3 Ways to Get What You Want For Xmas

It's the holiday season and we all want to feel appreciated and cared for by being given nice gifts. The truth is, men aren't mind readers and sometimes they need that extra push to get them to do the things we really want them to do, and that's okay.

Today I will teach you how to get exactly what you want for Xmas by using your wit and feminine-wise.


Ask For What You Want
Although we'd love it if we had men who would 'get' us and understand our needs and wants, it's unrealistic to believe that they are wired to be that way. Men don't think the way we do so the most clear cut way to get what we feel we deserve is to simply ask for it.

Sit your man down, look him in the eye and say, "I want a new refrigerator/handbag/vacation." Wait for him to acknowledge what you said and then don't mention it again. Never beg. If he is a good man he has heard you and will do his best to appease you.

Bait & Switch
Sometimes the things we want are a bit pricey and you know your man better than I do so you know if he'll go for the expensive gifts or if he is a bit on the frugal side. To side step this issue you need to do the bait & switch. Say you want a new frame for your wedding photo and it costs $150, find another frame that is considerably more expensive and show them both to him, highlighting the more expensive one first.

Say, "We need a new frame for our wedding photo and I really want this one but it's $350." When he raises his eyebrow at the price casually show him the lesser priced frame and say unenthusiastically, "I guess we can settle for this one, it's not as nice as the other one, but I think it will work." He will probably feel relieved at this point. You can do your happy dance in the kitchen when he's not looking.

Oral Pleasure
Under no circumstances are you to dole out oral pleasure unless your man is being a good boy. Do everything BUT that, because that treat is reserved for special favors and rewards for good behavior.

During your late night love making session, take a break between orgasms to cuddle with him and tell him how much you love him. Just as he is about to doze off, wake him back up with this special treat and then in the midst of the process, stop, look up at him and then ask for what you want. He'll be too far gone to say anything but yes and you can hold him to his word the next day by showing him where to buy it and how much it will cost.

If for some reason none of these techniques don't work that means you have a lazy man who doesn't care to make you happy. If this is the case, buy what you want for yourself with his money.

Happy Holidays!

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How To Talk To Your Child About Cancer

The Silver Pen, an inspirational website for women created by Hollye Jacobs offers women a special gift in honor of breast cancer awareness month. Hollye, who overcame a battle with breast cancer just one year ago created the site to honor the silver linings she celebrates through all life situations as her own life value blossomed due to her awakening.

Please take a moment to view the video series she created to share her story and wisdom for helping your family to communicate more effectively when dealing with a life threatening illness like breast cancer. In the first video she explains why it is important to speak openly to children about cancer and the best way to approach the subject.

Thank you Hollye for such a remarkable and thoughtful video.

The Silver Lining: Tools for Talking with Children about Cancer from Hollye Jacobs / TheSilverPen.com on Vimeo.

To learn more about Hollye and her efforts to support women through an extreme life transition like cancer, please visit her website, The Silver Pen.

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Confessions of an Internet Troll

You wrote:

I am an online "troll". My angry heart has taken front and center of my personality. That anger has festered and eaten away at my own happiness. Online anonymity has increased this. It's made me much quicker to lash out and bluntly, sometimes tastelessly and tactlessly, express myself. This is a double edged sword. Since my mind has trained it's self to lash out and attack online, that training doesn't just stop when I get off the computer. That instinctual response to lash out and be nasty overflows to my interactions with people whom I love the most, causing so much damage. My birthday is just two days away; I'll be turning 20 and it really hurts my heart that my family relationships are so fragile and ruined thanks to this troll that dwells inside of me.

Things have gotten so bad that I'll be having a lonely birthday :( I really just need to pour my soul out and you seem less judgmental, yet possess more sweet critique than most people I know. I'd really appreciate it if you could find the time to message me back and give me any possible advice, help, suggestions, anything! I don't want to spend another year alive letting relationships and possibilities rot away because I've been hurt and it feels better to get mad about it than to be sad. I'd love to eliminate this issue before I have children of my own and pursue serious romantic relationships so please, please pretty please with extra whip cream, a cherry, some butterscotch toppings and some buttery sweet peanut toppings with a little squeeze of tangerine juice on the side, please help me out. I know I can't be the only person who feels this way and experiences this dissatisfaction. I'm sure a lot of people could benefit from your insight on this topic as well.

