REBUILD: Running On 'E'

I'm tired.

I started my job at Denny's today. I worked there a few years ago and it was an awesome experience except for my interaction with ONE manager who used to accuse me of stealing and start fights with me. I hated that.

Anyway, I'm still good with the general manager so he's allowing me to send women to be interviewed and I am grateful. Working at THIS Denny's reminds me of the old days. I couldn't sop thinking about my previous Denny's experience and how much I loved working there. I remember my Mama used to say, "YOU are working a JOB and not complaining?"

I would laugh and say, "I love serving, Mama!"

I really, really do.

I wish that what makes me happiest, serving, allowed me to take care of myself and live in luxury but it doesn't. Honestly, if I'm going to be doing anything besides being a journalist and writing books and speaking at seminars, I'd be serving.

I love taking care of people.

But I'm tired. I am still working with women trying to get them jobs. I'm still a little disappointed in some of them because when I call them and tell them about work and then set up the interviews they don't go or make the call when I tell them to. I'm getting frustrated about it.

The rough part about starting a job is the fact that I don't have any money. I need money to buy my uniforms and stuff and I'm making due with help from the women in the shelter. Last night after telling a woman that I'm starting a new job, she gave me a black shirt and black socks. I also need money to travel back and forth from work so I'm hoping for a miracle until my training is over. Doing all of this without a car is annoying too. Its summertime in South Florida and it is FIRE hot! I'm sweating out my uniform on the bus stops. Thank goodness I am baldheaded and my hair isn't affected by the weather.

I can't wait to finish training and start taking tables. It's going to be great to have money in my pockets again. I'm having a hard time making new videos because it is so crowded in the shelter and I can't think to be creative or record audio.

I'm also getting lots of emails from women who are finding my older videos and want advice. One lady wrote in about being in an abusive relationship. I think I'm going to send her my number so that we can talk.

I'm tired, ya'll.

So tired. But I'm still trying to help. Trying to help myself and others too.

I'm tired.

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Organizations That Help With Bills, Money & Food

Compiled by B.J. Schmidt

1. http://www.helpforlowincome.com/

2. http://http://www.prosper.com/

3. http://www.cyberbeg.com/

4. http://www.my-donation.com/

5. http://www.modestneeds.org/

6. www.communityactionpartnership.com/about/links/map.asp

7. http://www.benefitscheckup.org/

8. http://www.freecycle.org/

9. http://www.2hands.org/

10. http://gtionline.fdncenter.org/

11. http://www.grantedwish.org/

12. http://www.angelfoodministries.com/

13. http://www.treeofwishes.com/

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Notes From The Universe

I signed up for Mike Dooley's FREE Notes From the Universe a long time ago. Today, I must say, his notes are my daily source for inspiration. Honestly, if I were stranded on a desert island and I had to choose ONE thing to keep with me to give me hope and direction, it would be a subscription to his notes.

I am not making this up or trying to convince you to inspire yourself. I'm merely offering the tools I use to keep myself motivated and hopeful about life.

To spread the joy, I'll share with you a sample of some of The Notes From The Universe that I receive in my email inbox every morning.

Tell me, if you were to walk out of your home tomorrow morning, gaze upward into the heavens and see me there, in all my splendor, pacing, pining, and worrying; hoping, wishing, and yearning; and questioning whether or not my boldest dreams would ever come true, would you or would you not, wonder if I had gone stark raving mad?

Well then...?
The Universe

We often have to shhhh'em-up, here in the unseen. It's because they become so excited when they see a really HUGE dream about to manifest in the seen, they completely forget that from where you are, nothing, yet, appears any different.

SHU-U-USH IT!
The Universe

The path to enlightenment is not a path at all, it's actually a metaphor for the time it takes for you to allow yourself to be happy with who you already are, where you're already at, and what you already have - no matter what.

Just do it,
The Universe

You can also get your FREE Notes From The Universe mailed to your inbox everyday. BE INSPIRED.

For My Savvy Sisters: What other sources of inspiration do you use on a daily basis to keep your spirits high?

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EDITORIAL: My Case for Vegetarianism

By Christina Fermin

Politics & Society Columnist

I have been a vegetarian for almost 4 years, and I must say I do not regret it at all. There are many reasons why I become a vegetarian, but it mostly has to do with health purposes. Like many of you I never dreamed of becoming a vegetarian, it just kind of happened. I was an avid carnivore and loved my pork, steaks and hamburgers, and very much disliked anything that was considered "rabbit food". Growing up in a Latin househould I ate meat 4-5 days a week and loved every minute of it. When I went to my family and told them I was a vegetarian it was quite shocking.

