REBUILD: All I Need

My son's 11th birthday was 2 days ago.

I got to spend it with him and his brother. They came over to my house and we went to Denny's and had dessert and then walked over to the movies to see The Smurfs. We came back home and cuddled until we all fell asleep. I slept ALL night, which is unusual for me but Whenever I'm with my boys, for some reason, I can rest.

Then we woke up this morning and went to the beach. It was the PERFECT beach day! The water was shallow and the waves weren't high. We played around on the coast for a while then we picked a restaurant at random and my son chose the seafood pizza which was very awesome because he usually doesn't like to try new things. The pizza was spectacular! I can still taste it right now. OMG! I'd love some more! Then I let them rent those unicycle bicycle type things to ride up and down the boardwalk while I took a nap.

We grabbed icecream cones before taking the bus back home.

All in all we had a wonderful time and man, I am so glad to have a home to take them to.

The project is winding down and I am so glad. I just have 2 more videos to make. I want to introduce my new housemates and then I want to go back to the spot where I filmed my first video for this project and tape a conclusion. Hopefully I'll get this done this week.

I have court tomorrow for the traffic tickets. Everytime I think about it I think about the man who sold me the car without the right title and then how I had to drive the damn car and I get so angry at men and I feel so stupid for always being so trusting of people.

I think I'm a very stupid person for always thinking people have good intentions. This project has enlightened me so much about the nature of people and their ways and it's not for the better. I have no desire to meet new people outside of work. I have no desire to make new friends. I think about the older man a lot because it feels good to think of him, but I have never met a man I liked who liked me back. I'm a handful and difficult and mean sometimes.

I really just want to have fun with my sons and be able to treat them to new experiences and I'd like a car and a quiet place to live with a strong wifi connection. That's really all I need.

All that extra shit, I'm not into anymore. I feel like I was trying to prove something to myself before and now I don't have to.

All I need is to have more days with my sons where I make them laugh and we can sleep together in comfort and I can afford to let them try new things. That's all I need.

Oh yeah. Let's not forget the 5 bars of wi-fi.

Very important.

Posted in: Rebuild Your Life