How To Create A Positive Outcome

By Evelyn Robinson

We often sit around and fantasize about our perfect life. Most of us have the same goals, to be wealthy, successful or to find love. Whatever you imagine, we are all guilty of the same thing, sitting around and daydreaming instead of taking action. How can we break this cycle? How do we get out there and start finding the life we want?

Act the part 
There are many studies that back this up. They show that if you go out there and act like the kind of person you want to be, then you can become that person. OK, so it doesn't mean that going out and pretending to be a millionaire will instantly make you rich, but that certain physical actions can affect your mind and help you to reach your goals. For example, smiling, even if you don't feel like it, can make you happier. It also shows that adopting a power pose can make you more confident, useful when you're in situations like job interviews and feel kind of overwhelmed! Why not use this in everyday life? Next time you go out, walk tall and be proud. Act positively towards people and see how they respond to you. You'll often find that keeping a good attitude, even when you're angry, will get you a lot further in life.

Look into the future 
Visualizing your future is important, and can help you to achieve your goals. Psychologists from the University of New York found that people who thought of their goal happening as likely, did better in a range of situations than those who just fantasized about something happening. How can you apply this to your life? Well, if for example you're looking for a certain job, it's better to start thinking 'I AM going to get this job' than 'I would love to get this job'. Yes, there may be disappointments along the way, but you will overcome them. Moving on and constantly finding different goals can really help.

What can I do with my life? 
An important part of this is to set goals that are realistic. Not many of us can join the incredibly rich, but we have the potential to get a good job that we enjoy and can keep us comfortable. Some people like to keep a 'bucket list' of their goals, a list of things to do before they die, but how do you even go about deciding what to add? Psychologists have found that it's better to choose things that also affect those around you, so try to think of some goals that include the people you love. If you want to achieve something very specific, it's sometimes helpful to ask yourself why you want to do it. Do you want your dream job because it'll impress others or because it's something you really want to do? Do you want to visit a certain country because you love it, or do you just want to show off about your expensive vacation? Remember that your goals are to keep you happy, so don't just make them about money or owning things.

Take care of the mental and physical 
Of course, if you have a more serious issue with negative thoughts, you could be suffering from depression. There are many ways to overcome this from licensed prescriptions to therapy, but it's important not to suffer in silence. For many people, even short-term treatment can get them back on track and help them to think more positively. Your health in general often affects your mental state, so staying healthy in all regards can help your behavior patterns. Eating healthy, seeing a doctor when you are sick and getting plenty of sleep are all simple things, but they are very important to your mental health and helping you achieve your goals. Sometimes we have to take care of the basics before we can move onto the big things, so make a plan to feel healthier and stick to it. Whether it's having some alone time, seeing friends or going for a walk, whatever you feel is best for you.

Do it today 
There is no better time to start these goals than right now. Are you reading this article because you are putting something off? Go and do it, and make sure there's a smile on your face as you do! We don't all achieve our dream lives, but with a great attitude a happy life is something achievable for everyone.

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7 Ways To Relieve Stress Without Lifting A Finger

We experience stress when we feel that we are faced with situations that we can not control. Whether you are stressed about the actions of others or situations that seem like they are too much for you to handle, there are ways to relieve the pressure of ALL stress from your life.

Try these 7 Tips for mental stress relief. Consider them promises for your life. 

1. Relax. Life doesn't have to be obedient to your demands. In fact, it won't, and that's okay.
2. Let your children (and friends) live their lives the way they want to. You can't control them or save them and you shouldn't try to because it robs them of their chance to learn and grow.
3. When you don't get what you want, understand that it's truly the best thing that ever happened to you.
4. Your body is your greatest gift. It provides transportation for your spirit and allows you to experience the pleasures of life. You aren't a teenager anymore and you don't have to look like one to feel beautiful. Fall in love with your curves.
5. What you need to continue on your path is already on its way to you. It's coming.
6. Your relationship status does not define you. You define yourself. You make the rules. You are loved. You ARE love. Recognize the love that is already around you and passionately return it.
7. However you want life to be, don't wait, simply DO it. Live your life that way right now without waiting for permission or the proper equipment. Think outside of the box and go back to your childhood play. Yes, you have it now.

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Shifting Gears From Your First Failure

It's okay.

I know how you're feeling right now. You've invested everything short of risking your life for your dream and it seems that nothing is happening. You're exhausted. You're on the verge of depression. It seems like all of your hard work has been for nothing because no one cares and no one is watching and you haven't made any money at all, at least not enough to make a difference. You feel like you've failed.

What do you do now?

You are allowed to rest. Take a break. Take a week. Replenish yourself during this time and do things you wouldn't allow yourself to do in the pursuit of turning your passion into profit.

Take a week to unwind, watch TV and cry if you want to. Turn your phone off. Let go for a minute. Don't do your hair. Don't brush your teeth. Wear the same t-shirt for 3 days in a row.

Breathe.

After that week is up, get back to your work with even more vigor. Create a new way to do the work you have been doing. Find a new way to market yourself. Create a new way to showcase your skills. Do something different, learn a new skill to add to your business acumen.