My REPLY:

Hi. Thanks for writing and for even wanting to change the way things are. I can imagine that you are angry with yourself for being a person who hurts others but you can not stop because you are hurting so much inside that you can't help but release your feelings in this way.

The internet is a powerful tool and many of us use it to express ourselves in a way that we feel we can not socially. I happen to write erotica and post it online. In real life I cringe at the thought of sexual experiences because they have not been good for me. Do you see what I do differently than you do? Although I am a bit angry about not having had good sexual experiences, instead of lashing out in anger(which I do sometimes), I take the time to use my creative energy to fantasize and increase my professional writing portfolio which means my frustration now adds value to my life. I also focus on what I want to receive instead of what I do not want to receive; this makes all the difference in your life satisfaction.

My main piece of advice is for you to find a way to make money from your "skill". Become a critic blogger or a dominatrix. You don't really have to 'fix' this issue, all you have to do is redirect it so that it becomes something that adds value to your life.

If you really want to fix the issue, let's examine it. When most people lash out they do so out of frustration because there is something in their life they feel powerless about. They desire something that they believe they can not have and it makes them irritable and annoyed.

What you are frustrated about in your own life? What motivates you to read things online and then express your displeasure about them? Anytime we actively seek out things to criticize it is probably a sign that we are overly critical of ourselves. What is it about yourself that you think is wrong and should be fixed, well, besides this little issue we're exploring?

Do you have expectations of yourself or others that are not being realized? Did someone hurt you? Do you not meet your own expectations for your life? The only way to release the anger of not meeting your own expectations or not having others meet your own expectations is to understand that you can not have everything you want, not when it comes to how others interact with you. You can not MAKE anyone interact with you the way you want them too.

Life is not supposed to be scripted. You are not supposed to walk the precise path of your imagination. Your imagination is limited and life is more abundant than anything that you can perceive. Let life take its course and roll with it. It's okay for things NOT to turn out the way you want them too. Release the need to be in control all of the time. If things don't go your way, simply say, "That's life sometimes," and then set a new goal or walk in a new direction.

As far as you lashing out on the internet, I would suggest you take a more constructive way of releasing your frustration with your life.

• Get physical. With the same passion that you would type out a nasty remark, start running to exercise and release your angst. A better hobby would be boxing; women can benefit from that too.
• Write a story about a bitter woman who changes her ways and describe what happens in her life. Streamline your talent for communication into a field that could be profitable.

I don't want you to push away the people in your life and I know you are hurting because you already have. To make all of these relationships better I suggest you speak to anyone you truly care about and apologize sincerely for your past behavior. Tell them that you are working on being different and you are tired of being angry. You don't have to explain any further. To reveal something as heartfelt as this will help you to bond with them again.

In order to STOP cursing people out, please stop being so angry with yourself. I find that my extreme judgment of people stems from a place of inner dissatisfaction. Whenever I am disappointed in my own progress, I am often critical of others.

Be okay with who you are right now. Decide you will be okay with what comes your way in the future. There is nothing that can completely destroy your life; please accept this as fact. There is nothing you can do to ruin your entire future. No matter what happens, you can redirect your path and still be happy. You are destined for happiness as soon as you let go of your anger.

You can do this. One day at a time, friend.

It's okay. You're okay.

Let me know how things work out for you.

Love,

Te-Erika

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11 Ways To DeStress Your Experience With Mail Order Pharmacies

By Kitty K. Free

As a mail-order pharmacy service rep, I’ve learned a lot that I’d like to share. The following are some things I wish I could tell my patients, but am not always able to. I’ll spare you my complete feelings about the act of profiting, by charging people ridiculous amounts of money, for life saving medications.

Don’t get me wrong—there should be a fee, but, it should be affordable, like over the counter meds. People shouldn’t go broke, or die, because they can’t afford meds. There was a time, long ago, when medicines were created solely to help people, not to profit from them. In any case, here are some things to help you, have as easy a time as possible, dealing with your pharmacy:

1. No one cares about your medication more than you. If you’re expecting meds in the mail, but haven’t heard anything about it, call your pharmacy! I’ve encountered many patients that are waiting for medications for days, even weeks. Stay on top of it. You are your biggest advocate.

2. See about copay assistance programs. Check with the manufacturer of your medication, your pharmacy, your doctor, or look online, to find out if there are any copay assistance programs available for your medication. And don’t automatically assume you don’t qualify. Now, this one is something pharmacies push, because if it’s more affordable, you’re more likely to buy your meds. Also, always ask for generic if your doctor allows it.

