REVIEW: DisFIGURED (2008)

When Darcy (Staci Lawrence), a recovering anorexic meets Lydia (Deidra Edwards), an obese sales clerk, their lives interwine in a way you could never imagine. Although physically, Lydia is Darcy's worst nightmare, she decides that the two should be friends and they team up to discuss and hold hands as they wade through the impact their body image and eating habits have had on their lives in the movie DisFIGURED.

This is an amazing story of two friends on opposite ends of the same battle with their body image. Lydia wants very badly to be thin and Darcy wants to stop thinking that she's fat. When Lydia asks Darcy to teach her how to be anorexic so that she can lose weight too, the two showcase an indepth look inside the mind of an anorexic that is unexplainable. When Lydia wants to break her new 'diet' we experience with her the battle over the happiness binging on food brings.

I was captivated at every moment and couldn't decide if I wanted Lydia's character to lose weight or to be happy being obese. I wanted Darcy to lighten up and enjoy life without critiquing herself so much. She is amazingly thin, how could she perceive herself as fat? It's a mental struggle that can't be won with words, rewards or lost inches.

This is an amazing movie. The conversations seem so authentic that you held your breath as they had their exchanges. Who would have thought that two extremely different women could be so much alike and face the same type of criticisms from the people who love them. I have a different kind of compassion for women who are battling body image issues. After watching this movie I decided to love my body no matter what. Besides, it's only transportation for the real essence of who I am.

You can buy this movie on Amazon.

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10 Cool Lunchbox Stuffers To Make Your Child Smile

If you have big kids like my 9 and 11 year olds, they're probably way too cool for Mommy's handwritten 'I Love You' notes. It's okay, if you're an involved parent who loves to make your child smile even when you aren't around, try these 10 Cool Ideas For Lunchbox Stuffers.

Fortune Cookies

Mini Magic 8 Ball

Scratch Off Tickets


Homemade Coupons

Eye Loupes


French Chocolate Bar



Mood Rings


Money


Magnetic Rocks


Friendship Bracelets

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EDITORIAL: Cornell West Says We Must Learn To Die To Truly Live

By Christina Fermin
Society & Politics

I recently went to a lecture given by Dr. Cornell West, a philosopher, author, critic and civil rights activist who teaches at Princeton University. His lecture was about empowering our youth. While I may have heard of who Dr. West was and had a general idea of what he was about, his lecture the other night was inspiring beyond anything you could ever read about him. One of the most captivating parts of his speech was his talk about how one must learn to die. Of course, he doesn’t mean literally, but metaphorically. There comes a moment in life where one must take a hard look at the beliefs, judgments, presuppositions or ideas about who we are and make adjustments.

We as humans go through various transformations in our lives and reevaluate who we are as people. Some may go through many and others will only do this a few times, but nevertheless, this is one of the most important components of being human. Learning to die is not an easy task, and it can be an emotional roller coaster, but doing so will save much heartache, pain and suffering in the long run. It is an essential process for growth in this existence, just as a crab sheds its shell to grow another one. We must learn to shed our outer shell so that we go deeper and more inward than we went before. Without these transformations we are just outer shells with no real meat or meaning inside.

Getting involved, volunteering, becoming part of a club or organization will assist in one’s personal development. The trick is to enter an environment where you are not entirely comfortable and you are forced to mingle and think outside of your comfort zone. Traveling outside of the United States will also do this and it will do this at an accelerated pace. There is no better way to learn about the world and who you are than to travel where you are constantly questioning everything. There is also no quicker way to gain confidence and find out what you’re made of than to spend some time away from home. Anytime that I have spent traveling has always taught me some valuable lessons in life and I learn so much about myself and what it means to be alive.

While it may be one of the most frightening things to do, it is necessary. If we are to fulfill our destiny and understand our journey here we have to go through a transformation. As a matter of fact we must go through several transformations. Essentially we must learn to die. In learning how to die, we face our worst fears, we re-prioritize our lives and we discover things about ourselves and life that we just did not understand before. Change is good, transformation is frightening. Learning to face your fear and moving onward is fantastic. If we are to evolve as humans and get to the next level, these things have to happen.