Don't let go, even if it hurts to look around you and recognize that you are in the same damn situation you were a year ago and you know you gave it your best shot. You haven't done anything WRONG; you just haven't done it LONG enough. Keep going. It's not over. Any minute now the tide could turn in your favor. Don't give up now. You've invested so much that all will really be lost if you decided to walk away.

PUSH.

PUSH AGAIN.

PUSH SOME MORE.

Some one out there needs you to do what you are doing. Someone out there has been waiting their entire life for you to complete what you have been working on. Someone will walk away from your work, smiling, happy, content- complete.

They're waiting on you.

Don't disappoint them. Don't disappoint yourself.

You can do this.

Keep going. Keep growing. Don't Stop.

Go ahead. Get that first failure out of the way.

Don't Stop.

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5 Mistakes That (Eventually) Made Me Happy

The process of achieving your goals is a journey wrought with mistakes. In the midst of making what seems to be the wrong choices, you may feel as though you'll never get it right. The truth is, getting it wrong plays a necessary part in getting it right. Think of it as a weeding out process, you're constantly figuring out what NOT to do so that you will be redirected toward your true passion.

Here are 5 'Mistakes' I made that I am now grateful for.

1. Allowing my sons to go live with their father.

Back in 2006, I left my cushy job as a secretary at a private school to work at a PR Firm because I desperately wanted to be a writer. After only two months, the President of the company let me go saying, "I think I'm holding you back." Although I didn't know it, her decision would lead me to be unemployed for 3 months with my 2 small children.

I was receiving no child support from my children's father, an attorney, who somehow managed to wrangle the system to the point where he was not obligated to pay me anything. Years of trying to get him into the child support system had failed me with his constant motions in court and a relocation on my part and I could not find an attorney who would help me to fight him and his legal experience.

I managed to take care of our household for 3 months without a job before a friend invited me to move to Atlanta with my sons and try to find a job. Before I left, I took my sons by their father's house to say goodbye and he handed me a letter asking me if he could keep the boys while I looked for work in Atlanta. I agreed, reluctantly. I made him sign a letter stating that he would return my sons to me when I asked for them. He signed it. I gave my boys kisses and hugs and told them I'd be back for them. They have lived with him ever since.

Not only did he ignore my request to bring my sons to me after I found a job within 2 days of moving to Atlanta, he actually sent me legal paperwork claiming he was filing for custody. My lack of knowledge about the situation led me to wait and trust that the system would help me get my kids back. He lied. He never filed any paperwork. I waited and waited but he was using his legal expertise against me and it seems as though I lost out.

The only thing about our arrangement that is disconcerting is the fact that although I could never get a proper modification for child support from him, he was only paying less than $190 a month for one child until he says they told him he didn't need to pay anymore, he put me on child support, asked for back pay and was awarded more than $10,000. I had to get a job so that I could pay him and guess what I became? I became a waitress! Being a waitress had brought me more life satisfaction than any other job I have had so far. He tried to hurt me but it led to my complete joy.

Although this seems to be a horror story and I may seem like a fearful, dumb woman, for allowing him to keep my children, there is a flip side to this and both my sons and I have benefited. I was able to gain the necessary experience as a journalist that I needed to streamline my career and my sons are actually prospering in their father's care.

He's a good father. He teaches them things that I would not have thought of, like self reliance. I can see how this bad situation has given them a gift that will follow them through life. Seeing my sons so disciplined and doing well makes me so happy. Regardless, I know nothing is permanent and sometime in the future, our living arrangement will change. In the meantime, I get to work on being the best me, building a lasting foundation for my career by being a support to women who feel powerless in life, the way I once did.


2. Wanting to be a dominatrix

I'm not sure if it was out of anger or intrigue that I had the desire to be a dominatrix. In my mind I felt that there would be POWER in beating a man's ass. I desired this for so long that I began to attract many submissive men, many who would purposely irritate me and hurt me so they could see me angry.

One day I was spending time with a man who spent the entire time annoying me. After he dropped me home he asked if I would spank him. Annoyed and frustrated by the lack of 'Real Men' on my path, I did it. I can not describe what it is like to actually spank a grown ass man but I will say that it disgusted me and I never want to do it again.

It changed the way I look at men and myself. I am not a violent person, but this interaction brought everything into focus. That is when I realized that the submissive men that I attract all want to be hurt and belittled. I thought it was just me- complaining and upset that no one was ever good enough. I was wrong. They tried not to be good enough so that I would fight them and try to FORCE them to be better men.

I'm not into that. Since then I don't date any men at all, I just focus on treating myself well and helping women. I am grateful that my fantasy came true because I now realize that being a dominatrix is not ME at all and I can stop blaming myself for sado masochistic men who provoke me to arouse abuse. I can treat myself better than any man can.



3. Hosting an Entertainment Show

While hosting my own radio talk show on my college's radio station, I was introduced to a man who owned an Internet Television station and studio that broadcast live from South Beach. I created a treatment for a new talk show and pitched it to him. He liked it and a couple of weeks later, I had my first guests as I awarded local figures from the entertainment industry for their hard work in going after their dreams.

