miami-Dade and Broward counties participated in the hiring event that was held in two different locations, one in Hialeah-Miami Lakes and the other in Hollywood.

Here is a video recap of the event as told by the creator of The Rebuild Your Life Project, Te-Erika Patterson.

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Poll Results: Which Is Your Biggest Fear?

MySavvySisters.Com posted a poll that asked its readers to answer the question: Which is your biggest fear?

Of the women who responded:

23% answered - Being viewed as a failure
23% answered - The death of a loved one
15% answered - Death
15% answered - Never Being Loved
15% answered - Becoming homeless
1% answered- Going to hell


Analysis- What does this poll say about what threatens My Savvy Sisters?

My Savvy Sisters aren't afraid of going to hell. Maybe that's because we have more to do than sit around and think about what is going to happen in an after life that we do not even know exists.

My Savvy Sisters recognize their inner potential and are having a difficult time grasping the concept that somehow they may not realize it. What my sisters don't understand is, the only thing that will hold you back from realizing your full potential is your fear of not being able to do it.

This is why I went through with The Rebuild Your Life Project. I wanted to show you that no matter what happens, you can rebuild. It doesn't matter how much you lose, you can dust yourself off and try again.

Moreover, it seems that not only are My Savvy Sisters afraid of not meeting their full potential but they are also afraid of others recognizing it and judging them for it. This is all too common in women who make goals simply to appease others.

You don't have to live like this, sis. Your goals should be for your own benefit and your own pleasure. Whether or not you achieve is not a basis to determine your life worth. Have fun trying and failing your way through life. Give it your best shot and be surprised when you win because being a superwoman was really your goal in the first place. Your desire is to do the impossible, or at least try anyway and laugh while you're trying it because it really IS fun to try.

I am astonished to report that My Savvy Sisters fear death just as much as they fear never being loved and becoming homeless. This means never being loved would be the same fate as dieing or being an outcast in society. I can understand that rationale but it doesn't have to be so.

We place far too much emphasis on romantic love in this society. I'm sure it's wonderful and it's a life expectancy but really it is not a necessity. We can not continue to measure our life worth by our ability to partner with someone and remain in a relationship with them. No relationship is permanent. No relationship is stable. Everything changes eventually and when we allow ourselves the freedom to change and grow and even to leave if the relationship does not suit our growth, it is only THEN that we are truly living out our potential.

We think we do not have love because we have never been married or we have yet to feel that tingly soul mate feeling but the reality is, we do experience love each and every day in so many forms it would be an insult not to recognize them. But we don't care. We are so busy trying to live out someone else's expectation for our lives that we forget to be happy. But we don't have to continue to live like that.

If for some reason, you don't experience romantic love in this decade, be okay with that. What other experiences can you have? Try to have as many as you can and write about them, savoring them for as long as you can.

Comparing the fear of death to the fear of never being loved is amazing to me. With death, we fear it because we do not know what will happen next. Not experiencing romantic love is different. We KNOW that we can hop from one adventure to the next if we choose to, collecting souvenirs, awards and even lovers along the way. Who says the ultimate love experience has to have a ring attached to it? It doesn't. Have a good time. Listen to your bliss and dive into it.

For My Savvy Sisters: What do you think of these poll results? What were some of your fears from earlier in your life and how did you overcome them?

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Hillary Clinton Is The Most Admired Woman of 2011

In a Gallup Poll that ran in USA Today from December 15-18 of 2011, readers were asked to name the woman they admired most in the world.

The top 3 women were:

Hillary Clinton

We admire Hillary for her obvious strength in character her ability to lead BESIDE her husband, former President Bill Clinton and her resolve to stand amongst the big boys and make her presence known. Hillary is that familiar face that puts us at ease. Much like her husband Bill, women feel like we have a friend in Hillary Clinton.

Oprah Winfrey

Oprah Winfrey is the epitome of every woman's biggest dream come true. She embodies every element of womanhood that we are fascinated by and struggle with. She has allowed the entire world to grow with her in her career and her spiritual ascension. We love Oprah because she is imperfect like we are, yet she still manages to come out on top.

First Lady Michelle Obama

The First Lady Of the United States is American royalty at its best. Poised, confident and charming, she is the type of woman that can lead a country all by herself and train a team of men to do the same. We admire the first lady because she is the beautiful matriarch of our country and we all know that is the secret behind President Obama's success.

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REVIEW: I Hate My Teenage Daughter (Fox)

I Hate My Teenage Daughter is a new Wednesday night comedy series on Fox that stars Jaime Pressley and Katie Finneran as bestfriends who are now single parents of two teenaged daughters who also happen to be bestfriends.

Apparently their daughters are the exact type of popular snobby girls who used to tease them in high school which forces them to be reduced to sniveling doormats everytime their daughters are around.

