Yesterday I decided to go to my quiet place to listen for my next direction.
I still need 14 businesses to support and the job fair is less than 5 days away. It's going to take a miracle for this to happen but I believe in miracles so I just have to stop pressuring myself.
Last night after I got some quiet time in my mind I felt the urge to "do nothing". This voice that whispered that suggestion was the same voice that told me to take a cross country trip speaking about the Rebuild Your Life Project and it was the same voice that told me to become homeless on purpose.
When I hear that small suggestion, it gives me a spark, a sort of recognition as though I just found a sign that says, "this is the way." But then immediately after I question it and wonder why in the world I would do something like that.
See, whenever we have a goal, it's natural to want to give it your all and to rush and to fight for your dream to be realized. We have the belief that through sweat and tears and struggle can we realize our goals but that is not true. It is through belief, faith and following your inner guidance that we create the world around us. Your inner guidance may not require you to toil and drudge your way through life.
At this time, I'm kind of freaking out a little because I was told to do nothing else about this part of the project. Do nothing? But what about the 14 businesses?
How can I get them if I don't sweat in the sun and beg?
I don't know.
I'll admit. I tried to cheat on this suggestion. I called 3 businesses today and none of them even answered their phones.
Afterwards I thought to myself, "You're not supposed to do anything. That's why nothing has happened." I shook my head and felt sad.
I want to be my own rescuer sometimes. I want to know that I can do things on my own but with certain goals, there is no way. I believe there is a certain order to things in your life, like maybe your life is a grand play that has already been written and certain people have certain roles that they can change at will, if they knew they had the power to do so.
Sitting here, NOT doing anything is tough for me. I look around at all the other people in the shelter and they're doing NOTHING right with me. I don't want to STAY in this situation and honestly, it's become a fear.
My next phase of the journey if the job fair were to ever happen, is to travel the country. With what? I don't even have an itinerary. Why would I receive such an idea? Who cares about what I'm doing?
oooh!
I know who cares!
The team at FINERMINDS.COM does!
Last night after I heard my intuition tell me to do nothing else about the project, I decided to make a video about allowing the divine to direct your path and how I am not going to put any more effort into the job fair. I was so scared to make this video and to put my intention out there but I did it, as directed by my intuition.
As soon as I posted the video on youtube I checked my email and I had an email from the team at FINERMINDS. It read:
Hi Te-Erika
I hope you're well and are having a great week.
Just wanted to connect with you and let you know that we've posted your story on our blog, FinerMinds. We think it's really inspirational what you've been doing and think that you will inspire a lot of women out there.
Here's our post: http://www.finerminds.com/
Best wishes, and best of luck
Did Finer Minds write about ME?
ME?
No, not ME?
I'm just Te-Erika. I'm not a finer mind!
Wait. Yes, I am!
I have been reading Finer Minds for years, gaining inspiration and wisdom because they always have something juicy to read or be inspired by. I considered them to be the ultimate in daily inspiration and they only feature the best of the best in inspiration leaders.
Yet, they wrote about ME.
Me?
Me, who is sitting here on a cot swatting flies away on the patio of a homeless shelter. Me, who doesn't even own a purse and who has a vision to tour the country and I don't have a dime to my name.
Me?
HELL YEAH!
I cried. I howled. I'm sure people thought someone had died,but for me, reading about myself on FinerMinds was an affirmation that I am more than just a nice pair of legs and a cute face. I am one of the best in inspiration.
I belong on that site too!
I am so elated that I have been walking on air all day. This feels too good to be true. A site that I read for inspiration is inspiring its readers through ME.
It is so amazing to be me right now. I don't have everything together but I am following my still voice. Regardless of the outcome, it feels so good to be me right now.
1 comments:
You are helping more people than you realize... Just wanted to let you know! Thank you!!!
Love (All) Always,
Jana : )
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