REBUILD: The Next Phase Of The Rebuild Your Life Project

I'm feeling all kinds of emotions right now.

I have so much to do before June 6th's job fair.

I need to:

Order a sign
Make awards
Buy frames
Find a host or hosts
Buy table clothes/centerpieces
Continue follow up calls
Write a press release with updated information
Find a photographer
Find someone to donate a sound system for the day
Plan the agenda/program
Finish the profiles of women I collected


And I have to plan for the next phase of my project.

My intuition tells me I am going to leave Florida. This is my time to go out and find my opportunity of a lifetime. I guess I could stay and get a regular job in an office but after searching for jobs for women who want work, I know that taking a job like that won't provide the longevity I seek or the satisfaction. I'm tired of starting over. I'm excellent at it yet, I'm longing for the real thing. What is that? I have no idea.

I have too many talents. I can do many things. I have not found the opportunities to expand and expose my gifts here in South Florida so I have to search and find one somewhere else.

Where?

I have no clue. That is where the planning comes in although I know that no amount of planning can really prepare you for a risk.

WHILE I am planning the job fair, I have to do some research to figure out which cities I want to visit and where I am going to stay while I am there. This is so crazy to me and I anticipate being even lonelier than I've been here. Honestly, for all intents and purposes, this shelter has been my temporary home and with all of the flaws and wild things I've experienced here, these people have been my family.

But now it's off into the world to see if I can find someone who is smart enough to want to use my talents in an environment that suits me so that I can take care of myself.

It looks like I'll be hitting the road in June, as soon as the job fair is over. Maybe by this summer, I'll have found what I have been blindly seeking. I'll teach how to start over in a new city and how to stay motivated while you do. I do plan to continue to be a link between homeless women and the businesses who desire to help them down here in South Florida. Once the job fair is a success, most people in this city will know about my connections and if any other businesses want to serve this population of people, they can contact me and I can connect the women that have reached out to me.

This project is blowing my mind right now. I didn't mean for it to become all of this. I didn't mean for it to last this long. I didn't want this, but this is what I have to do right now.

While I am out there traveling the country in creative ways I will try my best to speak about The Rebuild Your Life Project in front of women's groups and to perform my poetry at various poetry spots in the cities I go through.

I hope that you will partner with me by offering information about the city you live in, offering to host me while I continue this empowerment outreach and if you can, sending a donation to keep me going. You can send donations to mysavvysisters@gmail.com on paypal or check the newly updated Rebuild Your Life page for more information.

I am blown away by this.

Please do send prayers and lots of positive wishes my way. I'm tired but I have to keep going.

Love,

Te-Erika

Read More

EDITORIAL: The Personal Power of Education

By Erika Martin

Education Columnist

I have always enjoyed learning. Ever since I was a young girl, I craved stories from times gone by and loved reading biographies. I wanted to know everything and so I read anything I could get my hands on to stash away tidbits of information that I hoped would some day become useful. School was something that most kids looked at as a chore, but it was something I looked forward to every day. I took on any extra credit projects and essays, I loved filling in the blanks on worksheets and I often had my homework done before school even let out for the day. All of the information that I learned and gathered made me feel smart. It made me feel confident and useful. I still feel the craving for knowledge at 34 years of age.

There is no doubt that there is power in education whether it's in our community or globally. But, I have found that there is immense personal power in education. When I was in grade school and high school, I felt smart when I learned new things and retained the information. I felt confident that I could raise my hand with the answer when the teacher called on one. I knew that I could walk up to the front of the classroom and execute the math problem on the chalk board. It wasn't something I flaunted but it definimtely gave me a feeling of personal power. Of something that I had control of when it came to my mind.

Even though I never went to college or earned my high school diploma back then, I was always on the lookout for something to read, something to learn, something to challenge my mind. I never stopped learning when I was no longer in school. With each small bit of information I have gathered along the way, that small measure of power wells up inside of me. It has been a rather gradual ebb and flow of the years of getting married young, having my babies young, raising a family and taking care of a household. Lately, though, that ebb and flow has turned into a tidal wave.