3. Pay attention to your drug formulary. Drugs can change status from preferred to non-preferred, causing a huge increase in costs.

4. Some meds are only available by mail. Your local pharmacy, for any number of reasons, may not carry certain meds. Be sure to verify this with your insurance to avoid delays in your therapy.

5. Some meds are available at your local pharmacy, for a limited time, until your insurance increases your copay. They do this because it’s more cost effective for some drugs to be sent by mail-order, verses, being stored at a local pharmacy. This is no secret, but it’s something that’s not well understood by everyone. For example: you can go in May to fill your birth control at your local pharm for $20, but then try to refill in June, and it’s $50. That could be because you must start getting it by mail.

6. The customer service rep does not run the company. Often times, these overworked, underpaid reps, are also frustrated by company policies. The people responsible for making decisions about how your meds are handled, will never speak to you. So if you are frustrated with policies, or the handling of your medications, etc… ask to speak to a supervisor. If you have a complaint, WRITE THE COMPANY! Send a certified letter for confirmation of receipt. Email works too, but can be “accidently” deleted. I say do both. This, of course, can go for, any customer service situation. Also, let your insurance company, and your HR department, know about issues you’re having.

7. Verify your pharmacy’s refill policy. Some pharmacies call their patients, some don’t. If you’re taking a maintenance medication, stay on top of it! You are one of many, and can slip through the cracks. It’s not the pharmacy’s intention to have that happen, but they’re processing thousands of prescriptions a day, someone’s bound to get lost, and you don’t want it to be you.

8. Make sure you have refills left. Verify—by phone, not on line—the amount of refills you have and the dates that it’s valid. The life of a prescription is one year. That doesn’t necessarily mean you have a year’s worth of refills, but it does mean you have an expiration date, and if you’re past that date, then you need a new prescription.

9. Call at least a week before you need your meds. Just because the shipments may be overnighted, doesn’t mean you want to call Monday for Tuesday delivery. Your prescription needs to process amongst thousands of others. Processing sometimes includes, contacting your doctor’s office, verifying insurance, processing prior authorizations, and so on.

10. Check with your insurance or pharmacy about getting a 90 day supply. Keep in mind, some insurance companies will allow you a 90 day supply only after you’ve met a certain minimum supply. For instance; you may need to get three, thirty day supplies consecutively, before you can get a full 90 day supply.

11. If your med is administered at your doctor’s office, make sure they have it on hand before you go. Just because they made an appointment with you, doesn’t mean they have your drug. I can’t tell you the number of times that patients call, upset, after going all the way to their doctor’s, just to find out their drug wasn’t there. I’d like to yell at them, “Why didn’t you make sure they had the drug before you went!” Also, make sure your doctor isn’t using someone else’s drug on you, or using your drug on someone else. For example: If you and another patient both use Gamunex, and the doctor’s office stores the med for the both of you; the medication that has your name on it, should not be used for another patient, and medication with someone else’s name on it, should not be used for you. That is illegal.

TERM YOU SHOULD KNOW- Prior Authorization/Pre-certification/Coverage Review – there may be some other names, as they may vary by insurance. It’s basically a list of questions your insurance wants your doctor to answer to verify the necessity of a medication and/or procedure. For medications, in some cases, you just need one for the pharmacy to provide the medication. In other cases, say for injectables, you may need one for the pharmacy to provide it, and another for the doctor to administer it.

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How To Interpret Your Dreams

Did you wake up from a weird dream confused by the images that you saw? Did you visit various websites to check the symbols and their definitions in order to make sense of what happened during your dream life?

The truth is, no one can interpret your dreams better than you can. Your dream world is highly personal and each scenario that you encounter has a meaning that only you can decipher. If you really want to know what your dream means try answering these questions?

1. What is happening in your waking life that you wish would be different?
Your dreams may be an indication of your secret wishes for yourself.

2. How does the dream make you feel when you wake up?
Sometimes the symbols in your dreams have nothing to do with what the dream is trying to teach you. Often, the emotional state you are in when you awake from a dream is the dominant message you can take away from the dream. If you are confused when you wake up, you may be feeling the same way about an issue in your life and it needs to be confronted.