I produced, hosted and promoted this show for 15 episodes before the studio had to be remodeled and my show was put on hiatus for 2 months. When that 2 month hiatus was introduced, I happily thanked everyone who had a part in my show and decided that I wouldn't do it anymore. This made a lot of people angry. First off, I was a really good host and producer, secondly, people were looking forward to having me as a part of the Entertainment scene in Miami but the truth is, while doing the show I figured out that I didn't like Entertainment.

I don't like the questions you ask musicians. I don't like staying out at clubs all hours of the night. I don't like having artists come up to me to ask me to listen to their music. I don't like socializing. I don't like any of it. I am not grateful that I made the mistake of hosting an entertainment show because although many in the entertainment field here who may remember me, consider me a flake for not continuing it, I know that I will use my hosting skills in another area.


4. Going to graduate school

I decided to go to graduate school on a whim. It was a decision that I made because I had nothing better to do at the time so I applied. I had no idea that they would accept me and two weeks later, I would be back on a college campus studying Marriage/Family/Couples Counseling.

Surprise, surprise, I was really, really good at it. I dove into my studies, finding interesting ways to mix my bachelors degree in journalism with the information I was learning as a counseling student and I found the two really complemented each other. I wrote a full length book, I hosted a radio talk show and I started producing Youtube videos teaching the lessons I was learning in school in a way that made them practical and easy to implement in everyday life.

The only thing is, well, by the time I reached the end of my graduate education I was really dreading the final internship because- I didn't really want a job in the field and I hate working in offices. Everyone was so disappointed in me when I told them I dropped out of grad school just as I was almost done. I had to. I just wanted the information, I didn't want the job or the confinement of working in an office setting.

Although it was difficult to walk away from a path that everyone I knew was cheering me on, I did it anyway. I followed my own passion and I quit school, began this empowerment blog and organized the most amazing investigative journalist project ever- The Rebuild Your Life Project, which taught women how to survive their biggest fear, homelessness. Because of the knowledge gained while in grad school, I was able to counsel homeless people and encourage myself as I made my way through homelessness and back.


5. Trying to be a superhero

I once had a friend who relied on me to help her make every decision. I did this for many, many years even after it began to feel like an obligation. In my mind, I was being a good friend, but secretly I felt burdened by holding her hand through everything. It got to the point where I placed her happiness over my own and it wasn't because I loved her so much, it was because I felt that she wouldn't be able to function without me.

I didn't realize this until AFTER I stopped speaking to her but the feeling of relief that came into my life was amazing. Then I realized that she didn't really need me; she was capable of standing on her own. I started making myself a priority. I was there for ME first. The funny thing is, as I make myself available to women across the world who call me and write to me for help with overcoming obstacles, I find myself repeating the encouraging words and direction I used to give my friend.

After years and years of coddling her and holding her hand, my interaction with her was actually the PRACTICE I needed to be able to coach women through the same insane issues she had gone through. With each phone call I get, I know exactly what to say because I had to coach my friend through it at least 2 or 3 times already.


So, if you're ever in the midst of what you feel is a bad decision, you have to decide what you can take away from it. There is something awesome to be gained from every circumstance even if you don't see it at first. You know how I know? I was bamboozled, fell victim, entered in jobs that abused me, friendships that I felt held me hostage and made decisions that I later regretted but each and every one of those scenarios has led me to who I am right now, actively engaged in my life work and really loving every minute of it.

I am forever grateful.

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Two Distinct Personality Types in Business

In the world of business, there are two distinct personality types, the Drivers and the Wheels. Equally important, the two play an interdependent role in the success of the venture. Neither personality type is more important than the other; the two are interdependent and both should take care in knowing that without the other, they both lose. Recognizing your type and strengthening your confidence in your role will benefit your work and personal life.

The Drivers
The Drivers in business are the visionaries. They have the responsibility of navigating the business and making sure that those who support it are nourished and capable of pushing the vehicle forward.

The Benefits
Drivers do not have to do much of the repetitive grunt work that the Wheels have to do. The sweat they put into the business is often fanned away by the air conditioning in their office and when the company succeeds, they are the ones in the public eye receiving the praise. Their strength lies in strategizing, studying and taking the big risks.

The Drawbacks
Drivers have more responsibility than most can imagine. Their efforts and their mistakes affect a multitude of people under their employment so they have more to consider when they make a decision than most. They can rarely rest because being a Driver is more than a full time job, it is a lifestyle. A Driver can't be a master at just one area, they must be proficient in nearly every area of their business or savvy enough to delegate responsibility properly. There are no real vacations for the Driver because their mind is driven by the status of the company. Drivers are also the ones to experience the public shame of failure when their ideas do not equate to success.


The Wheels
The Wheels of the business go round and round. They have to be properly taken care of to carry the vision of the Driver and without the Wheels, the Driver can move the vision forward.