In the process of earning my high school diploma as an adult, I have experienced a new craving for knowledge. The thrill of working towards something that has elluded me for many years has taken over. Filling in the blanks, researching different subjects, writing papers; all of these have rekindled that feeling of power inisde of me. The feeling of completion of my diploma, getting ready to start some college courses in the fall, knowing that I'll be marching with a cap and gown in just a few short weeks, have all given me a confidence, a control and a feeling of power that I have never felt before in its intensity and I've become addicted to it. I don't just feel smart, I feel empowered. I feel in control. I feel invigorated, motivated and determined. I feel like the dreams that I have in front of me are only a few steps away from reality.

Education enables society as a whole to do so much, but never underestimate what education can do for you personally. I want to do so much more. I CAN do so much more. I WILL do so much more. I will hold onto that power I feel inside of me and run with it!

About the columnist:

Erika Martin was withheld from attaining her high school diploma and a higher education due to living in a spiritually abusive upbringing. She is currently working towards attaining her high school diploma and plans to pursue a degree in Psychology after graduation this June. Erika will highlight relevant news and information that relates to education as well as chronicle her journey toward her diploma.

Read More

REBUILD: A Disparity In Perspectives

I'm a blogger. I have been blogging since 2003. My style is more of an emotional release and I write much better when I am emotional. I have so much to say so allow me to spit it out.

Organizing the job fair is going well so far. I really need an assistant to take care of the administrative tasks while I go out and find more businesses but the entire task is up to me while I still try to go out vending for the homeless voice newspaper to make money to keep this project going. Yesterday I made $55 and that will last me a while after bus passes and random stuff I need during the day as I'm out walking the streets looking for jobs for women.

Men do not understand this project. Most think I am silly for trying to help others BEFORE I help myself. It annoys me to try to explain to them that I believe BY helping other women, I AM helping myself. I get the most awesome satisfaction from helping others to achieve their goals. This feels better than my work as a life coach. Instead of talking to women, I get to actually make a MOVE for them.

My biggest concern while I'm out looking for jobs is the fact that many of the women I meet who are homeless or in distress, also have criminal records. This eliminates them from many job opportunities. Their only options are to remain homeless or in distress or to return to the criminal lifestyle. How can I help change this policy? Where are the jobs for women who are reformed and want a chance to prove they are?

Today I wrote to Emily's List, a website that says it connects women with policymakers to incite positive change. I hope something happens from this action.

On a personal note, I saw my little sister yesterday. I called her when I was out collecting donations and she came to see me with my niece. It felt so good for an hour or so to walk through Walmart shopping like a regular lady touching things and talking about the project and some of my frustrations. She even gave me a hug and it made me cry to receive a human touch.

While I am organizing this project and living in a homeless shelter I find that one of my main concerns isn't safety or food, it's mostly, well, I need some affection so badly. And I'm using the term affection loosely. Am I not a woman? Am I not human? Am I not supposed to even have these thoughts while I spend my days brainstorming and trying to make positive changes in the community?

Well if I'm wrong then let me be wrong because this is really how I feel. I have met two men that I found attractive since beginning this project and after finding out that I am homeless (even though they both KNEW I am doing it for a project) neither of them ever called me back. When I told one of them that I really needed a hug, he looked at me like I was crazy.

I'm homeless AND I'm disgusting to most people because I live in this lifestyle. I'm not used to this. It's not exactly hurting my feelings but without the privacy to relieve my OWN sexual tension I find myself about to cry sometimes at night as I curl up on my mat and try to go to sleep.

Last night I drifted off and my eyes fluttered open to a touch. It's a guy who lives here that I like to flirt with. He's really young and I admire his work ethic but most of all I like his aggressive personality. He has all the signs of a dominant man although he's very silly and we have absolutely nothing in common and there will never be anything serious. I think that's why I like him; I know he's too young to want anything real. Flirting with him is safe because I know he'll never 'like' me for real.

I'm afraid of real. From what I've seen from watching my friends in relationships since I've been single for 9 years, "real" is a bunch of drama and tears. I don't feel like I'm missing anything good.

When I opened my eyes he was leaning over me. "Are you feeling better?" he asked as I recognized his face. I nodded, still half asleep.

"Good," he said. "Good."

He hugged me twice and gave me a kiss on the cheek.

That made me so happy. It made me feel human. I really appreciate that act of kindness.