In one sentence- I hate this stupid show.

Why would any woman who respects herself want to watch two grown ass women be ridiculed by their daughters? How is that comedy?

These two disgustingly haughty little girls have no sense of compassion or anything similar to the warmth that would actually make me want to watch them each week. Their mothers are pathetic, always begging for approval and attention. These women are powerless, horrid examples of womanhood and their daughters should be slapped in the face. I don't care that this show follows XFactor, I will never watch it again. Please die.

If you want to learn how NOT to BE, watch this show.

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Denny's To Help South Florida Residents "Rebuild Their Lives"

America’s diner will hold open interviews for job seekers Dec. 20

MIAMI (Dec. 14, 2011) – At a time when many Americans are trimming the tree and filling their shopping bags, 10.6 percent of South Florida residents are out of work. To help connect these job seekers with the gift they really want this year, Denny’s is holding a hiring event on Dec. 20 to fill a large number of open positions at 14 of its South Florida diners. The hiring event is part of a partnership with the Rebuild Your Life Project, a program designed to empower women to achieve their personal and professional goals.

On Tuesday, Dec. 20 from 2 p.m. to 5 p.m. at two locations in the Miami/Ft. Lauderdale area, Denny’s will hold open interviews for any job seeker looking for part-time, full-time or management positions. All that a candidate needs to bring with them to be considered are two forms of valid identification. Interviews will be held at:

· Denny’s – 16935 N.W. 67th Ave., Miami Lakes, Fla.(305) 821-7032

· Days Inn – 2601 N. 29th Ave., Hollywood, Fla.(954) 923-7300

“Denny’s is pleased to partner with the Rebuild Your Life Project to provide South Florida residents opportunities for success,” said Denny’s Regional Manager Nader Talebzadeh. “The organization’s mission to inspire those in need to reach for their goals is in-line with Denny’s commitment to the communities we serve and the professional development of our employees. Denny’s supports the Rebuild Your Life Project and encourages women and men in search of life-changing opportunities to participate in this open interview event.”

Denny’s became involved with the Rebuild Your Life Project through Te-Erika Patterson, the organization’s founder who is also a Denny’s employee. In April 2011, Patterson gained exposure by intentionally becoming homeless as part of a living documentary to empower women and demonstrate strategies for rebuilding one’s life during times of extreme hardship. During her bout self-imposed homelessness, Denny’s gave Patterson a chance and hired her as a server in its Hollywood, Fla. diner. She has been a loyal employee ever since and uses her wages to fund philanthropic efforts through the Rebuild Your Life Project.

“Denny’s helped me to rebuild my life by giving me a second chance and now they are offering that same gift to many others in this community,” Patterson said. “I am so thankful for the opportunities Denny’s has provided and for their support in this hiring event. It is my mission to inspire and encourage others and this opportunity is an open door for those looking to change their lives for the better.”

For more information about Denny’s or to find a diner in your area, visit www.Denny's.com.

To learn more about the Rebuild Your Life Project, visit www.mysavvysisters.com.

About Denny's Corp

Denny's is one of America's largest full-service family restaurant chains, currently operating more than 1,600 franchised, licensed and company-owned restaurants across the United States, Canada, Costa Rica, Mexico, Honduras, Guam, Puerto Rico and New Zealand. For further information on Denny's, including news releases, please visit the Denny's website at www.Dennys.com.

About the Rebuild Your Life Project

The Rebuild Your Life Project is an empowerment organization for women designed to teach them to overcome their fear of failure. Our hope is to instill in women the confidence they need to go after their dreams and remove themselves from mentally and spiritually debilitating situations that are holding them back from living joyful lives. For more information, please visit www.MySavvySisters.com.

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The Difference Between Being Pretty & Beautiful

By Te-Erika Patterson


Are you pretty?

When you look in the mirror do you see an image staring back at you that reflects your ideal image of beauty? Take a moment to describe the ideal woman's physical features. What color skin tone does she have? How much does she weigh? What do her eyes look like? What does she wear when she goes out on the town? How is her hair styled?

Now take another moment to figure out the answer this question- Where did your idea of beauty come from?

If the woman you described as ideal does not look like the woman you see in the mirror chances are along your life journey you were bamboozled by society's impression of what a woman should look like. Don't be upset with yourself. In our quest to decipher our purpose and mission in life we often adopt the beliefs and expectations of those around us in order to gauge whether we are living life correctly.

Suppose you were taught at an early age that you were expected to finish high school, go to college, get married, have children and retire by age 55. Those seem like reasonable life expectations don't they? Well, how do you know that those expectations were the right path for YOU?

Now go back to the woman you described as your ideal image of beauty. Chances are you've met her before and it caused you great distress. Where did you meet her?



