Say YES: The Most Important Lesson

The Most Important Lesson I learned during the Say YES Challenge. Video below.

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Say YES: Standing Alone

Some of My Savvy Sisters are not in healthy, supportive relationships right now. Some of My Savvy Sisters are forging ahead in life alone. Although this may seem unfair as you notice how so many other women seem to have it so much easier financially and personally because they have a strong support system, there are some benefits to standing alone. VIDEO BELOW:

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Say YES: Fears & Doubts

A woman I have interacted with for years over the internet contacted me tonight saying that she needed to talk. When I called her it felt as though I was speaking to an old friend although this was our very first time actually "speaking."

She shared with me that she was coming out of a very dark time in her life. It seems a life transition of a break up was causing her to re evaluate her life direction. I listened intently, sipping orange juice by the pool while she explained herself in excitement.

"I feel like life is moving on!" she said. I laughed.

"But I feel like the only thing holding me back is me," she said. "I watched your video where you were holding your book and crying and I thought to myself, 'what a sweet moment' I almost cried too. You're doing your videos. You were in a homeless shelter and still creating and sharing. Your site, My Savvy Sisters, man, I look at all of that and think to myself that I can do that too!"

"You can," I said.

"I think I can but when I take a minute I talk myself out of it. How do you keep moving forward? How do you get it done? I know the difference. I speak death over my dreams while you speak life over yours."

My eyes grew wide. Um. Wait a minute. Is this chick saying that she admires me?

Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow.

Like, I'm a role model.

Me? A role model?

Yeah right.

"Girl," I began. "The only difference between me and you is, I feel the fear and I do it anyway. I am scared everytime I start something new. I never know what I'm doing. I never know if anyone will appreciate it. I never know how it's going to turn out yet, I do it anyway because to me it's fun to figure out. I have to do what I do because I fail at everything else. Life is directing me through so many failures. This is the only thing I CAN do."

For any woman who has been following my writing and videos you must know that I do not have it together by a long shot. I have extreme anxiety. In fact, I'm having an anxiety attack right now as I type this but I have to finish this story in hopes that someone will break free.

This is what I do. When I'm at my worse case scenario and I'm feeling hopeless and desperate and stupid and low, I create something to encourage myself and then I share it with others. Every video, every article, every book was written for ME. If I didn't create those things I would really be depressed. I share my heart and I risk looking so stupid and pathetic in front of everyone because, I don't care anymore. I've been laughed at and called lame. I've never been loved. I've been at so many low points that who cares if it happens once more.

I'm not afraid to look stupid so I take risks that most won't take. I'm not trying to uphold a certain image because I have no stellar image to uphold. Anyone who knows me personally will laugh and say, "Oh that's just Tee. She's crazy."

Yes, I am.

But I always try to give what I wish I had been given. I always try to create the type of resources that I wish I had.

I MUST create or I will fall into a sea of nothingness and drown.

I say YES to fear.

I say YES to doubts.

I say YES to appearing stupid.

I say YES to falling on my back.

I say YES to being vulnerable.

I say YES and I do get hurt when I try to connect or to move forward but I still do it anyway because I will not remain stagnant. That is not the life for me. I have to at least TRY.

So you go ahead and say YES to the fear, but remember to TRY ANYWAY.

If you fall down, it's not a long reach to hop back up.

Handle your business.

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Say YES: I Found Him Attractive

It is very rare that I notice men, and even more rare that I feel that "pull" of attraction for a man. Yet when it does happen I become upset with myself because I don't believe men have positive things to offer. A lot of my anxiety stems from this belief. It seems that I attract lots of men and since I rarely meet men who are nice to themselves and others, I experience a sense of fear when they approach me.

It's gotten better over the years. I no longer have a fear but I am mostly indifferent when it comes to men. I notice them, but I don't NOTICE them. So much to my surprise, just last week I ran into a man I used to work with and my body reacted much like it used to when I used to work with him. Back then I couldn't do anything about it because we worked together and I think that is taboo, but now we don't.

I went back and forth with the idea in my mind, "I should invite him to do something with me." We flirted a little and then I said YES and gave him my number.

We planned to go out tonight. I got dressed and waited. An hour after the time we set, he still hadn't called me. I sent him a text saying, "Never mind."

He sent me a text back: Hey. I'm almost ready.
Me: Never mind. We said 6. You didn't even call and that's rude.
Him: Wait. We never set a time. I was getting some things together, but okay Let's forget it. Me: Ok Goodnite.
Him: I was really looking forward to it.
Me: I was indifferent.