I'm a leper on the outside world. I watch couples in the shelter fall in love, flirt and have all kinds of fun. There's no one I can connect with on an intellectual level but there are many men that I admire for their kind hearts.

The women that I meet are the same, generally kind and sweet. We have a disconnect as well. There has been one question that has been plaguing me for a week or so now.

Well, this man here came up to me and said, "You have nice breasts." I took it as an insult and cursed him out. He came back to me saying that I was the only woman he ever met who would think that was an insult.

I was a bit perplexed by this statement because I figured there could be an element of truth in it. I am easily offended by men because I believe they are mostly out to try to offend me. I have this chip on my shoulder due to my past relationships with men and I am comfortable this way so don't try to talk me out of it. I'd rather be defensive than allow someone to bring drama into my life. I'm done with trying to help men; they never appreciate it.

Anyway, I asked 4 women in the shelter, "If a random man tells you that you have nice breasts, is it a compliment?"

ALL four women said YES!

I was astonished. Simply amazed.

I posted this same question on my facebook page and all but ONE woman was disgusted by the statement.

When I told my Mama she said, "Tee, most women aren't used to getting compliments so anything a man says to them that pays them attention, they consider to be a compliment."

I don't think ANY man that I am not allowing to touch me should ever comment on any part of my body, good or bad. It's not a compliment to me, I feel like it objectifies me. I am much more than an ass or a pair of breasts.

I actually got into a heated debate with a woman yesterday about this topic. She believes I am CRAZY to think that, "You have a nice ass!" isn't a compliment. She said I must have low self esteem if I don't think that was a compliment.

Ugh! That's a disrespectful insult.

It made me think about the disparity between my mentality and the mentality of the people here. I'm not trying to judge one over the other, I am simply taking note that there is a huge difference. I didn't think there would be since I am definitely from the 'hood' but there seems to be a large margin in perspectives on life.

I am trying to reach an understanding of how they think so that I can speak for them to ask for help but some become frustrated with me for asking questions. Thank goodness most aren't like that. One woman patiently explained to me about heroin addiction and methadone and how it helped her kick her addiction. I was grateful because I had no clue. That was one of my biggest frustrations when I was interning as a substance abuse counselor. I didn't understand how people would even try a drug called crack. It's CRACK. Haven't you heard or seen the effects it has on people? Look at the result. Do you want to end up there? Why would you even try it?

I don't get it.

I don't think I'm better than them, but I do know that we see the world and life's opportunities differently.

I'm trying to help. Honestly, I am.

I don't know if I can.

Let me get back to these administrative tasks.

Still pushing.

Read More

REBUILD: I'm Doing Something Right

Last night a family moved into the trailor and I decided to go sleep on the patio again. The thought of seeing their sad faces again made me cringe. It's much easier to be around the people who have adjusted to the homeless lifestyle and learned how to make the most of it.

I can only imagine what that family feels like after being evicted from their home. They must feel lower than low.

They must feel like their world has ended.

I can't even talk to them because they wouldn't be able to appreciate the words I would have to say. They wouldn't understand.

Endings are only the precursor to new beginnings. No situation is permanent, not even the good ones.

This time in my life is temporary, that is why I can smile everyday and move forward with my goals because I learned not to try to hold on to the present. Life is a cycle of beginnings and transitions. Life is a transition.

All of it.

I can see the people around me but they are not promised to me. I can feel this cloth against my skin but one day it could be taken away too.

I try to remain unattached to everything so that I can maintain my good spirit about life. The only thing I need to work on is the fact that some of my goals, well, I put so much pressure on myself to achieve them.

Today I was sitting in Panera Bread and I met a young woman who said she was looking for a job. My eyes lit up. I had just spent two hours walking up and down the street asking the businesses if they would partner with the Rebuild Your Life job fair.

Two of them said they would. One said that they were interviewing right now and would welcome any woman I sent over. I told the young lady to go over to the hotel and ask for an interview.

She came back smiling. "He told me he'd call me in two days and I could start," she told me.

I couldn't believe it!

She's hired?

Wow.

My first job referral actually worked out.

Someone was hired for a job because of my efforts.

Maybe I am doing something right.

Read More

REBUILD: Walk With Me

Yesterday was a phenomenal day!