It all started a few years ago when there was a lot of talk about hormones in chickens, pigs and cows, from there I began doing my own research. I saw the disgusting practices used by corporations who slaughtered 10 billion animals a year to feed the carnivores of this country. That numbered staggered me and when I learned about the process of how the meat, poultry and fish was bagged and shipped it horrified me. I must say I am an animal lover and I could never imagine doing such a practice to a loved pet.

Aside from the killing practices of these slaughter houses, I delved deeper into our meat eating culture. It surprised me to learn that our ancestors did not eat meat as much as we thought they did, especially in the hunter-gatherer days, our ancestors spent more time eating fruits, vegetables, and nuts, the likelihood of capturing an animal to eat was minimal. Many health problems today can be attributed to poor diet and too much red meat, such as cancer, heart disease, diabetes, colon cancer, impotence, kidney disease, osteoporosis, hypertension, obesity and the list goes on.

If you are as dedicated to go green and reducing your carbon footprint as I am, you do not necessarily have to become a vegetarian. You can try meatless Mondays, a concept that encourages you to prepare a meal a week that does not include meat. It is amazing how reducing your meat intake to 1 day a week will drastically reduce your carbon footprint.

Here in the U.S. we use a very unsustainable method of animal farming, so much so that there is a huge problem in properly disposing of animal waste which eventually finds its way into our streams, rivers and drinking water. This causes all sorts of havoc on the environment which affects our daily lives. In South America, the Amazon rainforest is being cut down by hundreds of acres a minute to produce land for cows so that the U.S. can serve burgers in our fast food chains.

Because of our over consumption of meat, we now face the horrors from deforestation, the effects of the hormones that go into these animals to grow faster, agrochemicals to make feed for them, waste created by 10 billion animals yearly, fuel used to transport the animals, and imagine the energy that you consume from such an outdated inhumane practice. If you are going to eat meat go with Organically grown offerings and shop local farmers markets to reduce that carbon footprint. Protect yourself and your family and go vegetarian a few days a week. You will not only feel better, you will look better, younger and you will be doing your body a favor.

Since I have become a vegetarian I have noticed that I look better, feel better, have more energy, and I have changed for the better. Yes there are times where I see a nice juicy steak and wish that I could have a bite, but then I am reminded of why I did this. I cannot imagine being a part of an industry that slaughters 10 billion animals a year, and I would be devasted if I were to get a disease like diabetes. I now have a love affair with vegetables and eat things that I never thought I would eat, since becoming a vegetarian I have influenced others to do so or influenced others to be more aware of what they eat. It comes down to being aware of your actions and understanding how they impact the world around you. What better way of making the world a better place than to have the power of deciding what goes into your body.

Peace & Harmony,

Christina

About the Columnist

With a bachelors degree in political science from Florida Atlantic University, Christina Fermin has always cultivated her love for history, politics, sociology, ancient knowledge and teachings, the outdoors, the ocean and the environment. Christina strives to make our world better by helping us all create a new reality and understanding of all taking place here and now.

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Free and Discounted Drug Prescriptions

Once I was sick and had to go to the emergency room. I was given a prescription for antibiotics and when I went to fill it the prescription was more than $100. I couldn't afford it so I had to continue to deal with the sickness and eventually had to return to the emergency room. When I was there I argued with the doctor who then gave me another prescription. When I went to get it filled it was only $33!

I was livid. The doctors know that there are generic versions available but most won't tell you for some reason.

My Mom visited the doctor yesterday and he was such an awesome individual that he told her about all of the free and discounted drug prescription programs available. I summarized his list for you. Before you fill your prescription please call the pharmacist and always ask about the latest information on free and discounted drug prescription programs as the list changes from month to month.

A big, hearty THANK YOU to Bernard S. Chapnik, MD for this valuable information.