Was she the woman who stole your first boyfriend? Was she the little sister who came along and stole all of the attention away from you when you were a child? Was she the most popular girl in high school? Was she the woman all the boys drooled over as she crooned pop music on television? Was she the girl who won all the awards at school without ever trying?

The point I am making is simple. If the ideal woman you imagined does not look like you, somewhere along the line you compared yourself to another woman and felt that you fell short. Somewhere along your life journey, you decided that there was another woman in existence who had something special that you did not. Somewhere along your life path, you listened to opinions about what is right and wrong and you decided not to decide for yourself.

And that's okay. It's already done and now we have to unravel this mess.

So you think you're not pretty?

What does this really mean? The images of women that we see being celebrated as beautiful were carefully crafted for a purpose. The sole purpose of every image in every advertisement is to sell a product. In order to sell a multitude of products the marketing director knows that the product must be appealing to a multitude of women. For a multitude of women to find a particular product appealing the product must be outside of the norm, something that only a few women can actually attain easily.

You are allowing people who are driven by profit to validate your sense of beauty.

"But I'm still not pretty!" you say, as tears began to flow down your cheeks.

Guess what? You don't have to be.

You can be as ugly as Medusa and still achieve your life goals. You don't have to be pretty to be beautiful.

If you know that you are not pretty, which simply means that you don't fit the ideal image that a marketing director crafted in order to sell you products, I want you to know that you can still be beautiful if you want to be.

"How can I be beautiful?" you ask.

I'm glad you asked.

While pretty conforms to societal expectations and in no way guarantees an awesome, pain free life, beautiful speaks to the magic that every woman possesses. Yes, you have this magic too.



The Difference Between Being Pretty And Being Beautiful

Beautiful women wear sweat pants and rumpled t-shirts in public and are still pursued by men.
Pretty women have to wear make up at all times in order to feel attractive.

Beautiful women have this gleam in their eye because they are aware of their inner powers as women.
Pretty women have to carry eye drops to moisten their colored contacts.

Beautiful women have satisfying relationships with friends, romantic partners, their families and themselves.
Pretty women do anything they can to hold on to relationships, often sacrificing their own needs because they do not believe they are more than just their looks and desperately need approval.

Beautiful women do not care if they are wearing the right color for the season or if their handbag is out of style because they understand that these accessories only accentuate their inner magic.
Pretty women must have the latest in all fads and fashion trends because their value is linked to being approved by society's ever changing barometer of beauty.



How To Become Beautiful

1. Understand right now that you have the vagina. The vagina is the source of all things. The vagina has caused wars, weakened civilizations, provoked men to achieve great things and gives birth to the human race. Because you have a vagina, you have the power. The power is the option to be a vessel to bring forth life and to mold that life by the seeds you plant as wisdom, affecting generations to come. The power is the knowledge that through YOUR influence all things are possible.

2. Throw away all fashion magazines. Fashion trends are the devil. You must understand that what you are wearing has very little to do with who you are and the power that you hold inside. It's just cloth. It's just cloth. You will know you OWN your beauty when you can wear the same outfit for a week straight and not feel awkward about it. You can do this. You don't need anyone's approval on what you should wear and how you should wear it. If your clothes are clean you are fine. If you can not do this, you are still striving to be pretty.

3. Disregard your skin. Take a few minutes of private time to sit alone. Close your eyes and imagine that your body is melting away. It is vanishing before your eyes. What is left? Can you feel its essence? THIS is who you really are.

As you sit and get to know your real self, the you without your skin, harness your power by recognizing that you are nothing and you are everything. Can you see a beginning and an end to your existence in this state? There is none. You are all powerful outside of your skin.

When you are ready to acknowledge your skin again, do not forget this state of power that you just felt. Play with it. Respect it. Disregard the criticisms of it. Your body is merely transportation for the essence of who you are. Take care of it, appreciate it, but do not berate it for not being molded the way that some profit hungry MAN dictated it should look. Look past the shallow lies of society and into the vastness of the essence of who you really are. You are everything. You are nothing. You are all that is. You are the authority. You decide what is right and wrong. You decide what is ugly and what is pretty. You decide what is great and what is common. You decide if you are beautiful or not.

4. Walk in your power everyday. Flow in it. Play with it. Laugh in the face of every brainwashed Betty or Bob who dares to tell you that you are not beautiful. Understand that they are playing roles in a movie that they have no idea has been scripted and sadly, no one is even tuned in to watch. Feel sorry for them and then let it go. You dictate your life by your perception and your choices. You authoritatively decide if things are good or bad. You decide if you are happy or angry. You do not need to allow situations to dictate your mood. You have the authoritative power to decide how you want to feel about the world, your situation and even your body.

