Wednesday, March 23, 2011

REBUILD: Moving Forward

After I came up with the idea by listening to my inner- ME, my intuition and recognizing that it was proper guidance I then had to be certain that I would follow through with it. Not all nudges you receive from your internal system are going to be exciting for you to follow. It's the peace that comes with it and the way the idea won't go away that help you to recognize it's something you must go ahead and do.

Once I accepted that becoming homeless is something that I could do, immediately a series of flashbacks from conversations and other things I had written came flashing through my mind. These things were the confirmation that this was a good idea. I sat down and went through them which built my faith in this project.

Then I told my family about it and sifted through their fearful reactions, negating the worst case scenarios and dismissing the fear that their worries caused me. "What if you don't recover from this?" "What if someone hurts you?" "What if everything goes wrong?"

Those fears proved to me that I HAD to do this. Usually when you're trying to achieve things that no one around you has achieved your mentality about life will be so different that you feel like an alien on this planet.

You are NOT an alien. You are just not in the company of other brilliant people-yet. When everyone around you seems to disagree with your bold moves then that is a sign that you are on the right track. People can only directly lead you to the success they have achieved in life. They will pull you toward where they are. It is important to decide if you want to go there. If you don't- don't listen to them.

Once I heard the direction, faced the fearful warnings from my family and then took action by telling my landlord that I would be moving I had no choice but to move forward with the project. Because I was already so busy with running this website, writing and promoting our efforts, a NEW task added to my already active workload only increased my stamina. I decided to take the money I was going to spend on next month's rent and spend it on this website. I purchased business cards, fliers and set money aside for a press release which costs $399.

Then I took the time to make a video about what I planned to do. I posted it on youtube and then wrote up an announcement and sent it to all of my friends and people I've met in the media. I am a journalist so I have SOME media contacts but not many.

The hardest part about doing this is not letting go of my things, the hardest part is accepting the green lights that have been ongoing ever since I began this project. I was so used to the struggle, the rejection, people telling me NO that I am absolutely blown away by the support and positivity that others are showing. It kind of scares me.

I live a very minimalist lifestyle. I only have clothes, a television (that I do not use) and a bed. I'm not making a huge sacrifice because I do not have much, but my real sacrifice is in not allowing myself the luxury of having a roof over my head so that I can show women what it's like to lose everything. This is definitely scary to me. It was a constant fear as I decided to go full-time with developing this website. When I decided to create my own business and go full force with it, everyday I woke up wondering when the money would come in to be able to eat and support my living expenses. What if nothing comes from this? What if this is a failure like everything else was?

This fear of failure is universal. To most people, success is equal to millions of dollars, fame and unlimited resources. These same people, when faced with an extreme life transition will go crazy if their "stuff" is suddenly taken away.

That "stuff" does not define your success. It does not define your value in this world. Failure is a subjective term. We only fail when we don't keep moving toward our goal.

And I'm moving onward, not knowing what will come next but believing that this new direction will take me where I want to be.

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