Why Are You Still Single?

Dear Readers,

I have asked myself this question countless times? At first I figured there was something wrong with me so I made it my personal quest to fix myself by delving into personal development and studying philosophy and psychology. While I enjoyed every minute of my studies, in the end I came up with an answer that shocked me; there is nothing wrong with me.

I am single because I choose to be. Sometimes I think I'd like to have a partner but I realize that this desire was born out of frustration from having to figure things out alone and to support myself alone. I didn't really want a romantic partner, or I could have had one. I was really looking for a sponsor and a business partner. Turning myself into a brand name and owning my own business was my main goal and I only fantasized about a companion who could help me attain those goals.

After writing my first self help book, It's Not A Sin To Be Single, and really looking at myself backwards and forwards, upside and down, I realized that I am not really unhappy with stumbling through the world alone. I think I was pressuring myself to meet that ideal life marker because I was faltering in every other area. I simply wanted to prove to myself that I could do SOMETHING right. I guess romantic love wasn't a good gauge.

I have been single for 9 years and I am weirdly proud of this accomplishment. To me this means that I have not settled for anything less than I deserve and I can't remember the last time I cried over a partner. I am not sitting up at night wondering if someone loves me for real and I am not waiting for a rescuer anymore.

I am FREE.

Free to love myself the way I always wished I had been loved by someone else. I still have desires and urges but I am very creative and I take care of them just like anyone else. I no longer pressure myself to find true love because it's not something that you can pressure yourself into.

I cringe at the thought of years I wasted badgering myself and condemning myself because I had not met the ONE. The ONE is in everyone, if I weren't so caught up in my ideal. I can be loved a thousand ways and I have been. My mistake was in putting love into a box and not accepting it in the countless ways it had been offered.

I caution you, dear reader, with your face scrunched up as you read my words. I caution you to relax and allow yourself to enjoy this time in your life. You never know what is around the corner and you'll have wasted years being angry instead of enjoying this season. No season of your life is permanent and no season is without a good cause.

You are single for a reason. Allow yourself the freedom to seek, learn and grow.

This week I am featuring women who are making the most out of their single life. Some of them yearn for love while others are adamantly against it, but in every way, they love who they are and they wouldn't change anything about themselves.

In all sincerity,

Te-Erika

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Countdown: 1 Day: Moving Out

"We're making a movie," I told my sons, just to ease the pressure. "You guys are actors, just pretend this is real and let your real emotions show."

They did a great job helping me to wrap things up. We got rid of everything except my bed. The guy who asked for it decided he didn't want it at the last minute which was a blessing for me since I have one last night to sleep on it.

How am I feeling? Kinda like a fool.

So far no one has agreed to partner with me as far as shelters go. Everyone looks at me like I am crazy and one guy asked, "Why do you care about homeless women? They aren't worried about you."

Although he's a young dude filled with I don't even know what kind of dreams, it made me pause and wonder why I am so concerned with helping others. I think it boils down to the fact that I have been so unsuccessful for so long that I would never wish anyone this kind of luck.

I have so much talent and so much personality but I think I get in the way of my own success because of who I am. Well, who I am has guided me to this moment. I don't know if anyone will be helped. I don't know if anyone will care. I don't know if anyone will donate. I don't know what's about to happen.

I don't know.

I don't know how things will turn out. I know how I'd LIKE for them to turn out but there are no guarantees.

I've been nursing a migraine for the past few days. I am taking advil around the clock to help I think it's coming from an infected tooth I have. I have not had any money to go to the dentist in so long. No health insurance either. I try my best not to get sick and usually I'm well.

I'm wrestling in my mind between, "You're doing great" and "You're really stupid. Look at your past. Don't you think is going to turn out the same way? You're dumb."

But maybe it isn't. Maybe something different will happen this time. I don't know.

If nothing else happens, I hope that a few women would write to me and tell me that they learned something by watching my living documentary and they were inspired and took action. do hope that people will donate and that My Savvy Sisters will be able to stand on its own and become THE leading source of empowerment for women. I hope that my job fair goes well and by the time it happens in May I will have raised enough money to award one woman a grant and somehow, some way, I won't be living on the streets then.

