Create Your Own Adventure

Are you ready to spice up your life? There's only one sure-fire way. It's a secret.

How To Find Answers To All of Life's Questions

Do you want wisdom? There are 3 ways to find it.

Review: Vicky Christina Barcelona (2008)

Vicky Christina Barcelona weaves a tale of transformation of two besties who visit Barcelona for the summer unaware that the trip will challenge their current belief systems.

Survival Series: How To Survive A First Date

If you're ready to begin dating again, you'll need to know these mental strategies to make the most of it.

Where Is My Success?

Have you been toiling away for years and don't see any rewards?

Thursday, May 17, 2012

REVIEW: Fabuloso All Purpose Cleaner


The days of the reign of Pine Sol are over. Fabuloso All Purpose Cleaner is fast becoming the cleaning agent of choice for My Savvy Sisters.

The lavender scent leaves the room smelling fresh without adding air fresheners that pollute the environment. Floors are sparkling clean and counter tops never shined brightly.

And if you add a little Fabuloso to a boiling pot of water, it will permeate through your entire household adding the fresh scent to every piece of clothing that you own. Your curtains will never smell better!

You can buy it at Walmart, Dollar General for just $2 for the 32 ounce bottle.

We highly recommend this product.

Approved for My Savvy Sisters!

The Secret Love Lives of American Muslim Women

Ayesha Mattu, 39, of San Francisco and Nura Maznavi, 33, of Los Angeles have come together to produce the groundbreaking book, Love, InshAllah: The Secret Love Lives of American Muslim Women. In the book, 25 writers sweep aside stereotypes to share their real-life romances and the pursuit of love in the modern world. From singles events and online dating, to college flirtations and arranged marriages, all with a uniquely Muslim twist, the writers represent a broad spectrum of ethnic/racial backgrounds and religious outlooks speaking openly for the first time about love, dating, relationships, gender, identity, and sexuality.

MySavvySisters caught up with Ayesha Mattu and asked her to elaborate on the common misconceptions of Muslim women and her hopes for the book’s influence on our culture.

MSS: What is the biggest misconception that the western world has about Muslim women in regards to love and relationships? How do you think this concept was constructed?

Ayesha: The biggest misconception is, quite simply, that we are veiled, submissive creatures who marry out of duty, not love. In fact, the word “love” is almost never paired with the words “Muslim woman” in the minds of most people.

The past few centuries have been tumultuous ones for Muslim communities and countries globally. Interestingly, in “Western representations of the Muslim woman” Dr. Mohja Kahf talks about how the perceptions of Muslim women have changed over time. During medieval and Renaissance times, European writers portrayed Muslim women in exactly the opposite way, as forceful queens of wanton and intimidating sexuality. She posits that these shifting images of Muslim women are linked to changes in Western relations with the Islamic world, as well as to changing gender dynamics within both societies.

MSS: Your book is a collection of stories about love in the Muslim world that tackles taboo topics like homosexuality, interracial relationships and blending cultural lines. How were you able to get women to discuss these issues openly? What was your reaction to them sharing their stories?

Ayesha: We gathered stories over the course of five years. We spent that time developing deep, trusting relationships with each writer. Because so many Muslim women have had their own words used against them in media interviews or other contexts, we made it clear to each writer that she would have full control over her own narrative and that the final version of her story would only be published with her full approval and consent.

We were happily surprised at the hundreds of responses to our national call for stories. Their willingness to engage with such deeply personal issues was and remains inspirational to us!

MSS: What was your personal motivation behind developing this book?

Ayesha: Much has been written about Muslim women, but very little has been by Muslim women ourselves. We thought it was about time we started telling our own stories. And what better stories to share than love stories, which have a universal appeal? We are all seeking to love and be loved for who we are. Sharing these personal stories gives us all a chance to connect heart to heart, beyond the headlines.

MSS: Can you share a personal story about coming to terms with your own desires for love that illustrates why the message from this book is important?

Ayesha: Many people don’t associate the idea of love with Muslim women, and they also don’t associate it with the religion of Islam. This view is so pervasive that as a child of the West, I didn’t associate those values with Islam either. It wasn’t until I was in my twenties when I started reading the mystical poets of Islam – Rumi, Hafiz, Rabia Al-Adawiyyah, Bulleh Shah and others – that I realized my birthright.