You own your body. You own your life experience. Walk in your power. Be grateful you have the vagina. Make men earn it. Set its bounty very high. Not everyone deserves to taste or touch. Be picky with your friendships, your time and your love. Time is limited. Everyone doesn't deserve an appointment.

You are the authority over how you view yourself. You don't need anyone's acceptance or approval. If anyone tries to make you feel less than perfect it is because that is how they feel about themselves. They want you to join them in their self hatred.

Decide you are beautiful and never try to force anyone to respect it. You earn respect by respecting yourself and making yourself a rare commodity.

You have the POWER. The magic is yours to harness to create everything or nothing. It's your decision.

Stand up. Walk tall. Deflect everyone's definitions or directions for your life. You are the authority. It is what you say it is.

5. Be good to yourself. Celebrate yourself in as many ways as you can think of. Celebrate your right leg on Friday. Celebrate your hair on Saturday. Praise yourself for being intelligent. Buy yourself a gift for making it through another work week. Honor yourself. You DO deserve it. You ARE awesome. You ARE special. You ARE magic.

Forgive yourself. Hug yourself. Give yourself a second chance. You don't have to be perfect to be beautiful, you just have to decide that you are beautiful and then act like it by treating yourself well.

You don't need anyone's permission to treat yourself well. If no one else as noticed you yet, then give yourself the treatment you know you deserve. Find a reason to fall in love with yourself everyday. Become your own greatest admirer. No one else in the world has to fall in love with you in order for you to feel that you are valuable. You ARE love. Feel it within. Touch it. Fondle it. Kiss it. Frolick in it. Every single day.

You're so awesome!

I now pronounce you... beautiful.

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EDITORIAL: We Are Responsible For Climate Changes

By Christina Fermin
Politics & Society

This weekend the U.N. Climate Talks ended. These meetings take place every year in an effort to curb greenhouse gas emissions and plan ways to affect climate change. This year the effort was especially pressing because of new reports and findings that have been published regarding the state of the planet and the consequences we will face if we fail to do nothing about the manmade pollutants that become trapped in our atmosphere and trigger global warming.

Events that have already begun where in places like Africa, the Middle East, South America and the Pacific Islands are already beginning to feel how we humans have altered our planet. The talks were by no means a success, they were a baby step in the direction we need to go. With real negotiations being postponed until 2015.

Many of us, especially here in the U.S., do not really understand the dramatic consequences we will soon face as a species because of the bad choices we have made when it comes to fossil fuels, pollution, regulation and greenhouse gas emissions. The worst thing we have done as a society in the last 30 years was make climate change, a political issue which has hijacked the issue and politicized it. When it was never suppose to be an ideological debate, there has always been science behind the idea of climate change, lots and lots of science. Recently a report came out, a report funded by conservative think tanks and conservative groups and those findings were identical to the findings that have been released over the last few decades.

The report indicated that the human species is responsible for climate change, that pollutants like coal, natural gas, petroleum do produce greenhouse gas emissions that get trapped in our atmosphere and cause the planet to warm. This is not a natural cycle, and if it were we have significantly altered the natural cycle by several degrees already. Republicans are no longer denying the issue. Last Presidential election in 2008, several Republican candidates talked about curbing greenhouse gas emissions and stopping climate change for the future of our grandchildren. The bad news is, our grandchildren will not be the only ones experiencing climate change first hand, we will and our kids definitely will.

It is a general agreement from scientists around the world that if we continue consuming at the rate we consume and emit carbon emissions at the rate we are emitting them by the end of the Century the Earth will warm by 3 degrees Celsius, that is a 5.4 degree rise in Fahrenheit. If we allow this to happen the seas will be so acidic it will no longer be able to sustain life, the arctic will be fully melted, no longer act as a mirror for the sun and the ocean will absorb all of that heat causing the rainforests, Earth’s lungs, to disappear. Desertification will happen in places that border deserts and they will expand. Sea levels will rise and places like Papua New Guinea and the Maldives will no longer exist.

Seasons will change as they already have begun. Winters will become more sporadic and it will snow in places that normally don't experience snow. Blizzards will occur where they have never occurred before. Natural disasters will become more frequent and intense. Whole populations will have to move and relocate due to the extreme climate changes. Social predictions estimate over 100 million climate change refugees. Scientists agree that for the Earth to sustain our species, the Earth has to be at most 350 parts per million in carbon, today we are at 390, by the end of the Century, we are expected to hit 650 if we do nothing (and those are the conservative figures). I know things seem bleak at this point.

I write this for you, because I want you to understand that change occurs on a personal level. You must understand the dire consequences We face, change Must come from You. How can one look into the eyes of their loved ones in 20-30 years and say “I’m sorry.” The next generation will look back upon us and despise us. We have done this. This is OUR fault, we have allowed this to happen. Now is the time to take responsibility and Do Something. We must begin to alter our lifestyle or be prepared to face our doom. We must realize we live on a very special planet that took billions of years to get to the point where it was able to sustain life and it evolved to be a wondrous paradise. A paradise that took us roughly 100 years to dramatically alter.