Publix Free Antibiotics

Amoxicillin

Ampicillin

Cephalexin (capsules and suspension only)

Sulfamethoxazole/Trimethoprim (SMZ-TMP)

Ciprofloxacin (excluding Ciprofloxacin XR)

Penicillin VK

Doxycycline Hyclate (capsules only)

Schnucks Free Antibiotics

Amoxicillin (Generic for AMOXIL)

Ampicilin

Ciprofloxacin (Generic for CIPRO)

Doxycycline

Penicillin

Trimeth/Sulfa (Generic for SEPTRA or BACTRIM)

Meijer Free Antibiotics

Amoxicillin

Cephalexin

SMZ-TMP

Ciprofloxacin

Ampicillin

Penicillin VK

Erythromycin

Many chain pharmacists also offer $4 & $5 Prescription programs.

Discounted Prescription Programs

Walmart $4 Prescriptions

Target $4 Prescriptions

Kmart $5 Prescriptions

Kroger $4 - $10 Prescriptions

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Dr. Bella DePaulo: Most Single People Are Happy

My Savvy Sisters caught up with Dr. Bella DePaulo, the author of Singled Out. Dr. Bella is the most widely respected expert on the single life and offers a perspective that is not often publicized.

Dr. Bella DePaulo

Singled Out, along with my other writings on singlehood, such as Single with Attitude, and my “Living Single” blog at Psychology Today, is a myth-busting, consciousness-raising, totally unapologetic take on single life. It draws from my discussions with many single people, but more importantly, it draws from research. My work shows that most single people are doing just fine – they are happy and healthy, they have people who are important to them, and they lead full and meaningful lives.

I have heard from many single people since Singled Out was published. They tell me that after reading the book, they feel validated and encouraged.

The belief that single women are mostly dissatisfied with their lives is a myth. I’m a social scientist and I have looked closely at the many studies of marital status and happiness. On the average, single women are happy with their lives. There is not even one study that shows that single women are typically unhappy.

There is a pervasive cultural mythology that insists that women can only be truly happy if they get married. That mythology needs to be challenged much more often and more vigorously – that’s one of the things I try to do in my writing and public speaking. Because that mythology is rarely questioned, lots of single people expect to be unhappy, and they are reluctant to say that they are actually happy, because that would be so inconsistent with what is expected.

I learned to be wary of singles-bashing headlines and about the assumptions people make about singles in their everyday lives. Before I did the research for my book, I just assumed that the conventional wisdom was correct, and that getting married really did make people happier and healthier. I liked my single life, but I figured that I must be the exception. It was stunning to me to read one study after another showing that those stereotypes about single people are exaggerated or just plain false.

[Dissatisfied singles] should tune into the communities of single people who love their single lives. Online, for example, readers of my Living Single blog at Psychology Today often engage with each other about their lives in response to my posts. Those who want romantic love may still want it, but they may become more aware of the positive aspects of single life. Others may find that some of their yearning for romantic love comes from a desire to follow the cultural script that they have been urged to follow their entire lives.

They think they should want romantic love more than anything else, but maybe they’ve just assumed that and never really wondered what they, as unique individuals, really do want from their lives.

For My Savvy Sisters: Do you agree with Dr. DePaulo's stance that the idea of the majority of singles being dissatisfied is a myth? Do you find that your single friends are generally happy or unhappy?

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Sisters In The Struggle: I'm About To Lose My Business

My Savvy Sisters in the Struggle: Are you in a situation that you feel you can not handle alone? Do you need My Savvy Sisters to offer guidance, a helping hand or an encouraging word? Write in to editorial@MySavvySisters.Com to submit your plea for help. All letters will be read. Selected letters will be posted. We wish you the best of luck and we hope we can be the connection you need.

Dear Sisters In The Struggle,

My name is Sara Beth Williams. I own a carriage company in Nashville TN. I’ve been in business since 2003. I’ve only been granted one permit when all carriage owners have two permits or more and they are all men. It’s been eight years and I’ve seen 3 companies go out of business and there were 10 permits voided and not even one of those permits were even granted to me for equal opportunity. The governor has minority non discrimination statements all over their website of tn.gov. I have three horses and just recently found a place to live and boarding for my horses due to the flood last year.

This year I hired a man that fronted me the money for my liability insurance in return for using his carriage in town so that I could afford to put the new light requirements on per our metro government. I paid this man 60 percent to operate my business so that I could make extra money to buy a new carriage. This man stole from me every night. I caught him not writing all the rides down and have proof that he wrote 12 rides.