The Benefits
The main benefit of being a Wheel is the opportunity to leave work at work. After work hours, the Wheel can enjoy her family, entertain herself and focus on enjoying other areas of her life. She has one specific function within the company and if she performs that function to the best of her ability, she can rest assured that she is a part of the complete success of the business.

The Drawbacks
One of the drawbacks of being a Wheel is the fact that you are sometimes held back by leaders who only believe you can accomplish specific roles within the organization. Your leadership ability is measured, debated and often minimized by leaders who know that you function well in your role and want to keep you there to ensure that role is filled competently.


For My Savvy Sisters- Which role do you play in business and in life and why do you love your role?

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The Missing Key To Success

We're out here grinding, taking risks, being innovative and fearless. We have the knowledge and skillset to succeed, but we are missing one key ingredient to achieving our success. Understanding this key will lead you to emotional freedom and satisfaction simply because once you master it you will no longer experience the frustration of a dream yet realized.

Are you ready for the secret behind every success story you've ever heard of?

Here goes-

The key to success is BEING FAITHFUL WHERE YOU ARE.

Don't be shocked and disappointed. Learning to activate this key will bring you an unparalleled level of peace because you'll be able to build a much firmer foundation for your success. No, I'm not talking about being complacent. I'm trying to help you understand that where you are right now is the perfect place to be in your journey toward your goal.

As you take steps, building your dream brick by brick, being patient and faithful where you are is a skill set that will travel with you when you reach your next level. Your dream fulfilled will not end there. It is very likely that after the dream is fulfilled, you will have to work just as hard to maintain it. That is where this key comes into play. Life is never really a resting place. Our minds are consistently yearning for new experiences and new circumstances so your restlessness will probably never go away.

Learning to be faithful where you are and enjoying the process of the creation of your dreams is an AHA moment that is unmatched in satisfaction. So go ahead and relax a little as you sort through your daily to-do list and understand that today will one day be a memory that you should be able to look back on and smile.

You're okay. You're headed in the right direction. You've done all you can and you're still inventing ways to do more. You are awesome. Just keep moving your hands and making wishes with your heart and you'll get there.

Be faithful where you are. Do your best everyday, even during the times you feel small. Your faithfulness will be rewarded.

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5 Reasons To Celebrate Pain

If we had our choice we would completely eradicate the possibility of pain because it's, well, painful. However strategically we try to avoid the aches and pains of life we can use its occurrence to help boost our health and happiness by understanding these 5 truths about the benefits of pain.






Physical Pain
1. Physical pain is caused by an inflammation in our body's nervous system that acts as an alert system to tell us that something is wrong. Pain is our body's way of letting us know that if we continue that activity we will harm ourselves even more.

When you begin to feel physical pain as a result of an activity, stop what you are doing and adjust your activity in a way that doesn't cause so much stress on your body. You can try to celebrate when you feel pain because without it you'd damage yourself permanently.


Emotional Pain
2. Emotional pain is usually present when we endure a loss in life. The pain is not physical yet it can present itself in physical form if we choose to dwell on the loss as a negative incident. There is perfection in emotional pain because it proves that we had a connection or a passion to the thing we are hurting over.

Life is all about making connections with our environment and those around us. If we are living a rich and full life we will become passionate about the things and people we love. If we didn't achieve these heartfelt connections we could never really know the full experience of life. Sadly, a part of the life cycle is letting go and this is when the emotional pain of losing our connection to that experience takes over. If you have ever been hurt by a loss, take it as a sign that you are indeed living a full and satisfying life.


Past Traumas
3. The pain of past memories linger in our minds forcing us to relive the moment and rekindle the pain over and over again. There is one surefire way to alleviate the ache of the pain of the past. You have to recognize first that at some point whatever was causing the pain has ended and you have moved on. If you were able to move past the pain of any situation in your past, you can do it again.

In this scenario, pain is useful because it reminds you that you overcame it the last time and you will move on again.




Unmet Expectations
4. Since we're passionately involved in this life experience, it makes sense that we will open our eyes and decide that we want to see more and experience more. When our desires and expectations for our lives lead us to experience the pain of unmet expectations it can cause depression, a low sense of self worth and emotional trauma.

Just like with the other types of pain, we can celebrate the pain of unmet expectations because we recognize that unlike some people who waft stoically through life with no aim or purpose, we DO have purpose, we DO have plans and we DO have high hopes for our life experience. Our expectations indicate that on some level we want to enjoy this life experience and we believe we can otherwise our unmet expectations would not bother us.

The pain of unmet expectations means that we are ready to enjoy life.


Unrequited Love
5. There's that tingly feeling again. It begins in the pit of your stomach and permeates through your entire body causing you to feel drained yet exhilarated. Yep, that's love. Love is such a beautiful feeling, but it's not so beautiful when the love isn't returned.

The pain of unrequited love is almost impossible to bare. You may blame yourself for not being loveable or you may become frustrated with the object of your attention for not receiving your love in the best possible way. No, there is no quick fix to overcoming the pain of unrequited love but this type of pain does come with a reason to celebrate.