"I think you're gonna have fun once you get over the shock of it," my son Sai said.

I grinned at him,"I hope so baby."

Tomorrow morning I wake up, give my place one last sweep through and then, I give my keys to my landlord.

What happens next?

I have no idea.

Please. Please. Send me positive energy and your very best wishes. I feel hopeless right now but I've made my decision so I have to go.

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5 Websites To Waste Your Time On

Sometimes we don't feel like being inspired, educated or diving head first into our goals. Sometimes we just want to laugh, make fun of other people or stare in amazement at the characters living in this world. Here are 5 websites that will allow you to do just that.

Enjoy!

Awkward Family Photos

Random photos of the weirdest families and situations.

Cracked.Com

No description available.

Mediatakeout

Where do they get their "news" and why are we so fascinated by it?

OMG! Facts

The most random, weird facts about things you never cared about.

StumbleUpon

The world wide web is a treasure trove of intriguing sites and photos. Go treasure hunting!

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Confession: I Hate Lifetime Television

Sometimes My Savvy Sisters aren't perfect. Sometimes My Savvy Sisters break the rules. Sometimes, we need a confessional to release the guilt. This is just the place for it too.

Confession: I hate Lifetime television

I hate Lifetime television. It’s not really for women. The women are always getting their ass kicked. It’s really television for men.

For My Savvy Sisters: Do you have something you need to confess? Submit your confession to confessions@mysavvysisters.com and we'll post your confession anonymously. Don't worry, we don't judge and we will never tell.

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COUNTDOWN: 3 Days

I changed my phone number today.

I have been looking forward to doing that for a while now. Why? Well, I really want to say goodbye to that old chapter in my life.

I sent a text to my parents, my sister, two other friends and the team I work with on My Savvy Sisters with my new number. I went down my contacts list and began deleting numbers I knew I would never call again.

I was relieved. No more phone calls from random dudes. No more surprise texts from people I worked with in the past. It's not like I'm ashamed of my past or angry with it, it's just I'm done with that.

I'm done with being that smaller, insignificant, worrisome version of who I am right now.

I scheduled the charity to come out on Saturday to pick up my clothes and the televisions that I have. All that is left after that is my bed.

I'm still not scared per se, but I have wondered what I will say to the media when they ask me questions. I don't know what to say. I guess I can only speak the truth from my heart.

I started this project because my intuition gave me the idea and I ran with it. It has healed me of my anxiety. It has freed me from being that shell of a woman I used to be. It has made me say goodbye to old habits and debilitating thought processes.

I am not a victim anymore.

I hope to help women break free from fear. I hope to raise money to help transform a woman's life. I hope to continue to work on this website and turn it into a real website soon. I want my kids to be proud of me and to know that their Mommy didn't struggle in vain. I promised them that I would get them back. That was nearly 5 years ago. Sometimes I still don't believe it can come true. Nothing ever really sticks for me. But I keep trying.

And trying.

And walking in circles. And pushing. And hoping. All the while knowing that I am special yet feeling the sadness of being special because there's no one around who understands me. They pretend they do but they don't. I don't even think most people know why they like me so much. Maybe it's my vibe. My vibe is magic.

I believe in magic. I am not afraid to fail. I've done that and I've always come back.

My sons are coming tomorrow. I'm going to have to be very creative to feed us this weekend but I think I can do it. I hate that when they come over I have a budget to stick to. I believe they should have all of their hearts desires and it brings me joy to give them what I can. I can't spoil them but I try to make it nice for them when they are here. Usually when they leave, I have no money left for my week and I eat ramen noodles until I can figure out what to do next.

I have a lot of work to do. I still have to contact shelters and speak to their directors to partner with me. Sean Canonie, the owner of the Homeless Voice sent me an email last night saying he promises to give $100 to The Rebuild Your Life Project, "just because you have the guts to do this." That made me smile.

