Tuesday, May 10, 2011

REBUILD: I May Be A Sucker

They prey on sympathy.

I realize that now. I am too sweet of a person and too sensitive to cries for help to do this. Here at the shelter, everyone needs help and they're not afraid to ask.

I cried tonight because I keep trying to help and help and there's no end to the asking.

Maybe I'm not meant to be in this business of helping others. Goodness knows, if someone needed a shirt, I'd pass mine along. But some of these people don't need a shirt, but they'll take it anyway. They'll laugh at you afterward for giving it to them as if they got over on you. They consider you weak. Maybe I am. I have a weakness for people in need.

I try not to give what I don't have but it's getting to me how hopeless people are and how much they need.

I think I need to get out of here but I don't know where to go. I still haven't rebuilt my life yet and I find my heart is turning cold towards the people in this shelter.

I never had a cold heart. Most people call me a sucker because my INSTINCT is to help. I'm learning, the hard way, that people will take and take and take and then walk away and ask someone else if you don't give it.

But how do you distinguish those who are truly in need from those who are simply trying to get over?

I have to toughen up.

But for now I'm thinking this place isn't for me. I'm beginning to be disgusted.

All I wanna say is HELP YOURSELF.


i always thought that you WERE tough..i think youre nice but can be a bitch when need be.


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