I woke up full of fire and I smiled all the way to the bus stop and rode 2 buses to my destination- the Oakwood Shopping Plaza. I walked door to door asking to speak to the managers of each business.

I was a little nervous at first and then it became a game. I usually have one minute to explain who I am, what the Rebuild Your Life Project is and how the job fair came to pass. Then I ask for participation on the spot. Usually I hear, "I have to check my my district or general manager," or
"Sorry, we're a corporation and we can't agree to that at the store level." But, on rare occasions I hear, "We'd love to support this project. Good luck to you!"

Yesterday I heard YES FOUR TIMES!

I was crying and jumping up and down! I was so happy!

That brings my business count up to 10. As I sit in Panera Bread right now in the corner updating my business spread sheet and writing out thank you cards for the businesses that have decided to participate I am feeling so prosperous and so proud of myself.

I feel like I can walk on air!

I feel powerful!

I also have my first woman going out on a job interview today. Someone knew someone who needed a job, they called me, I called one of the businesses and set up the interview.

I feel like jumping up and doing the Doo Doo Brown!



As soon as I finish these cards and updating this spreadsheet I'm headed out once again to see what these businesses are working with!

Look at the video I made yesterday! I used Kanye West's Jesus Walks and it came out GREAT!

I absolutely love Kanye West because his music just touches my soul! If I ever meet him he's getting pregnant the FIRST NIGHT! Promise. =)

Read More

Your World News Report - May 18, 2011

By Berlyne Julmis

News Coordinator

Prayer Saved Passengers

Cathay Flight CX715 in route to Indonesia had to divert back to Singapore for an emergency landing. 136 frightened passengers abroad the plane turned to prayer to get through this horrid ordeal—passengers reported that prayer and God calmed them. Fire Officials met the plane and sparks were reported coming from one of the plane’s engine. Rolls Royce the plane’s engine manufacture has launched an investigation.

READ MORE

Chief of IMF Incarcerated Without Bail in Rikers Island

Dominique Strauss-Kahn Chief of the International Monetary Fund has been arrested on alleged attempted rape charges and is being held without bail in the notorious Rikers Island jail in New York City. A maid at a luxury hotel in New York reported to her supervisory hotel staff that Mr. Kahn tried to sexually assault her which they then reported to authorities. Mr. Kahn who was arrested on a flight before departing for Paris, France was taking into custody for questioning--after being extensively questioned Mr. Kahn was then officially charged for assault charges. Mr. Kahn is set to return to jail on May 23^rd and is expected to plead not guilty. Mr. Kahn was expected to defeat the current President Nicolas Sarkozy in next year presidential election.

READ MORE

A Bomb on a Bus before Queen Elizabeth Historic Visit to Ireland

A suspicious package found on a bus in the Republic of Ireland heading to Dublin, Ireland just hours before Queen Elizabeth II was due to visit the country. Irish Army bomb team has since deemed it safe--authorities are investigating who is responsible for the bomb hoax. Queen Elizabeth will be in Ireland four days as the Republic of Ireland and its citizen celebrate their independence from the British.

READ MORE

Women Volunteers Sexually Assaulted While Serving in the Peace Corps

Women volunteers for the Peace Corps have testified before congress on violent sexual assault and in some cases murder against them and fellow volunteers around the world. Women are speaking out on how the Peace Corp is blaming them for these dreadful acts of violence. The women are asking congress to pass a mandate to force the Peace Corp to better handle victims. Aaron Williams Director of the Peace Corps spoke before House Foreign Affairs Committee in Washington, D.C. stated the Peace Corps has made changes to stop blaming victims and to improve the handling these situations.

READ MORE

Read More

REBUILD: Another Awesome Day

Today was an awesome day!

I woke up, had breakfast and then set out to find more businesses to add to the Rebuild Your Life Job Fair for homeless women.

It was ridiculously hot but I added one more business to the roster so I believe today was a good day! I spent the rest of the day making follow up phone calls to the people I met yesterday. I feel so good in my heart right now.

I tried making a video about why Kanye West inspires me but I couldn't. It's weird. Every time I try to write about him or speak about him in sincerity, the words won't come out right.

3 weeks left until the job fair and I'll go out again tomorrow. I dream of making this a success and somehow figuring out how I can rebuild my own life. I dream of nights in a big bed cuddling with my sons.