In my short life I have gone through some transformations already and each one scary and intimidating. Every time I have done it, I come out stronger, more prepared and with a deeper understanding of myself and the things that occur around me. As I gear up for the next one, I wonder how my future will be. When was the last time you took a hard look at yourself? When was the last time you went through a transformation? Are the walls crumbling around you? Have you lost your job? Are you getting married or going through a divorce? If you feel as though you have recently been struck with bad luck, it could be life just telling you it’s about that time. Take a good look at your life and reevaluate, re-prioritize and embrace the changes being made, how else are we to be a better people. In order for our lives to blossom we must go through the rabbit hole and out the other side.

About the Columnist

With a bachelors degree in political science from Florida Atlantic University, Christina Fermin has always cultivated her love for history, politics, sociology, ancient knowledge and teachings, the outdoors, the ocean and the environment. Christina strives to make our world better by helping us all create a new reality and understanding of all taking place here and now. You can reach her at Christina@MySavvySisters.Com.

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5 Reasons Trendy Women Aren't Cool

You see them everywhere you go. You may even admire them for being up on the latest of everything, from shoes to hairstyles to vacation spots. They know where the hot spots are and they know how to put an outfit together with no problem.

But there IS a problem. These trendy women are not role models for My Savvy Sisters. Here's why...

1. They are FOLLOWERS. They research and imitate what they see other people doing, wearing and going. Who wants to wear the latest styles if it means having someone else dictate what the latest styles are.

2. They won't take a risk. You ever wonder why the trendiest people seem to fall behind in social trends that matter? It's because they won't take a risk to create a trend, they're always waiting for someone else to pave the way and tell them what to do next so they'll feel safe.

3. They're stalkers. They are too busy watching others so they will know what to wear, where to go and how to think that they pay very little attention to their own personal growth.

4. They're broke. Do you know how much money has to be invested in the art of keeping up with trends? They should be more like My Savvy Sisters and invest that money into something that will give them financial freedom but they won't because to them, image is everything.

5. They're always late. By the time the trendy woman figures out what the latest trend is, the trend SETTERS are already making a new one. Think about how long it took people to shift to Facebook or how many trendy people you know who have moved to a certain city only AFTER everyone they know has moved there.

Seriously, you could continue comparing yourself to them or you can decide to celebrate your own uniqueness. It's okay NOT to be trendy, have the best outfits and be in the hot spots. Create your own hot spots that are unique to you and let your soul glow too!

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My Savvy Sister of The Week- Kimberly Ang

What do you do when you’ve graduated college and you haven’t landed your dream job yet? Twenty-two year old Kimberly Ang had no idea either so she decided to take a year off to take the GRE’s, apply for grad school ad figure out her next step. After fumbling around taking odd jobs and trying to find her niche, she partnered with Amber Rackliffe to create their own.

Give Your Gap is an amazing project that offers a solution to the post graduate blues. If you can’t figure out what life after college means, why not give yourself the time and space to help others before you enter the workforce?

Amber and Kimberly created Give Your Gap to offer an alternative to toiling away at dead end jobs in between your college graduation and finding the perfect career opportunity. Give Your Gap encourages new graduates to work for non profits and social businesses on a global scale.

Women like Caryn Oppenheim who graduated from Bowdoin College interned fro a grassroots NGO, EduCARE in India for 3 months. Megan Leatherman, a University of Oregon graduate, has devoted her gap to human rights and community development work at the Kayan-Feminist Organization in the Middle East.

Graduates from across the country are flipping what many would consider to be a lull in life into one of the best adventures ever.

For Kimberly, a California native, the adventure began with lots of trepidation. “I think the biggest mental block is legitimizing the idea to yourself. As in, not thinking you are crazy,” Kimberly says. “Amber and I questioned if it was a good idea, if we could do it, if we could finance it, etc. As people started joining our team, giving us positive and critical feedback - that's when we knew we could really roll with the idea.”