When you experience the pain of unrequited love you must understand that the mere fact that you dared to love someone is an act of bravery. There are so many souls who are closed off to connections with other people due to the fear of being rejected. They will never experience the bliss you feel when you think of the one you love, when you hear their voice or attempt to make a connection with them.

You are so courageous for stepping out and releasing the love you have inside, whether it is returned or not. When it isn't returned and you experience the pain that comes with not being appreciated, take a look in the mirror and tell yourself, "But I did it. I have lived and loved. I am not a stone. I am alive."


For My Savvy Sisters: Can you recall a time when your worst moment eventually became your best moment?

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Take Control of Your Career Now

By Darcy Eikenberg, ACC
Author, Bring Your Superpowers to Work: Your Guide to More Clarity, Confidence & Control

A client recently said to me, “I’d love to stay at this company, but I don’t see how I can grow unless my boss leaves. It’s sad, but really, I have no control.”

I looked at her, aghast. Here was a smart, successful professional whose outward appearance would never hint that she felt she had no control over something as important as her career growth. And somehow, she had no idea of how much control she actually had.

Do you know someone like that? Or, are you someone like that? If so, you’re not alone. Increasingly in our new world of work, we’ve let ourselves believe that we can take control “when,” as in:

“ . . . when this project wraps up . . .”
“ . . . when we get a new department head . . .”
“ . . . when the economy gets better . . .”


Yes, as John Mayer sings, we keep waiting on the world to change. And we wait. And wait.

But you don’t have to. You can take control of your career right now by knowing the three elements you can always control. Add them all together, and they make a huge difference in your career, in your work, and in your life.

1. You Can Control What You Think
As the saying goes, “a mind is a terrible thing to waste.” So’s a mindset. Your mindset is your view on the world, your beliefs, your mental DVD’s that get played over and over again.

Your mindset is also 100% chosen by you, whether you realize it or not. Yes, you may struggle with beliefs that you’ve had for years, taught by your parents or our communities. But as we grow up, we can make the choice to accept those thoughts—or replace them with new ones that work better for us.

You take control when you decide what to think, adopting the mindset that reflects the person you want to be—one who has your unique superpowers and who brings them to her work and her world. Once you’re in control of your thoughts, no one can take them away from you. They’re yours for life.

2. You Can Control What You Say
Too often we’re silent on issues that are important to us—and that silence is interpreted as acceptance. Once your thoughts are in order, it’s time to bring them into the world with your words.

Where can you speak up instead of pipe down? Say kind things rather than criticize? Or ask tough questions rather than wonder? It’s amazing how much clarity we can find quickly at work when we ask instead of guess.

It’s true that when you’re in the mode of speaking your mind, you may say something uncomfortable or even hurtful. But you already know the words to say then—“I’m sorry.” Don’t let your fear of saying the wrong things stop you from taking control of what you do say. The risk of not saying anything is far greater.

3. You Can Control What You Do
If you saw a lost child in the road, would you wait until someone gave you permission to move her to safety? Probably not. But when you see someone lost at work (or a project that’s lost its way) are you waiting for someone to tell you it’s okay to help?

My bet is you know what to do. You know how you can help; how you can make the situations in front of you better right now. No matter what your role, when you’re taking control of the things that matter, you become a leader. Good leaders don’t wait to be told; they see pain and do what they can to bring healing. They see the broken and use their gifts as the glue.

It’s time to become the leader you were meant to be. Take control of your career by controlling what you think, say, and do, and start making a bigger difference for your work, your workplace, and maybe even your world.





Darcy Eikenberg, ACC, is the author of Bring Your Superpowers to Work: YourGuide to More Clarity, Confidence & Control, and a popular workplace coach and speaker. You can download a free chapter of her book, get her twice-monthly Community News, and access more free tips and tools on Darcy’s career and success site RedCapeRevolution.com.

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The Single Most Important Question

If you dare to grow beyond your wildest dreams there is one question that you MUST ask consistently.

"How will this benefit me?"

Gone are the days when we simply believed everything that was introduced to us. It is much easier to live life that way because we aren't forced to think and be responsible for ourselves, but today's woman, well, My Savvy Sisters, are smarter than that.

We understand that every belief is a choice. We understand that every move we make will result in an equal reaction from our environment. We understand that if we don't ask WHY we become mindless followers who allow the opinions of others to dictate our lives. We can't allow that to happen.

There are times when it is okay to be a follower, but at this moment, we have to examine every belief introduced to us and every opportunity presented to us.

How will this benefit me?

It is a benefit to you because once you find the answer to this question in any situation, you will be confident in the decision you make as a result. You'll know that this choice was yours and anything that happens is a result of your best wishes for your own life and your authority as the captain of your journey.

Don't allow anyone to chart your journey for you. Stand up to those who think they know what's best for your life, find your answer and stand your ground.

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15 Ways To Measure Success

Why is it so much easier to label yourself a failure after a loss? This label sticks to our psyche hindering us from moving forward in life when it really doesn't have to.

Instead of applying negative outcomes as the defining labels for our lives, how about we celebrate the victories that may not be as glamorous, but are still deliciously sweet.

