REBUILD: Hop In Your Car For A Dollar

Would it be too weird of me to say I'm gonna miss this place?

I know I'm supposed to show the horrors of homeless living but if you count the guy who farts all day or the stinch of stinky feet there's really no horror.

These people are weirdos, but so am I.

I fit in but I don't. None of us fit in but together we make sense.

I'm extremely horny. Everyone else is too.

If I don't get to see the man who "finds" clothes and tries to sell them for crack money, I feel sad. Everything he has is "brand new" and "only $2." I bought 3 pairs of pants for $2 one time. I'm wearing a pair right now.

Then there's an older lady who uses curse words that were outlawed in the biblical days. She "finds" prescription drugs and tries to sell them to everyone else.

There's a lady here who has 3 men fighting over her. "I don't know what to do, Tee," she said. I laughed and laughed. Her ex came one night and sat outside, crying and crying because she won't see him.

There's drama everyday and I wake up smiling to see what will happen next.

I've come to really like the people here even when I'm angry because I need affection so badly and I take it out on everybody by being a bitch.

"I hate you!" I'll announce to everyone and feel better after saying it. Until I get a real hug, I hate everyone.

Today was a rainy day out on the streets asking for donations for the paper. I still made good money because there were plenty of men out driving today and my shorts are so short it looks like I'm not wearing anything. My tanned and toned legs bring in the donations, even on a rainy day.

While I'm on the median and walking back and forth through traffic my mind is buzzing with all kinds of thoughts like:

What will my baby with Kanye look like?
How long will it take to get out of here?
Men are waving me over to their cars with $1 bills in their hands; I feel like a prostitute.

In fact, a man propositioned me today.

"Why don't you come with me to my house for a couple of hours," he suggested.

I laughed and called my Mom.

"Mama! I think I got my first offer for prostitution!"

"Ewww," she said. "How much?"

I laughed.

"Is that gonna be your next 'assignment'?" she asked.

"Mama! I told you I'm gonna be a dominatrix next!"

Posted in: Rebuild Your Life