You don’t have to wait years to see your daydreams become reality, the concept for Give Your Gap was fleshed out in August 2011 and a few months later, the website was launched. “Running a website is pretty inexpensive,” Kimberly shares. “ We've paid for the domain out of pocket and we use Wordpress, a very user-friendly platform. We registered ourselves as a volunteer organization, opened a bank account, and we are fully operational. I wouldn't say our dreams have already come true: GiveYourGap is still a work in progress. There's a lot that lies ahead - fundraising, website development, partnering with other organizations, etc. But we feel the organization growing every day.”

Right now Kimberly is traveling through Asia with the GiveYourGap Travel Team. They are hop-skipping around Asia meeting with nonprofits, NGOs, and social enterprises to learn more about what young people can do in global development. “We started our trip in the Philippines and have since traveled to Indonesia, Singapore, Malaysia, India, and right now we're in Nepal. Theoretically, we are working-playing 50/50. We arrive in a country, try to get a bit of our bearings, meet up with a nonprofit, do interviews and meet with volunteers, and try to share what we learn on www.giveyourgap.org," Kimberly tells us.

Besides work, Kimberly and her team are backpacking, sightseeing, eating amazing cheap eats, couchsurfing and exploring cultures.

“We have met so many people on the road that have given their gaps and learned first hand about global issues,” Kimberly says. “Whether you are working in public health, economic development, education, environmentalism - getting out in the field gives you a much broader and deeper perspective of development. And what every person tells us is that in addition to learning all this stuff about their work, they learn even more about themselves. They learn how much more they're capable of, discover what types of things they really don't want to do, what things they are super passionate about.”

Kimberly offers sound advice for women who are considering starting a new venture. “Surround yourself with people who (1) believe in you and (2) are honest with you,” Kimberly advises. “Listen to them when they say, ‘This is a great idea,’ and when they say, ‘You need to take a break.’ Your core group will keep you grounded, sane, and inspired. No woman is an island!”

For more information about this fascinating initiative, please visit www.giveyourgap.org

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How To Talk To Your Child About Trayvon Martin's Death

After the tragic slaying of 17-year-old Trayvon Martin in Sanford, Florida last month, the neighborhood watchmen who pulled the trigger, 28-year-old George Zimmerman is still not in police custody. This incident prompting marches, demonstrations, walk-outs and protests from angry people across the country who believe Zimmerman should have been arrested for shooting an unarmed teenager walking home from the store.

Millions across the country have donned hoodies, the same type of head covering Martin was wearing the night of his murder, to show their support of Trayvon Martin's parents as they plead with the Sanford police department to make an arrest as an act of justice for the murder of their son. This tragedy is directly related to a racist attitude due to a racial slur Zimmerman made during a 911 call where he reported that a suspicious man was walking down the street who he later confronted and shot dead.


As adults we can't ignore what happened simply because this incident is becoming a nationwide outcry. What brings this issue close to home is more than a look at the state of racist attitudes in this country, this incident yields way to a sense of fear and grief for all parents. Our children are hearing about this incident at school, they are watching our reactions and will internalize what this means to them and how they view and interact with the world.

Regardless of how you feel about it or how it stirs up negative emotions and memories in your own life, it is wholly important to plant seeds of peace into the lives of our children by discussing this incident honestly using it as a life lesson to teach about trust, safety and the warped mentality of racism.

Here's how-

1. Ask your child what he knows about the issue. Be sure to ask in a flat, non emotional manner that doesn't extend your personal opinions or prejudices.
2. Gauge how he feels about it by how he recounts what he has heard. It is common for children to feel scared or angry after hearing about the death of a child.
3. Ask him if he has any questions about the issue.
4. Gauge how he feels about the issue by listening to his tone and watching his body language. You know your child's verbal cues. If your child is indifferent, he may feel that this situation does not affect him. If your child is indifferent, don't push the issue with him. Skip to #6
5. Answer any questions with facts that do not perpetuate the problem. Using racial slurs and curse words will infect your child with your own prejudices and this is unfair to them as they learn to interact with the world. Yes, you may be angry but your child does not have to be.
6. Remind your child that not every person in the world behaves the way George Zimmerman did.
7. Make an action plan with your child that dictates what he should do if he is alone and he feels that someone is following him.
8. Talk to your child about the root of racism. Explain that racist people do not like themselves and need to criticize and condemn another group of people so that they will feel better about themselves. Explain that generalizations about any race or group of people is ignorant because no two people are the same.
9. Tell your child that they don't need anyone's acceptance or approval in this world in order to know that they are loved, capable of achieving their dreams and purposed here.
10. Tell your child you love him and there's nothing he could ever do to change that. Remind him that if he ever wants to talk about this incident or anything else, you are there to listen. Give a quick hug or a pat on the back and tell him to go read a book.
    

