The Rebuild Your Life Project - One Year Later

So here I am, one day away from the 1 year anniversary of The Rebuild Your Life Project, where I became homeless on purpose to face my own fear of failure and to teach other women how to survive the biggest failure- homelessness.

Around this time last year, I was hugging my sons goodbye after a weekend of fun at the beach and one last cuddle time, not knowing what would happen after the project. I had such high expectations for my journey into and out of homelessness. I knew I would survive it because I always survive everything. I had no idea how wild the journey would actually be. I wasn't fearful about my safety. I was sure that when people heard about it they would want to partner with me to help the homeless. I was certain that the homeless people that I met were just people who couldn't find work and that all they needed was someone like me, to stand up for them.

I was wrong on so many levels. But that's neither here nor there. That project changed me in a lot of ways, some ways I wish would go back and others that I am very proud of.

The one thing that I can share is, homelessness isn't as bad as you think. Actually, nothing ever is. The FEAR of it is much worse than the reality and everytime I go to work I think about what life would be like if I just let it all go, decided not to work and just be free, homeless and under the radar. I have sons so I could never actually DO that, until they grow up, but it's definitely an option in my mind. I feel disconnected from people in a way that I didn't before the project. I no longer have any desire to be joined to anyone. It's like, I'm participating in society yet, I'm doing it out of habit and not sincere interest and passionate emotion for the roles I play.

Even though I feel less than enthused about my role in society, I still become excited when others achieve their goals. There's a young lady at work who got a little promotion and it really made my heart sing to hear about it although her whole life is about to become all about the restaurant, something I would never allow to happen in my life.

I wanted to do something BIG for the 1 year anniversary of The Rebuild Your Life Project, but my efforts have all been on learning how to make my blog grow and I haven't had any creative inspiration as far as celebrating.

I work hard at this. I know it doesn't seem like it because it's just another blog but I take classes to learn from the big time bloggers, the ones who earn all of their income blogging. I study their successes. I write nearly every article on here and there are more than 500. I have to research, reach out to women and interview them, at least 5 a week so I can be current. I have to pay attention to who is winning awards and coming out with new things. I organize writers, market my blog posts and structure advertising rates and explore new ways to monetize this blog.

Yes, I want this to be my full time job which will eventually develop into a media empire with a press corps, staff of writers and finally-women contacting ME to use this platform to promote their work instead of me having to stalk them.

The Rebuild Your Life Project was a part of me investing in my business. A part of my business is using my own life to show women how to improve theirs. I call this site MY Savvy Sisters because I believe that as I grow into my dream, I can teach others how to do the same. I picture this site becoming a beacon of hope, instruction and help for women everywhere who need that support to help push them to the next level in life.

Right now I sure wish I had some support when it comes to strategizing and growing my business. Financially would be great, but my job as a waitress at Denny's pretty much takes care of me and my bills. I got off of food stamps and haven't really missed them which is so weird to me; I still eat out with my sons every week. This blog supports itself through some of the affiliate programs I have signed up with and my ebooks, I sell enough of those to pay for the monthly newsletter program and other incidentals like marketing. Press releases are the most expensive investment I make but they are so worth it.

I am not unhappy about being a waitress, I adore making my customers smile and Denny's has the right kind of people who come in; we're a perfect match for each other. Some days I do long to move on from waitressing and work my blog full time but when I begin to feel frustrated I just remind myself to be faithful where I am and to keep trying.

I feel myself growing past the issues of my past. Of course, I am no longer afraid of homelessness but aside from that, I am really, REALLY no longer as impatient as I was. I used to beat myself up about not being where I know I deserve to be. I knew I had this gift that was undeniable and I was waiting for someone else to notice it. That never happened so I had to create my own vehicle, which you are reading right now. I had to make investments in myself, to learn how to stand on my own two feet and to transform any loss or negative situation into a benefit for me.

I can do this now with no sweat. It's crazy that I can't think of anything that would devastate me so much that I can't figure out a way to benefit from it. My mind is trained that way now.

I've lost some friends. Or maybe it's just that I am no longer interested in the things that used to make us bond. Boys. Toys. Drama. I'm straight. I don't need that in my life. While I still love every one of them, my desire to see and interact with them has all but vanished. I send them all well wishes but I am so detached from claiming them as MINE and imagining a life of vacations and shopping and BBQ's like I used to do. I feel like none of that has to happen and I'll be fine.

One of the biggest things that has changed since this time last year is the fact that I am no longer just 'not religious'; I guess you can call me an atheist. It's not like I am totally adamant about the idea that God doesn't exist (See, I even capitalized the word God to show respect), it's just that for me, developing a dependency on any force outside of yourself is a failure method. I see why others do it, they need someone to lean on, but I can't be like that anymore. If God does exist and decides to look out for me, so be it, but I won't wait around for it.

I don't feel like this life is a trial run for another life. I don't feel like I will be judged. I don't care about heaven or hell. What do I care about? Hm. Good question. I care about the fact that this existence, whatever that means, is what I am experiencing right now and I want to be as comfortable as I can while I am in it. I also want to see if I can change the financial future of my family. In every wealthy family there was that ONE person who had an idea or took a risk and it paid off and centuries later, their family doesn't even understand the word poverty. I want to see if I can do that for my family, it would be great if my sons would never have to be on food stamps again and their children would never even have to THINK about experiencing a government hand out.

I also want to see if I could impact people's lives in a positive way. For me, it's really important to give the things I wish I had, the number one being support. I think for years my friends coddled me in my mess and devastation and that was unhealthy for me. I know they were just showing me their version of love but I don't think that is what I needed. I needed someone to show me HOW to not be pathetic and miserable and HOW to live a beautiful life. That's what I hope to teach other women who are sincerely fed up with being sad and miserable. I was just like that and now I'm not.

I still have anxiety but its not depressing like it used to be. I'm good most days, other days I'm GREAT. I'm still trying, still moving along and hoping that this foundation I am laying will blossom into something beautiful one day. I can wait on it. I'm good. I'm okay.

Love,

Te-Erika

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The Mental Transition From Homelessness

I was sick this weekend. It felt like the flu. Combined with my monthly cycle, my body felt like it was about to give up.

