How To Stop Pushing People Away

As we go through life's bumps and become bruised it is easy to believe the only way to safeguard ourselves from the evils of the world is to cut relationships with people off completely. This one decision affects our behavior and our lives stifling us in a way that creates a misery that we do not even know we are engaged in.

We may FEEL safe because we won't allow anyone to get close enough to hurt us but we are actually shielding ourselves from the beauty of this life experience.

My introversion led me to believe that I am so different and so unique that no one could relate to me. I felt misunderstood and my self righteousness told me that I owed no one an explanation so I disregarded any interest in forming new relationships. If you are someone who finds it difficult to relate to people because of fear, it is important to move past that. We were created to relate to others. Please try these tips for sharing your soul with others.


Be Open To What Others Are Into
Yes, your life experience is all about YOU, but there are others who will play a supporting role in your movie. If you really desire to have better relationships with others you have to decide to be open to what others are interested in. You don't have to participate in those things but at least be open to listening to others share their passions and don't judge them for what they love.

If someone shares something with you that you find startling, unusual or even immoral, do not cast them to the side. They are sharing their soul with you. They are offering you the gift of their secret. A friendship and mutual respect can be made out of this disclosure. Honor them for trusting you enough with their secret passion.

Instead of judging them, develop a playful curiosity about the person. Become a super sleuth. Get to know them and try to figure out why they are who they are. What led to their development and personality? View their personality through an investigative lens and marvel at the beauty of their life creation.


Just Because Someone Has A Flaw Doesn't Mean They Are Flawed
One of the main reasons why I push people away is the fact that I discover that they are less than perfect. It is my own frustration with myself that motivates me to judge them so harshly. My desire for perfection and subsequent disappointment with myself moves me to become disgusted by those who show similar traits and flaws.

When you can find a way to accept yourself more fully, loving others will be a breeze. You may be able to allow someone to love you too. Just because you have a flaw doesn't mean you "ARE" flawed. You are not your ear. Your ear is a part of you.

You are not your flaw. Try offering second chances to those who you recognize as flawed and you'll find you become more accepting of yourself as well.

Watch For The Purpose
Everyone is your teacher, healer or student. Every person you lock eyes with for even a brief moment comes your way in order to add something to your life experience. By pushing people away you rob yourself of the growth you could achieve. By deciding not to relate to others out of fear of being misunderstood or hurt you are pushing away the very things you have been praying for or manifesting deep within your heart. The qualities you need to develop to become the person you want to be are developed through your interactions with PEOPLE.

Once the person you meet has fulfilled their purpose they will magically be moved out of the way so that the next person may enter and play a part in shaping your best life. You don't have to push anyone away. You can watch as they play their roles on their own and dismiss themselves just as easily.

You don't need to control everything by pushing them out of your life. Allow life to adjust itself for you. Relax and see what happens.

Posted in: Relationships