Here are 15 ways to measure whether or not you are truly a SUCCESS.

1. Did you make it through an entire work day without punching your co worker?
2. Did someone prosper because of your efforts?
3. Did someone smile after you left the room?
4. Did you finally throw away those bags of clothes in your garage?
5. Have you graduated from one stage in life to the next?
6. Did you make it through the arduous phases of high school?
7. Do you wake up in the morning smiling?
8. Do you have friends?
9. Did you get the laundry done this week?
10. Did you live through childbirth?
11. Did someone 'like' or 'plus one' your status update today?
12. Have you helped someone orgasm recently?
13. Are your children laughing, playing or fighting in the background?
14. Did you pay your bills last month?
15. Do you have the energy to wake up tomorrow and try again?

If you answered YES to at least 3 of these questions- YOU ARE A SUCCESS!


For My Savvy Sisters: Please share your personal modern day success stories in the comments.

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Why You Should Give Up On Life

For some people their best efforts don't seem to be worth much. They've been trying and trying and can't seem to make anything work no matter how much they give.

At this point they may simply feel like giving up on life and that's okay. Give up. Give up trying to go in the direction that you were going in.

Start a new life.

Here's how.

What is it that you secretly wish you could do that you would never even admit to anyone that you were dreaming of?

This is your new direction.

It doesn't matter if you believe you are capable or equipped. All that matters is the fact that you have a strong desire burning in your heart that won't go away.

Go ahead, give up on the life you were living that has been causing you misery and create the REAL LIFE you deserve.

You can have it.

Take a risk. You have absolutely nothing to lose. In fact, this moment has arrived as a gift to you. This is your chance. This is your new beginning. You know what you have to do.

Go get it!

When you have hit rock bottom and you can't see any way out.

When you can't find a solution and you have nothing but doubts.

Here's my solution, I hope you'll understand

That's it's okay to give it all up

And start over again.

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When You're Above Average

If your dreams outweigh those around you
If your style and grace seem to make everyone upset
If you're never satisfied with 'just enough'
If you're constantly yearning to upgrade your life
If you've ever wondered why no one understands you
If you're watching people make choices you stopped making 10 years ago
If you can't find the right crowd to fit into
If you're constantly thinking, 'No one gets it'
If you find yourself wanting to move to another country
If you think you must be from another planet
If you are bored with socializing and prefer the company of your own thoughts
If the men you meet are usually not up to par
If your biggest dream isn't getting married
If people consistently describe you as 'refreshing'
If you can't figure out what to do next but you know you must do 'something'
If you you're wondering what the meaning of life is
If you have let go of the beliefs you inherited
If you have stepped outside of the box and you like it there
If you aren't afraid to be foolish for your dream

You are ABOVE AVERAGE!

Relax. There's not much company because you belong in the major leagues.

It's coming.

Relax.

There is a place for you.

Relax.

There is nothing wrong with you.

You'll get there.

Keep walking.

Fearlessly.

~Te-Erika

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How To Make A Decision Without All The Facts

There are those times when you know something has to change. The change needs to come RIGHT NOW and you know that now is the time. In order for you to have the life you really want, sometimes a decision needs to be made quickly when you do not have all the facts.

Here's how.


Listen to your intuition
There is a soft, yet insistent voice that 'sounds' just like yours. You hear it all the time but you think you are talking to yourself. This voice is a voice of reason. It is confident. It whispers instructions. It is never fearful or derogatory. It tells you the truth and offers guidance. You fear it because it sometimes instructs you to do things that are not logical.

It is very important to listen to this advice that goes against your logic. Your logic is based on your past experiences and intellectual knowledge and those don't dictate the immense possibilities of your future. If your intuition says "Leave" Do it.


Go with what feels good
If you're happy and you know it, go with that.
If you're happy and you know it, go with that.
If you're happy and you know it then your smile will surely show it.
If you're happy and you know it, go with that.


Decide what you want and go after that
What do you WANT to happen? No, we're not paying any attention to your worst fears or what your parents warned you might happen. What do you want? What will make your heart sing? What if the best possible outcome were to come to pass? What would you have to do to make it happen?

There. Go that way.

Remember, no matter what happens, you can always try again. No failure is permanent and there is a building lesson to be learned from every decision made. Go ahead and learn the lessons necessary to build your wisdom and skill set so that you will easily bounce back from all of life's transitions.

For My Savvy Sisters: Can you recall a time when you made a decision without all of the facts and it turned out to benefit you?

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The 1% Mentality - The Difference Between The Haves And The Have Nots

In the midst of the Occupy Wall Street protests, investigative journalist and Success Coach Te-Erika Patterson reveals the top 12 traits of the wealthy elite in her latest eBook, The 1% Mentality- The Difference Between The Haves and The Have Nots.

This eBook, available on Kindle, explores 12 distinct mental perspectives that the 1% have that are different from the lower class, enabling them to prosper beyond their wildest dreams. You too can become a part of the 1% by adopting these perspectives and pushing their principles to the limit.