Well, I was. I hate the feeling of attraction. That's one of my issues. He's young anyway- 23. I know what he wanted. Maybe if I was in the mood too but I'm not. Not today. Not tomorrow. I don't like to be touched by men, it doesn't feel good but I give them a chance sometimes just to see if it's a phase and it will go away.

Sometimes it feels like nothing, but most times it makes me disgusted at the thought of it.

But I did it, I think. I said YES to being attracted, making a date and then it didn't go through. Should I have been more flexible? Did I really say NO by my actions?

Am I a mean girl?

I feel bad, but not really. I don't want to be close to a man again.

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Say YES: Thoughts & New Ideas

Today is the beginning of a remarkable time in your life because today is the first day that you are going to embrace the thoughts that have been floating around in your head and learn how to say YES to them.

There are ideas that come to you as subtly as a feather floating by and landing on your shoulder. These ideas may not always seem consistent with what you believe you are capable of so you disregard them as you chuckle and move on with your day.

Today I want you to acknowledge these ideas aloud when they come into your mind. They sound like a whisper, a firm word of instruction, yet they never give you all the details as to how to carry out these instructions. That's okay, you don't need them. Once you acknowledge the ideas that your subconscious is planting in your mind then you will begin to notice all the ways in which you can make them come to life. These ideas are like a magic whisper from your FUTURE SELF guiding you to toward your best life.

There are also those thoughts that surface that cause you to feel badly about your life or circumstances. You may tend to criticize yourself a lot or relive situations that cause you to feel sad or angry and I want you to say YES to these thoughts too. You can acknowledge the thought without giving it emotional energy and without beating yourself up because you have them.

Mindful meditation is a way to help with this process. It is a form of meditation that doesn't require you to lay down or be in a trance state. With mindful meditation, it's just you and your thoughts. You acknowledge each thought and then move on to the next one, understanding that none of your thoughts define you or dictate your future.

My shirt is dirty.

I don't have money for lunch.

That guy is cute.

I have to move on from this place.

When you find yourself moving from thought to thought and you learn not to follow them with emotional energy then you can achieve equilibrium in your spirit. The truth of the matter is, we each choose our emotions by the thoughts we choose to dwell on.

When you dwell on any thought long enough, you stir up the emotion that it evokes. If you learn to acknowledge your thoughts, accept them, salute them and let them go, you will no longer be a slave to your emotions.

Say YES to new ideas today and then watch how the path to making them come true lays itself out for you.

Say YES to any thought you have today and then let them go, understanding that you do not have to be a slave to them or the emotions they evoke.

Say YES!

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Say YES: I Was Invited To A Fetish Party

Yeah so, on Day 1 of the Say YES Challenge I reveal that I was invited to a fetish party.



It's all good. In my mind, I'll go find something to wear and go to this party, meet a guy who likes to get his ass whooped for fun and have ME some fun whoopin his ass! No sex. No condoms. No strings, just me letting out my aggression. Cool?

But when I reach the store and walk in, shit gets kind of real as I am shown a slideshow of pictures from the last party and that shit was kind of freaky and those girls had perfect bodies and I'm wondering what the hell I could wear to a freak party because I don't have a body like that.

So my anxiety started acting up and I became nervous about it for the first time. I imagined that people would try to talk to me and it scared me because, well, people ALWAYS try to talk to me, especially couples. Couples love to invite me home with them- maybe I look like I'm down. Well, I kind of am. I mean, if I'm in the mood. Well, ok, I'll do it, but I have to be comfortable.

I hate that I experience social anxiety. As a counselor, I'd say the root of social anxiety is worrying about what other people will think of you. Do I worry about that? Well, not really, but yeah. It's just, my looks. People are attracted to me because of how I look and they want to get to know me but my looks and my personality don't match- I don't think.

So I feel like they are always disappointed. I don't even think I'm that cute. I know I'm cute but not jaw dropping cute. Sometimes I think it's my energy that people are attracted to because with this gut, I don't see how anyone calls me sexy.

It's my energy. It attracts so many different people. They say I ooze sexual tension, but I'm not trying, I think they're just horny.

I don't want to have sex. Right now, I don't like the feeling of a man touching me. It feels wrong. I don't like to think about spending time with a man alone- it feels like a bad decision. I don't like the thought of touching a woman without loving her, it feels disrespectful. I don't want anyone to notice me and become attracted to me.