One of the names of God is Al-Wadud (the Loving). He created the world from love, and love is at the core of Islam. Love for our spouse, children, parents, neighbors and the earth are all central to our spiritual teachings. Realizing that helped me connect to a joyful, loving and creative Islam. I want to share that – all the facets that love can take - with others through this book. Ultimately, love is what makes us human.

MSS: How have men in the Muslim community reacted to this book?

Ayesha: They’ve been very supportive! A third of our advance readers were men, and they whole-heartedly endorsed the book. During our 5-city book tour in early to mid-February about a third of the audiences were men, and many of them requested a sequel written from their perspective!

MSS: How do you hope Love, InshAllah will influence modern romantic thought?

Ayesha: There are many possibilities before us. The book is being taught at universities, read by interfaith groups, and selected by book clubs. Counselors, thought leaders and religious figures are using it to engage in conversation with their constituencies and congregations about the issues raised up by the writers, who speak openly about both the joys and challenges of being a Muslim woman in America today.

We hope the book gets picked up in international markets and is translated into other languages. A male sequel is a possibility. We would love to see Love InshAllah go global so that Muslim women in different countries – France, Indonesia, India, Nigeria & elsewhere - can share their own stories. The Muslim community in the US is the most diverse in the world including people from every country imaginable and those whose roots stretch back to the founding of this country. The context changes from country to country so it would be interesting to see the similarities and differences between Muslim women.

And we’ve been asked repeatedly to turn this into a screenplay so maybe Love InshAllah will be coming to a theater near you sometime in the future!

Check out these ladies at

Check out these ladies at www.loveinshAllah.com

Twitter @LoveinshAllah

Facebook https://www.facebook.com/LoveInshAllah

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

5 Ways You Make Yourself Miserable


You're miserable and you're doing it to yourself. Don't believe me? Test your mentality against these 5 habits and see how you actually have control over your misery.

1. Demanding that life be exactly the way you want it to be.
We hope that life will be a fairy tale but it's really not. There are certain things about life that you can't control and you will have to accept that. Your life satisfaction is based around how well you react to the situations you can't control.

When things don't play out as you envisioned them, you have to know that it's not the end of the world. You have to understand that you are not the CEO of this planet and you can't force people to obey your every whim. It's okay if life turns out differently than what you expected, in fact, I guarantee that it will. Our fantasies are idealized and once achieved on even the smallest levels, the bliss associated with them loses its luster. Stop demanding that you have exactly what you want when you want it and you'll see a difference in your happiness level.

2. Expecting others to treat you the way you would treat them.
It makes perfect sense. YOU would never borrow a pair of jeans and not return them but when Janna does, it makes you think something is wrong with her. Why? Janna was born with a different set of ideals and morals than you were. It may have been common in her household to share clothing and trade other items.

When others treat you differently than the way you would treat them it isn't an indication of YOUR VALUE, it is an indication of how that person values the interaction and their view of the world. Nothing anyone does has anything to do with you. Everyone interacts in this world according to their perspective of it. People who are critical are critical of themselves and the world. People who are generous, want that kind of treatment in return. It's never about you, its about how the person feels in this world; their actions let you know.


3. Chasing the illusion of success.
Sure, you've been taught that you need to have a big house, a shiny car, awards on your wall and a cutie by your side but is that really what success is about. Why are you so hard on yourself because you don't have what others have? Who is judging you? You are really the only judge in your life.

We build and we build. We compete and we win. We grow and we want to everyone to remember our names, but it's not really necessary because their approval doesn't matter. We set these lofty goals for achievement to prove to ourselves and others that our lives meant something but no one taking a tally. Redefine success for yourself, it can be whatever you want it to be without causing you to feel bad everytime you turn on television or watch your friends walk by at the mall. It's an illusion that you do not have to buy into.

4. Believing that this life is a test for a more permanent existence.
This is not a test. No one is judging your performance with a score card. The next round is not the elimination round. This is your chance to experience bliss, love, peace and growth.