About The Author

Te-Erika Patterson is an inspirational journalist and the publisher of MySavvySisters.Com, the leading empowerment website for women. She is the founder of My Savvy Sisters, Inc., a non profit organization dedicated to providing financial and emotional relief for women in crisis.

Patterson is also the creator of The Rebuild Your Life Project, where she gave away everything that she owned and became homeless on purpose to teach women how to overcome their fear of failure. For four months she explored the homeless lifestyle and mentality and presented mental strategies for success as well as survival skills women need to rise again after an extreme failure. She documented her journey in and out of homelessness on her youtube channel and in writing on MySavvySisters.Com.

Download the Kindle App

Don't own a Kindle reader? You can download the Kindle app for free to your phone or PC to purchase The 1% Mentality- The Difference Between The Haves and The Have Nots.

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VIDEO: Everything's Okay

Life can teach you so many things that will help you to be more at peace with yourself and life's inconsistencies. Here is a video that I made of original inspirational words of wisdom set to the tune of Lenka's Everything's Okay VIDEO BELOW:

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You Survived Nursing School- Now What?

So you managed to survive nursing school, eh?

This wasn't your first choice for a career but after you had to take a job that rendered your first bachelors degree useless, you decided to play it safe and enter a field that experts say is recession proof- nursing.

You took out even more student loans and endured the rites of passage of future nurses, you know, studying pharmacology and managing to endure the 12 hour shifts for your internship and still make it to class on time the next day. You even managed not to smack that one student who constantly walked around asking everyone their exam scores so that she could compare. It was rough but you did it!

You finally passed the NCLEX, bought your first pair of scrubs and now you're ready to put all that knowledge into practice.

But wait- you have to find a job now. Easy enough, with all of your book knowledge, your high GPA and your acceptance into the Sigma Theta Tau honor society, you should be a shoe-in. You did your part yet, where's your sultry hospital setting where you'll meet a prominent surgeon who will fall madly in love with you at first sight and romance you until you are carrying his baby?

More than 4 months after feeling like a super goddess, you still haven't heard back from a single hospital yet. What are you doing wrong?

You're not alone. Although there have been reports in the media that have sold you the idea that nursing is a fool proof career choice, many brand new RN's are finding that they may have made a foolish decision.

24-year-old Florida native Shannon** passed the NCLEX back in June and spent more than a month applying to hospitals in her area. After not receiving a single call back she expanded her search to other cities and even went through the process of obtaining her license to practice as an RN in Michigan only to stare at her cell phone day after day, hoping that it would ring.

Shannon's story is not uncommon. A recent report states that new nursing graduates face extended unemployment due to their inexperience. Most job posting for RN positions require at least 1 year of experience in a hospital setting. Students loans are due and the glow of victory is ever diminishing as parents and family members grow tired of supporting the not so new graduate.

What do you do now? Do you take the position at a nurse registry just to keep your feet wet? Do you decide to become a home health aide even though your fantasy is to hold cute babies in the NICU? Do you drop your dream of using your degree altogether and head back to the service industry?

Don't give up.

Try:

Apply for overnight nursing positions. Sure, you want to work your 12 hour shift from 7a to 7p but the reality is most new nursing positions are offered during those hectic hours. Overnight positions offer new nurses the opportunity to learn and grow at a slower pace and there's a bonus- overnight positions typically pay more.

Focus on smaller hospitals in non congested areas. Sure, you want to land the job in the biggest hospital system in your state but there are other opportunities out there. Try applying to lesser known hospitals who often advertise for new nurses to apply and are willing to give them a fair shot.

Network. Join one of the many professional associations for nurses or slog through Meetup.com to find a medical professionals meeting group in your area.

Ask for help. Go ahead and join LinkedIn and post your job interest and put up a status on Facebook asking your friends to help you in your search. Get your pride out of the way, everyone needs a little help sometimes and you never know who knows somebody who knows somebody.

Volunteer. Register as a volunteer at the hospital that you want to work with. Once you're there you can mingle, make friends and potentially connect with the very people who can one day point you in the right direction toward your first job opportunity.


If 6 months have gone by and you still haven't been hired as a nurse, just go ahead and get a job, any. Don't consider yourself a failure, consider yourself smart enough to understand that nothing is permanent, not even this rough patch when you may feel as though your hard work didn't pay off. You didn't get this degree for no reason, your pathway into your career isn't clear yet and that is okay. You won't be in this position forever. Go ahead and take care of yourself by any means that you can and do not equate not having a job with your sense of self worth. The two have nothing to do with each other.

You are valuable whether you use your degree or not. You still have time to figure things out or even make a complete change if you want to. You are not trapped. You are not a failure. Be light headed about your job search and open minded about your options. There are a multitude of ways to experience the fulfillment of helping others. You're seeking financial stability but you are also seeking the peace that comes with it.

How else can you experience the same FEELING you believe you will experience once you were to get your dream nursing job? Find another way to experience that feeling and enjoy it to the last drop.

Don't give up. You've gotten through much rougher times in your life and lived to tell the tale.

