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Showing posts with label Crisis. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Crisis. Show all posts

Thursday, January 12, 2012

3 Ways To Overcome Late Night Anxiety


It's the middle of the night. You can't sleep. You're being tormented by evil thoughts.

Every single critical word that has ever been uttered to you is replying itself over and over in your mind. The most hurtful words are the ones you've said to yourself. You're trying to rest, to stop the fluttering of your heart and to calm your mind but even those images that appear after your consciousness fades is alarming. It seems as though your entire being is being overtaken by demons intent on torturing you with threat of permanent failure and self disgust.

What can you do when the late night anxiety attacks become overwhelming?

1. Call the crisis hotline. You are in an emotional crisis when your problems seem bigger than any solution and your brain is pressing you to fix everything at once. It is during this emotional state that many consider taking action to end their lives and their problems once and for all. You do not have to allow things to progress this far. There are crisis hotlines available 24 hours a day to talk you through any emotional downturn.

Use them.


2. Stand up to the tormenting thoughts. Your negative thoughts are powerful. For some reason, the promise of failure and humiliation far outweighs the possibility of abundance and favor. These thoughts which can be viewed as demonic thoughts are not as powerful as you are. You can stand up to these thoughts if you are emotionally healthy by recognizing each thought and searching for an exception.

If the demonic thought is- No one ever likes me. I never get a second date.

Take a moment to remember the ONE time where this thought simply wasn't true. There are exceptions to every rule and you WILL find one.

Stand up to the thought by saying: That is not true. Bill liked me in 10th grade, in fact he loved me. I am loveable.

Find the exception to each demonic thought and say, "No, this isn't true."


3. Allow the turmoil to play out. This is the most difficult method to try to tame your anxiety attack because during the darkest hours of the night, the minutes roll by slowly and if you are not strong enough emotionally you will feel forced to take action to stop the thoughts which will become physically hurtful to you.

Our stressful thoughts of anxiety become physically debilitating and to ease the physical pain, we seek relief from drugs, alcohol or other self abusive methods.

If you can learn to ride the wave of the anxiety attack, understanding that it is just that, a wave. It is a moment in time. It is not permanent. It is not a defining moment in your life. It is not the end of your story.

Your thought at this moment do not dictate your future. These thoughts are a last ditch attempt to persuade you that you are not worthy to have the life of your dreams. The only time you will experience the images and thoughts you are having during your anxiety attack is right now.

These scenes, worries and fears will never play out in your real life.

Relax. This is the warped part of your movie where you get to see the alternate ending that will not come true. These anxious thoughts are not real. They are fiction. They are entertaining. They will pass.

This will be over soon.

Allow each thought to float in and to float out. Feel the emotion behind each scenario that is causing you anxiety. All of these feelings and thought will end. You will be even more clear when they do. You will be okay. These thoughts do not define you. These fearful scenes do not define your life. This is not real. This is a passing moment.

It will be over soon. Wait and see.

Friday, June 17, 2011

How To End An Abusive Relationship

By Te-Erika Patterson


It can be confusing to admit to yourself that you are in an abusive relationship. You may be thinking that you deserve the treatment and if you could just be better it would stop. The truth is, your abuser is only doing what you allow him to do. You have the control. When you are ready for it to stop, it will.



Signs You Are Ready To Stop The Abuse
  • You begin to wonder why your abuser is treating you this way.
  • You begin to fantasize about leaving.
  • You realize that you don’t deserve this treatment.
  • You start to notice and admire others who have supportive, healthy relationships.

Everything that you see, that is good, that is peaceful, that is right, is available to you as well. It won’t come if you stay where you are. YOU have to make the change and deal with the consequences. The struggle will not last forever. The beginning is the struggle, the breakthrough is the commencement of the evolution away from your current state and your final resting place will be peace.

You can not change your abuser. You can not make them stop. They have gotten into a habit of treating you this way because you accepted it once, twice and many more times. To change the behavior would take a complete remaking of your relationship. A counselor can not help you, only you can.

You have to let your abuser know that this behavior is unacceptable. This is not about words or threats, this is about taking action. You must leave this situation immediately. Breaking all ties is the only way. Even if you desire to be with this person again, it will never be what you want it to be if you do not break the cycle now. You can not force the healing process.

Your abuser will have to undergo his own personal transformation, on his own terms, in order for things to be different. Do not stop your life waiting for him because there are so many ways that you are going to grow during this period and focusing/praying for his recovery will stunt that growth. You are responsible for yourself. You are only responsible for your own growth. This will not be your last chance for love.

To get help with moving on from this abusive relationship physically, you can find information on this Violence Against Women page.

There IS help available. I used it once when I needed to get away and I received a grant to change residences.

Take a deep breath. Recognize that this is a defining moment in your life and fight through your fears right now. Move forward. Your peaceful life is waiting. You won't be a victim for long.

For My Savvy Sisters: Were you ever in an abusive relationship? How did you get out? What is your life like now?

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