You've done your part and all that is left for you to do is to continue to be an example of how to live and interact in this world. Your child is watching.

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How To Survive- Facing A Foreclosure

You can't believe you're going through this. Just a few years ago you seemed to be on top of the world. You bought a new house and spent so much time personalizing it, adding the finishing touches to make it your own and then out of the blue, a hurricane seemed to hit your life and you couldn't make it stop.

Now, the bank is calling and you are so far behind on your house payments that any day now you know you will receive that dreaded letter notifying you of your foreclosure. You're angry. You're frustrated with yourself. You don't know how to make the pain stop because you feel like you're failing at life. Before you decide that you are a failure consider these facts:

• Owning a home does not define your worth as a person.
• If you went through the process of buying and maintaining a home, you have gained a valuable skill and you can do it again. It will be easier next time.
• This is NOT the last home you will own.
• Your home is inside of you, it is never an external place.
• Sometimes you have to take a step backwards, to be free to move forward.
  
• If you have ever had a scar and watched it heal, this blemish on your financial record will heal in the same manner. Don't berate yourself over it.
• Nothing is permanent. Your time in this home may be over, but that doesn't mean it isn't a success story. It is simply another milestone in your life journey.
• Being released from this obligation could lead to the biggest adventure of your life.

Now that you've been introduced to these truths, make plans for the next leg of your journey. Whether it means you have to downsize or move in with relatives, remember that everything happens for a reason. This is serendipity waiting to happen. Look for the blessing and you will find it.

Be at peace. Everything is going to be okay. One day you will look back and this and it will all be a faint memory, just another day in your life story.

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The Missing Key To Success

We're out here grinding, taking risks, being innovative and fearless. We have the knowledge and skillset to succeed, but we are missing one key ingredient to achieving our success. Understanding this key will lead you to emotional freedom and satisfaction simply because once you master it you will no longer experience the frustration of a dream yet realized.

Are you ready for the secret behind every success story you've ever heard of?

Here goes-

The key to success is BEING FAITHFUL WHERE YOU ARE.

Don't be shocked and disappointed. Learning to activate this key will bring you an unparalleled level of peace because you'll be able to build a much firmer foundation for your success. No, I'm not talking about being complacent. I'm trying to help you understand that where you are right now is the perfect place to be in your journey toward your goal.

As you take steps, building your dream brick by brick, being patient and faithful where you are is a skill set that will travel with you when you reach your next level. Your dream fulfilled will not end there. It is very likely that after the dream is fulfilled, you will have to work just as hard to maintain it. That is where this key comes into play. Life is never really a resting place. Our minds are consistently yearning for new experiences and new circumstances so your restlessness will probably never go away.

Learning to be faithful where you are and enjoying the process of the creation of your dreams is an AHA moment that is unmatched in satisfaction. So go ahead and relax a little as you sort through your daily to-do list and understand that today will one day be a memory that you should be able to look back on and smile.

You're okay. You're headed in the right direction. You've done all you can and you're still inventing ways to do more. You are awesome. Just keep moving your hands and making wishes with your heart and you'll get there.

Be faithful where you are. Do your best everyday, even during the times you feel small. Your faithfulness will be rewarded.

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5 Reasons You Should Dump Your Bestfriend

It's been 20 years since you met. You've gone through almost everything together, first boyfriends, losing your virginity, first heartbreak, college entrance exams and even trudging through university.

Now that you're officially adults with the bullet wounds to prove it, somehow, her presence in your life doesn't seem as appealing as it once was. Sometimes, when you look at her, you still see the little girl you shared lunch with back when you were teens but you're aching to move on from that time of your life.