I hate these times when I get sick because with no car and no close friends around, I have to figure out how to get medicine and take a taxi to the emergency room if necessary.

Now that I'm feeling better thanks to my roommates who offered me some of their medicine, I had the time to think about what's bothering me. I have this feeling of disconnection to people in general and I'm thinking that it stems from The Rebuild Your Life Project, where I became homeless on purpose.

Even though I faced my fear of homelessness by forcing myself to go through it and survive it, it doesn't mean that I was immune to the emotional turmoil it brought. I looked at it as though it was a project, but I felt the same sense of loss and frustration that anyone would feel if they had to go through it. Sure, I was better equipped to deal with it emotionally with my background in counseling and my ability to make fun of myself during the most down times but, the reality is this project changed my worldview.

I used to believe that people were generally good. I used to believe in God as a rescuer. I used to have things that I looked forward to with hopeful expectations, excited that my dreams were coming true. Now, I don't feel any of those things.

When I meet people, they are kind of hazy to me. I see us as two souls connecting for just a moment and then it will be over. I have no attachments. I have met no one that I want to be attached to. I have no desires to be attached. I have grown to be comforted by the idea that I could live my entire life alone. Being alone forever is not a fear of mine at all, not anymore.

I think about some of my friends from my past and I think what luxurious lives they lead. It's not that they are so financially secure that they are jet setting from country to country, it's just the things they talk about are so petty to me in the grand scheme of the world.

He's sooo cute!
Girl, I just bought this new dress and it is sooo hot!
I think I'm in love.

Love?

That's a luxury. I have no time for that.

I was talking to a man who professed his love for me but I didn't believe that shit. Love is an action word to me. In fact, I don't have time for that right now. You can think about love when you are comfortable and you're aren't pressed to make things happen. I am not pressed to make my dreams come true right now, I don't believe they MUST happen in order for me to be happy. I look at them like a bucket list of things I know I am capable of and I'm willing to try but it's not like I believe that I deserve them or that I am purposed to be make them happen.

I don't believe in purpose anymore. I believe in trying to create the life you want and if some of those things happen to depend on interactions with others then you have a 50/50 chance of making them happen. If they don't happen, it's okay, you can simply make up another goal or keep fighting for the same one.

I don't know. Being at the complete bottom of the social chain had its toll on me. It showed me how cruel people can be when they think are better off than you are. It taught me how those very people you look down on because they have nothing, can still smile and be happy and laugh and have adventures. It taught me that there is a lot less love in the world than I thought.

My sons are the reason I still believe in love. Yes, I have parents who tell me they love me and siblings who say they care but the reality is, their romantic partners take precedence over any love they could have for me. I understand that and I accept that. It's the way of the world.

I don't know who I'm becoming or where I'm going or even why I feel this way about the world at this moment or how it will benefit me in the future. I just. AM.

I just know that the world goes on with or without me. My life is just a blip on the radar of the Universe, a tiny blip in the grand scheme of things. I am the center of my Universe but in the larger realm of billions of people, an infinite number of stars and who know what other life forms that exist, my silly needs are inconsequential.

I'm still transitioning. Still haven't bought myself a wardrobe and don't want one. I still don't want to socialize with anyone. I have come to the point where I am annoyed by the thought of having sex and I don't even seek anyone to fill that need anymore. It's just ME- spinning around the restaurant serving pancakes, writing on my blog trying to share secrets that will help women to get through the rough times, trying to organize projects that will help to improve the quality of life for people and in between, having certain moments of bliss when my sons come to visit me and we get to bond.

That's my life right now.

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Strategic Efforts & No One Cares- Is It Because I'm Black?

By Te-Erika Patterson

Organizing the partnership between The Rebuild Your Life Project and Denny's Restaurant wasn't exactly a smooth process. I had to articulate my vision for a hiring event that would collectively offer job interviews to the South Florida community on a wide scale basis and a 5 member team from Denny's corporate had to revise and refine it.

My goal was to have each Denny's restaurant in Miami-Dade and Broward counties to participate and have community members in need of employment come into the stores on a specified day during specific hours to be interviewed. After I was asked to send in an additional proposal to my district manager, he hosted a conference call with a member of Denny's marketing team and four other people who would offer insight, including his boss.

That morning during the conference call, I shared my ideas and vision and we all went back and forth, offering input and scaling down the project. Denny's suggested that we open up the interviews to everyone so that we wouldn't discriminate based on gender and they reminded me that every Denny's restaurant in South Florida isn't a corporate owned restaurant so getting the franchise restaurants on board would take some time, if it was at all possible.

We set a date for the hiring event - December 20th, 2011- and the public relations specialist asked me to send over a brochure to send to all of the franchise stores so that they would have information about my project.

The next day I drafted another proposal that detailed my idea along with the revisions that we discussed and I emailed it to the marketing manager, Chris Nichols. I didn't hear back from him for another two weeks and I began to get nervous so I contacted the corporate office and was given his direct phone number. He answered promptly and assured me that things were progressing and that in a corporation, things take time to be approved.

I felt better, but was still nervous because I am a complete control freak when it comes to my work. During The Rebuild Your Life Project, I had to do all of the writing for the marketing campaign myself, while I navigated through the homeless lifestyle, organized my job fair, did interviews to learn from the homeless people I met, did research on how to survive homelessness both physically and mentally and shot and edited videos that I posted daily on youtube. A one man band with a million tasks on my daily to-do list, not including dealing with the psychological ramifications of being homeless, I was in over my head during that project but I survived.

The knowledge that I can overcome anything still didn't stop my panic attacks as I checked my email waiting for word that everything was running smoothly with the partnership with Denny's. Just five days before the event was scheduled, I received the unofficial press release announcing the event and I breathed a sigh of relief.

My vision had been adjusted in a few very smart ways. There wasn't enough time to gather participation from the franchise stores so the district manager of the Miami-Dade restaurants and Broward country restaurants pledged their participation. Instead of having the open job interviews inside the 14 participating stores, there would be two locations that offered the hiring event, one in Miami and one in Broward. During the event, the general managers of each restaurant would be present to interview interested candidates.

The press release from Denny's was finally approved and I sent it to my media list. There were several local African American publications that I sent the press release to as well and I was simply shocked by the response I received from one editor.