3. What are your best wishes for your life?
Since you are the author of your life, which means you have the power to give definitions to the situations and people you encounter, you can decide for yourself what your dreams mean. If you see a beautiful shoe in your dream, you can decide for yourself what that symbol means. You can say, "I saw a shoe in my dream and that means that it is time for me to move on in life" or "I saw a shoe in my dream so that means that I have a beautiful surprise coming my way." Even a horrible dream can be interpreted to mean that you have faced your worst nightmare in your dreams and you won't have to experience it in your waking life.


You have the ultimate power over the meaning of your dreams. Choose good definitions. Your dreams only have the definitions that you give them.

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You're Not Ready To Buy A House If...

Life has a way of making us want to measure our success by reaching certain life milestones. By 18, we need to be headed to college. By 25 we should be married. By 30 we should have our first child and by 35 we should be running the PTA and managing our own businesses.

You don't have to succumb to the pressure to keep up with the pace of your parents or friends. They're living their lives on their own frequency and you are allowed to do the same. No, you don't need to own your first home by the time you're 31 in order to feel successful but we often think this is what we need to do in order to feel 'grown up'. This isn't true. You're holding yourself down by tying yourself to an investment that isn't really necessary right now.

In fact, if you still...

• Haven't traveled to the place you've been dreaming of visiting
• Have yet to save enough to pay off your car
• Are drowning in student loan debt
• Aren't happy in the city where you live
• Daydream about making a career change
• Are not thinking about settling down
  
• Are under 35
• Have lived in one city your entire life
• Have never been placed in a situation where you have to figure a way out all by yourself
• Are still depending on your parents to bail you out
• Do not have a dependable second stream of income outside of working for a wage

Buying a house will hold you back from being free to chase the opportunities that could lead to the lifestyle of your dreams.

You'll get to that home ownership stage later but for now, focus on living the most adventurous life possible filled with those magical events that you never thought could happen in real life. They can and they will if you don't burden yourself with owning 'stuff' that holds you back from experiencing the freedom of life which eventually ends up shackling you to where you are.

FREE YOURSELF!

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Smart Advice For Sad Love Songs By Women

Music is a ministry in itself. The lyrics you hear in your favorite songs speak to your soul, imbedding themselves in your psyche. For some reason, popular songs about begging for love strikes a chord in your heart which allows this scenario to play out over and over again in your lives because you think if its in a song, its acceptable to feel this way.

It's not.

Here is Part 1 of Smart Advice For Sad Love Songs By Women.






THE ARTIST: Mary J. Blige
THE SONG: I'm Going Down



THE LYRICS:

Why'd you have to say goodbye
Look what you done to me
I can't stop these tears from fallin from my eyes
I'm going down
Since you ain't around
My whole world's upside down

ADVICE: There are 6 billion people on the planet. Get your ass up and get over it.


THE ARTIST: Mariah Carey
THE SONG: We Belong Together



THE LYRICS:

I'm feeling all out of my element
Crying, Throwing Things
Trying To Figure Out
Where the hell I went wrong

ADVICE: Buy a new pair of shoes, set a goal for yourself and stop breaking your own stuff. That's not too smart, hon.


THE ARTIST: Tracey Chapman
THE SONG: Gimme One Reason to Stay Here




THE LYRICS:
Gimme one reason to stay here
And I'll turn right back around
Gimme one reason to stay here
And I'll turn right back around
Said I don't wanna leave you lonely
You gotta make me change my mind

ADVICE: You are begging him to convince you to stay. Really? Just go back to him already.


THE ARTIST: Etta James
THE SONG: I'd Rather Go Blind



THE LYRICS:

Something told me it was over
When I saw you and her talking
Something deep down in my soul said cry girl
When I saw you and that girl walking round
I would rather go blind boy
Than to see you walk away from me child

ADVICE: You'd rather go blind? That's pitiful. Better take a lesson from Beyonce because you can really have another him in a minute.


THE ARTIST: Whitney Houston
THE SONG: I Have Nothing



THE LYRICS:

Don't make me close one more door
I don't want to have to hurt anymore
Stay in my arms if you dare
Or must I imagine you there
Don't walk away from me
I have nothing
If I don't have you

ADVICE: You have nothing? Young lady, you have a lot. You have health, beauty and free will. Or just go ahead and have an imaginary relationship but please, STOP BEGGING HIM NOT TO WALK AWAY FROM YOU!