You don't want to seem like a bad person, but you've outgrown the conversations, the stories and the repetitiveness of life. You try to talk yourself out of it, but it becomes even more clear, you want a break from this relationship so you can clear your head a bit.

Here are 5 Reasons Why You Should Dump Your Bestfriend

1. She depends on you to help her make all of her important decisions.
If you have a friend who desperately needs you to help make the little decisions in life, chances are she has become dependent on you. You may think to yourself, "But she needs me." No, what she needs is to learn how to stand on her own. It's a wonderful thing to be there for a friend in need but it's even better to let her learn how to become dependent on herself.

2. She competes with you for the 'woe is me' award.
For every sad circumstance you face, your BFF has an even more dramatic and victimizing story. She allows you to make excuses for not being your best self and coddles you when you're feeling like a failure. This is not a good friend to have in your corner because she's secretly enabling you to remain stagnant.

3. She believes drama is a standard part of every romantic relationship.
Every relationship has a bit of drama, or so she believes. When her man cheats on her or is emotionally abusive to her, she chalks it up to the ebb and flow of the relationship and is patient enough to wait it out, hoping he'll change his ways. She encourages you to do the same and you do follow suit, until you find yourself alone with 3 kids from 3 different fathers and no one to turn to for help.

4. She's afraid to fail.
There's no greater detriment to a mover and shaker than someone who constantly reminds them that the risks outweigh the rewards. She wants you to stay with her and be comfortable, even though she is generally unhappy. She encourages you by saying, "You can't change the world."

5. Still complaining about the same things she complained about 10 years ago.
It was cute when you were teenagers but the same old sob stories are getting old. How many times can you hear, "I think he's cheating on me." How many times will you have to repeat the same words of encouragement to the same person who simply does not get it? You want to grow but this relationship that was once a benefit to you, actually seems like a burden these days.


So, how do you get the monkey off your back without seeming like a cruel and evil friend? First, you have to understand that every relationship has its season. You don't have to END your friendship but you can make some adjustments that will give you the freedom you need to grow.

Try:
1. Answering every other call you receive from her.
2. Call her back only after you have done work towards your goals each day.
3. Tell her you'll call her back when she goes in on those 'woe is me' stories.
4. Tell her that you believe she can figure things out on her own and to call you back when she has made a decision.

You aren't abandoning your friend, you're simply making adjustments for your own growth and success. Hopefully your friend will learn to ride life's waves with you. If not, you can still be proud of yourself because you have been a good friend while it lasted.

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VIDEO: Be Fearless Like The Honey Badger

According to this video, the Honey Badger is the most fearless animal alive. It is willing to take bee stings, animal attacks and even a cobra bite just to satisfy its hunger.

What are you hungry for? Is fear of being stung holding you back? Learn how not giving a shit will get you where you want to be, just like the Honey Badger, cuz, the Honey Badger doesn't give a shit when it's going after its goal.

VIDEO BELOW:

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How To Win An Argument In Less Than 2 Minutes

Are you tired of going around in circles by trying to prove your point during an argument? Do you find that the longer you talk, scream and throw things, they still don't understand you?

Today I'm going to teach you how to win any argument in less than 2 minutes. This technique will leave your verbal sparring partner at a loss for words and you will have the victory in the end.

The argument begins

"I asked you to buy orange juice," you say as your bewildered partner shows up with lemonade.

"No, you didn't. You just asked for juice," your partner counters back.

"Yes, I did. You did the same thing last week when I asked you to get the tires rotated and you came back with new tires."

"The car needed new tires!"

"No it didn't, they just needed a rotation! But just like the simpleton you are, you let the sales guy talk you into spending $400 on new tires that we don't need. This is coming out of YOUR paycheck, not mine buddy!"

"I am so tired of you and this blame game!" your partner shouts. "I can't do anything right in your eyes! I told you, the tires needed to be replaced!"

Your eyes grow wide as you imagine....

This is the point where you can begin to scream at your partner about everything that they do wrong in life, listing countless examples of their obvious loss of competency and/or hearing or...

you can simply say- "You may be right. I'm sorry."