I finished my editorial for tomorrow and I am already starting on next week. I need to research places with free internet so that I can have somewhere to work. I usually stay up all night writing and sleep in the morning but I'm not sure I'll be able to do that with nowhere to live.

Whatever.

I'm not afraid of getting dirty.

So that's where I am today.

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Your World News Report - April 7, 2011

Berlyne Julmis
News Coordinator


7.1 Earthquake Shakes Japan

7.1 Earthquake struck the coast of Japan causing the US to issue Tsunami warning – Epic Center of the quake was in Miyagi. No casualties or major damages have been reported in Japan, but workers of a nuclear plants were forced to evacuate and until officials deemed it safe. Both the US and the Pacific Tsunami Center have since ruled out a possible tsunami threat.

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A Nation in Mourning, 11 Children Killed

24 year old crazed gunman Welington de Oliveira opens fire in a school in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil today killing 11 innocent children before turning the gun on himself. It was estimated that 13 children were wounded and fled into the street for safety--Oliveira is a former student and his motive is not clear. The country is in shock and mourning as this malicious act is rare to the nation. President Rousseff of Brazil requested a moment of silence for the innocent lives that were lost.

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Women's Ski Jumping Accepted Into Olympics After Long Fight

SALT LAKE CITY, April 7, 2011 /PRNewswire/ -- USANA Health Sciences, Inc., a nutritional supplements manufacturer based in Salt Lake City, is proud to be the Official Health Supplement Supplier of the U.S. Women's Ski Jumping team (WSJ-USA), the newest addition to the 2014 Sochi Olympic Winter Games. For the first time in Olympic history, women are allowed to participate in the discipline of ski jumping.

"USANA could not be happier to be part of this historic moment. These women are an inspiration, and we are thrilled to continue supporting this elite team of athletes," said Dan Macuga, USANA's Vice President of Marketing.

Women's ski jumping is becoming an increasingly popular sport to compete in worldwide. Lindsay Van, of Park City, Utah, is the sport's first female world champion, and for over 10 years Van and the team have fought to be included in the Games. "We know we're ready and we want to show the world in Sochi in 2014," Van said in 2010. The IOC rejected women's ski jumping for the 2010 Winter Olympics and that only fueled Van and the team to push harder.

"I'm glad I didn't give up," Van said Wednesday at the Utah Olympic Park, site of the ski jumping events at the 2002 Winter Games.

Christophe De Kepper, IOC sports director, said Wednesday during a press briefing in London, the main reason a women's event was approved for Sochi 2014 is the increase in quality and depth in women's ski jumping.

"The support that USANA gives us is huge. We would not be here if it wasn't for our sponsors who have seen the virtue of this and stuck with us. Presently the entire program is run by the funding we generate through our sponsors and private donors," Peter Jerome, founder of WSJ, said.

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EDITORIAL: Earning My High School Diploma at Age 34

By Erika Martin

Education Columnist

Becoming an advocate for higher education for women is something I have always been passionate about because it was something that was denied me when I was living in the spiritually abusive subculture that my parents raised me in. It was a dream that I buried down deep inside because I knew that if I brought it up, it would have been shot down by my parents. It's something that at 34 years of age I am now fighting for and pursuing.

I grew up in a religious subculture that viewed women as less than men. The idea of higher education for women was frowned upon and viewed as evil and feministic. Women were told that their place was in the home, having as many babies as God would give them and home-schooling them. Women were discouraged from getting a driver's license as it would only foster independence and that was also viewed as evil. Women were not allowed to work outside the home since their place was in the home. Pants, jewelry and make-up were also forbidden.

When it came time to finish my 12th grade home-education, a high school diploma was not in my parents' plan for me. I had the typical home-school graduation. It was done in a church and I was the only student in the Class of 1994. I was both at the top and bottom of my class. I was handed a homemade certificate that my parents signed but as far as any state or colleges were concerned, it meant nothing. My parents had stopped reporting to the state for our schooling so any work that I did my senior year was null and void. Disallowing me a high school diploma was just another way to make sure that I wouldn't pursue a higher education or make it harder to pursue one. Having a diploma simply meant that I could grasp independence easier and that was something that the patriarchal subculture discouraged for women.