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Facebook COO Sheryl Sandberg Encourages Women To Stand Up

In this beautifully delivered TED Talk, the COO of Facebook, Sheryl Sandberg explains the top 3 reasons she believes women are not more frequently in the positions of power at major corporations. She also offers 3 ways women can stop sabotaging themselves and make their stay in corporate America more rewarding.

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5 Ways Wise Women Make Money

My Savvy Sisters don't work hard. We make strategic moves that enable us to live the lives we desire. We have the common sense to use our senses to create a steady flow of income.

SIGHT
What is it that you can recognize better than anyone else? Can you spot a fake Louis Vuitton in 10 seconds? Can you recognize grammatical mistakes in a published book? Does everyone you know call you to help them put together an outfit?

There is SOMETHING that your eyes are better tuned in to recognize than most people. Figure out what it is and learn how to profit from it. Start a blog. Begin writing about your expertise. You are an expert, even if you don't believe it. Even if you spend time reaching out to people you admire and asking for the secrets to their success, you are still providing valuable information.

You can make money from your blog by offering advertising space and placing google ads. If you are dedicated to writing about your particular area of expertise, your income will increase.


HEARING
There is a particular topic that you absolutely LOVE to learn about. There is something that is so fascinating to you that you have to find out more about it every single day. Your ears are tuned in to this frequency because it will become a valuable key to your success. You are collecting valuable information that plenty other women would love to have access to. You should transform your fascination into a stream of income by creating an eBook and selling it online.

If you passed elementary school, you can do this. Don't be afraid. All you need to do is learn how to organize your information. Try reading this guide to writing a self help book. It will help you with the structure. Your book doesn't have to be a full length novel. It just has to have valuable information that others are seeking. Some of my eBooks are only 15 pages long and they still sell. Even if you don't believe they are seeking the information that you have, they are. Give it a try.

Step 1) Open up a word document.
Step 2) Sketch an outline for your book of the information you want to present.
Step 3) Write the information down.
Step 4) Ask a friend to edit it. Use spell check.
Step 5) Save the document as a PDF.
Step 6) Create a book cover.
Step 7) Go to Kindle and upload your book.

Once you have a book written, create as many more as you can. You can create a series of short stories or articles related to your topic of interest. Don't worry about who is buying them, just keep sharing the information that you have. People will buy them, eventually. It took 3 years to start seeing consistent income for my eBooks. I wrote them so long ago and now I don't have to do anything but count the money as it comes in. You can do this too.


TOUCH
Every woman needs to develop a skill where they use their hands.

1. Learn how to braid hair.
2. Learn how to crochet.
3. Learn how to cook.
4. Learn how to do massages.
5. Learn how to play a sport.
6. Learn how to fix something.
7. Learn how to grow something.
8. Learn how to create something.

You have to learn how to use your hands to prosper. Once you have developed a skill, go out and ask people to pay money for what you can create. You don't need to have a license or be an expert to get started. Just get started!

The expert status is created AFTER you start. Start small and then build up. Have the confidence to offer a class to teach what you know to other women or place an ad online offering your skill for a fee. You can do this! Your skill is valuable.

SMELL
Even if you aren't into girly things, you have to at least learn how to create something girly to sell. This doesn't have to be your full time job but its a cool way to make new friends or earn the extra bucks you need to fill your gas tank or treat yourself to a new pedicure. Plus, learning how to create a product that all women use makes you look and feel smarter.

I'd try learning how to make perfume. The process behind learning how to create your own perfume is intriguing and fun. You can even host a party to teach your friends how to do it themselves. After hearing about The Sweet Smell of Success from a friend who now makes her own perfumes, body lotions, deodorants and soaps, I decided to give it a try and when I tell people that I know how to make perfume, they all ask me to teach them how. At $10 a person, I can share my knowledge with a gaggle of women giggling over wine and cheese. You can too!

TASTE
You don't have to become a call girl to make money with your mouth. Your particular beliefs and values or your tastes and preferences can earn you cold hard cash if you believe that what you have to say is important.

Share your taste for fashion, politics or community activism with the world by offering online seminars where people can pay to hear you speak. Of course the income won't come in steadily at first but once you develop your signature style of speaking and presenting, your mouth alone will become your segue way to financial freedom.

Start by using UStream to develop an audience or you can host a blogtalk radio show to talk about your perspective of the world if you are camera shy. Keep talking and sharing your tastes and preferences and you will achieve expert status automatically.

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