WHAT?!!!

But I'M right! Why should I back down?

2 Reasons. 1) Confuse the engager 2) You win.

By softly admitting that you could be wrong, you confuse the person you are engaging in an argument with because they are high on adrenaline and ready to release all of the tension in their lives on you. You let the air out of their balloon by agreeing with them, which causes them to step back and examine your face and your motives.

Smile sweetly. You can even bow and blow them a kiss.

If you really want to sucker punch them say something like, "You're the King."

Be sincere about it though, any hint of sarcasm will push them to start railing on you verbally. Then to put the icing on the cake, make dinner for them.


A nice dinner will do the trick. Make something they love and when you serve it to them, do it with a smile. They will be afraid to eat it and will walk on egg shells around you, wondering what you are up to. This can last for weeks if you keep up the good girl behavior long enough and there will be no arguments during this time because they are waiting for you to explode.

You can go in the bathroom to laugh at them and never let on that you tricked them.

There is nothing wrong with admitting you could be wrong, even when you know that you are right, it saves a lot of hassle and debate unless you simply LOVE the make up sex- in that case- argue away!

For My Savvy Sisters: How do you handle arguments with the people you love? Do your tactics work?

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7 Things Your Child Needs To Hear You Say

Our words speak life into the lives of our children. More than child birth, the words we share with them shape who they are as children and who they will become as adults. In essence, we are mini Gods to them and in playing this role we should try to impart as much encouragement as we can so that they will feel safe, loved and valued.

If you haven't already, please take the time to whisper these 7 phrases to your child at some point in their early childhood development and watch your child's quality of life soar.



1. Everyone makes mistakes.
When your child makes a mistake you might be quick to administer a swift punishment to teach him a lesson. Soon, they will come to expect these punishments as a result of every mistake. It may be a good idea to surprise them by offering grace every so often. By letting your child know that everyone makes mistakes and letting them off with a warning, they will learn to forgive themselves and move on more quickly when they make an undesirable decision in their adult lives.

2. I love you.
We tend to show love the best way we know how. We make sure our children are fed, have clothes are entertained and have a decent place to live. For many parents, this is their way of showing love but it is also important to SAY the actual words.

Children are forming their idea of this world by how parents treat them and what they see in books and on television. In their little minds, your taking care of their needs may be something they feel you are obligated to do so they won't equate love with their well-being. They won't even know how much effort it takes to provide for them until they have children of their own. Instead of simply buying them the things you wished you had as a child, be sure to let them know, "I do this because I love you."

3. I'm glad you were born.
Even though this sounds a little cheesy, it's actually a good practice to have on every birthday your child celebrates. To know that their parent appreciates that they are alive will ease their fears about the world and allow them to feel purpose and loved. They will carry this feeling with them into adulthood and have more healthy and meaningful relationships with others.

4. Everything is going to be okay.
When a child does something that is out of line we rush to correct them but it is also important that after the correction, we allow them the relief of knowing that everything is okay. Children live in their own little cocoon where they are the center of the world and they often mirror our reactions to events and circumstances. No matter how devastating the event may be in our own lives or their world, a simple assurance that everything will be okay will be like a message sent from the heavens because if Mom said it, it must be true.

5. Sleep tight.
It's 9pm and all you want to do is have a glass of wine and fall asleep with your laptop next to you but before you rush your kids into their beds it is important that you give them a well wish. As your child falls asleep this well wish will linger in their minds and they will rest better and lull them to sleep like the most beautiful lullaby.

6. You're the best thing that ever happened to me.
Even if your kids drive you crazy, at some point in their lives you should pull each one to the side and make this statement. It's not about lieing to your children, it's about letting them know that their presence in your life is valued and their existence is cherished. The best age to say this to your child is before they hit middle school and everything you say evokes an eye roll.

7. We're having breakfast for dinner.
Outside of not being able to afford a decent meal and having to disguise your lack of resources as fun, having breakfast for dinner and announcing it to the kids is a playful way to show them that it's okay to break the rules sometimes and it will spice up your home life and your child's heart.


For My Savvy Sisters: What did your parents say to you that made you smile and feel loved as a child?

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