When I caught this man stealing he all of a sudden comes up with $890.00 which is equivalent to 28 rides. My supposed friend won’t testify in court as a witness because she is all into herself and doesn’t want to get involved. I told the man that I caught him stealing on several occasions and that he very well paid himself back for the use of his carriage. He then turned around and called my insurance company and demanded the check he wrote refunded and caused my insurance to lapse. The insurance company that handled my policy canceled my insurance due to non-payment without my knowledge. The insurance company said they didn’t want to get sued for the check from the man’s so called attorneys phone call to the insurance company. There was no name of the so called attorney that made that call. I was downtown operating my carriage on June 2nd in the evening and didn’t work Friday because of fireworks and was notified by the taxi board that I was in operation without insurance. I had no knowledge of this.

On Friday June 3rd, I received a phone call from the director of the taxi board to suspend my operation due to cancelation of insurance. The taxi board called me at 4:20pm that afternoon when they closed at 4:25pm in the afternoon. There was nothing I could do to fix the problem. I had no money because thank God I paid all my bills ahead of time. Well now I don’t have the down payment for insurance. I started to panic. I rode out the weekend trying to get help when all of the sudden my radiator blew up on my truck and had to borrow the money from my parents. They are on fixed income. Now I missed out on a whole week of income from the CMA festival where I could’ve made $3000.00 to cover my bills. Now I have $17.00 to my name so I contacted an attorney with no money (she said I have a case). On Monday June 6th My dad calls me and says I received a certified letter from taxi board for a disciplinary hearing before the commission because I was operating my carriage without insurance and they are calling it negligent.

The taxi board is calling it negligence for having passengers in my carriage and operating without insurance. The director also said that I could very well lose my license before the board. I asked the director of the taxi board how he knew I was operating that day and he said they took pictures for proof. I then thought about my permit situation and immediately started thinking they knew about my insurance before I did and contacted me a day later of my cancelation of insurance. Why would they try and get proof before contacting me? Why would they send a letter of discipline on Monday and not even mention it on the Friday before?

Now you know why I’m stressing this whole thing. I’ve worked so hard and struggled over these eight years of business and finally was able to get on my feet from the flood last year. I have prayed like you would not believe. I know God gave me these horses to do this business. I can’t get a loan from the bank because of the devastation from the flood last year.

Now I feel like I have no one to turn to for help. I have no money due to this being my only source of income. I have to pay my parents back for the radiator and pay my truck note by Wednesday. I can still operate until the hearing. I have an attorney with no way to pay. The attorney knows this and I don’t even have the fuel to even get there. I love my horses and have never been in trouble with the board before. I feel like I’m being bullied by the taxi board director and the other carriage companies. I have people calling me all the time saying my permit has been pulled when I had not been informed of that yet.

How do these carriage companies that are all men know this? I need help in a very big way. I even tried e-mailing Ellen Degeneres with no response on facebook. I feel like such a little person in a big world with no one even acknowledging my cry for help. I will take a deep breath and relax like you said and pray for a miracle. I keep hoping my phone will ring but it doesn’t. I do pray, believe, and know that this is God’s plan for me because of my love for horses. God would not have given me two identical horses to pull together at 2yrs old in a big city like this without his divine help. Thank you for listening to my situation and hope to hear from you. Thank you so much for taking my call this evening. I thank God that I found your site and phone number.

For My Savvy Sisters: Do you have any advice or assistance for Sara? Please comment and offer any help you may have. Thank you.

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REBUILD: He Said God Would Make Me Great

Every single day I spend time thinking about what I need to improve myself.

I need to balance that with a self appreciation exercise but it's so much easier to think about those things we dislike about ourselves then those things we love. That is a failure method.

I want to help women but my "real" personality is getting in the way. It's gotten in the way my whole life. I am a hood chick, which means that I am from the poor part of town, which means I speak ebonics and I have a ghetto twang to my speaking patterns that I can not erase. I'm also very intelligent which makes for an interesting conversation if you ever get the chance. I went from being a recluse to being surrounded by over a hundred people at all times and the adjustment has been rough on me.

I just prayed that it would go away or that I would be able to change but I am so rough around the edges, meaning I am my REAL SELF all the time and most people aren't. There's a difference between how you behave around your friends and the way you behave at work. For ME, there's no difference. I am my REAL self ALL THE TIME. Being this way has never benefited me.

Being at this shelter is also affecting my personality. Because the people here are habitually homeless I have had to change the way I interact and speak. I had to reduce my level of vocabulary and I find myself asking, "Are you high?" when I'm talking to people and sometimes the answer is YES.