Why am I going to this party?

Oh yeah, cuz this is The Say YES Challenge. ~rolls eyes~

Oh god. I can't believe I'm gonna spend money on this party and a costume just to stand in the corner and not talk to anybody.

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Say YES Challenge: Day 1 Exercise - Fear of Surprises

Today is the first day of a life changing month for you. Get excited! This month you'll learn why it's important to follow the path that life lays out for you. You'll also learn how to step outside of your comfort zone to embrace your life's greatest adventures.

Today I want you to take a moment to think about the reasons why you become frustrated by life's surprises. You may become frustrated because:

1. Things happen that you feel you have no control over.
2. You are afraid that unexpected situations can only cause bad feelings.
3. You are so focused on your goals that any delays or hinderences cause you to feel like you will never reach your mark.
4. You know how to handle your life as it is and any changes that come you may not be able to adjust to.

As we take a look at the list mentioned above we can see that the main factor why we feel we can't handle life's surprises is the fact that we are afraid. Why are we afraid of life? Are we afraid because we do we not believe that we deserve good things? Why aren't all surprises seen as happy surprises?

In today's exercise I want to shake things up a bit. I want you to list a major event in your life that caused you to be sad.

1. After taking a risk and chasing my dream of becoming a professional writer, I changed jobs and worked for a PR Firm. After two months I was fired and spent 3 months trying to stay afloat financially. I was majorly depressed.


Now I want you to list 1 event or situation that was an after affect of the situation you mentioned that caused you to be happy.

2. As a result of my losing my job, I was invited to move to a new city where it only took 2 days before I found my very first position as a professional writer at a national magazine which jump-started my journalism career.

Do you now see how losing one thing led to finding exactly what I had been dreaming of? It will be the same for you this month. No matter what happens to you this month, I want you to Say YES.

If you are afraid of the end result or you're fearful that you could end up losing everything, I've already created a step by step guide to overcoming your fear of failure. It's called The Rebuild Your Life Project. I became homeless on purpose to show you what homelessness looks and feels like and how you can rebuild your life if you happen to lose everything. I've shown you your worst fear so you won't have to fear it again.

You can watch the videos of my day by day journey on our youtube channel, Embrace Your Fantasy. Now that I've done that, you should not have any worries.

The best thing you can do to prepare for The Say YES Challenge is to start to think about what you'd like your life to be like. Say a prayer that everything that is presented to you this month will push you toward your goals. Trust that nothing can keep you away from the highest ideals that come from the desires of your heart and be OPEN to creative ways to realize your dreams.

1, 2, 3...

This month looks like magic to me!

Leave a comment below to let us know you're participating and what you are hoping for. Remember to check back everyday for more exercises and inspiring messages as we Say YES to life!

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Introducing The Say Yes Challenge

MySavvySisters.Com is the world's leading empowerment website for women. We provide the resources, information and inspiration you need to survive and thrive in life.

Our women's empowerment outreaches will shake you at your core, providing challenging exercises which provoke extreme moments of self awareness which will stir you toward your path to enlightenment.

On September 1, 2011, MySavvySisters will begin yet another empowerment outreach to women- The Say YES Challenge: 30 Days of Non Resistance.
During the Say YES Challenge you can follow me, the publisher of MySavvySisters.Com as I attempt to say YES to everything life has to offer.

This challenge will help you in many different ways. You will learn to:

• Release anxiety about not being in control.
• Explore new opportunities that present themselves.
• Make peace with 'what is'.
• Learn to look forward to your next adventure.
• See obstacles as opportunities for growth.

From September 1st through September 30th I will post videos on our youtube channel and write detailed accounts of things that I have to say YES to.

I will Say YES to things like:

1. New experiences
2. New people who want to be a part of my life
3. Obstacles (I will accept them and try to see the beauty in them)
4. New opportunities that present themselves
5. People who no longer want to be a part of my life
6. New ideas

The Say YES Challenge is not about being a doormat. You will know which things to Say YES to. Say YES to those things that push you out of your comfort zone and force you to try a new approach. Say YES to people who are kind to you but are not ordinarily your type of friend. Say YES to situations and opportunities that seem to be ending.

Whatever happens- accept it and try to focus on how it could benefit you. Say YES!

Please do share your journey with the rest of My Savvy Sisters in comments on this blog or our youtube channel.

Learn to Say YES and see what happens when you begin to understand that life is a GIFT and not a curse and everything that happens, is a gift to you.

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