Even more of a "catch 22" was that my sister and I were told that if we insisted on college, we would have to pay for it completely on our own but seeing that we weren't allowed outside jobs, that would be impossible. No driver's license, no high school diploma, no job- all of these things were enforced to make it impossible for any way out of the patriarchal lifestyle.

I eventually left home at 20 years old, got married at the same age and started having children a year and a half later. A higher education was something that was put on the back burner as I had babies to take care of and a catering business to run with my husband. Over the years, we put the catering business behind us and I now work full time from home as an artist. While I feel that I've done pretty well for myself without a college degree, there's still a passion that I have to learn more and a passion to reach out to other women that have come out of abusive situations.

I've decided that it's time for me to pursue that higher education that has been put on the back burner for so long. At 34 years old I am currently working on getting my high school diploma through the Adult Learning Program in my area. I have the option of earning a GED or a high school diploma and I chose the high school diploma because it was more of a challenge to achieve and it was something I had always wanted. I will be graduating in a cap and gown with the Class of 2011 at the school that my kids will graduate from when they are 18. From there, I plan to pursue a Masters in Psychology. I would like to practice creative therapy - using art and counseling to help people heal from abuse, just as I've found art to do the same for me in my own healing process.

Working towards getting my high school diploma has been intense and quite the challenge but I've embraced it, knowing that the work and effort I'm putting in right now will reap the reward and sense of accomplishment that I've been wanting for the past 16 years. I will be sharing my journey with you here at My Savvy Sisters in the hopes that others will reach out and embrace their passions and work towards them, knowing that they have the power within themselves to pursue and achieve their dreams.

About the columnist:

Erika Martin was withheld from attaining her high school diploma and a higher education due to living in a spiritually abusive upbringing. She is currently working towards attaining her high school diploma and plans to pursue a degree in Psychology after graduation this June. Erika will highlight relevant news and information that relates to education as well as chronicle her journey toward her diploma.

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Letting Go Of Bitterness

You are very angry right now, aren't you? Someone you love has disappointed you and you want them to feel the pain that you feel inside. You have already decided to punish them by not speaking to them, withholding affection and treating them like they are subhuman. This punishment hasn't relieved your pain has it? For some reason, you still don't feel better.

In order to let go of the bitterness you feel inside you must first consider these points:

1) Do you want to continue to be in a relationship with this person?
If not, then end the relationship immediately. You are not being fair to yourself or them if you keep them around just to punish them and make their life miserable. You are making your own life miserable in the process by having to turn into the wicked witch of the west every time they are around. You are giving away your power. You are allowing their action to control your mood.

If you do want to continue to be in a relationship with this person then you must forgive them. Most people say that you can forgive but you should never forget but I say, if you don't try to forget then you have not really forgiven.

2) Everyone will disappoint you at some point because no one is under your complete control. Everyone has to make their own decisions and on some occasions their decisions may not be in line with your best interest. You do it too. Just because someone disappoints you, doesn't mean that they don't care about you. Just because someone doesn't do things exactly the way you would do them, doesn't mean they are wrong. They are not YOU.

3) When you forgive someone, you release yourself from the pain of the event. When you do not forgive, you are locking yourself into a prison of the ugly memory and you are reliving it everyday. Why should you forgive? So that you can be free to smile again. That thing they did, it's in the past; do not invite it into your future.

4) If you want to let go of the bitterness you must replace the hurtful memories with new and more joyful ones. You must remind yourself why you loved them in the first place. MAKE yourself smile when you see the person. FORCE yourself to say hello cheerfully when the person walks into the room. REMIND yourself of the joyful times you had and revisit those memories instead. DO NICE THINGS for the person and relish in their enjoyment. Do these things until you can do them without having to remind yourself to do it.