Below I have provided several links to not only help you understand, but take part in changing for the better. Now is the time to put political pressure onto our representatives and vote for future leaders that take this seriously and will do something about it. This is our life, our planet, our future.

http://epa.gov/climatechange/wycd/actionsteps.html - Action Steps

http://www.350.org/ - Understanding 350 and what you can do

http://eartheasy.com/blog/2009/03/global-warming-climate-change-what-we-can-do-about-it/ - More Action and understanding

http://www.greenpeace.org/international/en/campaigns/climate-change/ - Campaign to stop climate change

http://www.worldwildlife.org/climate/ - Overview on climate change and what you can do

http://www.climatecentral.org/?gclid=CI67jN_z_KwCFQ9Y7Aoda23uRg - Up to date news and information on climate change

http://www.worldwatch.org/node/3949 - Q & A about climate change

http://www.wikihow.com/Take-Action-to-Reduce-Global-Warming - More in-depth how to’s



About the Columnist

With a bachelors degree in political science from Florida Atlantic University, Christina Fermin has always cultivated her love for history, politics, sociology, ancient knowledge and teachings, the outdoors, the ocean and the environment. Christina strives to make our world better by helping us all create a new reality and understanding of all taking place here and now.

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Health Insurance Gift Cards With Blue Cross

Blue Cross Blue Shield offers health insurance gift cards which can be purchased at drug stores like Walgreens, CVS and the Winn Dixie pharmacy for $19 or $59.

These gift cards provide a discount at certain medical service providers for medical services like doctor's visit, lab work or dental work.

Are you uninsured and need to go to the dentist or struggling to pay the fee to visit a doctor? This card may help.

Try it out and let us know about your experience.

Visit the Blue Cross Blue Shield website for more information.

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My Savvy Sisters Don't Beg

You are a perfect gift to this world. You no longer need to beg for what you want or need. You simply need to ask and expect to receive.

Your life is like a beam shining into the world. You will magnetically attract all that you require to achieve your life goals. All you have to do is put forth your very best effort with the highest intentions to serve and sit back and watch the magic.

NO MORE:

Begging for a man to love you. If he doesn't appreciate you, he is not meant for you.

Begging for a job to promote you. Just do your best and your promotion will come as a result of the honor you put into your work. If it does not come from your current company, it will come from another.

Begging for someone to support you. Your support is waiting for you to receive it and you won't have to cajole or coerce them to stand with you.

Begging for acceptance. You are already acceptable just as you are. Your 'right' environment is waiting for you to step into it.

Begging for approval. You don't need anyone's permission or approval to live the life you dream of. You are capable of approving yourself. You know when you are ready and you know just what steps to take.

Begging for an opportunity. If you can't find an opportunity to release your gifts then you must create one for yourself. Through diligence and passion, your opportunity will lead the way to your greatest life.

My Savvy Sisters don't beg because they do not have to. They recognize their power and walk in that power every day and night. We understand that everything that belongs to us will be placed on our paths and we will step gracefully into the ownership with poise and the infinite wisdom to maintain it.

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Facebook COO Sheryl Sandberg Encourages Women To Stand Up

In this beautifully delivered TED Talk, the COO of Facebook, Sheryl Sandberg explains the top 3 reasons she believes women are not more frequently in the positions of power at major corporations. She also offers 3 ways women can stop sabotaging themselves and make their stay in corporate America more rewarding.

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She's Got Skillz: Independent Software Developer

Written By A. Russo

Homeless and weak from a recent miscarriage, I went to the only person I thought would or could help me...a friend's ex-husband. It was a place I had stayed many times when they were married and I had run away from whatever was the latest bad foster home they had shoved me in.

I have been with him ever since. I ended up reluctantly marrying him, pressured by him, his family, and the priest at the local Catholic church. We have a daughter who is now 25.

He's not the greatest in the world, far from it, and he is rather abusive, although he would never hit me. Not that kind of abuse, his thing is verbal and mental abuse, and keeping me as his prisoner so he won't have to be all alone. He drove all my friends out of my life, forbid me from going back to school, sabotaged every job I ever had, and won't allow me to have my own money.

During this time I suffered some sort of injury to my leg that left me unable to walk for about 6 months. I lived a life of constant excruciating pain and my husband wouldn't let me go to a doctor to find out what was wrong with me. This was when I found out about him draining out our daughter's college fund. I would have left him that day with nothing but the clothes on my back, not caring if I had anywhere to go, but since I couldn't walk I was stuck there. I told him that and I meant it.