Your dream is waiting. Celebrate in advance, everything will work out just fine.




**Shannon is a fictitious name although this story is very real.

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Top 5 Reasons You Should NEVER Be Afraid

Fear.

What is it really?

Fear is faith in evil.

Where you place your faith is completely up to you, but do you want to teach your children to have faith in evil? Do you want to give your power away that easily? Why must you continue to CHOOSE to believe that the evil forces reign supreme over your life? Why do you BELIEVE that you do not deserve good things? How can you learn to overcome your fears? Read the statements below, decide they are TRUTH and step forward without a second thought.



Here are the Top 5 Reasons You Should NEVER Be Afraid

1. The outcome will never be as bad as you think.

2. Every loss is a lesson. You are your own master teacher. Pay attention. Then Win.

3. Your success is hidden behind your fears.

4. If you believe in God then facing your fears is like running into His holy embrace.

5. Fears hold you captive while your strength to move forward anyway, removes the chains.



For My Savvy Sisters: What fears have you been holding onto that you no longer wish to hold you captive?

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How To Have Peace- The Yin Yang Factor

The Yin and Yang symbol teaches us that you can not define darkness without light. You can not define life without death. You can not define good without bad. There is a drop of darkness in light and there is a drop of light in darkness. These two polar opposites must exist to be able to bring richness and life to the other. To this effect, it is utterly important to recognize that you WILL have those days, months or seasons where things just don't seem to be working in your favor. You will also have periods where you stop and wonder, "Am I dreaming? Is my life this great?"

While I like to argue that EVERYTHING is a good thing, during those moments of sadness, you won't believe me. But, I want to teach you how to maintain peace during the darkest of moments.



How To Maintain Peace Through Any Circumstance

Understand that life is full of good days and bad. It is irrational to believe that you won't have days of sadness, loss or grief. Once you accept that these emotions are just as valuable to your life as bliss then you will begin to really live.

Life is a continuum of experiences that flow in like waves. The waves never stop rolling and neither will your experiences, both sad and blissful. The acceptance of these waves of emotions is the first step to living a more peaceful life.

Peace is attained when you feel confident that where you are in life and who you are in life is just fine. In essence, you'll think to yourself, "I'm feeling good about who I am right now."

You can feel good about who you are in every moment by understanding that nothing is permanent, everything changes after a time. Those moments of grief MUST give way to other emotions. Those moments of bliss MUST give way to other experiences. Life is a constant stream of soft, soothing waves and rough, angry ones. When you can understand and accept that the rough waves will be followed by the soothing ones, you can maintain peace during the angry ones.

I often wonder why when we're sad we feel like the feeling will last forever, but when we're happy we almost never give ourselves permission to enjoy it because we fear the feeling will go away. If we can consciously expect the good feelings to go away, causing us to disrupt the enjoyment of the moment that proves that we can consciously interrupt the sad feelings when they surface as well.

There is a famous fable that illustrates the main principle of the Yin Yang Factor. The story tells us that a King asked his noblemen to create a ring that will make him happy when he is sad and vice versa. The noblemen gathered and came back with a ring that was inscribed with the words, "This too, shall pass."

From then on, the King understood that nothing is permanent and even on his most glorious days when he felt unstoppable, at some point, his circumstances would change. Accepting this will help keep you from becoming overbearing when you are experiencing success and becoming overwhelmed when you are experiencing loss.

Nothing is permanent. Not your happiness, not your sadness, your success or your failures, your relationships, your jobs, your pain or even your life. Be willing to say goodbye to it all and let nothing define you.

In every given moment, "This too shall pass." Remember it. Believe it. Be transformed by this unshakeable truth.

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5 Ways To Celebrate International Day of Peace

Today is International Day of Peace, a formal call to action created by The United Nations acting as a signal to engage in non violence and cease fire. My Savvy Sisters is celebrating this Day of Peace in our own distinct way.

Today is the day you make peace with yourself and your global sisterhood. Today is the day you are freed from the chains of your ego. Today is the day you find your peace of mind. To celebrate your inner peace you should:

1) Forgive yourself for things you may have said or done that have caused harm to others.

2) Forgive the last person that hurt you. Really forgive them by sending them your personal well wishes, an e-card, or offering a prayer for them asking for their extended blessings.

3) Forgive yourself for not making the right choices at the right moments. It's okay. You will not be punished forever for a mistake.

4) Understand that happiness is not attached to the attainment of your goals. Happiness is a choice when you can celebrate who you are and where you are in this very moment without the added guilt or pressure to do or be more.

5) Turn off the TV today. Recount the good times you've had in your life. Relive those moments where the laughter filled the room like a giant cloud and you felt safe and warm and loved. What were the last three moments in your life when you felt completely at peace? Relive them all day long. Relish the memories.

Enjoy your Day of Peace.

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The Truth About Change

Nothing is permanent. Not your happiness, not your sadness, your success or your failures, your relationships, your jobs, your pain or even your life. Be willing to say goodbye to it all and let nothing define you. ~ Te-Erika

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