I dream of nice dinners and clean sheets and having a home of my own. I dream of celebrating with women who have jobs because of me.

Tonight I sat out on the patio with the rest of the people in the shelter. We talked, joked and exchanged stories about growing up. There's a woman here named Peggy who I love listening to. She's Native American and she will sit next to me and lightly run her nails over my arms and my back and it feels like heaven on earth for real. There's something about a touch that makes me feel alive again. It reminds me that I'm real, that this experience is real and that I am human.

When my sons saw me they made jokes about me being dirty and homeless.

"Do I smell bad for real?" They asked.

"Your clothes do," my younger son said.

"Oh, that's because everyone at the shelter smokes."

But they let me kiss them and hug them and cuddle with them anyway. I felt so- um, normal.

I needed that.

My friend Anna sent me an email today after I wrote to her saying that I have no idea what I'm doing as I'm moving along with this project. Her words were very inspiring. She said, "That's the gift of it all...Not knowing what to do but knowing that you will succeed."

It's true. So true.

In the end, I KNOW in my heart that things will turn out well. The only problem is that I want it to happen NOW and I am unsure of the steps that I am taking. I often wonder if I am doing enough or if I am missing something. Sometimes I wonder if there is such a thing as destiny or if my sincere effort or prayer is what makes things work.

I always have questions that there is no real answer to. That's one of my favorite things to do- think about those types of questions and imagine all different types of answers.

I'm trying to hear my intuition, that guidance that told me to start this project. It sounds so sure and so certain and the only way I won't hear it is if I am fearful or emotionally stressed.

I smile all day. One of the other women in the shelter said it's because I go out and ask for donations by selling the Homeless Voice newspaper. I laughed. She's so right. When you're out there standing in the traffic you HAVE to wave and smile and you feel like you're in a parade as cars float by and you try to get them to donate. I feel like a STAR when I'm out there but it's hot as hell and my legs get tired. The crazy thing is, you're so used to smiling and waving that you tend to do it all the time.Even now as I walk down the street if a car honks at me, instead of rolling my eyes, I give them a smile and a wave.

The truth is, I maintain a joyful countenance simply because I choose to think about things that make me laugh. We all have thoughts that run through our minds consistently and we do have the power to choose which ones we allow to linger. I consciously CHOOSE to think happy thoughts.

I will remind myself of something my little sister said or a joke my sons told me or something funny that my Mama did. I'm always laughing to myself on the inside and that's why people think I'm so happy, which I am.

I choose to be happy. You can too.

Let me get back to reaching out to people to tell them about this project. The more women who can benefit from this information, the better.

All my love!

Te-Erika

Read More

REBUILD: Door to Door For The Rebuild Your Life Job Fair

Today was an awesome day!

I woke up early to attend a wedding of a homeless couple I met, but it was canceled at the last minute. That didn't stop me from going door to door to 22 businesses to invite them to be a part of The Rebuild Your Life Job Fair.

Most said they could not make a decision like that, but some were eager to get approval from their general and district managers in order to participate. I told them that even if they couldn't COME to the job fair, to please consider allowing me to send over women to be considered for employment.

I feel soooo good right now!

YES!!!!

Read More

EDITORIAL: Graduates Moving Back Home in Record Numbers

By Christina Fermin

Politics & Society Columnist

Nothing screams failed economic policies than 85% of 2011 college graduates moving back home, because they are unemployed, underemployed or over burdened with debt. Currently the United States has about $900 billion dollars in student loan debt, since 1978 tuition has risen 900 percent! One third of college graduates will work a job that does not require a college degree, while roughly 10% of college graduates are unemployed. All while never really preparing you for the “real world.”

What’s wrong with this picture? It almost seems as though attending college was suppose to help our future generations prepare for securing and directing the future. Too much time spent on the history, theory and techniques of the field, not enough time collaborating with the actual work sector. Currently 50% of folks 25 and under are underutilized in the workforce. Growing up I was told do well in high school you can get into college, graduate from college you can get a good paying job, secure a future and join the middle class in buying a new car, a home, and yearly family vacations, and if you work hard enough you will make it big.