There is no need to feel that you will be condemned forever for mistakes you make or habits you develop as a result of living in this society. You choose your own fate by how you choose to view yourself and your role in this world. This is your life. Let your fears go, no one is watching.

5. Believing that romantic love is the greatest love of all.
I know. It's beautiful to watch in the movies. It's great to fantasize about. If it played out like most romantic comedies do, it would rank among the most satisfying experiences in life but, romantic love is not THE life experience to end all life experiences.

You have a 50/50 shot at finding a one true love. You can take the time to cry now if you want but the truth is, life doesn't begin with a romantic partnership. It's okay if that one person who understands you and loves you all the same happens to be your mother or your bestfriend. You can enjoy sex for the pleasure of it without it leading to a permanent relationship.

Nothing is permanent. If you have ever had the chance to look into the eyes of someone who really cares about you and would do anything to see you happy, you've experienced the highest point of romance already. You've done it. Linger in the bliss of that memory and check that goal off of your to-do list. There are other experiences to have that are equally as rewarding and thrilling. Go out and see.

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

11 Ways To DeStress Your Experience With Mail Order Pharmacies


By Kitty K. Free

As a mail-order pharmacy service rep, I’ve learned a lot that I’d like to share. The following are some things I wish I could tell my patients, but am not always able to. I’ll spare you my complete feelings about the act of profiting, by charging people ridiculous amounts of money, for life saving medications.

Don’t get me wrong—there should be a fee, but, it should be affordable, like over the counter meds. People shouldn’t go broke, or die, because they can’t afford meds. There was a time, long ago, when medicines were created solely to help people, not to profit from them. In any case, here are some things to help you, have as easy a time as possible, dealing with your pharmacy:


1. No one cares about your medication more than you. If you’re expecting meds in the mail, but haven’t heard anything about it, call your pharmacy! I’ve encountered many patients that are waiting for medications for days, even weeks. Stay on top of it. You are your biggest advocate.

2. See about copay assistance programs. Check with the manufacturer of your medication, your pharmacy, your doctor, or look online, to find out if there are any copay assistance programs available for your medication. And don’t automatically assume you don’t qualify. Now, this one is something pharmacies push, because if it’s more affordable, you’re more likely to buy your meds. Also, always ask for generic if your doctor allows it.

3. Pay attention to your drug formulary. Drugs can change status from preferred to non-preferred, causing a huge increase in costs.

4. Some meds are only available by mail. Your local pharmacy, for any number of reasons, may not carry certain meds. Be sure to verify this with your insurance to avoid delays in your therapy.

5. Some meds are available at your local pharmacy, for a limited time, until your insurance increases your copay. They do this because it’s more cost effective for some drugs to be sent by mail-order, verses, being stored at a local pharmacy. This is no secret, but it’s something that’s not well understood by everyone. For example: you can go in May to fill your birth control at your local pharm for $20, but then try to refill in June, and it’s $50. That could be because you must start getting it by mail.

6. The customer service rep does not run the company. Often times, these overworked, underpaid reps, are also frustrated by company policies. The people responsible for making decisions about how your meds are handled, will never speak to you. So if you are frustrated with policies, or the handling of your medications, etc… ask to speak to a supervisor. If you have a complaint, WRITE THE COMPANY! Send a certified letter for confirmation of receipt. Email works too, but can be “accidently” deleted. I say do both. This, of course, can go for, any customer service situation. Also, let your insurance company, and your HR department, know about issues you’re having.

7. Verify your pharmacy’s refill policy. Some pharmacies call their patients, some don’t. If you’re taking a maintenance medication, stay on top of it! You are one of many, and can slip through the cracks. It’s not the pharmacy’s intention to have that happen, but they’re processing thousands of prescriptions a day, someone’s bound to get lost, and you don’t want it to be you.

8. Make sure you have refills left. Verify—by phone, not on line—the amount of refills you have and the dates that it’s valid. The life of a prescription is one year. That doesn’t necessarily mean you have a year’s worth of refills, but it does mean you have an expiration date, and if you’re past that date, then you need a new prescription.