"This is great and we commend Denny's however what Black american newspaper does Denny's advertise in?" he wrote to me.

"I am not certain. I am certain, however, that your readers will benefit from this news. It's your call of course," I wrote back.

"I know," he wrote back. "We have to have advertising to get information out to our readers. It's a fine line however that's why we believe in relationships and at this point we DO NOT have one with Denny's."

The next day I was pleased to see that this particular publication did indeed run the press release anyway. It was my first clue as to the yet undiscovered racial tensions between Denny's restaurant and the African American community.

The event went on as planned and I made this video to capture the monumental event.



I was shocked that absolutely no one from the local media decided to cover the event. In fact, if I had not made this video there would be no documentation of the turn-out at all. Through a connection I made during The Rebuild Your Life Project, Hot 105FM host Rodney Baltimore announced the event two mornings in a row during the Tom Joyner Morning Show (a long standing radio program with a focus on the African American community) and nearly every person I met that day informed me that they had heard the announcement on the radio.

At the end of the job fair, which I hosted from the Broward country location, my district manager informed me that 40 people were interviewed in Broward and 62 people had been interviewed in Miami. I was elated and excited about the people who would become employed as a result of our efforts, yet I was confused as to why the local media were not interested in covering a story about an international corporation that was offering employment opportunities 5 days before Christmas.

If I sent out my press release to all of my media contacts and Denny's did their part in marketing the project, at least ONE media outlet should have been interested- right?

I rarely watch television because most of what's on has nothing to do with my personal goals or plans so I don't care, but while visiting my Mom I saw a story on the news about a national chain store giving a woman a free Christmas tree.

Wait. A chain store gives ONE woman a Christmas tree and they get a whole segment on the nightly news and my event wasn't covered by anyone? This doesn't sound right.

I began to blame myself, thinking maybe it's me. Maybe because I have been such a flaming failure at life, some of that energy has tainted my project too. I began to doubt the value that the life lessons I taught as I conquered homelessness and advocated for women would bring to the world.

In my mind, I did something great, but no one in my hometown, at least not the mass media, seemed to care.

Maybe it's me. In my mind, I'm awesome but no amount of effort seems to matter. No matter how much I push, I still get the same result.

An opportunity to shift the blame came when I was invited to participate in a structural organization committee for an African American centered event. During a phone conference I introduced myself and shared my professional experience as a writer and the work that I had done to empower women during The Rebuild Your Life Project.

"You're partnering with who?" one of the committee members asked me.

"With Denny's."

He laughed.

Another phone conference participant chimed in. "If you partnered with an international corporation and actually did what you said you did and it's not on CNN, why do you think that is? You're a WAITRESS, helping people to get jobs. That's national news."

Huh?

"Did you know that Denny's had a class action lawsuit filed against them a while back?" he asked.

A what?

"For racism," he continued. "Denny's doesn't support the Black community."

What? I was confused. "But they said they would support this. We did all of this work together."

"If you say so."

After offering my input to their project, I hung up to draft a proposal for them but as I typed my thoughts were racing. Their words had impacted me more than I thought. The negative energy they passed along had taken root and attached itself to my spirit. I'm already a paranoid person, I don't like fear being added to my mental state by others.

The next day I devised a plan to contact the local media myself and ask them why they weren't interested in covering my event. It would be a report on why good news isn't fit to be news, at least that was my plan. When I shared my plan in an email with the marketing manager Chris Nichols, he told me that he'd call me and we had a 30 minute phone conversation.

I asked him why he thought the media wasn't interested and he said that the press can choose which stories to cover and he didn't think I should be so aggressive in seeking out answers from them.

"They aren't obligated, Te-Erika," he replied softly.

"Well, when we find out how many people were actually hired, can we do another release announcing the success of the event?" I asked him.

"Sure! We can do that," he assured me.

Then I brought up the issue about the racial tensions and he listened and offered his thoughts.

A long time ago Denny's was involved in some racial tensions and there was a law suit but most people don't know that the people who were involved in that don't even work for our company anymore, Chris shared. He said that Denny's had worked hard to gain right standing and had even hired someone to make sure that they have healthy connections within the various ethnic communities.

I hung up feeling more confused than ever. If Denny's did their part in marketing and I did my part in marketing, then how did this fall between the cracks? Does it have something to do with the fact that I am Black?

Wait a minute. I don't think like this. I never allow my skin color to become a reason why I can't have my dreams fulfilled. I never blame my ethnicity for my losses.

This internal debate sparked my creativity as I desperately tried to shake the negativity that clouded my joy.

I made this video that gently urged the African American community to release the mentality of victimhood and take personal responsibility for their own lives. I'd rather blame myself than give anyone the power to say they stopped me from doing what I wanted to do.



And then I waited to hear back from Denny's about the number of people who were actually hired as a result of The Rebuild Your Life Project partnership with Denny's so that I could try to market it again. As I waited, I devised another plan to take this initiative to an even bigger level.

What if I could get other big businesses to partner with The Rebuild Your Life Project to offer a mass hiring event? What if big businesses across the nation decided to take part and people were offered the opportunity of a lifetime, the one break they really needed to rebuild their lives during a time when the average man believes that big businesses don't care about them?

Who could I get to help organize and lead this initiative that would make the biggest impact? Who has already devised plans to create jobs for Americans? Who cares about this topic?

I sat down and drafted yet another proposal. This time it began-

Dear President Obama...

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The Rebuild Your Life Project Partners With Denny's For Hiring Event

On December 21, 2011, more than 100 unemployed South Floridians were given on the spot interviews during The Rebuild Your Life Project's partnership with Denny's Restaurants.

More than 14 corporate owned restaurants in Miami-Dade and Broward counties participated in the hiring event that was held in two different locations, one in Hialeah-Miami Lakes and the other in Hollywood.

Here is a video recap of the event as told by the creator of The Rebuild Your Life Project, Te-Erika Patterson.

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Denny's To Help South Florida Residents "Rebuild Their Lives"

America’s diner will hold open interviews for job seekers Dec. 20

MIAMI (Dec. 14, 2011) – At a time when many Americans are trimming the tree and filling their shopping bags, 10.6 percent of South Florida residents are out of work. To help connect these job seekers with the gift they really want this year, Denny’s is holding a hiring event on Dec. 20 to fill a large number of open positions at 14 of its South Florida diners. The hiring event is part of a partnership with the Rebuild Your Life Project, a program designed to empower women to achieve their personal and professional goals.

