The Difference Between Being Pretty & Beautiful

By Te-Erika Patterson


Are you pretty?

When you look in the mirror do you see an image staring back at you that reflects your ideal image of beauty? Take a moment to describe the ideal woman's physical features. What color skin tone does she have? How much does she weigh? What do her eyes look like? What does she wear when she goes out on the town? How is her hair styled?

Now take another moment to figure out the answer this question- Where did your idea of beauty come from?

If the woman you described as ideal does not look like the woman you see in the mirror chances are along your life journey you were bamboozled by society's impression of what a woman should look like. Don't be upset with yourself. In our quest to decipher our purpose and mission in life we often adopt the beliefs and expectations of those around us in order to gauge whether we are living life correctly.

Suppose you were taught at an early age that you were expected to finish high school, go to college, get married, have children and retire by age 55. Those seem like reasonable life expectations don't they? Well, how do you know that those expectations were the right path for YOU?

Now go back to the woman you described as your ideal image of beauty. Chances are you've met her before and it caused you great distress. Where did you meet her?



Was she the woman who stole your first boyfriend? Was she the little sister who came along and stole all of the attention away from you when you were a child? Was she the most popular girl in high school? Was she the woman all the boys drooled over as she crooned pop music on television? Was she the girl who won all the awards at school without ever trying?

The point I am making is simple. If the ideal woman you imagined does not look like you, somewhere along the line you compared yourself to another woman and felt that you fell short. Somewhere along your life journey, you decided that there was another woman in existence who had something special that you did not. Somewhere along your life path, you listened to opinions about what is right and wrong and you decided not to decide for yourself.

And that's okay. It's already done and now we have to unravel this mess.

So you think you're not pretty?

What does this really mean? The images of women that we see being celebrated as beautiful were carefully crafted for a purpose. The sole purpose of every image in every advertisement is to sell a product. In order to sell a multitude of products the marketing director knows that the product must be appealing to a multitude of women. For a multitude of women to find a particular product appealing the product must be outside of the norm, something that only a few women can actually attain easily.

You are allowing people who are driven by profit to validate your sense of beauty.

"But I'm still not pretty!" you say, as tears began to flow down your cheeks.

Guess what? You don't have to be.

You can be as ugly as Medusa and still achieve your life goals. You don't have to be pretty to be beautiful.

If you know that you are not pretty, which simply means that you don't fit the ideal image that a marketing director crafted in order to sell you products, I want you to know that you can still be beautiful if you want to be.

"How can I be beautiful?" you ask.

I'm glad you asked.

While pretty conforms to societal expectations and in no way guarantees an awesome, pain free life, beautiful speaks to the magic that every woman possesses. Yes, you have this magic too.



The Difference Between Being Pretty And Being Beautiful

Beautiful women wear sweat pants and rumpled t-shirts in public and are still pursued by men.
Pretty women have to wear make up at all times in order to feel attractive.

Beautiful women have this gleam in their eye because they are aware of their inner powers as women.
Pretty women have to carry eye drops to moisten their colored contacts.

Beautiful women have satisfying relationships with friends, romantic partners, their families and themselves.
Pretty women do anything they can to hold on to relationships, often sacrificing their own needs because they do not believe they are more than just their looks and desperately need approval.

Beautiful women do not care if they are wearing the right color for the season or if their handbag is out of style because they understand that these accessories only accentuate their inner magic.
Pretty women must have the latest in all fads and fashion trends because their value is linked to being approved by society's ever changing barometer of beauty.



How To Become Beautiful

1. Understand right now that you have the vagina. The vagina is the source of all things. The vagina has caused wars, weakened civilizations, provoked men to achieve great things and gives birth to the human race. Because you have a vagina, you have the power. The power is the option to be a vessel to bring forth life and to mold that life by the seeds you plant as wisdom, affecting generations to come. The power is the knowledge that through YOUR influence all things are possible.

2. Throw away all fashion magazines. Fashion trends are the devil. You must understand that what you are wearing has very little to do with who you are and the power that you hold inside. It's just cloth. It's just cloth. You will know you OWN your beauty when you can wear the same outfit for a week straight and not feel awkward about it. You can do this. You don't need anyone's approval on what you should wear and how you should wear it. If your clothes are clean you are fine. If you can not do this, you are still striving to be pretty.

3. Disregard your skin. Take a few minutes of private time to sit alone. Close your eyes and imagine that your body is melting away. It is vanishing before your eyes. What is left? Can you feel its essence? THIS is who you really are.

As you sit and get to know your real self, the you without your skin, harness your power by recognizing that you are nothing and you are everything. Can you see a beginning and an end to your existence in this state? There is none. You are all powerful outside of your skin.

When you are ready to acknowledge your skin again, do not forget this state of power that you just felt. Play with it. Respect it. Disregard the criticisms of it. Your body is merely transportation for the essence of who you are. Take care of it, appreciate it, but do not berate it for not being molded the way that some profit hungry MAN dictated it should look. Look past the shallow lies of society and into the vastness of the essence of who you really are. You are everything. You are nothing. You are all that is. You are the authority. You decide what is right and wrong. You decide what is ugly and what is pretty. You decide what is great and what is common. You decide if you are beautiful or not.

4. Walk in your power everyday. Flow in it. Play with it. Laugh in the face of every brainwashed Betty or Bob who dares to tell you that you are not beautiful. Understand that they are playing roles in a movie that they have no idea has been scripted and sadly, no one is even tuned in to watch. Feel sorry for them and then let it go. You dictate your life by your perception and your choices. You authoritatively decide if things are good or bad. You decide if you are happy or angry. You do not need to allow situations to dictate your mood. You have the authoritative power to decide how you want to feel about the world, your situation and even your body.

You own your body. You own your life experience. Walk in your power. Be grateful you have the vagina. Make men earn it. Set its bounty very high. Not everyone deserves to taste or touch. Be picky with your friendships, your time and your love. Time is limited. Everyone doesn't deserve an appointment.

You are the authority over how you view yourself. You don't need anyone's acceptance or approval. If anyone tries to make you feel less than perfect it is because that is how they feel about themselves. They want you to join them in their self hatred.

Decide you are beautiful and never try to force anyone to respect it. You earn respect by respecting yourself and making yourself a rare commodity.

You have the POWER. The magic is yours to harness to create everything or nothing. It's your decision.

Stand up. Walk tall. Deflect everyone's definitions or directions for your life. You are the authority. It is what you say it is.

5. Be good to yourself. Celebrate yourself in as many ways as you can think of. Celebrate your right leg on Friday. Celebrate your hair on Saturday. Praise yourself for being intelligent. Buy yourself a gift for making it through another work week. Honor yourself. You DO deserve it. You ARE awesome. You ARE special. You ARE magic.

Forgive yourself. Hug yourself. Give yourself a second chance. You don't have to be perfect to be beautiful, you just have to decide that you are beautiful and then act like it by treating yourself well.

You don't need anyone's permission to treat yourself well. If no one else as noticed you yet, then give yourself the treatment you know you deserve. Find a reason to fall in love with yourself everyday. Become your own greatest admirer. No one else in the world has to fall in love with you in order for you to feel that you are valuable. You ARE love. Feel it within. Touch it. Fondle it. Kiss it. Frolick in it. Every single day.

You're so awesome!

I now pronounce you... beautiful.

Posted in: Attitude