9. Call at least a week before you need your meds. Just because the shipments may be overnighted, doesn’t mean you want to call Monday for Tuesday delivery. Your prescription needs to process amongst thousands of others. Processing sometimes includes, contacting your doctor’s office, verifying insurance, processing prior authorizations, and so on.

10. Check with your insurance or pharmacy about getting a 90 day supply. Keep in mind, some insurance companies will allow you a 90 day supply only after you’ve met a certain minimum supply. For instance; you may need to get three, thirty day supplies consecutively, before you can get a full 90 day supply.

11. If your med is administered at your doctor’s office, make sure they have it on hand before you go. Just because they made an appointment with you, doesn’t mean they have your drug. I can’t tell you the number of times that patients call, upset, after going all the way to their doctor’s, just to find out their drug wasn’t there. I’d like to yell at them, “Why didn’t you make sure they had the drug before you went!” Also, make sure your doctor isn’t using someone else’s drug on you, or using your drug on someone else. For example: If you and another patient both use Gamunex, and the doctor’s office stores the med for the both of you; the medication that has your name on it, should not be used for another patient, and medication with someone else’s name on it, should not be used for you. That is illegal.

TERM YOU SHOULD KNOW- Prior Authorization/Pre-certification/Coverage Review – there may be some other names, as they may vary by insurance. It’s basically a list of questions your insurance wants your doctor to answer to verify the necessity of a medication and/or procedure. For medications, in some cases, you just need one for the pharmacy to provide the medication. In other cases, say for injectables, you may need one for the pharmacy to provide it, and another for the doctor to administer it.

Sunday, May 13, 2012

The REAL Reason He Dumped You


You're sad, right?

You don't know what you did wrong and why anyone would possibly want to leave you. Or, maybe you DO know and have sat down and made a list of all of your faults and you've concluded that it must be your weight or your hair or the fact that you drive a Camry.

Let me let you in on a little secret. The reason he dumped you has nothing to do with the way you look, smell or how much money you have.

He dumped you because...

Lean in a little closer so you can really understand what I'm saying here, ok?

He dumped you because...

You care too much! Who cares why the hell he dumped you? It's time to stop sitting there crying your eyes out and analyzing your personality and every interaction you two ever had because that is not going to help.

Life isn't about staring at the clock wondering why the seconds are rolling by. The clock ticks because that is what it does and relationships end because it's time to end. You are not a failure because you couldn't force him to want to stay. You didn't lose in life because one phase ended. Your life is rearranging itself to make room for something new and although you may fear change, change is inevitable and it HAS to happen, just like the clock HAS to tick the day away.

He dumped you. He broke up with you. He left you high and dry. Does this mean you are unloveable? No. Does this mean the sun won't shine tomorrow? No. Does this mean you are less of a person? Hell no!

He dumped you. It's not that serious. You are more than capable of figuring out what will happen next. You can decide to write the next chapter of your story.

It could read: She wept. She wept for 8 days straight and nothing could comfort her. She gained 20 pounds sitting at her computer stalking him online and trying to figure out if it was another woman who took her man away. She never dated again because she held on to the pain and it was so unbearable that the mere thought of experiencing rejection again caused her to wince. She vowed never to allow that experience in her life again.

It could also read: She cried for a night. Then she went out with her friends. Then she set a new goal for herself, whipping herself into the best shape of her life physically and mentally. You should have seen her as she stepped outside of her comfort zone and became an entrepreneur. She eventually moved to London the way she always wanted to. She ended up dating more men but she didn't take any of them seriously until one of the begged her to.

You don't have to figure out why he dumped you, all you have to do is accept that it is over and figure out what you want your life to be like over the next 3 months. I'm sincere. It's a choice.

Imagine the best case scenario that isn't dictated by circumstances that you can not control. You can't control other people's reactions. You can't control other people wanting to help you. You can't control the weather. You can't control some things so just learn how to manage your reactions to the things you can't control and you'll be fine. You don't have to spend another second wondering why things happen. Just adjust your path. It's okay to do that.

Your choice.

Share

Twitter Delicious Facebook Digg Stumbleupon Favorites More

 
Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...