On Tuesday, Dec. 20 from 2 p.m. to 5 p.m. at two locations in the Miami/Ft. Lauderdale area, Denny’s will hold open interviews for any job seeker looking for part-time, full-time or management positions. All that a candidate needs to bring with them to be considered are two forms of valid identification. Interviews will be held at:

· Denny’s – 16935 N.W. 67th Ave., Miami Lakes, Fla.(305) 821-7032

· Days Inn – 2601 N. 29th Ave., Hollywood, Fla.(954) 923-7300

“Denny’s is pleased to partner with the Rebuild Your Life Project to provide South Florida residents opportunities for success,” said Denny’s Regional Manager Nader Talebzadeh. “The organization’s mission to inspire those in need to reach for their goals is in-line with Denny’s commitment to the communities we serve and the professional development of our employees. Denny’s supports the Rebuild Your Life Project and encourages women and men in search of life-changing opportunities to participate in this open interview event.”

Denny’s became involved with the Rebuild Your Life Project through Te-Erika Patterson, the organization’s founder who is also a Denny’s employee. In April 2011, Patterson gained exposure by intentionally becoming homeless as part of a living documentary to empower women and demonstrate strategies for rebuilding one’s life during times of extreme hardship. During her bout self-imposed homelessness, Denny’s gave Patterson a chance and hired her as a server in its Hollywood, Fla. diner. She has been a loyal employee ever since and uses her wages to fund philanthropic efforts through the Rebuild Your Life Project.

“Denny’s helped me to rebuild my life by giving me a second chance and now they are offering that same gift to many others in this community,” Patterson said. “I am so thankful for the opportunities Denny’s has provided and for their support in this hiring event. It is my mission to inspire and encourage others and this opportunity is an open door for those looking to change their lives for the better.”

For more information about Denny’s or to find a diner in your area, visit www.Denny's.com.

To learn more about the Rebuild Your Life Project, visit www.mysavvysisters.com.

About Denny's Corp

Denny's is one of America's largest full-service family restaurant chains, currently operating more than 1,600 franchised, licensed and company-owned restaurants across the United States, Canada, Costa Rica, Mexico, Honduras, Guam, Puerto Rico and New Zealand. For further information on Denny's, including news releases, please visit the Denny's website at www.Dennys.com.

About the Rebuild Your Life Project

The Rebuild Your Life Project is an empowerment organization for women designed to teach them to overcome their fear of failure. Our hope is to instill in women the confidence they need to go after their dreams and remove themselves from mentally and spiritually debilitating situations that are holding them back from living joyful lives. For more information, please visit www.MySavvySisters.com.

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The Rebuild Your Life Project Documentary

During MySavvySisters.Com's very first massive empowerment outreach to women, its publisher, Te-Erika Patterson, became homeless on purpose to teach women how to overcome their fear of failure.

Her hope was that in showing what extreme failure looks like, no woman would ever have to fear it again and would be free to face life transitions with confidence that they could REBUILD THEIR LIVES.

During her 4 months as a homeless woman, Te-Erika was able to:

1) Organize a job fair for homeless women and women in distress
2) Report on the pitfalls and benefits of homelessness
3) Raise money for a $650 Rental Assistance Grant For Women
4) Obtain a job as a waitress and move herself up out of homelessness


You can read a more detailed description of her journey into and out of homeless by visiting the Rebuild Your Life Tag on My Savvy Sisters or visiting The Rebuild Your Life Project page.

You can watch the inspirational video series she documented during her journey by visiting our youtube channel and clicking the Rebuild Your Life Project Documentary playlist.

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The Rebuild Your Life Project Summary

The Rebuild Your Life Project, an empowerment outreach presented by MySavvySisters.Com is a continuous effort to support women during their most extreme life transitions.



To kick off this effort on April 11, 2011, Te-Erika Patterson, the publisher of MySavvySisters.Com gave away everything that she owned and became homeless on purpose to encourage women to teach women how to overcome their fear of failure. She aimed to showcase specific mental strategies women need to overcome failure as well as survival skills needed to make it through a life on the streets so that women would never be held bondage by fear of losing again.



MySavvySisters.Com publisher, Te-Erika Patterson, an inspirational journalist and author spent 4 months as a homeless individual in Hollywood, Florida. During her time as a homeless individual she accomplished the following goals:

1) Organized a job fair for homeless women and women in distress.
2) Raised money for a $650 rental assistance grant for women.
3) Reported on the benefits and pitfalls of the homeless lifestyle.
4) Secured a job as a waitress at Denny's that enabled her to move up out of homelessness.

The Rebuild Your Life Project was documented daily in writing on MySavvySisters.Com and in a series of 93 videos on our youtube channel, Embrace Your Fantasy. Each video was recorded on a low budget pocket digital camera, edited and hosted by Te-Erika Patterson. You may view the entire documentary at this link.

A few of the mental strategies for success that Te-Erika taught while homeless:

1. Reprogram Yourself
2. You're Supposed To Be Happy
3. Detach Yourself
4. Be Non Resistant
5. Eliminate Irrational Beliefs
6. Getting Out Of An Abusive Relationship
7. You Are Not A Victim
8. Own Your Greatness
9. Make Peace With Where You Are
10. Redefining Loss

A few of the startling discoveries about homelessness:

1) Inside The Homeless Shelter

2) The Top 10 Places To Sleep If You Become Homeless

3) The Slim Shady Hustle Lesson

4) Working As a Panhandler

5) Resources To Help The Homeless

6) The Faces Of Mental Illness

7) Mary Becomes Homeless To Escape Abuse

8) The Top 3 Reasons For Homelessness

Through donations from strangers and Te-Erika's tips and wages as a server at Denny's, MySavvySisters.Com sponsored a $650 Rental Assistance Grant For Women.

