Sunday, July 3, 2011

REBUILD: Big Mistake

Today I wanted to tell somebody, "You should kill yourself."

How's that for an inspiration leader.

Yeah. I know. I'm just, hurting from this back injury thing and annoyed right now. I don't know what to do.

This project has turned my whole world upside down and I find myself regretting it. I'm miserable. I've met people that I think I would have been better of if I had never known existed.

I don't exactly feel like a failure but then again, I feel stupid for trying this. Yes, I have had a good time making videos, but I could have done that from the comfort of my own home.

I'm more mistrusful of people.

I'm even MORE anti social.

I have less hope for my life.

I think in general, that people suck.

I'm not meeting anyone that I connect with.

I found myself wishing I could die today, feeling like I had no purpose for being here.

Yeah, today was a rough day.

But even on the rough days, the sun rises. Too bad by the time this sun rises, in a couple of hours, it will be time for me to go to WORK when I haven't even been to sleep yet because my back was hurting all night.

I'm becoming even more miserable. I feel like I'm sucking it all up, the environment. The world. The world is a disgusting place to be in. Everyone's sad. Everyone's in need. Everyone's trying to get over on you.

No one is sincere.

You can't trust anyone.

You shouldn't.

Just try. That's all you can do.

Try to make the best out of what you have been given.

This was definitely a mistake for me to be here.

A big mistake.

I'm stupid thinking I could make a difference.

Dumb ass.



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