A man came up to me last night after the AA meeting and apologized because the last interaction he had where he was kind of rude to me, he said he was drunk at the time.

People here criticize each other instead of thinking of ways to improve their lives. One day a woman who had only been here for one week was complaining about how hard it is to vend the newspaper on the street and I agreed. Then she complained even more and a light bulb went off in my head.

"I can think of a way for you to get out of here and try to get your own place but it would involve taking a risk," I told her with a gleam in my eye.

"No," she said and shook her head. "I'm not ready for that. I just want the workload to be lighter. Maybe vend for 3 days and do housekeeping for 3."

"So, you mean you're complaining but you just want to be more comfortable HERE instead of get out of here?"

"Yes," she said.

I don't know what to do. I feel like I am the one holding me back from achieving success. I've blamed myself for so long and I study and study all the great leaders and all the successful people I can find but none of their biographies ever mention what to do if YOU are the problem.

Everyday I'm wishing more strongly to find a place in this world where I can fit in. Knowing you have never belonged ANYWHERE can make you go crazy.

Anyway, Today was an okay day on the road. The police came by and told me that I could not walk in the street to ask for donations so I made way less money than I am used to. I'll try again tomorrow and maybe If I'm lucky, tomorrow will be the day that I figure out how to BE so that I can really be a help.

Oh yeah, I received a call from a woman in crisis today. I have no idea how she found my cell phone number online. She lives in Nashville and is on the verge of losing her business and home. I managed to speak a few words of encouragement about being on the verge of a life transition but I could tell what she really needed was MONEY.

I have none to give. I want to give, desperately. I want to give and be a help but I have nothing right now. I can't help in this position.

I also met a woman today in the shelter. She ran away from her hometown after finally leaving her abusive boyfriend. He found her and threatened to kill her so someone bought her a bus ticket and she ended up here.

She heard me speaking on the phone to the woman from Nashville and she shared her story with me, thanking me for offering such important, soothing words to the stranger on the phone. She said my words made HER feel better.

I fell asleep but then I woke up shortly before one for some reason. I was feeling sad because I couldn't figure out how to change who I am to make this project better. I started writing this post and my phone rang.

It was the young man who used to own my cell phone number. Since the first day I changed my number I have been receiving phone calls and texts for him almost every day. I joked with him that I felt like I was his secretary.

We talked and talked and he shared that he was a rapper from South Miami and I told him that I am a journalist in Hollywood. Then we shared our facebook pages so we could SEE who we were talking to and he looked at my pictures. Then I shared about my project and he was amazed.

Before we hung up he was crying and telling me that the spirit of God was touching him and speaking through him. He said that he couldn't stop crying because God was telling him that everything would be taken care of for me and that I should praise him in advance. He said that I was special and favored and that God was going to take me even higher than I could ever imagine. He said God would make me great. He couldn't stop crying while he was on the phone with me. He said, "I am so privileged to speak to you. I am so honored."

I'm sitting here looking at the fence on the patio and shaking my head. I can HEAR him but I don't FEEL him. All I see right now is the fact that I have nothing but the burning desire to help women. I can't help because I have nothing. God's gonna elevate me?

Well, I wish that would happen soon because I want to make sure this abused woman is safe and I want to help that woman who is about to lose her business. Right now, all I can do is listen and tell them everything is going to be alright.

But are my words enough?

That's all I have for now.

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Life Is A Transition

You may be in the midst of a major life overhaul. Things seem to be crashing down all around you. You might feel like you're being punished for something you did in the past but allow me to shift your perspective.

Life is a transition.

Everyday your body's cells regenerate themselves. Everyday the sun rises and falls again. Everyday the circumstances shift around you. Don't be alarmed. Things are supposed to change. If you have ever wanted more for your life things MUST change in order for you to have MORE.

Consider life to be like a bicycle wheel. You are at the center of that wheel. Life's circumstances are the spokes in the wheel. The people you encounter are the spokes in that wheel. The dreams you have for your life are also the spokes in that wheel. When your life is in motion, which it always is, you, at the center are poised.

When circumstances shift, it is because they must. If you try to hold those spokes in place, you will stop the cycle of life or at least hurt your hand. Detach yourself from the spokes in the wheel. Allow each circumstance to come and go. Enjoy each person who spins into your life and allow them to leave if they must.