A Note of Thanks From the Rebuild Your Life Rental Assistance Grant recipient:

"When I received the $650.00 I was very thankful. God is very strong. Thanks to Te-Erika, who had that interest and helped me with the rent. Also, I was very surprised that there are very good people in this country, people that will let all go to help other people. I am a single mother and for me to receive money is a blessing. Thanks Te-Erika. Thanks to my God. Thanks so much for your help." ~ Teresita Ortiz

On August 13, 2011 Te-Erika was able to say goodbye to the COSAC homeless shelter and the homeless lifestyle and move into a house with new roommates.

The Rebuild Your Life Project didn't end when Te-Erika moved up out of homelessness. In November, 2011, Te-Erika continued her efforts to empower women by partnering with Denny's Restaurants to offer employment to women in distress.

On December 20, 2011, 14 South Florida Denny's Restaurants Will Offer Employment To Those In Need In Support Of The Rebuild Your Life Project

Read Press Announcement

Published Reports Inspired By The Rebuild Your Life Project

You can read Homeless On Purpose, Te-Erika's investigative report based on The Rebuild Your Life Project published in the Westside Gazette.


Homeless On Purpose - Part 1-What Leads To Homelessness
Homeless On Purpose- Part 2 - The Benefits of Homelessness
Homeless On Purpose- Part 3 - The Pitfalls of Homelessness
Homeless On Purpose- Part 4 - The Homeless Mentality
Homeless On Purpose- Part 5 -Nothing Is Permanent

EBook- The 1% Mentality- The Difference Between The Haves & The Have Nots

12 Key Characteristics that make all the difference between the 1% of America's wealthy and those who are not. Available For Purchase on Kindle.

The Rebuild Your Life Project continues to accept donations that will fund:

1) Establishing an annual grant to award a single mom with housing and living expenses for 3 months so that she can rebuild her life.
2) Survival give-aways, scholarships and financial assistance awards for women.

3) The Homeless Voice Homeless Shelter

4)A redevelopment of MySavvySisters.Com

To Donate By Postal Mail

Address checks to:

Te-Erika Patterson
The Rebuild Your Life Project
P.O. Box 221736
Hollywood, FL 33022


To Donate Online

Paypal donations accepted by sending them to mysavvysisters[at]gmail.com


To Donate Goods or Services
All goods or services donated to The Rebuild Your Life Project will be used as give-aways for our readers. Please send an email to the Lateenya, our Executive Assistant with details about your company, a photo and your offer.


To leave a voice message of support:
Call 678-590-1487

We would appreciate your support during this endeavor. You may choose to become a partner by contributing a monetary donation to our fund and/or publicly supporting this project by means of a newsletter or press announcement.

During this time Te-Erika Patterson is also scheduling speaking engagements at various homeless shelters, women's groups, civic organizations, radio and television programs to speak about REBUILDING YOUR LIFE, our website and its mission. I would love to be included in your organization's next meeting, event or broadcast for an opportunity to share my wisdom, resources and inspiration.

We appreciate your support. You may contact me directly at RebuildYourLife[at]mysavvysisters[dot]com to receive a personal invitation to partner with us.

Te-Erika Patterson

Publisher, My Savvy Sisters

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Final Thoughts About The Rebuild Your Life Project

I chatted with a friend who lives overseas via skype tonight.

She made me smile and laugh as she recounted stories of love, frustration and lust in French. I tried to explain the ramifications of completing a project like the one I am completing and she encouraged me by saying that she thinks I am trying to process everything and then once I gain some sense of normalcy, I'll come up with a plan to make this project be a benefit to me.

Ok.

~cracking knuckles~

Right now, in all honesty I feel like I'm more fucked up in the head than before. I used to be so naiive and trusting, thinking people were generally good but because of the overwhelming negative experiences I've had with people during this project, I now believe that people are more bad than good.

I look at myself and what I attempted to do and how I failed at it and I'm amazed that I tried and stuck it through.

I'm assessing myself and my dreams and what I felt like I was capable of before I began this project. I'm a journalist by nature, not just because I have a degree. I documented my process creatively and I'm proud of that. I organized a job fair all by myself and hosted it, even though it was a flop. I attempted to counsel the women and men I met. I attempted to bring some sort of joy to the homeless shelter where I lived. I attempted to become one of the crowd, to think like the homeless do and to enjoy their activities, habits and dispositions, keeping myself in line with my own personal boundaries of course.

I did all that.

I raised money for a rental assistance grant. I marketed the give-away and conducted it all by myself.

I did all that and then I was hired by two jobs and began working to support myself with very little rest.

I did all that.

I did all that and discovered that the dreams I have to become an international inspirational journalist, author and speaker don't really matter. By meeting the people who have become content in the homeless lifestyle it taught me that happiness shouldn't depend on THINGS. Happiness can be created anywhere and SHOULD be created everywhere.

I am still the same person I was before, just a bit more paranoid and anti-social because now I know that people do not have good intentions. I need some more time to heal from that revelation.

I am not a friendly person. I enjoy taking care of others. I take joy in serving people as a waitress and I can be content with that. I am not a person that most people enjoy being around because of my inability to conform to social norms and expectations and the fact that I am not phony. Phony people despise me. I am content with that. I am not a person that will experience real "I know you and I love you because of who you are" type of love and I am okay with that.

I am the woman you admire from afar because up close is too much to handle. I am content with that.

I am nothing.

Really.

And that's not a bad thing.

I will no longer stress over who I thought I should be and what I should be able to accomplish. For the men and women who have learned or have been encouraged by my videos and messages, I am glad that you have taken something positive from my inner turmoil. I hope it stays with you forever. My hope, sincerely, is to teach women to be better than me. I hoped to teach women how not to be like I am and to find peace with who they are and to understand their power and not be taken advantage of or feel less than because they have not achieved. I put so much pressure on myself that I hated myself for not being able to achieve. I made myself miserable chasing some idea of perfection that I didn't even create for myself.

I am nothing and I'm okay with that.

If I am nothing and I did ALL of this then you can be nothing too and you can be okay with where you are in each phase of your life. Want more for yourself, but realize that if you don't get it, you are still okay. Go for your dreams but realize that if you fall on your face you are still okay. Love hard and with everything in you and realize that if it is not returned it's okay.

It's okay to be nothing. You are perfection in your imperfection. Take the pressure off of yourself by trying to have the biggest house, the best car, the perfect family. Be nothing. Be imperfect. Let your soul glow.

My soul says:

I have too many inconsistencies and imperfections to count.