Whether or not the person is sincere in their apology or even if they apologized at all doesn't matter. You are working on restoring YOUR joy and stepping outside of the bitterness. You always have the choice to walk away from a situation that consistently hurts you. But, if the pain you feel is caused by your choice to relive the painful memories and the person is no longer hurting you then it is up to you to change your mood.

You can, if you want to.

Release the bitterness and your entire life will improve. You are no longer a slave to their actions or the memory of the bad situation.

Release yourself.

No one can harm you now.

It's over. You are a new person. You don't have to get revenge. You don't have to punish them. You don't have to keep explaining to everyone over and over again how much you have been hurt. It's a memory that you are keeping alive every time you speak or write about it.

Release the bitterness.

You are now in control. You have your entire life ahead of you. You can and will experience happiness again.

You are FREE!

Live.

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My Intuitive Insight - Erin Pavlina

Erin Pavlina

Las Vegas, Nevada

Erin Pavlina is an intuitive counselor, speaker and author. She writes, posts videos and contributes to a community of men and women who are fascinated and inspired by intuitive work. Erin shares insight about the importance of cultivating intuition with the readers of My Savvy Sisters.

When I started out I used the term psychic medium to indicate that I was a psychic who could also connect with deceased energies on the other side. However, today I prefer the term intuitive counselor. As a counselor I use my intuitive abilities (clairvoyance and clairaudience) to connect with spirit guides who pass on information designed to help my clients make smooth transitions into the life they desire.

I write articles on topics including personal development, spiritual development, and psychic development. My articles touch upon career, relationships, finances, health, spirituality, astral
projection, lucid dreaming, and paranormal phenomenon. I attract people who are into personal growth but who also recognize the benefits of being balanced between the material and the spiritual. I enjoy writing for a wide audience. Often very spiritual people are surprised to find I write coherently about real-world problems, and very grounded agnostic folks like my views on spirituality. It’s great to connect the two.

Most people are receiving intuitive insights, but they are not aware that they are. Then, even when they are aware that they are receiving intuitive guidance, they don’t act on it because they don’t always trust the information, or it flies in the face of logic. So I like to tell people to actively listen to, trust, and act upon their intuition for 30 days to strengthen their intuitive muscles. Meditate, connect with your guides, ask them for insights and wisdom, and trust their counsel.

I think the biggest misconception people have about our profession is that only some people are intuitive. Everyone is intuitive, but some people don’t work on developing their intuition so it feels like they don’t have any. Just like building physical muscles, some people are weaker while others are stronger. But you get out of it what you put into it. Keep working your intuitive muscles and they will get stronger. Ignore them and they will atrophy.

Being intuitive does not guarantee you a perfect life free of pain or humiliation. Staying tuned in all the time or checking with intuition every moment is too tiring. I trust my guides to get important and urgent messages to me when they need to. My guides do not want to rob me of the gift of free will, so I’m totally free to make dumb decisions any time I want to. It adds spice to life.

However, being intuitive definitely has its advantages. Thanks to my intuition and spirit guides, I have had great success in my career helping others. They give me great ideas, support, encouragement, and can sometimes give me a shortcut to my goals. They have definitely also prevented me from getting hurt or injured. So while I wouldn’t say my life is perfect, I know it’s been made better by being strongly intuitive.

You May Be Intuitive If:

• You have ever had a gut feeling that you should do something even though logic was not present to give you any information about the situation.
• You can sense what other people are thinking or feeling.
• You have premonitions about future events you couldn’t know anything about.

A prediction for My Savvy Sisters.COM: Your passion will guide you to greatness. Keep helping others and allow money to flow to you so you can provide even more value to your readers.

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Reader Mail: Your Project Inspires Me

Hi there Te-Erika, girl wow hard to know what to say about what your doing, here's me about to close a store that isn't making money and I feel lost and disappointed, like I've failed and here you are giving away your things to go out into a world that isn't kind, and is cold even in the hottest summer times.