It has been 3 1/2 years since I graduated from college and the one job I had that needed a college degree, overworked me, underpaid me, and kept putting barriers so that I could not move forward in the company. When I graduated in 2007, the economy was doing okay, I had a bachelor’s degree and I was ready to face the world. Well since the economy fell apart in 2008 I have spent the last 3 years looking for an opportunity, a decent paying job and something thats going to stimulate me. I am still looking, I have worked many odd jobs, retail jobs and sales jobs that made me realize what I did not want to do with my life.

Our generation is changing the landscape, it is time that we stop waiting for the government and the private sector to do something and create jobs for ourselves. If you take a look at the fastest growing occupations, most of them did not exist 10 years ago. As industries have disappeared and shipped abroad, we are here to pick up the pieces to create something for ourselves. The internet is a wonderful tool and if you learn to master it you can be your own boss and create that company from the comfort of your fingertips.

What can we do? Get creative, the sky is the limit so get a piece of paper or open up wordpad and start typing some ideas. What are your interests and passions and how can you make money from them. Check online to see what others have done with the same interests. There is an endless demand for sustainability, eco-friendly and green, so if you can take that interest, passion or talent and have it go green, you have tapped a billion dollar market. Do not be afraid, work together, cooperate and stay positive, the only way through this financial nightmare is working together.

Peace & Love,

Christina

About the Columnist

With a bachelors degree in political science from Florida Atlantic University, Christina Fermin has always cultivated her love for history, politics, sociology, ancient knowledge and teachings, the outdoors, the ocean and the environment. Christina strives to make our world better by helping us all create a new reality and understanding of all taking place here and now.

Read More

REBUILD: I Went To Church

I spent the night with my boys last night.

We got a hotel room and cuddled and wrestled and smiled and laughed.



When I left them I was a little sad. I think it has to do with them driving away with their dad's new girlfriend. She's not as nutty as the last one. She takes better care of them and is nicer but at the same time I think I'm a bit jealous. I'm not jealous that she's with their daddy- she can have him and keep him the rest of her life- I think I'm jealous that she found someone who loves her and wants her and I have never experienced that.

Ok. Enough of that.

I'll get over it.

After I got back to the shelter I actually realized- damn- I missed seeing these people. I mean, I have no real FRIENDS like that, but I've come to love most of them. We're all in this place, we live together and we sleep together and I feel like I'm one of them too.

Even if they don't feel like it.



What's even crazier is, after I went out to try to get more businesses for the job fair, I came back and there was a church here offering us dinner. It was a wild experience and I realized that there is a lot of love for the homeless.

THEN- after I thought my day was done, I walked over to the patio and a lady told me they would have church tonight so I went. I haven't been to church in a LONG TIME.

I'm not religious but I remember what religion did for me which is why I believe that everyone should have a faith of some kind, as long as it truly connects them to the belief that they can overcome anything and they are loved.

When I went to church they sang and sang and I remembered that the worship part was what I loved most about church. It was a time to show gratitude to God (the source of all things). I sang my heart out, trying to recapture that feeling I used to have and it worked for the most part- a part of me was still absent.

I don't know what it is that I am missing.

I don't feel empty inside, I feel powerful most days. The service reminded me that there is a higher power that cares about me as an individual and the sermon was about forgiving and acknowledging God.

It was a very nice time tonight. The people here will never know that regardless of how I feel about their habits and dispositions, I love them ALL and if I could, I'd buy them all mansions so they can sit and rest and not have to worry about a thing.

I won't tell them that though.

I did another radio interview tonight. It was cool. I like the way my voice sounds and I didn't fumble like the first one. I really don't "get" what it is about the way I speak that makes people tell me I'm so inspirational. I've always been like this. I feel sooo regular. Well, not really. I know I'm spectacular but it's crazy that I don't see myself like others do. I don't feel gorgeous or beautiful. Whatever though.

I'm tired, but I'm kinda lonely sleeping in this trailor by myself.

While I was with my boys I asked for some guidance- a word of intuition to tell me what I will do next.

It came.

It's weird that when your intuition speaks it does not make sense at all. It scared me a little because I was annoyed that the next leg of my journey won't be so smooth. More struggle and more not knowing what is going to happen.

Ah, but that's the story of my life, I guess.

Read More