I decided I couldn't go on living like that and needed a way out. I needed a way to earn money without it costing me anything and without me having to leave home to do it. That was when I decided to start coding. I had already spent enough time in Renko's chat room to know what I was getting myself into, and who to turn to if I needed help teaching myself. My goal was to learn, work hard, and some day I'd be good enough to start releasing shareware apps and could generate the income I needed to get out...and to support myself.

As I was learning, I founded a small chat room based community to help others that were also trying to teach themselves programming. We each knew a little, together we knew a lot, and we were all willing to help each other with what we knew. I set up this free e-book directory to help us, and others.

I set up another website for myself and released the things I was making as freeware. When my online community collapsed, due to the RIAA's legal attack on the company that ran WinMX (a decentralized P2P service with a built-in chat network that hosted our chat room), I was kind of lost and in need of a new online home.



I found DonationCoder in 2006, while looking for software to hold code snippets. A Google search took me to the famous "note taking software" thread on their forum.

I took a look around the site and saw what they were about and it intrigued me. I noticed they had an IRC channel and decided to drop in and see what was up. I have been there ever since.

Jesse Reichler (aka mouser), the site's founder, donated the first dollar I ever made from coding. He's a great guy and I don't know what I'd do without him. He's not just supportive and encouraging with my coding, he's also a good friend. I have made a lot of friends on the site and brought in a lot of members from my former community. We are like one big family that supports each others work, a family any coder or software enthusiast is welcome to join.

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New Google Plus Talk Show- HangOut With Te-Erika

Who the hell left the gate open?

I'm not sure but since it's wide open I will jump on in as I introduce a new style of 'hanging out' on Google Plus.

HangOut With Te-Erika on Gplus will leave you yearning for more as each half hour segment promises nothing short of life changing interviews with experts, truth or dare challenges, mayhem and talent showcases for artists.








There is no set schedule; Te-Erika hangs out when she feels like it. To stay on top of when she'll be on so that you can jump in:

CIRCLE us at HangOut With Te-Erika
Check our youtube channel for the taped version of the show after it airs.

Hope to hang out with you soon!

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The Common Sense Rant

By L. Morrison

I'm rather upset by so much of the news I've been watching this morning so I'm on a bit of a rant getting rid of all this negativity, but here goes 5 of my common sense tips, for whatever it's worth:

Common Sense Tip 1: IF you are an ADULT & SEE another adult assaulting a CHILD, STOP IT!! Don’t walk away, call your Dad asking what to do & then finally call some administrative bureaucrat the NEXT MORNING & THINK you’ve done your best. You HAVEN’T!

Common Sense Tip 2: IF you SEE someone in a wheelchair, with a baby buggy struggling or anything else, OFFER TO HELP!!!!! If they refuse your help, so what, don't take it personally, at least YOU know you DID what you SHOULD have done!

Common Sense Tip 3: IF someone wishes you Merry Christmas or God Bless, accept it in the spirit in which it was expressed, as a lovely compliment, a blessing on you or a thoughtful greeting and NOT a dis on YOU, YOUR faith or your belief system or any other faith or belief system. Just say thank you and move on about your day with a little lift in your heart that some stranger just wished you well.

Common Sense Tip 4: IF a 5 year old CHILD says he thinks his teacher is cute, it is NOT SEXUAL HARASSMENT, it is a CHILD expressing something simple and pure! Stop making them feel as if their feelings are ugly when they aren't!!! STOP RUINING OUR CHILDREN!!! And just for the record, this also goes for children hugging and kissing each other too! Children are joyful and if nothing else, we should ALL see the world as a child does and should be able to express our love for one another without such ugly sentiments crushing our spirits.

Common Sense Tip 5: STOP buying into this mantra that it’s everyone else’s responsibility to MAKE you happy and prosperous! It’s NOT! This is something that is up to YOU. Stop being so pessimistic, negative and so readily assuming the worst in every situation. IF you go about your life and your business with this kind of negativity in your heart and mind, it WILL escape, go out into the world and find its wicked way back to you. What you put out there IS going to be coming back at you so DON’T be surprised when it does and cry foul. IF you WANT happiness, be determined to BE happy, do not allow others to dictate your life, get out there and DO the things that will MAKE you happy. Period! Everything ELSE WILL fall into place!

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How To Stop Smoking Today

I started smoking cigarettes when I was involved with a crowd who did. After I stopped hanging out with them, the habit remained, costing me well over $200 a month.

I recently quit for good after two years of smoking nearly a pack of cigarettes a day and I wanted to share my process.


Thought
First, it began as a desire in my heart. I wanted to stop although I didn't know how I would do it. You'll know you are about to quit smoking when the thought crosses your mind on more than one occasion. You'll begin to think about the benefits of letting go of that disgusting habit and it will make sense to you.