I admire you, your swim against the tide, not easy to do, you don't let your experiences kick you to the floor and leave you there, you still dig your nails in and hold onto the tiniest of things determined to pull yourself up, determined to be FREE, I will follow you, in heart and in thought and maybe in your doing what your doing, it will give me strength and the courage that I need to step out again, knowing that sometimes life demands you shift gears and you can and you will if you are determined to, no matter what it may seem like, "weeping does endure for a night Ms. Te-Erika, but joy cometh in the morning." and I'm sure that God will bring that light bright and clearly to your path so that every step you take in this new adventure, will be a testimony to someone else, and to me.

See you when you come out of that dark place that your about to enter in, see you smiling and happy and excited, YOU CAN AND WILL DO THIS because it's your calling, as crazy as it may be or seem, and hopefully I will be able to share my story with you too.

Email me if you simply need a You Can! Email me if you need me to remind you to create your own reality, Email me if you need me to remind you of the Secret, Email me to simply say you cried or laughed, or sang, or groaned, were hungry for food but full of the blessings of the Most HIGH... My sister, my savvy unique and beautiful sister I love you, and support you in this your new endeavor...... Think of me from time to time. It is not by chance that we met, it was ordained, maybe to give you this tiny word of encouragement, maybe to encourage myself.

You are richer than most, because you know that you have yourself. and that you are more than a conquerer, Love peace and happiness Te-Erika, Love Peace and Happiness, wherever you may be....... Keep warm in love, from my heart to yours. Girl you are FREE!!!!!!!!!! Many Blessings.

Angela........

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COUNTDOWN: 4 Days

It's winding down to the day I'll have to move out of here and onto the streets. I am feeling okay about it. I am so busy planning the job fair and writing that I don't have time for fear.

Today my sister and I went to Walmart and I passed out fliers to the women I came across. My sisters gave me a dirty look, "You are embarrassing me," she said.

I laughed, "If you had your own business you wouldn't promote it?"

"Yeah but this is weird."

When she dropped me off she didn't drive away so I hung over the passenger side door cooing at my nieve Ariana. My sister looked over at me, "Are you really gonna do this?"

I smiled, "Yes. I'm not scared. The only thing I'm afraid of is the people who have promised their support and are now not answering their phones. I hate when people say they are going to do something and they don't do it. Other than that, I'm fine."

"Where are you going to go? What are you going to do? What is going to happen to you?" she asked.

"Look. I really don't know. All I know is, if I do this I will be set free from the fear of it and who knows, other women may be too. I'm going to miss my stuff, but hanging on to that stuff is like trying to live in the past. I can't do that. I have to do this. I'll be ok."

As I made my way back up to my apartment, I sat on my bed and looked around at the mess. A TV station already called to interview me on Monday morning and a newspaper is sending a photographer to see me on Monday as well.

Yes, I do hope this gathers national attention but I really hope that women see this website and they don't forget to come back because it touches their hearts in a way that no other site has.

I know it's just a little old corner of the cyber world, but My Savvy Sisters is my passion all rolled into one. If I had a resource like this or access to a publisher who was devoted to helping me make my dreams come true I would have taken full advantage.

I'm eating ramen noodles tonight. But this time I bought a can of chicken to add to it so it fills me up a little more. Wanna hear something crazy?

I have had a very difficult time with anxiety. It started about 4 years ago and got worse and worse as the years went by. By the time I started My Savvy Sisters in February, it had started to calm down and now, as I move closer to doing this project I have not had ONE panic attack at all. I don't even remember the last time I felt that burning feeling in my chest and the paranoia that comes with it.

If I am finally facing my biggest fear of losing everything then why don't I feel fearful?

Maybe it's because I am choosing to face my fear and it's for a good cause. I still don't know what will happen to me or if anyone will support this project. I have no clue if any women will be uplifted by my message or if anyone will donate to allow us to give to a homeless woman. I don't know.

Tonight I spoke with my sons over the phone and he asked, "Mama, when this project is over will you be able to buy a house?"

"I don't know, baby. I don't know what is going to happen."

All I know is, I know this is the right thing to do and I am not afraid.

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