Be poised, understanding that your life is on a continuum that is blessed and magical. You wouldn't want to taste your first piece of candy and then not try anymore. There are lots of candy to try. There are so many experiences to have. Life is full of stories that begin and end.

When your circumstances shift, you are simply moving on toward your next story.

Open your eyes and make it a great one.

For My Savvy Sisters: When was your last life transition? Did you handle it gracefully or did you embrace it with your eyes closed?

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REBUILD: No Place Like Home

I have no religious beliefs. Education took that away. It showed me that there are so many different belief systems that I could never decide that one is the absolute truth and therefore I believe all truths are valid to the person who believes in it.

I pray, but not in the traditional way. I don't pray for help. I pray that I can hear the still voice more clearly. Most of the time I make wishes and then look for evidence that they are coming true.

Like the other day, after I completely emptied out my bank account to pay for what I needed for the job fair, I needed money to buy my uniform for my new job and I decided that I could make enough in one day of standing in the hot sun asking for donations with the Homeless Voice. I went out there full of expectation and, I left at the end of the day with $7.

I couldn't believe it. It was so awful I had to laugh. The people in the cars were smiling and waving but they wouldn't roll down their windows and give anything. It was so horrible that I laughed and laughed. I understood that the universe wanted to show me another way, a way that is different from my own. So I trusted and said, "I'll have what I need."

That same evening, a random man at the shelter came up to me and asked, "Do you believe in God?"

I paused and then said, "Yes."

"Here," he said and handed me $10. I looked at him and thanked him and walked into the elevator.

$10 will get me a pack of black socks. Now all I need are a pair of black pants and a pair of non slip shoes. $40 is what I need. I know I'll get it.

That evening I saw another man and I asked if he had some pants for me. 15 minutes later, he had TWO pairs of pants for me. I was elated.

Then today I went into Denny's to do my paperwork and I still had no idea how I would get the money for the shoes and the belt.

The manager hands me a paper and says, "Order some shoes from shoes for crews and they'll be here by the time you start next week."

BINGO!

Now, all I need is a belt.

I'm not certain how this will all work out but I know that it will, it always does. My heart (goal) is to help a woman by paying one month of her rent and I want to do so by asking for donations and contributing from the money I make as a waitress.

But how can I do that AND pay my own bills? I am not certain.

Why do I always feel compelled to help? I really need to help myself. I can't stay in the shelter forever. I want to move on from this but everytime I make a stride, I hear another nudging telling me to give more. I don't have anything to give. I don't understand this.

I long to leave here. I know it won't be the most awesome trip if I had to travel across country by myself on faith yet I am daydreaming about finding a place where the people are intelligent and they love poetry and they talk mostly about IDEAS and taking action to improve their lives instead of criticizing other people and their life choices. I long to find a place where no one is trying to overcome past criminal history and drug addiction. I want to meet people who study metaphysics and eastern philosophy. I want to be taken to a yoga class even though I probably couldn't stand to do all those exercises, but I really would like an invitation anyway.

I want to be exposed to new foods and new music and sit around with women with natural hair and sing praises to God for our lives. I want to be reminded of the things that are going WELL in the world instead of hearing complaints all the time.

~sigh~

I am always ready to go. No place has ever felt like home and that's why it's so easy for me to leave.

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REBUILD: Do I Really NEED Success?

I am in a state of confusion right now. I don't know what to do.

Today I went in to my first job since this project began and I filled out all of the paperwork to start working next week.

Honestly, this job came as a result of my job fair. If no one else got a job, I did! This Denny's was the FIRST business that I got to sign on to participate and I appreciate them hiring me. Being in a restaurant again brought back so many memories. Good memories of both Denny's and Red Lobster and then bad memories of management experience.

While I sat there I had these thoughts come into my mind-

Maybe you don't need to do anything more than this? Who are you trying to prove something to anyway?

Your project was basically a flop. You're going to finish it and show women how to rebuild but then you're going to be back where you started. But why isn't that enough?

I used to think that just because I had the CAPACITY for greatness that I should achieve it. Why waste talent? But now, I kind of feel like maybe I don't NEED to be great in anyone's eyes but my own and my sons.

I set out to show women that their biggest fear shouldn't have to be a fear at all and I got caught up trying to help other women rebuild their lives. Now I'm bound in my heart by not keeping my word and getting 30 businesses. That is making me feel like a complete failure although, really, when I look at my objectives for this project I have accomplished every one of them except for raising money to support this resource and a homeless shelter in my community, oh and I got 16 businesses instead of 30.