The Tradeoff
With any addiction, you'll have a moment of clarity that forces you to see what you had been missing out on because of your addiction. For me, it was the fact that I had no health insurance.

"I can't believe I still can't afford to get my tooth pulled," I thought to myself early one morning after I got off of working the overnight shift as a waitress. I was on my automatic stroll to the gas station to buy my daily pack of cigarettes when it hit me.

WAIT A MINUTE!

I can't afford health insurance.

I spend more than $200 a month on cigarettes.

I need my tooth pulled and can't afford it.

I spend more than $200 a month on cigarettes.

I need a car.

I spend more than $200 a month on cigarettes.

I want to be able to reinvest in my start up business more.

I spend more than $200 a month on cigarettes.



I stopped mid-stride and suddenly I felt the stink from the millions of cigarettes of my past rushing up out of my throat. I was disgusted with myself for being so stupid. I sat down on the bus stop, staring out at the gas station across the street and right then and there I decided- I'm not buying anymore. I decided that I wanted good health and more money more than I wanted that habit.


Reinforcement
But the desire didn't go away. Smoking cigarettes is an activity for most people. It is something to look forward to at the end of the day, after a good meal, after a good romp in the hay or even- just because the sun is shining and you want to sit outside.

When I got home I didn't change clothes and immediately head outside to smoke. Instead I smiled to myself and got ready for a nice nap. When I woke up I felt great. I went about my day as though I was superwoman.

It wasn't until the next day that I felt the void. When you're a smoker, smoking is such a part of your life that you allot times in the day for it. When you stop smoking, you can sleep longer, take longer showers, eat before work and so much more that you would usually rush through so you could make sure you have time to get that cigarette in.

The void feels depressing. You don't know what to do with your hands. You tend to eat more. If you eat fruits or chew celery you'll make it through.

How I reinforced the idea that I would not smoke again came to me in such a marvelous way. When the thought of buying a pack of cigarettes came into my mind I made myself think of 3 people I know who were smokers.

Then I thought about their lives, their goals and compared them to my own. I asked myself, "Do you want to be like them when you grow up?"

Yes, I had to be haughty about it. I had to imagine for a minute that I was BETTER than those folks who smoked and that smoking was for commoners who had nothing better to do with their money.

"I have dreams and goals," I reminded myself. "I can't spend money on that. I'm better than that. There are plenty of other things to suck on."



So to recap, if you want to stop smoking using cognitive force you must:

1. Think and decide that you want to quit. Make no extra effort. Simply acknowledge that this is a goal you want to achieve.

2. Take stock of your tradeoffs. What are you missing out on because of your habit? What is your habit holding you back from doing? What is your habit costing you? Decide that you want something else MORE than you want your habit.

3. Be Haughty. Listen, people who smoke are disgusting and ugly. Who really wants to stand around looking and smelling like that? Why do so many people smoke- because it's the COMMON thing to do. In fact, I learned that for the homeless, smoking is their favorite activity.

Who do you share your 'shorts' with? Is that person someone who represents your ideal lifestyle? Are you trying to go somewhere in life or will you sit there and blow all of your dreams out in a cloud of smoke every single day? You're killing yourself, you do know that. Your breath stinks too.
And eww, what is that cologne you wear to cover it up? It doesn't work. Everyone still knows.

And look- God says in the Bible that the only folks need to get drunk (or smoke) are those who need to drown their sorrows. The Bible says that the leaders need to keep a sober mind and should leave those addictions to the commoners that they are charged to care for.

Stop smoking.

That shit is not cute.

Woman with mouth cancer.

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How To Stop Pushing People Away

As we go through life's bumps and become bruised it is easy to believe the only way to safeguard ourselves from the evils of the world is to cut relationships with people off completely. This one decision affects our behavior and our lives stifling us in a way that creates a misery that we do not even know we are engaged in.

We may FEEL safe because we won't allow anyone to get close enough to hurt us but we are actually shielding ourselves from the beauty of this life experience.

My introversion led me to believe that I am so different and so unique that no one could relate to me. I felt misunderstood and my self righteousness told me that I owed no one an explanation so I disregarded any interest in forming new relationships. If you are someone who finds it difficult to relate to people because of fear, it is important to move past that. We were created to relate to others. Please try these tips for sharing your soul with others.


Be Open To What Others Are Into
Yes, your life experience is all about YOU, but there are others who will play a supporting role in your movie. If you really desire to have better relationships with others you have to decide to be open to what others are interested in. You don't have to participate in those things but at least be open to listening to others share their passions and don't judge them for what they love.

If someone shares something with you that you find startling, unusual or even immoral, do not cast them to the side. They are sharing their soul with you. They are offering you the gift of their secret. A friendship and mutual respect can be made out of this disclosure. Honor them for trusting you enough with their secret passion.