I never fit into any social system.

Most people who meet me end up hating me.

Every man who gets to know me, hates me.

I have never been loved for an extended period of time.

I do not live the lifestyle of a success.

With ALL of this, I am still going to keep living and smiling and appreciating me. I will keep serving my customers and trying to be a good servant to others. I accept those things I can not change and I may try to work on those things I can, if I feel like it.

I've been to the bottom. It hurt. I could end up there again.

I survived it.

I can do it again.

In the end, I'll live to tell the story again.

I bless you and I thank you for following along with this journey. If you want to read more of my emotionally charged writing and check in on my life you can always stop by my personal blog which I have been writing since 2003.

All my best wishes for your acceptance and appreciation of yourself, flaws and all.

In Love,

Te-Erika

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They Touch A Lot

They kiss a lot. They play a lot. They touch a lot.

They take care of each other.

Yesterday my housemate came out in the backyard while I was there and she and I started talking. She was a little frustrated about her job and then she told other stories of frustrating work situations.

"I had to run out of there and drive straight to James and fall into his arms crying," she described after one of the work related horror stories.

That one sentence echoed in my heart long after she had gone to bed. Imagine, someone to run to when things become overwhelming. Imagine someone caring about you just as much as they care for themselves. Imagine not having to ASK someone to be concerned for you, they just are. Imagine someone willing to take up the slack for your weak points.

I live here in this cozy house and I get to see true love in action. I've watched very closely for his attitude because the last time I had roommates who were a couple he used to hit her. I don't think this man I'm living with now is like that. I can't imagine him even raising his voice. He likes to grill, doesn't even drink beer and cleans the kitchen after dinner.

"I manifested him," she told me. "He's everything I ever wanted."

I wonder how long I'll be living here. I hope that while I'm here he'll continue to be an example of real love. I'm never jealous when I witness a man treating a woman with care and concern. I need to see it. I live to see it. I marinate in thoughts of it as long as I can as proof that there are good men in the world.

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REBUILD: All I Need

My son's 11th birthday was 2 days ago.

I got to spend it with him and his brother. They came over to my house and we went to Denny's and had dessert and then walked over to the movies to see The Smurfs. We came back home and cuddled until we all fell asleep. I slept ALL night, which is unusual for me but Whenever I'm with my boys, for some reason, I can rest.

Then we woke up this morning and went to the beach. It was the PERFECT beach day! The water was shallow and the waves weren't high. We played around on the coast for a while then we picked a restaurant at random and my son chose the seafood pizza which was very awesome because he usually doesn't like to try new things. The pizza was spectacular! I can still taste it right now. OMG! I'd love some more! Then I let them rent those unicycle bicycle type things to ride up and down the boardwalk while I took a nap.

We grabbed icecream cones before taking the bus back home.

All in all we had a wonderful time and man, I am so glad to have a home to take them to.

The project is winding down and I am so glad. I just have 2 more videos to make. I want to introduce my new housemates and then I want to go back to the spot where I filmed my first video for this project and tape a conclusion. Hopefully I'll get this done this week.

I have court tomorrow for the traffic tickets. Everytime I think about it I think about the man who sold me the car without the right title and then how I had to drive the damn car and I get so angry at men and I feel so stupid for always being so trusting of people.

I think I'm a very stupid person for always thinking people have good intentions. This project has enlightened me so much about the nature of people and their ways and it's not for the better. I have no desire to meet new people outside of work. I have no desire to make new friends. I think about the older man a lot because it feels good to think of him, but I have never met a man I liked who liked me back. I'm a handful and difficult and mean sometimes.

I really just want to have fun with my sons and be able to treat them to new experiences and I'd like a car and a quiet place to live with a strong wifi connection. That's really all I need.

All that extra shit, I'm not into anymore. I feel like I was trying to prove something to myself before and now I don't have to.

All I need is to have more days with my sons where I make them laugh and we can sleep together in comfort and I can afford to let them try new things. That's all I need.

Oh yeah. Let's not forget the 5 bars of wi-fi.

Very important.

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REBUILD: Moving Out of The Homeless Shelter

"A big demonstration is usually preceded by tormenting thoughts." ~ Florence Scovel Shinn

This quote had been popping up in my head over the last week or so. I guess it was my intuition telling me to hold on because things would soon change as I had become extremely depressed and paranoid and hopeless about my homeless situation.

Things changed. Just yesterday I packed up my bag and moved out of the homeless shelter.

After four months of living in an old renovated motel with strangers moving in and out and fighting and falling in love and sitting in flies and mosquitoes and sleeping on a mat on the patio floor, I am now free.



I posted an ad on the internet advertising myself for a roommate. I really wanted my own home but the reality is, while I can afford it, it's not the best choice for me right now. The first person to answer my ad was a woman named Cynthia. We spoke over the phone and she invited me over to meet her husband. They have a 4 bedroom house that is located very close to my job at Denny's.

I went to meet with them before my graveyard shift and it was amazing how much she reminded me of me. She's Puerto Rican, he's white. They are 29 years old and are married. They live the life of the law of attraction and are both artists. I immediately felt that this was a situation that I could be happy with.

In fact, I come out on top because with the amount that I pay them for my rent, which includes all utilities, internet and everything, I will have money left over to save for another car. I am so grateful.

Leaving the shelter was bittersweet. After living with so many people for 4 months, although at times I hated the mere THOUGHT of being there, there were some people that I had come to love.

But I'm good at closing chapters of my life. I move on, knowing that just because an experience ended, doesn't mean it's a bad thing.

I'm changing my phone number tomorrow. I changed it just before I started this project 4 months ago and now it's time to do it again. A phone number change does the weeding out for me and I get to start fresh again.

"Now you get to buy all new clothes," my sister commented.

I paused before saying, "For what? I don't go anywhere."

I have no clothes to go out and party or socialize but then again I'm not a social person. I have a few t-shirts and some jogging pants and a couple of shorts. Why would I need more than that? I don't have friends that I hang out with and I don't perform spoken word anymore. All I do is serve tables at Denny's. I guess I can buy myself a new pair of pants for work and some new earrings. Other than that, I don't see myself going out anywhere.