If I accomplished MOST of my objectives, the objectives that I had control over, then why do I still feel like I failed? What were my expectations? I guess maybe I wanted more women to be helped by this project and I'm not satisfied with that. But really, I AM helping.




Everyday I get phone calls from women who say they need work. I ask them a few questions and then I give them information on how to apply, instructing them to call me back once the application is completed. When they call me back, I call the manager of the business that I told them to apply to and I ask for an interview for them. I also give pep talks, buy bus passes and even cigarettes if the woman is really in need.

So far, none of the women have even gone in for the interview.

Success is a process. I'm planting seeds I guess.

Excuse me for rambling but I have so much on my heart. I have women that I'm working with trying to get them jobs and I am starting a new job that somewhere deep inside, I'm considering making a career.

I'm always happy when I'm a waitress. Why can't I just, stop striving for MORE and be happy with that? It won't bring me honor and glory from the outside world but it makes ME happy. It won't be a career that my kids can brag to their friends about but I'll be content knowing I'm serving others. People who know me from my past will continue to give me disappointed looks because they expected so much more out of me based on my intellect and my potential but do I owe them to meet THEIR expectations?

Do I NEED honor and glory? Do I HAVE to realize my full potential? Do I even want that anymore?

I have a heart to help yet I need help myself. Should I focus on helping ME to sustain myself? What is sustaining myself anyway?

My passion is in serving others. I can do that as a waitress and continue to help women find jobs. On the other hand I thought I wanted more. I thought I wanted to write more books and be an inspiration and travel and have adventures and be a teacher of success.

Maybe I'm just worn out.

I COULD accomplish great things but I'm not sure if I WANT to anymore.

I can be regular. I can be a waitress for my career and love on my sons and be happy helping women where I can.

I'm a failure.

Why can't I be okay with that?

Who said we all have to strive for GREATNESS?

Why can't greatness be what we decide it is?

Do I need a million fans to feel like my life is worth something?

Do I need an award to feel like I am valuable?

I tried my best to help women to become employed and I am still trying yet, I feel like something MORE is supposed to happen.

But do I really NEED that?

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Your World News Report - June 9, 2011

Berlyne Julmis

New Coordinator

Humala Peru’s Future President

Ollanta Humala has been declared the winner of Peru’s Presidential Election. Ex-presidential candidate Keiko Fujimori has receded and congratulated Peru’s future president Humala on his win. This has been closest presidential race Peru’s history--Humala was declared the winner with less than 3 percent triumphant margin. After the announcement of Humala’s win, Peru’s stock market plunged 10% and trading had to be suspended for two hours.

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House Representative Weiner Admits to Shameful Indiscretion

U.S. Representative Weiner has confessed he fabricated about an inappropriate picture and relationships he had with women he befriended online. Last week an inappropriate picture was posted on Representative Weiner twitter account-- Rep. Weiner initially claimed his account was hacked into and the picture was not of him. Rep. Weiner held a press conference admitting his indiscretion, but ultimately announced that he was not stepping down and giving up his seat in the House. Representative Weiner also stated that he was not separating from his wife, but he was sorry for the pain caused his wife, family, supporters, friends, and his staff.

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One Women One Dress Starts Underage Sex Trafficking Movement

Amy Seiffert vowed to wear one dress after she discovered that her hometown of Toledo, Ohio was 4th in the U.S. dealing with underage sex trafficking for six months to raise awareness. Seiffert planned to the money she would have spent on clothes and donate it to The Daughter Project. The Daughter Project is a foundation that aids and shelter girls who have been liberated from sex trafficking environments. Others joined in her mission after Seiffert spoke and blogged about the issue.

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French Media Mouth Shut

The French Media has been banned from naming any social networking sites on the air. Radio and television stations are allowed to discuss the sites without actually naming them. Conseil Superieur de l’Audiovisuel was quoted in saying, "Referring viewers or listeners to the page of the social network without mentioning it has the character of information. "Whereas the referral by naming the social network in question has the character of advertising, contrary to the provisions of Article 9 of the decree of 27 March 1992 forbidding covert advertising." French government is trying to reduce the amount of free advertising which larger social networking sites receive from the French Media. Many French citizens found the ruling on unfair and unjust.

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