Instead of judging them, develop a playful curiosity about the person. Become a super sleuth. Get to know them and try to figure out why they are who they are. What led to their development and personality? View their personality through an investigative lens and marvel at the beauty of their life creation.


Just Because Someone Has A Flaw Doesn't Mean They Are Flawed
One of the main reasons why I push people away is the fact that I discover that they are less than perfect. It is my own frustration with myself that motivates me to judge them so harshly. My desire for perfection and subsequent disappointment with myself moves me to become disgusted by those who show similar traits and flaws.

When you can find a way to accept yourself more fully, loving others will be a breeze. You may be able to allow someone to love you too. Just because you have a flaw doesn't mean you "ARE" flawed. You are not your ear. Your ear is a part of you.

You are not your flaw. Try offering second chances to those who you recognize as flawed and you'll find you become more accepting of yourself as well.

Watch For The Purpose
Everyone is your teacher, healer or student. Every person you lock eyes with for even a brief moment comes your way in order to add something to your life experience. By pushing people away you rob yourself of the growth you could achieve. By deciding not to relate to others out of fear of being misunderstood or hurt you are pushing away the very things you have been praying for or manifesting deep within your heart. The qualities you need to develop to become the person you want to be are developed through your interactions with PEOPLE.

Once the person you meet has fulfilled their purpose they will magically be moved out of the way so that the next person may enter and play a part in shaping your best life. You don't have to push anyone away. You can watch as they play their roles on their own and dismiss themselves just as easily.

You don't need to control everything by pushing them out of your life. Allow life to adjust itself for you. Relax and see what happens.

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US Dept. of Health Denies OTC Birth Control To Young Teens

Statement from The National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy

WASHINGTON, Dec. 7, 2011 /PRNewswire-USNewswire/ -- Today, U.S. Department of Health and Human Services (HHS) Secretary Kathleen Sebelius did not accept the recommendation of the Food and Drug Administration to make Plan B One-Step emergency contraception (EC) available without a prescription to those under 17. Consequently, Plan B One-Step will remain available without prescription only to those 17 and older, and only behind the pharmacy counter (so that age can be verified). Those 16 and younger will still need a prescription to get emergency contraception.

In response to this ruling, Sarah Brown, CEO of The National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy issued the following statement:

"This was undoubtedly a difficult decision for all involved. Making emergency contraception easily available to young teens and pre-teens may have raised concerns among parents and others as well. Even so, the decision is in conflict with the fact that there is simply no evidence to suggest that making contraception, including emergency contraception, available to teens encourages them to begin having sex, to have sex at younger ages, or to have more sexual partners.

"I am disappointed at the lost opportunity to increase access to Plan B One-Step EC for women of allages. Had HHS approved over-the-counter availability of this method for those 16 and under, there would have been no need for pharmacists, who are available during limited hours, to check the age of anyoneseeking EC. This change would have made EC far more available to women of all ages—which on balance is a wise path—especially given that the vast majority of unplanned pregnancies and abortions in the United States are among women in their 20s and 30s. Simply put, I am particularly disappointed that the ruling today will prevent all women from getting emergency contraception with fewer hurdles to overcome.

"It is also important to add that easing access to contraception, including emergency contraception, is an important public health goal. The long term objective should continue to be improving access to all methods of contraception."

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REVIEW: The Strange Thing About The Johnsons (2010)

The Strange Thing About The Johnsons is fast becoming the independent cult shocker movie of the year. This film, written and directed by Ari Aster as his American Film Institute Thesis film, has been sizzling through the internet like a Kim Kardashian sex tape.

The film is an odd depiction of incestual sexual abuse with a twist. In this film, the son continually molests his father from his teen years until he reaches adulthood.

How could this happen? Who in the world came up with this scenario? What did the mother do about it?

These are all immediate questions that are answered in this 29 minute short film. In short, this is no ordinary remake of a popular Hollywood theme. This film brings to light an age old problem but frames it in such a way that we all feel the sting as though it is a fresh wound. In the father's face you can feel the pain and the confusion of the sexual abuse victim. In the father's fear you can understand the self loathing and blame for being a part of such an ordeal. The mother's reaction to the situation is a tear jerker.

After many discussions about this movie I believe that the director has left his audience yearning for more. The acting, the cinematography, the editing, the storyline- all superbly crafted. You will end the movie immersed in emotional conflict and most likely head over to the movie's facebook page to vent and read the reactions of others.

This is not an easy film to watch and it is definitely NSFW. Watch the full length movie, The Strange Thing About The Johnsons Here.

The Strange Thing About the Johnsons - don't ask, just watch! from Michael Roy on Vimeo.

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