Well, actually, I hoped that I would continue seeing the older man that I wrote about before- the one who makes my soul happy. Well, that has fizzled out- as usual. It's not like I am the one who lost interest THIS TIME, he actually is way too busy for me. I am not sure exactly what he does when he is not working but I think he's involved in so many community activities that he doesn't really have the time or interest to call to get to know me and spend time with me.

Oh well. I still have the good feeling I feel when I think of him. I can hold on to that whenever I need a boost. He taught me what it's like to spend time with a man who doesn't want to sleep with me immediately. He would always say, "I believe in you." I appreciate that.

My new room is just the right size and temperature. Before I even unpacked my housemate Cynthia took me to the store to buy new bed linens and I picked out a comforter set in warm colors, just the way I like it. I feel like a princess. I even bought a new night dress that makes me feel sexy and grown up, just like I wanted to feel.

My new housemates are cool, or so they seem. We talked about my need for privacy and personal space and how I hate social obligations. They talked about not wanting to be woken up late at night with loud music and simple courtesy between humans. I think we agree on most things and I do look forward to getting to know them better.

I just woke up from my morning nap after my overnight shift. I'll probably take another nap before work tonight and then I'm off for 4 days. Wow. What will I do with myself? Probably, create another life changing project or something. ~smile~

Oooh wee! I can't WAIT to focus on MySavvySisters again. I'm going to go overboard in creating content and reaching out to awesome women so they can share the secrets to their success with us. I look forward to seeing my sons and sleeping in the bed with them again.

My older son turns 11 tomorrow. I can't believe it. I had just turned 21 when I gave birth to him and for the longest he was my lil partner and we spent all of our time together. Then along came his brother and it was just the 3 of us for a while. After they went to stay with their dad I was on my own again. I'm only lonely when I'm surrounded by people and I can't talk to them because they won't understand me so loneliness isn't a big issue in my life right now.

I'm in my bed.

My own bed.

I need a TV but I won't make it an issue until I save enough for a car. I won't buy clothes until I figure out what I will need nice clothes for and then I'll have to re invent my look because I am a different person now.

Who knows what I'll rebuild my life into next. I have those things that are most important- a quiet space to be creative, my health and a job that I absolutely love.

Mmmm. Something smells good in the kitchen. I'll go and see if they'll share their food with me. I don't have a car and there's no grocery store around here or places to buy food so I'll have to figure out how to feed myself when I'm not working since I don't cook. Uh oh. My intuition just suggested Ramen noodles. ~sigh~ If I have to, I will.

I feel good.

I can't believe this is finally over.

I'm at peace right now.

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Everyone Has A Story

I worked a double shift and I am so grateful. The early morning shifts are busy, but I don't make money on them. I miss working overnights. Next week I'll be back.

I'm tired.

I realized today that at almost 4 months of being homeless, I am now a veteran. When new people come to the shelter, they all ask the same questions about vending the newspaper, the staff, the policies. I used to ignore them but now I patiently explain things and listen to their stories.

We moved down here to find jobs but couldn't find them so that's why we're here.

I came back to South Florida to see the place I was born in and I didn't know motels would be so expensive and my money ran out.

I came down here expecting to stay with a friend but the friend ditched me and didn't even pick me up from the airport so I'm stuck.

I was running away from my husband and took the first bus I saw and ended up here in South Florida.

So many stories.

So many regular people who seemed to have run out of luck for a minute. It could be you some day. Hopefully not. Not everyone who becomes homeless stays that way. Most of the people here are all looking for a second chance at life.

Just like me.

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REBUILD: Backwards Motion

"Do you want a beer?" she asked as she drove me home from work.

Shit. Why not? I took the half can of liquid and took a long swig and exhaled. My thoughts raced back to earlier in the day when I was sweating profusely in the hot sun on the bus stop after visiting the apartment that my co worker told me about which turned out to be in the projects. Nice size rooms. Very cozy but no air conditioning. In South Florida? I didn't think those places existed.

"Look at these shoes," the lady sitting next to me on the bus stop said as she showed off her white sneakers. "K Swiss. I got these from Goodwill today. It's amazing what people throw away."

Throw away.

Throw away.

Throw away.

My sun dresses.

My shoes.

My accessories.

My furniture.

My jean collection.

My hats.

My jackets.

Everything.

Gone.

Nearly 4 months ago.

For what?

To inspire.

To inspire?

How the hell am I inspiring anyone while living like this? I receive email after email from women all over the country asking ME for help with rent, with jobs, with encouragement yet, I need all of those things.

I feel like the biggest loser yet, I've been losing all my life. All of this potential and talent yet, my personality and strong stance against conformity have led me to struggle for most of my days. Food stamps. Welfare. Section 8. Me.

Oh yeah. I got a letter at work today. Child support will now be deducted from my paychecks. Ok so I called them myself so they can deduct it but it seems real now. He's still winning. But my kids are too.

These pants I'm wearing are too tight. I need some new clothes but I dare not spend any money on clothes. I have to save to move. I need underwear.

I'm serving table after table. $3. $5. $10 if I'm lucky. I walked out of work with $50 tonight. $20 a day on cabs unless I want to melt in the hot sun.

The wheels are spinning but they are spinning backwards.

I cried today. In the hot sun. On the bus stop. In front of strangers.

I regret it. I regret it. I regret it.

I regret it.

Why the hell did I do this? This ain't no way to live.

Who the hell am I inspiring? Surely not me.

What the hell am I doing here?

A youtube viewer wrote me an email. The words still haunt me.

"All those years you were searching for someone to guide you, you were searching for yourself."

Yes. Yes.

I listen to my intuition now but it's not leading me to a comfortable place. The fears that this is all that I deserve in life overwhelm me. It's what I know yet, my insides churn with the belief that I am supposed to live abundantly with the world as my oyster.

No oysters over here. Just beenie weenies and beans. Cheap cigarettes and sweaty nights on the patio.

I trust no one.

No one is on my side. Everyone is against me. I have no one to admire or look up to. The more I meet leaders, the more disgusted I am by leadership. I'm not a leader. I'm a mess.

I'm moving backwards and I'm sorry. Money's coming in slow on the swing shift.

$3. $5. $10 if I'm lucky.

And tonight's the kind of night where, I have a few swigs of a beer and I cry myself to sleep because tomorrow I have to get up and face it all again.

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REBUILD: Just Thinking

I just got back from working the swing shift at Denny's. The swing shift sucks because there are no customers until around 9pm so the rest of the time you're just doing sidework, hoping someone will come in.

I generally make around $45 during the swing shift which sucks because I take the cab there and back and that's $20 right there. Thank goodness I like the people I work with or I'd be so upset. I wish they'd put me back on the overnight shift but when you're in the restaurant business, you work whenever they need you. I really like my managers too. Especially my GM. He really cares about the people there. He's respectful.

I got a text message from one of the guys at the shelter. He left for about a month, trying to make it on his own in an apartment but he ended up right back here. This is a cycle for most of the people here. For some reason they can't seem to be consistent with taking care of themselves. I would argue that its their drug habits or mental capacities but sometimes I think it's just, if you know there is something to fall back on- the shelter- you tend not to grind as hard as you can.

Anyway, he sent me a text message saying he's setting up my bed for me. I smiled. He means that he is laying out my mat on the floor and making sure I have blankets. That's sweet. He knows I like to sleep on the patio near the outlet so that I can be on my laptop until I fall asleep. Most of the men here are like that. They make corny jokes and tell me I'm pretty. They share whatever they have with me and I have met some good people here.

I've also met some assholes but hey, those are the ones I chose to be around so I blame myself.

Today was cool. I woke up at 5am like we always have to and sometimes I go to the beach until I get sleepy again but today I just sat here like everyone else who isn't physically capable of going out to vend the newspaper. I hate sitting still. I have to do something with myself in every minute or I feel like I'm wasting my life. I really don't understand how for some people, just hanging around is cool. I don't watch TV so I can't waste time doing that. I study a LOT. I used to study more. Any chance I get to learn something new about philosophy I do.

I really enjoy reading channeled material from Abraham and other people who claim to hear messages from more highly evolved beings. I think it's interesting and very helpful and yes, I do believe these messages to be beneficial. I don't question them or think they're of the DEVIL. I don't believe in the devil. The devil is the negative mind state that holds you back from believing in your own power to shape your life.

Today at work a girl told me about her new apartment. To move in all she needed was $555. No deposit, just the first month's rent and she says she likes it a lot. I think I'm going to go for it- that is- after I finish saving that amount. I have almost $300 to my name after I had to pay the shelter back for bonding me out of jail so everyday I'm hustling. I'd hope to have 2 months of rent before I move in so that I won't be pressed but we'll see what happens.

Today I was studying imperialism. The opposite of imperialism is nationalism although I don't see that as the true opposite. To me, the opposite of imperialism is a system set up where the PEOPLE govern themselves in small mini societies. I'm not sure that will work though. At least the people I'm surrounded by now, all have trouble governing themselves.

I don't have any answers, all I know is I want to help people to love themselves more and reach enlightenment so that they won't feel bad about who they are. I used to hate myself so much but it's really because I had all of these expectations from life and they weren't happening as fast as I wanted them to so I chalked it up to me not being deserving or capable and that lessened by sense of self worth.

I'm working on that. AND I'm working on being more compassionate. I love to help people but I draw a line at people who hurt me. If you hurt me on purpose then I say, "F&&& YOU!" and I never speak to you again. That's not right. Well, according to the Dala Lama. We should be compassionate towards ALL people, regardless of how they treat us.

Anyone's interactions with you is really a reflection of how they feel about themselves anyway. We take shit so personally when really nothing anyone OUTSIDE of you does, has anything to do with you. They are just releasing the energy they have stored inside and it comes out in word or deeds. If they hate themselves, they will spew hate at you. If they feel less than you, they will criticize you. If they feel like they are losing in life, they will steal or try to sabotage your success.

No truly happy person will try to bring drama and strife into your life. That's kind of why I'm not into prosecuting the man who raped me. I do blame myself for getting into that situation but at at the same time I know he was wrong for having sex with me when I said STOP- No! But I took the time to send him positive energy and I wished for his success. I know that sounds stupid but I don't think he's a bad person and I don't wish jail time for him or pain for his life. I'm over it.

The bright spot in my life right now is my job AND this older man I've been seeing. He's so different. I can't believe that I haven't successfully pushed him away yet. There seem to be a lot of difference like:

1) He doesn't call me just to talk.
2) He's so busy that I rarely see him because he does a lot of community work.
3) He's quiet.
4) He doesn't try to sleep with me.

I like him in a way, but maybe I'm more intrigued by him because he's so different and weird. Yesterday I spent time with him. He took me to lunch at this buffet and I loved it. Then he took me to the beach and let me talk and talk and talk. He's 20 years older than I am so I KNOW he has stories to share but he doesn't really talk, he just listens and smiles at me.

He called me, "Baby." I laughed. That was cute. His eyes light up when he sees me. I love that. He's also a caretaker, meaning, I have no worries when I'm with him. I think he'd chew my food if I needed it.

"Are you happy in life?" I asked him.

He was thoughtful before he replied, "Yes and No. There are some things I wish were different. Happiness is a journey."

"Happiness is a CHOICE!" I said emphatically. "You can choose happiness at any moment by the thoughts you choose to dwell on."

"I'm with you right now and that makes me happy," he said.

Smooth. So smooth. The older ladies should be jumping at being with him. He always says and does the right thing.

"Rap is irrelevant," I declared as he switched the radio station to Hip hop while we were cruising down Sheridan on our way to the beach.

"I said that 5 years ago," he said, casually changing lanes and stealing glances at me in the passenger seat.

"Yeah but I can't just say rap is irrelevant without adding something that IS relevant. It's stupid to make a criticism without a solution," I said.

"Well, talk about the economy," he suggested.

"The economy is a mind state," I told him.

"Well talk about imperialism," he said.

"What's that?"

"Something for you to look up."

So I did. And then engaged in an awesome conversation with Christina Fermin, one of the editorial writers for My Savvy Sisters. She is so freaking smart in all the ways I am not and I appreciate knowing her because she makes me more well rounded. My news coordinator Berlyne is like that too. I live in a bubble of philosophy and inspiration so without having them I wouldn't be knowledgable about the state of the world at all.

Anyway, it's after 2am and I need to get some sleep before the 5am wake up call.

Later.

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